NOW THAT DOCTOR WHO IS A WOMAN: WHAT'S NEXT?!

17/7/2017

The signs were there the minute Steven Moffat cast Peter Capaldi - initials PC; those lefty luvvies at the BBC have inflicted their politically correct agenda on the nation's most beloved institution - Doctor Who. How?! They've only gone and cast a woman!!!!!?!! The Doctor used to have two hearts - now he's going to have two boooooobs!!!!!!??!!!!!! What a liability - he'll probably get them trapped in the TARDIS doors!!!!!???!!!!

Why don't they do the decent thing and call the character what she is now: a nurse!!!!?!!!!! Get back in the kitchen, Doc - where you belong!!!!???!!! Galiffrey?!? More like Gal-afraid!!!!?!! Sonic vibrator, Doctor Phwoar, shegeneration... Etcetera etcetera.

The question is: where will the show go next?! Here's a glimpse into the future of the UK's formerly favourite long-running science-fiction series...!!!!??!!!!!!

DOCTOR 14: A HATE-PREACHING MUSLIM CLERIC

That's right - those right-on SJWs at the Beeb are going to make Doctor 14 a radical Muslim Cleric, preaching hate against Western values!!!?!!!!!!! He'll be travelling through space and time with his companion Fatima, dressed head-to-tow in a sonic burqa - that's bigger on the inside!!!!?

DOCTOR 15: A LESBIAN IN A WHEELCHAIR

Insanity!??!!!!! Doc 15 is going to be lezbo in a wheelchair - what are they gonna do?! Install ramps in the TARDIS?!?!? Who's going to pay for that, Aunty Beeb?! The hard-working British tax-payer no doubt!!!!?!!!! And ramps are going to make it easier for the Doc's arch-enemies the Daleks to get inside!!!?!!! Do our kids really want to see the Doctor snogging another woman on the planet Lesbos!?!?!?!!!!!!!

Think it through, for pity's sake!!!!??!!

DOCTOR 16: A BOAT FULL OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS

If Doctor Who can turn into a woman, who says he can't turn into a boat fully of horrible, smelly, illegal immigrants, who haven't washed or had access to a proper lavatory in over three months, and are materialising on our shores to take our jobs and lower the value of our houses?!?

Do you ever see Doctor Who use a passport when he lands on all those alien planets?!!! Now you know why!!! Still, the stench alone would keep the Doc's enemies away - even the ones who don't have noses!!!!?!!!

DOCTOR 17: A BENEFITS SCROUNGER

Have you never wondered how Doctor Who can afford to keep his TARDIS running, despite no visible means of support?!??!!!!! Now the truth can be revealed: The Doctor is a benefits scrounger - and thanks to his amazing space-time machine, he's able to scrounge benefits in a hundred different eras at once!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!! It's just one long holiday for Doctor 17!!? Quick: somebody take a photo of him by the pool in Majorca, and send it to The Sun!!!?!!!!!!!

DOCTOR 18: A PRO-EU REMOANER

Like nobody saw this one coming!!!!?!!! Doc 18 is going to be a whining, pro-Europe, remoaner. Fine for him to say - he lives in a TARDIS, and doesn't have to spend his life being squeezed dry by the bureaucrats in Brussels!!! If Europe is so good, Doc, why don't you go and live there permanently?!?!?!!!!!!!! Up yours, Delors!!!?!!

DOCTOR 19: A UTERUS

This is the only logical end point to where the Doctor is headed - he'll eventually end up as a uterus and some ovaries and a Fallopian tube on a tray, travelling around time and space!!!??!!!!!!! This is one time "period" nobody wants the Doctor to visit!!!!?!!!!!!

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58 Comments

Mr Darrel J LAUGHLIN

17/7/2017 09:23:33 am

Fuck me, someone has just swallowed today's Daily Mail.

MENTALIST

17/7/2017 09:39:57 am

Doctor Who?

More like Poe QC, am I right?

Nikki

17/7/2017 10:04:10 am

I've only seen Jodie Whittaker in Black Mirror, so the impression I have of her isn't Doctor-ish at all... but I guess it's all down to the scripts.

I want a grumpy, cantankerous Doctor!

I hated Tennant.

Bring back Tom.

And, good luck Jodie! Here's hoping you're not running away from a monster of the week every single episode, saving the universe because it's the darkest hour, every episode.

Alastair

17/7/2017 01:53:30 pm

Wrong Baker if you want a cranky Doc.

18/7/2017 01:23:29 pm

Good point.

Bring back Cheryl!

