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REVIEW: CADENCE OF HYRULE (Switch)

4/7/2019

6 Comments

 
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When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!!!!!!! 

We all know that joke, yes? Of course you do: the first time you heard it you laughed - because, ha ha, a door isn't a jar!!! And then you had to ask what "ajar" meant. I still don't know. 

"What do you mean you don't know what ajar means? You idiot. You stupid little idiot. Go to your room!"

Let's try another one: when is a Zelda game not a Zelda game? When it's Cadence of Hyrule!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nintendo has become quite adept at placing its biggest franchise characters into genres that are a far stretch from their origins. Super Smash Bros. is the most obvious example, but over the years Zelda has lent itself to light-gun games, strategy "things" and puzzlers.

​Its spin-off catalogue isn't quite as diverse as Mario's - lest we forget Mario Teaches Macramé? - but it's getting there, as Nintendo strives to keep the series pumping along twixt bona-fide instalments.

Cadence of Hyrule is a weird one in that for all intents and purpose you'd be forgiven for thinking it was a bona-fide Zelda game. It isn't.

I... I... I said IT ISN'T.

Oh, so you did hear me...
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OH HYRULE THERE!
Cadence of Hyrule - or, rather, Cadence of Hyrule: Crypt of the Necrodancer featuring The Legend of Zelda, to give this game its full title -  is a crossover-cum-spinoff of Crypt of the Necrodancer, a game  I admit that I haven't played, featuring locations, characters, and music from the Zeldaverse. You can play as Link, Zelda or Necrodancer's Cadence, whoever that is. 

Zelda trimmings or not, I can safely say that Cadence of Hyrule: The Dog: The Movie is unlike any game I have ever played. It has a very Zelda-y storyline, it looks like a top-down Zelda RPG, albeit with a chessboard-like overlay, there are bosses, and dungeons, and quests... and yet it plays like a Zelda game in only the most superficial sense.

In short, Cadence of Hyrule: Prance Along With Link Featuring The Ganon Hot-Steppers is a rhythm-based action game, wherein famous Zelda themes have been given a sort of disco remix.

When enemies are on screen, your character can only move or attack in time to the beat. And you don't even have an attack button: you just sort of bump into enemies to attack them... unless they bump into you first. It's like every nightclub you've ever been to!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!

It's kind of structured in a weird way with light - shudder - roguelike-elements; the map stays roughly the same, but the placement of the areas are randomised, and some dungeons are randomly-generated. You lose certain items and money whenever you die. You'll receive certain bonuses for moving and attacking in time to the beat; move off-beat, and you won't get your reward for clearing a screen.

Initially, it's bewildering and impossible. It took me ages to stop trying to play it like a regular RPG, and I got frustrated that I kept dying. Once it clicked into place, and I realised that there was a certain choreography to the combat - I had to study enemy movement patterns, and plan my attacks accordingly - then I started to enjoy Cadence of Hyrule: The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance featuring Jay-Z. 

​Well, sort of. To a point. And that point was the point that I realised I didn't really like these sorts of games. 
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BOARDS OF CADENCE
Cadence of Hyrule has been getting good reviews across the board, but I think it's important to state that this isn't a game for everyone.

Speaking as somebody who has absolutely no sense of rhythm, I spent much of the time enjoying the aesthetics, while wishing it was just a new, classic-style, Zelda game. You can actually switch off the rhythm stuff, but it sort of blunts the entire purpose of its existence. 

What can I say? The biggest hurdle I struggled to overcome throughout its roughly six-hour length was how much I wanted it to be something it isn't. For me, Zelda games are never better than when they're played from a top-down perspective, and this felt like a cruel teasing of that format. Like your mum telling you she's made your favourite pie for tea, but there's secretly a balloon inside it which bursts when you bite into it.

"Ow! My lips!"

Again, I clearly appear to be in a minority. It's one of those games where I can understand why people like it, can see that it's a game which is original, and has had love poured into it, but simply have to accept that it doesn't chime with what I want from a game. This happens. We are not all the same. 

I award Nintendo full marks for stretching the definition of what a Zelda game can be, and the Necrodancer gameplay is certainly a one-off, but - ultimately - it's not really my bag.

Which is fine. WHICH IS FINE, DO YOU HEAR?

Oh, you heard.

SCORE: 60bpm out of 100bpm
6 Comments
Wranko
4/7/2019 10:46:17 am

There's nothing wrong with having a different opinion to others, and indeed our own tastes are formed by experiences so varying and wide-ranging that the very concept of 'objectivism' is inherently flawed. However, I would expect more than 'I wanted a traditional Zelda game and this isn't that' from a review

Reply
Mr Biffo
4/7/2019 11:16:23 am

Expect all you like. This is what you got!

Reply
Spiney O’Sullivan
4/7/2019 04:33:28 pm

So what you’re saying is that you wanted a traditional review and this isn’t that?

Reply
Wranko
5/7/2019 09:39:09 am

I'm not sure this functions as a review at all

Harry Steele
4/7/2019 11:03:00 am

*This* is why I love your reviews - the honesty about them. I've not played it but I feel I'd get the same reaction; I like the relaxing aspects of Zelda as much as the action and I think the constant motion would stress me out! (I might get it on offer as I didn't know you could turn off the beat, though!)

Reply
RichardM
4/7/2019 04:53:21 pm

I was worried when I saw this because I thought it was the teased Zelda mobile game, which it seems not to be. Thank goodness for that! Fuck Dr Mario: hurry up with some sort of non-rhythm based Zelda on my phone, Nintendo, please!

Reply



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