There are one... two... two things about 1-2-Switch that somewhat "rasped my colon".
The first of these things is that it should've been bundled with the Switch, rather than released as a more-or-less full price game. Doing this would've achieved one... two... two things; firstly, it would've stopped us all complaining that 1-2-Switch hadn't been bundled with the Switch.
Secondly, given that everyone who bought a Switch was inevitably going to buy Zelda - which, classic as it is, doesn't really show off what is unique about the hardware - it would've demonstrated that there's slightly more to the machine than being just another console.
The second annoying thing is that each of 1-2-Switch's 28 mini games is demonstrated via a video clip which is a) Somehow not very Nintendo-y, and b) Acted out by some of the world's most ghastly wankers.
Fortunately, 1-2-Switch quite literally implores you to ignore the screen and face your opponent. You see... 1-2-Switch is a multiplayer game of the classic ilk (typically two players, but can also be played in teams) which - perhaps for the first time in video game history - requires you to look directly at another human being. Instead of following the action on the screen, you must trust the rumbly cues you get from your JoyCon controller.
Suffice to say, I am duty bound to make the following joke: for some video game fans, this will be first time in their lives that they've ever made eye contact with anyone.
The first of these things is that it should've been bundled with the Switch, rather than released as a more-or-less full price game. Doing this would've achieved one... two... two things; firstly, it would've stopped us all complaining that 1-2-Switch hadn't been bundled with the Switch.
Secondly, given that everyone who bought a Switch was inevitably going to buy Zelda - which, classic as it is, doesn't really show off what is unique about the hardware - it would've demonstrated that there's slightly more to the machine than being just another console.
The second annoying thing is that each of 1-2-Switch's 28 mini games is demonstrated via a video clip which is a) Somehow not very Nintendo-y, and b) Acted out by some of the world's most ghastly wankers.
Fortunately, 1-2-Switch quite literally implores you to ignore the screen and face your opponent. You see... 1-2-Switch is a multiplayer game of the classic ilk (typically two players, but can also be played in teams) which - perhaps for the first time in video game history - requires you to look directly at another human being. Instead of following the action on the screen, you must trust the rumbly cues you get from your JoyCon controller.
Suffice to say, I am duty bound to make the following joke: for some video game fans, this will be first time in their lives that they've ever made eye contact with anyone.
BEHOLD THE WANKERS
UDDERS
Have you ever wanted to squeeze a cow's tit-tays? Or "crack" a "safe"? Or impress people by hitting them in the head with a sword, or by showing them how quickly you can answer the phone, or how well you can copy their dancing? These are but a handful of the activities that 1-2-Switch allows you to enjoy.
In some respects, it's an expanded proof-of-concept demo, which makes it the Switch's Wii Sports (though the closest it gets to an actual sport is with its table tennis mini game - which is, sadly, one of the less successful offerings here). It does a good job of selling the singular capabilities of the console - particularly the social and portable possibilities on offer.
Indeed, a mate and I even had a quick go of 1-2-Switch in the pub the other night... Though we had to cherry-pick which games we played, given that - and there's no delicate way of saying this - several of-1-2-Switch's mini games make the players look like they're masturbating furiously (shaking a bottle of soda, for instance), performing fellatio (hot dog eating), or rubbing a tramp's penis on their face (shaving).
With the games ranked by how physically demanding they are (you can pick and choose, or set it to random), 1-2-Switch offers something for everyone. Indeed, my favourite is the one where you must attempt to psyche out your opponent in a dice-rolling challenge - far more fun than it sounds, and I don't even have to go to the effort of standing up.
Also, the game which seems to get everyone most excited is the one where players must guess the number of balls they have in a box, by moving it around. the movement of the balls is simulated rather cleverly by the JoyCon's remarkably subtle rumble feature and gyroscope. That's Nintendo thinking outside the box, while you're thinking about what's inside the box.
Do you see?
Have you ever wanted to squeeze a cow's tit-tays? Or "crack" a "safe"? Or impress people by hitting them in the head with a sword, or by showing them how quickly you can answer the phone, or how well you can copy their dancing? These are but a handful of the activities that 1-2-Switch allows you to enjoy.
In some respects, it's an expanded proof-of-concept demo, which makes it the Switch's Wii Sports (though the closest it gets to an actual sport is with its table tennis mini game - which is, sadly, one of the less successful offerings here). It does a good job of selling the singular capabilities of the console - particularly the social and portable possibilities on offer.