Biscuits the oaf

17/7/2017 10:07:30 am

Doctor Who more like bloody Doctor Who is a bird!!!!

Biscuits the unwelcome arse

17/7/2017 10:19:24 am

More like Doctor Would You????!!!! (I bloody would!!!! XD) !!!!!??!!

Jol

17/7/2017 10:23:45 am

I don't know what's worse; the hysterical reaction of the Daily Mail nutjob brigade, or the eager anticipation of the reaction as soon as the announcement was made.

(it's clearly the former that is worse, but all the 'hahaha can't wait to see the DM keyboard warriors losing their shit over this' reactions are a bit too smug)

That uterus looks like a cross between a condom and a facehugger.

Bickywix

17/7/2017 12:08:10 pm

The uterus looks quite cuddly

17/7/2017 02:01:30 pm

I had expected an opposite and equal response, whereby every DM reader response would be met by their opposite number who'll only watch Who now that the Doctor is a woman.

Thankfully in my own online echo chamber, there's only been the sniggering at the DM readers, which is OK.

I don't think the Doctor could be any more lefty or SJW at this stage anyway, I was surprised it took a canonical shift in gender to cause complaints.

Jareth Smith

17/7/2017 10:37:07 am

There's a far right website I read for giggles and snorts called Return of Kings which runs anti-feminism articles all the time. They're hilariously dumb and anachronistic - educated imbeciles who don't know what to do with the knowledge they've gained.

The manosphere will be going mental about this. Liberals are to blame for everything, according to the ridiculous right. So true! Bloody progressivism with its compassion and rationality. Now we have a WOMAN Doctor Who! What next?! BATMAN will be woman! LOL! Bloody leftists are destroying society with their bloody new ideas.

The right

17/7/2017 11:02:35 am

Whenever I see a woman I'm reminded of the fact no women want me, so naturally I prefer male leads etc

Nick

17/7/2017 11:01:51 am

None of those sound as bad as Kris Marshall.

antony

17/7/2017 11:28:23 am

Lol, very good !

Chris

17/7/2017 11:47:14 am

Ho ho! Actually, I think Kris would be a great doctor, if he played it similar to his character in Death in Paradise.

A female doctor wasn't unexpected. I mean, they'd shown the audience it was possible with Missy, and re-iterated she was a regenerated Master in the last episode. So.. it was definitely coming. I wasn't sure it would be now, but it was obviously heading in that direction.

As for Jodie... no opinion, no idea who she is.

Spiney O'Sullivan

17/7/2017 12:52:25 pm

I'm still holding out hope that he'll be the companion. I really liked him in Death in Paradise.

17/7/2017 01:45:47 pm

That said, I wasn't really expecting him to be the Doctor. I had a feeling the next one would be a woman since it was put into the show that Timelords could change gender. And why not, it's not like human biology strictly applies to The Doctor anyway.

Except maybe for the Paul McGann Doctor, who as we all know, is half-human on his mother's side (I assume they changed that in the books or audiobooks, but I never count those...).

Cap Red Dog

17/7/2017 12:21:01 pm

I think the reaction of actual people has been rather muted to be honest, I don't think people care either way as much as the BBC would like. The serious Sci Fi fans who bang on about Canon are far and few between when it comes to New Who and it's CBBC style. People who just hate it being a woman are even rarer.

Either way, I think the vast majority don't see this as anything more than slightly interesting as female sci fi leads has been the norm for about 20 odd years now. I don't think the vast majority think there is either a grand male patriarchy or a move to feminise the planet. People just don't care.

The show will be shite despite the lead as it doesn't matter how good an actor you are, the scripts are utter garbage.

Neptunium

17/7/2017 01:03:55 pm

"I don't think people care either way as much as the BBC would like."

Indeed. I don't think many people care, and I think most of those involved in the kerfuffle (either saying how great it is or how awful it is) probably don't even watch it, nor plan to watch it.

"The show will be shite despite the lead as it doesn't matter how good an actor you are, the scripts are utter garbage."

One worry I have is that if the show tanks the twitter ranks will be calling for the beading of male sci-fi fans because they're all sexist pigs, rather than calling out the poor writing.

RichardM

17/7/2017 02:06:41 pm

Yeah. I don't even understand why they announced it after Wimbledon, could they not just have done it in the Christmas special? A wheezing attempt at breathing life into a burst bellows of a show.

