It's a little over a month until PlayStation VR is released. I mean... I think so anyway.
They are still releasing it aren't they? Alright, we've only just been spat out the other side of summer - a time when, traditionally, most messages fall on sunburnt ears - but the PSVR hype machine has yet to show up to town.
And it needs to show up, because, well, get this: after the initial early adopter madness, sales of PC VR headsets - the Oculus and Vive - have pretty much ground to a halt. The speculation is this: beyond the early adopters, nobody is willing to spend thousands for the privilege of putting a nausea-inducing helmet on their heads. You can get much the same effect by wearing a pig-slop bucket.
Add to this the sheer lack of games available - or any one piece of software which gives VR a conclusive reason to exist - and it isn't hard to see why sales have dribbled to a tawdry halt.
But wait! PlayStation VR! That's going to bring VR to the masses without the need for a rilly rilly, like, expensive PC! Even the headset is relatively affordable! And it's out soon!
So where's the hype, Sony? Even I'm starting to think that PSVR was some sort of weird fever dream caused by licking an infected stetson.
They are still releasing it aren't they? Alright, we've only just been spat out the other side of summer - a time when, traditionally, most messages fall on sunburnt ears - but the PSVR hype machine has yet to show up to town.
And it needs to show up, because, well, get this: after the initial early adopter madness, sales of PC VR headsets - the Oculus and Vive - have pretty much ground to a halt. The speculation is this: beyond the early adopters, nobody is willing to spend thousands for the privilege of putting a nausea-inducing helmet on their heads. You can get much the same effect by wearing a pig-slop bucket.
Add to this the sheer lack of games available - or any one piece of software which gives VR a conclusive reason to exist - and it isn't hard to see why sales have dribbled to a tawdry halt.
But wait! PlayStation VR! That's going to bring VR to the masses without the need for a rilly rilly, like, expensive PC! Even the headset is relatively affordable! And it's out soon!
So where's the hype, Sony? Even I'm starting to think that PSVR was some sort of weird fever dream caused by licking an infected stetson.
MAGS & FAGS
That's a question you can probably answer, if you're any sort of gamer: that hype is everywhere, right?
Well, the games mags and sites are talking about it... but Sony needs to preach beyond the converted. The PlayStation VR is, essentially, a new hardware format.
See, it has to be sold as a new format to justify the expense of developing games for it.
But beyond it just being a new format, it's something else that we haven't seen since the Wii; a brand new way of playing games. Unlike the Wii, it's a harder sell: the Wii was unthreatening, inclusive. Switch it on when the family are round, and everyone could play together. The PSVR, by its very nature, shuts us off from one another. Word of mouth is harder to spread.
We know the PSVR is going to be £399, you can play it with the standard PS joypad or the Move controller, that it'll come bundled with a disc of demos, Rez Infinite will be a launch title (probably), and then... the solid facts dry up. I've no idea what games will be available for it from day one.
Think back to major console launches: a month out from release, you already kind of knew which games you were going to buy, didn't you? I know barely anything about the PSVR launch titles. Furthermore, the games I know as confirmed for the technology aren't exactly getting me excited. Resident Evil VII might be something I want to play... but I've been discouraged by reports of it making players throw up in their own faces.
I played one of those rollercoaster simulators on the Oculus Rift a few weeks back, and lasted about a minute before I wanted to be sick. How am I going to cope with something that's more than just a demo?
This is the gulf which Sony needs to have started bridging: they need to be telling people why they should own a PSVR, because the barriers in front of it are huge.
If Sony isn't able to do that, then the system is going to go the way of so many peripherals: left unsupported, because it hasn't sold in sufficient quantities to make it worth creating games for.
That's a question you can probably answer, if you're any sort of gamer: that hype is everywhere, right?
Well, the games mags and sites are talking about it... but Sony needs to preach beyond the converted. The PlayStation VR is, essentially, a new hardware format.
See, it has to be sold as a new format to justify the expense of developing games for it.
But beyond it just being a new format, it's something else that we haven't seen since the Wii; a brand new way of playing games. Unlike the Wii, it's a harder sell: the Wii was unthreatening, inclusive. Switch it on when the family are round, and everyone could play together. The PSVR, by its very nature, shuts us off from one another. Word of mouth is harder to spread.
We know the PSVR is going to be £399, you can play it with the standard PS joypad or the Move controller, that it'll come bundled with a disc of demos, Rez Infinite will be a launch title (probably), and then... the solid facts dry up. I've no idea what games will be available for it from day one.
Think back to major console launches: a month out from release, you already kind of knew which games you were going to buy, didn't you? I know barely anything about the PSVR launch titles. Furthermore, the games I know as confirmed for the technology aren't exactly getting me excited. Resident Evil VII might be something I want to play... but I've been discouraged by reports of it making players throw up in their own faces.
I played one of those rollercoaster simulators on the Oculus Rift a few weeks back, and lasted about a minute before I wanted to be sick. How am I going to cope with something that's more than just a demo?
This is the gulf which Sony needs to have started bridging: they need to be telling people why they should own a PSVR, because the barriers in front of it are huge.
If Sony isn't able to do that, then the system is going to go the way of so many peripherals: left unsupported, because it hasn't sold in sufficient quantities to make it worth creating games for.