Indeed, a mate and I even had a quick go of 1-2-Switch in the pub the other night... Though we had to cherry-pick which games we played, given that - and there's no delicate way of saying this - several of-1-2-Switch's mini games make the players look like they're masturbating furiously (shaking a bottle of soda, for instance), performing fellatio (hot dog eating), or rubbing a tramp's penis on their face (shaving).
With the games ranked by how physically demanding they are (you can pick and choose, or set it to random), 1-2-Switch offers something for everyone. Indeed, my favourite is the one where you must attempt to psyche out your opponent in a dice-rolling challenge - far more fun than it sounds, and I don't even have to go to the effort of standing up.
Also, the game which seems to get everyone most excited is the one where players must guess the number of balls they have in a box, by moving it around. the movement of the balls is simulated rather cleverly by the JoyCon's remarkably subtle rumble feature and gyroscope. That's Nintendo thinking outside the box, while you're thinking about what's inside the box.
Do you see?
SIGNPOST
Some have compared 1-2-Switch to WarioWare, and while there are similarities, this is less an exercise in Nintendo-themed nostalgia than a signpost for the future.
Also, whereas WarioWare was always best played solo, 1-2-Switch only really works as a party game. In fact, it has far more in common with board games than it does most video games; it's not going to be something you play every day... but if you've got friends or family over, you might want to bring it out for a few quick games. Once again, the portability of the Switch comes into play - you can take 1-2-Switch around with you, as you would a copy of Trivial Pursuit.
It has actually underscored for me just what an unsociable hobby gaming has become. So rare is it now to get a game where players communicate with one another in the same room - rather than over a headset, in different houses, sometimes in different countries - that 1-2-Switch feels genuinely new and fresh, rather than a return to the way multiplayer games were always played.
It feels as good a demonstration of Nintendo's philosophy as anything else, and really helps to explain why Nintendo essentially bundled a pair of controllers with the Switch, rather than the paltry one that most consoles come with these days.
1-2-Switch is probably a bit overpriced for what it is, but a brand new copy of the Trivial Pursuit Master Edition would set you back 40 quid... and that doesn't even let you pretend in front of your friends and family that you're masturbing furiously. Well, you could I suppose, but it's unlikely to help you win a game of general knowledge.
"What are you doing, Dave?"
"I'M PRETENDING TO MASTURBATE FURIOUSLY!"
"'Kay. Sports & Leisure, or Science & Nature?"
"Sp... unnngh... sports & l-l-l-leisure..! GNNNNG!"
SUMMARY: A decent party game, which is quite unlike anything you'll have played before. Plus... eye-contact!
SCORE: 1... 2... 2 out of 3.
Some have compared 1-2-Switch to WarioWare, and while there are similarities, this is less an exercise in Nintendo-themed nostalgia than a signpost for the future.
Also, whereas WarioWare was always best played solo, 1-2-Switch only really works as a party game. In fact, it has far more in common with board games than it does most video games; it's not going to be something you play every day... but if you've got friends or family over, you might want to bring it out for a few quick games. Once again, the portability of the Switch comes into play - you can take 1-2-Switch around with you, as you would a copy of Trivial Pursuit.
It has actually underscored for me just what an unsociable hobby gaming has become. So rare is it now to get a game where players communicate with one another in the same room - rather than over a headset, in different houses, sometimes in different countries - that 1-2-Switch feels genuinely new and fresh, rather than a return to the way multiplayer games were always played.
It feels as good a demonstration of Nintendo's philosophy as anything else, and really helps to explain why Nintendo essentially bundled a pair of controllers with the Switch, rather than the paltry one that most consoles come with these days.
1-2-Switch is probably a bit overpriced for what it is, but a brand new copy of the Trivial Pursuit Master Edition would set you back 40 quid... and that doesn't even let you pretend in front of your friends and family that you're masturbing furiously. Well, you could I suppose, but it's unlikely to help you win a game of general knowledge.
"What are you doing, Dave?"
"I'M PRETENDING TO MASTURBATE FURIOUSLY!"
"'Kay. Sports & Leisure, or Science & Nature?"
"Sp... unnngh... sports & l-l-l-leisure..! GNNNNG!"
SUMMARY: A decent party game, which is quite unlike anything you'll have played before. Plus... eye-contact!
SCORE: 1... 2... 2 out of 3.
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