QUIZ: CAN YOU SPOT THE HIPSTER?

Hipsters as we know them are a dying breed. That big, bushy beard which allowed the rest of us to identify the male members of this subculture of generally white, affluent millennials - who, lest we forget, do not themselves identify as hipsters, and would never consciously do anything as cliched as belong to a clique or subculture - are becoming ever more rare.

And so, as the hipster evolves, just like our simian ancestors, they are becoming less and less hairy.

Nevertheless, this past weekend saw World Beard Day, and - as refugees pour out of war-torn countries, and European governments twist in the wind to find a solution that ideally doesn't involve World War 3 - these young, carefully bearded, men flooded Twitter and Instagram with pictures of their faces, because they thought that might be something we'd all like to see.

But while there's still some juice to be squeezed out of this topic... we must ask you the following: can you tell a real hipster from an olde timey-style person? There is literally only one way to find out: by immediately taking this important Digitiser2000 quiz.

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QUESTION 1

Here are two hipsters... or is it just one hipster? Or is it none hipsters? Allow us to solve this "riddle-me-ree": it is one hipster. But which one is which one? We can reveal that the genuine hipster is on the right. His name is Brody Zoot.

QUESTION 2

Another pair of gentlemen of the hair-faced variety. But which is the hipster, and which is a man who lived a long time ago? If you said the hipster is on left, then you'd be both correct and "on the money". His name is Hudson Kale.

QUESTION 3

Here's a real big lie: we present for you two hipsters. A lie? Well, you see, it is in fact one hipster, and one old-fashioned gent. Which is which, however? Allow us to put you out of your misery: the hipster is on the left. His name? He is Kent Bluckett.

QUESTION 4

Here are a couple of bearded seamen. But one of them is a "sea falsey". Because, you "sea"... he's actually a hipster. But to which one are we referring? We are now going to tell you that: the hipster is on the right, brushing the nape of a deceased fox. He is known by the name Django Strawb.

QUESTION 5

"Hipster, hipster, which one I be? The one on the left is the one that's me! My name be not Dan, nor Malc, nor Dwight - my name is Cormac Strupper... yes, that seems about right".

QUESTION 6

This deuce of likely fellows sport a type of moustache known as a twirly. But we wish we knew which one is the hipster, and which is the man-of-the-past... Actually, it's okay, everyone - we're just punking you, for we actually do know: it is the one on the left. His given name is Van Almanac.

QUESTION 7

A doublet of men, but only one hipster. Let us not dally with this charade a moment longer - that one hipster is the one on the left. He goes by the appellation Atticus Pond.

QUESTION 8

Bear witness to this brace of woolly lemons. They're practically indistinguishable... but look closely, and you'll spot that the one on the left is a hipster, possessing the cognomen Edison Xanth.

QUESTION 9

Stare hard into that double brace of dewy hipster eyes... now zoom in real close and you'll see an old-fashioned, fixed gear bicycle reflected in one of them. But which pair is the one about which we speak? Why, the one on the right. His handle is Branx Remedy.

QUESTION 10

Hipsters love a second-hand beanie that they found in a skip behind a charity shop, especially if it once belonged to a rotting pauper. Especially the hipster over on the right there. He uses the tag Sptzaz St. Hummusts.

QUESTION 11

Here's our last combo of males. Which one would you label hipster, with your hipster-labelling abilities? If you were to give the correct answer, the correct answer would be as follows: it is the hipster to the right, and he sports the sobriquet Bear Glebe.

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