
Or, if you will, sentient FUN GUYS!!! Selfie-high-five.
However, this all begs the question: what do they taste like if you cook them...?
Struggling to fit perfectly into any one genre box, Captain Toad Treasure Tracker is probably best described by a lazy reviewer as a puzzler/platformer. As tempted as we are to leave it at that, and just skip to the score, we fear we must elaborate - lest we invoke the merciless wrath of Revron, Guardian of the Reviews. Quickly now - he's already outside the window, banging his bare torso against it, as he throws his head back to gnash wordlessly at the sky! Oh no! He has already begun to spurt his musk!!!
If you played Super Mario 3D World, and remember the Toad stages from that, you'll have a small idea of what to expect from this. Not least, because the game literally revisits Super Mario 3D World at points.
If you don't know what we're on about, here's the game in a token amount of additional depth: your aim is to reach the star in a series of short, floating levels. The titular Toad (or - talking of token gestures - Toadette), has to collect coins, flick switches, avoid pitfalls, and circumnavigate or destroy enemies (by throwing stuff at them, Super Mario Bros. 2 style). Key to the control is using the right analogue stick to rotate the camera, work out the best route through the stages, and keep track of your character as he (or - fine, whatever - she) ascends ramps, and climbs ladders.
LEG JOINTS
While fitting seamlessly into the Mario galaxy, Treasure Tracker breaks with tradition by featuring no jumping. We don't know if the mushroom people have weak leg joints, or are just profoundly lazy, but it results in a game that is stripped back to its essence. It's pure gameplay, pure Nintendo genius - doing that thing that Nintendo has always done so well of taking one simple idea, and wringing as much mileage as possible from it.

If there is a complaint, we'd have to admit that it's not the toughest of games, so you'll be through the entirety of it in a couple of days (though returning to collect all the bonus diamonds - if you can be bothered - might take a while). Also, there's a chance some people might struggle with the considered pace.
But anyone who has ever appreciated the Nintendo charm and dedication to the purity of video game design - from the control scheme, to the level layouts, to the aesthetic and character design - will find this a masterclass.
SUMMARY: Pure gameplay, pure Nintendo genius. But... please... what does Toad taste like?
SCORE: 89.14354%