WORK IT, GIRLS!
I want the PlayStation VR to work. Let's face it, affordable virtual reality has been a dream of gamers for more than two decades. The potential of the technology is immense.
But the people selling these things need to wake up to the fact that it's a hard sell. Just as I predicted again and again, the Oculus Rift and HTC Vive were priced beyond the pockets of the mass-market. People will spend that money on a new car, or a fancy shed, or a big telly, but not something which is so unproven, and has still yet to justify itself.
The PlayStation VR is the best chance virtual reality has of breaking through, but I can't help feeling that Sony is already fondling the ball - and not in a good way. Unless there is an absolute barrage of hype over the next month - essentially they need to educate the public on what this thing is, and why they should be interested in it - it's just going to arrive into a vacuum of public indifference. A public, lest we forget, that was all too recently burned by 3DTV.
Already I have concerns about the games which we know are coming: there's nothing there other than the same sorts of games we already have. People want character, they want stuff they can hold onto. Not something as abstract and impenetrable as Rez Infinite, or yet more robots and sci-fi soldiers, or the CGI sterility of Battlezone. Did Tron 2 teach us nothing?
Stuff that reaches for cool - as so much PSVR software seems to be doing - simply alienates people. What cool kids fail to realise is that the majority of us think they're dicks, and don't want anything to do with them.
I mean, Sony's PSVR marketing has - to date - made me feel a bit ill. Take this horrible online ad for one thing. It's as borderline try-hard as a mid-90s Atari Jaguar commercial, somehow managing to appeal to nobody in its play-it-safe approach. We're a long way from the genuinely beguiling marketing of the original PlayStation.
I want the PlayStation VR to work. Let's face it, affordable virtual reality has been a dream of gamers for more than two decades. The potential of the technology is immense.
But the people selling these things need to wake up to the fact that it's a hard sell. Just as I predicted again and again, the Oculus Rift and HTC Vive were priced beyond the pockets of the mass-market. People will spend that money on a new car, or a fancy shed, or a big telly, but not something which is so unproven, and has still yet to justify itself.
The PlayStation VR is the best chance virtual reality has of breaking through, but I can't help feeling that Sony is already fondling the ball - and not in a good way. Unless there is an absolute barrage of hype over the next month - essentially they need to educate the public on what this thing is, and why they should be interested in it - it's just going to arrive into a vacuum of public indifference. A public, lest we forget, that was all too recently burned by 3DTV.
Already I have concerns about the games which we know are coming: there's nothing there other than the same sorts of games we already have. People want character, they want stuff they can hold onto. Not something as abstract and impenetrable as Rez Infinite, or yet more robots and sci-fi soldiers, or the CGI sterility of Battlezone. Did Tron 2 teach us nothing?
Stuff that reaches for cool - as so much PSVR software seems to be doing - simply alienates people. What cool kids fail to realise is that the majority of us think they're dicks, and don't want anything to do with them.
I mean, Sony's PSVR marketing has - to date - made me feel a bit ill. Take this horrible online ad for one thing. It's as borderline try-hard as a mid-90s Atari Jaguar commercial, somehow managing to appeal to nobody in its play-it-safe approach. We're a long way from the genuinely beguiling marketing of the original PlayStation.
WHAT??!
So what happens now? My prediction is this: the PSVR will sell out at launch, there'll be shortages leading up to Christmas - unavoidable with such a global hardware release. The news sites will declare it a huge success.
Then sales will taper off, because there isn't a single killer, crossover app. It will fail to break through to the mass-market. Sony will mumble something about it meeting expectations, without releasing actual figures.
Suspicion will mount that they're hiding something. There'll be reports of users experiencing nausea and headaches.
Then there'll be a big push from Sony, to bring some big brands onto the hardware, to convince major publishers to stick with it. We'll get a few huge releases, which will disappoint sales-wise, and then development for the hardware will taper off. Sales will never quite pick up to the levels that are needed to justify its existence. It will be declared a failure.
Sony will - as they're already hinting - reinvest in mobile gaming, in the wake of Pokemon Go. Augmented Reality will be the next hot technology, and investment will move away from VR into the AR sphere. The second coming of VR will be just another footnote in gaming history. The future will be written by the lewd and hairy Jacobites of Augmented Reality.
So what happens now? My prediction is this: the PSVR will sell out at launch, there'll be shortages leading up to Christmas - unavoidable with such a global hardware release. The news sites will declare it a huge success.
Then sales will taper off, because there isn't a single killer, crossover app. It will fail to break through to the mass-market. Sony will mumble something about it meeting expectations, without releasing actual figures.
Suspicion will mount that they're hiding something. There'll be reports of users experiencing nausea and headaches.
Then there'll be a big push from Sony, to bring some big brands onto the hardware, to convince major publishers to stick with it. We'll get a few huge releases, which will disappoint sales-wise, and then development for the hardware will taper off. Sales will never quite pick up to the levels that are needed to justify its existence. It will be declared a failure.
Sony will - as they're already hinting - reinvest in mobile gaming, in the wake of Pokemon Go. Augmented Reality will be the next hot technology, and investment will move away from VR into the AR sphere. The second coming of VR will be just another footnote in gaming history. The future will be written by the lewd and hairy Jacobites of Augmented Reality.
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