While most of us have forgotten it ever existed, we can't quite believe that the Gamergate controversy is still rumbling along, a year after it began.
And yet, if you search for "gamergate" or "Social Justice Warrior" on any social media platform, those who both oppose or support the cause - such as it is - continue to take potshots at one another.
Who is right, who is wrong, and why is this most bitter of battles still raging? Here we attempt to understand the controversy by profiling six of the major players, and filling you in on a few things you may not have known about them...
And yet, if you search for "gamergate" or "Social Justice Warrior" on any social media platform, those who both oppose or support the cause - such as it is - continue to take potshots at one another.
Who is right, who is wrong, and why is this most bitter of battles still raging? Here we attempt to understand the controversy by profiling six of the major players, and filling you in on a few things you may not have known about them...
ZOE QUINN (Social Justice Warrior)
As most of us are aware, Zoe Quinn's personal life was the spark which ignited long-simmering passions and resentment, after an ex-boyfriend posted inflammatory allegations about his relationship with her. However, something he failed to mention was the fact that Quinn has a muscular sac inside the left part of her abdominal cavity, about twice the size of her fist. The sac even contains hydrochloric acid - yes, actual hydrochloric acid - which, were it to leak into a child's eyes, would cause searing pain, and possible blindness. Quinn uses this acid to break down her food, which - ultimately - she'll turn into excrement. Unbelievable.
ADAM BALDWIN (GamerGate)
Firefly actor Adam Baldwin was the first to coin the phrase "GamerGate". He has described the movement as being a fight against "political correctness". Unsurprising then, that in his day to day life Baldwin passes around half a litre of intestinal gas - sometimes more - every 24 hours. His gas is comprised of 9 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Only one percent of the flatus Baldwin expels contains sulphur - but this amount is sufficient to cause the gas to stink of old eggs and hotdog brine. Disgusting.
ANITA SARKEESIAN (Social Justice Warrior)
Media critic and blogger Sarkeesian is an outspoken advocate of women's rights. Nevertheless, it's a fact that at any one time - whether she is hosting her video series Tropes Vs Women in Video Games, or giving a talk on gender stereotyping in popular culture - Sarkeesian is walking around with several pounds of faeces actually inside her body, which she will ultimately expel through her anus. Sarkeesian has been doing this her entire life, and as an infant would soil herself up to several times a day. Revolting.
JORDAN OWEN (GamerGate)
Jordan Owen produced a crowd-funded documentary called The Sarkeesian Effect, which he claimed was an attempt to "explore, analyze and deconstruct some of the most common tropes and lies of Anita Sarkeesian". For someone so used to being on his high horse, you may be appalled to know that Owen has up to 74 different types of bacteria living inside his mouth. Indeed, in total Owen has around one million bacteria on each square centimetre of his body - including his penis and plums, if you can imagine those. Foul.
BRIANNA WU (Social Justice Warrior)
Game developer Briannu Wu is a victim of GamerGate harassment, and has spoken on the issue at length. For some reason, once a month, Wu sheds the lining of her womb, causing blood to flow from the uterus through the small opening in her cervix. So gross.
DAVIS AURINI (GamerGate)
Davis Aurini was the original director of the troubled Sarkeesian Effect project, a practising racist, and campaigner for men's rights. However, Aurini might think about campaigning a little harder, for no matter how diligently he wipes his bottom after defecating, there always remains an amount of fecal matter. “About a tenth of a gram, on average,” according to Charles Gerba, Ph.D, a microbiologist at the University of Arizona. That matter is then transferred to Aruini's underwear, which he is known to continue wearing throughout the day. Absolutely horrible.
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