I mean, I love first-person shooters. It confused me that anybody would make a first-person shooter which seemed designed to undermine all the things I enjoy about the genre. I'm all for breaking moulds, but I couldn't fathom how players were feeling rewarded by its relentless slog.
Most frustratingly of all, I looked on - helpless - as Destiny grew into a bona-fide phenomenon. The people who loved it really loved it, and I felt like I was on the outside, looking through the window as everyone enjoyed a party.
It's the same feeling I get when it comes to Dark Souls; desperately wanting to be part of something, while a sense creeps up on me that - whisper it - this is not designed for me. It's hard not to feel shunned, or like I've been told I'm not worthy enough.
"It's fine. You stick to your little kiddy games, love..."
And yet, that message had failed to go in entirely, because I bought Destiny 2 - and I set out last weekend to play it. This time it was going to click with me, I'd decided. I would put in the work. I'd find a team. I'd do the raids, and suffer the grind, and build my character. I'd play it properly, and I would love it, and it would be my reward for a hard year's worth of work.
But first... there were other things which needed doing.