
Indeed, ripping off other games has become as ubiquitous within the games industry as Christ's body was - both physically and spiritually - at the Lord's Supper, as referred to in the Lutheran doctrine of Consubstantiation.
Still... much as we're often taken aback by the wholesale ripping-off that goes on between games companies, not everyone has left themselves open to it.
To further illustrate that of which we speak... here are eight or nine solid gaming patents that you might not know about.
If a touchscreen sounds like a wretched way to control console games - worry not: apparently, two physical analogue sticks would poke through the possibly hypothetical screen. As for the whimsical egg-head character portrayed in the patent image? That's Nintendo's new mascot: Charlotte Brontë.
Nicely, the back of the controller doubles as a Ped-Egg-style file for removing dead and rough skin from your feet.
Though this patent image shows a man laughing hysterically at an on-screen video of someone kicking themselves up the bottom - refreshing to know that Sony was aiming for the highest common denominator - the device would've also been capable of detecting boredom, excitement and ennui.
"Ha Ha Ha".
What a shame they didn't also patent anthropomorphic animal mascots... we would've been spared Bubsy the Bobcat and his tawdry ilk.
Rumour has it that inspiration for the corkscrew loops came from lead programmer Yuji Naka, after he caught his necktie in a tumble dryer mechanism, while trying to punish a cruel shrew.
Frankly, given that Ridge Racer only offered one track, some of us were thankful for the extra value offered by its loading screen.
What's that you say? You could also play through the track backwards? Try re-eating a meal backwards, and ask yourself whether that's value for money too, you corporate-cheerleading sheep.
Some of the things on this list aren't very interesting. This is probably the least interesting among them.
Among its fourth wall-warping tricks, it would turn the sound down on your TV, appear to wipe all of your save games, and send your mother on needless errands ("MOTHER HAS GONE TO FETCH BRICKS"... "MOTHER IS COLLECTING LEAVES"... "MOTHER WASHES TABLE LEGS").
However, its coup de guff was the insanity meter - the more insane your character got, the weirder the game became. Though something of a critical success, Eternal Darkness flopped on the family-friendly Gamecube, which explains - as much as the patent - why other games have steered away from offering mentally ill main characters.
Consider that next time you decide to affix a big, green, foam arrow to the front of your car, using a length of bamboo. Sega's lawyers would descend on you like jackals.
Small mercy, mind: it's not exactly the cross-bar D-Pad isn't the most finger-friendly of designs. Just look at the callouses on our thumbs.
<HOLDS UP THUMBS TO SCREEN>.
Oh wait. You can't see them.