Back when I used to babysit my nieces, I'd get them to behave by telling them that Hitler lived in the living room light. I would threaten to turn on the light, which would make "Hitler" and "The Bird" fly out and "get them".
Now in their 30s, they still remind me of the trauma this day.
Adolf Hitler, to my generation, was the original boogeyman. When I was growing up, he was a figure of fun - the awful power he wielded awfully was something that, to my parents' generation, who had lived through the war, could only be undermined by making fun of it. It was, as much as anything, a coping mechanism. It diminished his power.
Remember the comedian Freddie Starr? He had a whole routine where he'd dress up as Hitler and goose-step around the stage. This was something that could be seen on primetime TV, pre-watershed. Could you imagine, say, the outrage if Michael McIntyre presented the 2019 Royal Variety Show dressed in an SS uniform? Or if some tatty, low-rent, video game blog wrote an article in which Hitler was portrayed as an idiot?
That's how we used to see Nazis, you see; idiots, who happened to do something unspeakably evil. Those few who still clung to the ideology were diminished by our license to take the piss out of them. Now we're all much more fearful that Nazis aren't quite as mired in the past as they once were.
Of course, Germany has had a very different attitude to all things Nazi, and with good reason. Until last year, any image associated with Nazism - such as the swastika - was banned. Since the German ratings board, the USK, relaxed its rules, Nazi and other extremist imagery is now allowed in a video games, which are finally classed as an artistic product.
Before the change though, games featuring swastikas were either banned outright, or had to be altered for the German market. Here are some of the more notable examples.
Now in their 30s, they still remind me of the trauma this day.
Adolf Hitler, to my generation, was the original boogeyman. When I was growing up, he was a figure of fun - the awful power he wielded awfully was something that, to my parents' generation, who had lived through the war, could only be undermined by making fun of it. It was, as much as anything, a coping mechanism. It diminished his power.
Remember the comedian Freddie Starr? He had a whole routine where he'd dress up as Hitler and goose-step around the stage. This was something that could be seen on primetime TV, pre-watershed. Could you imagine, say, the outrage if Michael McIntyre presented the 2019 Royal Variety Show dressed in an SS uniform? Or if some tatty, low-rent, video game blog wrote an article in which Hitler was portrayed as an idiot?
That's how we used to see Nazis, you see; idiots, who happened to do something unspeakably evil. Those few who still clung to the ideology were diminished by our license to take the piss out of them. Now we're all much more fearful that Nazis aren't quite as mired in the past as they once were.
Of course, Germany has had a very different attitude to all things Nazi, and with good reason. Until last year, any image associated with Nazism - such as the swastika - was banned. Since the German ratings board, the USK, relaxed its rules, Nazi and other extremist imagery is now allowed in a video games, which are finally classed as an artistic product.
Before the change though, games featuring swastikas were either banned outright, or had to be altered for the German market. Here are some of the more notable examples.
INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE
One of my favourite LucasArts point-and-click adventures. Even though Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade - the film - was released uncut in Germany, the game of the movie had to obscure all of its swastikas with an unconvincing black blob.
"Oooh, what could possibly be under it?!"
"Oooh, what could possibly be under it?!"
HITLER SAYS: "Hmmph! Vas is das cheeky boys thinken they ist doink?! Meinen beautiful swassy ist not einen black blob! Ay-yi-yi!"
WOLFENSTEIN II: THE NEW COLOSSUS
The Wolfenstein series is all about them Nazis taking over the world, but given that it was set in a fictional timeline, the developers could at least excuse the changes to Nazi symbolism. Not only were the swastikas replaced, but the alternate history version of Adolf Hitler was given a shave, making him look a bit like Kevin Spacey; another creepy man.
Additionally, instead of being called "Führer", Hitler was only ever referred to as the apparently less-offensive "chancellor".
Additionally, instead of being called "Führer", Hitler was only ever referred to as the apparently less-offensive "chancellor".
HITLER SAYS: "Achtung, baby! Well, hallo handsome! Ich bin thinken Ich mighten be taken einen trip down to der razorgeschäft!"
HEARTS OF IRON 4
World War 2 strategy snore 'em up Hearts of Iron 4 also censored Adolf, making him the only leader not to be depicted in full. This is despite Mussolini, Stalin and Japan's Hirohito not exactly being blameless of any atrocities.
HITLER SAYS: "Das ist ein outrage! You kann nicht see meinen wunderschönen face! Adolf should nichten be kept in das shadows! He mighten bumpen into einen cabinet und bark his knöchel! Put on der light, um Gottes willen!"
10 SECOND NINJA
It's not just the big games which got the censorship treatment in Germany. Obscure indie platformer 10-Second Ninja originally featured a robotic Hitler head as an end-of-level boss. Though only superficially resembling the Nazi leader, for its German release the company still had to change the boss to this:
HITLER SAYS: "Adolf would liken der kleine roboter freund, damit er Adolf ein paar jelly bens holen konnte - whenever Adolf wanted! Jarwhol!"
CALL OF DUTY WW2
Though ostensibly historically accurate in every other respect, the German release of Call of Duty: WW2 swapped out its swastikas for a symbol that looked very much like the Iron Cross - a military decoration handed out during both World Wars. That's better is it?
HITLER SAYS: "Ah! Der Reichstag! Adolf hatte einmal schweren durchfall in diesem gebäude! Gut times."
SOUTH PARK: STICK OF TRUTH
Even making fun of Nazis was frowned upon in Germany. South Park: The Stick of Truth kept its Nazi zombies - a recurring enemy, replete with pointy helmets - but obscured all swastikas with black censorship stickers.
HITLER SAYS: "Das ist some crazy censorship! Adolf believen in der free speech for all! Das ist der basic human right! Just asken meinen pet pug."
CALL OF DUTY: WORLD AT WAR
Rather than go to the effort of remodelling the Nazi Zombies in Call of Duty: World At War, the game mode was removed entirely from the German release. No Nazis no problem.
HITLER SAYS: "Oy vey! Der zombies ist some crazy scary dudes, already! Ich bin froh, dass wir die in Deutschland nie hatten!"
WOLFENSTEIN 3D
Though Germany hasn't always been behind the censorship of in-game Nazi imagery; the SNES version of Wolfenstein 3D was changed worldwide, deleting all references to Nazis or Hitler. Indeed, end-of-level boss Hitler was given the requisite shave, but also had his name changed to "Staatmeister", which roughly translates to "State champion" (though the intro text refers to a "Hister").
Weirdly, in the Japanese released, he was given the name "Adolf Trautmann" - which means "Familiar Man".
Furthermore, Germany was renamed the "Master State", the enemies spoke English instead of German, almost all blood was removed (as it often is in German releases), and dogs became giant rats.
Weirdly, in the Japanese released, he was given the name "Adolf Trautmann" - which means "Familiar Man".
Furthermore, Germany was renamed the "Master State", the enemies spoke English instead of German, almost all blood was removed (as it often is in German releases), and dogs became giant rats.
HITLER SAYS: "Nun, das ist jetzt das Ende. Adolf kehrt jetzt in die Hölle zurück, wo er heutzutage lebt. Ich hoffe, Ihnen hat der Artikel gefallen. Na dann tschüss. OK, tschüss. Tschüss. Hoffe es hat euch gefallen. Tschüss. Bis bald. Tschüss."
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