And did Glamwroc decree upon Belmbarg the title of The Chosen One, and bestow upon him the Three Powers of Hartigan: Grannis, Hemmington and Jonty.
And t'was upon that day did Belmbarg pick up The Sword of Krramp-lips and mount his loyal steed Steve, and set out into the Plomptylands for the misty shores of Yardle-Prance-Flenn-Faff.
For Glamwroc, son of Yopple, had cast the Hafflespell 'pon The Prophecy of Tinc, and decreed that hope had not yet left his lands.
And so it was that Belmbarg did meet with the three fallen heroes in the City of Drabble, whom would become, in time, his most trusted companions: Nimmo the Elf - Mage-tickler of The Elder Gelb; Prancy McSloon - a cunning vorp-smith, betrothed to Dannic The Lisp-y; and Ropey Weaselshat - tinker, tailor, soldier, flasher.
Together, the four warriors did swear a brown allegiance to The Order of Footarse, and spread The Honks of Nanak 'cross the Realm of The Seven So-Called Realms - from the Nippled Mountains of Bazzo, to the Isles of Heavy Petting, to the dankest reaches of the Dwarven Sphincter Caverns of Mini-Me-Do.
But before victory could be claimed, and peace could descend upon the land like the whispered fall of a hair-faced kakklesprondlepoot, there would be a great many confrontations, and a great many casualties. At The Battle of Rumpleforeskin the Seven Wirbs of Heddle did umbletrant before the quanging rarfs of Drap-Rarf-Ro, and sample the bilious snarl of the Pergrembled Trutch, on the Third Day of Klag-Nub, in the month of Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeper-heep-heeeep..
THE BALLAD OF PLOBBINNG-NANNU
And as the Shadow of Vroom did settle over the land like an ashen lupin, Grandol begat Hrandal, who begat Wort, who begat Nibbis. And The Marching Egills of Piltron did klart their hamblehorns, grunning The Tardy Bwang of Wang Wang Do.
But t'was on the ninth morn that a hollow silence dragged peace in its wake, as the Drells and the Prells did wussle the Honks of Peace. And so, Belmbarg at last did pranty-J his helm - but not before his trusty spickle was milbied into the stuttering, vellied noosh of The Grand Flunt of Jasheroonie, returning once more to the belly of Sulby-Scalb, from whence it first was norbed.
And thus, did Krancy shamble down the tumbles of Droopy Canyon, where the Saspartingtons of Carb did fart themselves raw with brazen shrieks and whoops, in a spoony celebration of Moobis.
SUMMARY: Verily doth tittin skittle its gladis, as Proggus must rise from his pod.
SCORE: 8 Realms out of 10