Despite it being a load of rubbish, I like watching new Doctor Who just to see what's up. It's mindless viewing of the "oh yeah" kind. They could have done something great with any of the brilliant actors they've had over the years, but I doubt the equally brilliant female lead will be given anything new and exciting to work with. (Should totally have gone Malcolm Tucker with Capaldi. "I'll stick my f**king screwdriver up your a**e, you c***-sucking Dalek." and etc.)

18/7/2017 09:07:33 pm

I suspect that falling ratings may have led to them not trusting audiences to tune in at Christmas without announcing it early. Or maybe they figured rather than face swathes of "THE BBC RUINED MY CHRISTMAS! MY HUSBAND WAS SO ANGRY HE CHOKED ON A SPROUT!" comments, they'd just bite the bullet now.

Kendall9000

18/7/2017 09:14:46 pm

What are you talking about?

There've been literally several people angry about this on twitter, and not all of them were taking the piss. Surely that's worth at least a few clickbait articles outraged about the outrage?

Jabberwoc

17/7/2017 12:28:22 pm

What next? K9 as a stoat?!!!!!1!!!

17/7/2017 12:53:49 pm

The worst thing about the benefits scrounger Doctor is that he probably picks up the benefits for all his past lives too!!!?!

Broken Britain!!!

David W

17/7/2017 02:18:45 pm

Peanuts compared to the life insurance fraud.

17/7/2017 04:41:35 pm

Not to mention that Gallifrey is basically a tax haven to avoid PAYE. He's no better than Jimmy Carr.

The Doctor doesn't have a fixed address either, so we can add council tax avoidance to the list of grievances.

And he's an immigrant too - a refugee at that! Bloody foreign freeloader. I bet he uses his Tardis to skip NHS waiting lists.

Flim-Flam Stan

17/7/2017 02:25:09 pm

Next thing you know Dr. Who will be calculating time travel in metric! BCE? More like BCF-(off)!

Alternatively: Is a female Doctor Who alone going to be enough to make the series interesting again?

17/7/2017 03:10:05 pm

I lost intrest soon into the Matt Smith incarnation. I tried Peter Capaldi for a few episodes but didn't get on with him either despite loving him as an actor.

Looking back it was probably Steven Moffats work that I didn't like. It seemed alot more clunky and unfocussed than previous Doctors. I never really got on with Moffat (and Mark Gatiss)'s Sherlock despite liking the modern setting and all of the actors. I guess I'm just not a fan of Moffat (and perhaps Mark Gatiss)'s style.

Now he's gone, it could pick up a bit and maybe return to the Russell T glory days.

17/7/2017 04:49:09 pm

Yes, the golden era that gave us Love and Monsters, the Torchwood spin-off, a refusal to let Rose go to the point that one of the series' best moments was totally cheapened later in his run, the utter squandering of the potential of Martha, and a bunch of last-minute deus ex machina endings.

Seriously though, I actually overall really like Rusty and had great fun with the show during his time as showrunner, but his era wasn't perfect. While I love that he saved the show and introduced some great characters, lot of people had valid complaints at the time, and he's ending up being given this retroactive immaculate reputation almost out of spite for his replacement. I'm glad we got the Donna season, but he had definitely come to the end of his tenure towards the end. Similarly, Moffat had mostly used up his bag of timey-wimey tricks (which was, to be fair, a great bag) a while ago, so it's time for him to hand over the reins too.

RunRabbit

18/7/2017 04:47:25 pm

I've noticed a lot of the complaints directed towards Moffat can be equally applied to Davies. I'm beginning to think a lot of the complaints are just general fatigue towards the show in general. Full disclosure, I'm a filthy Moffat fan who actually thinks Capaldi is the best of the new docs but ended up with mostly uninspired, boilerplate scripts.

"The doctor and his companions arrive on space\sea\moon base comprising of mostly corridors, get separated from the TARDIS and must help save the a ragtag group of survivors from a mysterious foe" is a template that's a few decades past its prime now.

Clive Peppard

17/7/2017 05:27:31 pm

Its at time like these that we must remember who the target audience for Dr Who is.

Children, who are kids.

Who gives a monkeys about what middle aged people think about this?

Take Biffo's work, I've seen My Parents Are Aliens and thought it was great but as a 30 something with a receding hairline and extending midriff my opinion is wholly pointless.

My kids on the other hand, their opinion is worth something as they are the target audience (they found the lack of pathos disappointing btw biffster) and if i told them the next doctor who is a woman the reaction would be as follows:

9yo daughter - yay, then she will never watch "cos sci-fi" (i blame her mother

6yo son - can i still watch it with you?

2yo daughter - biscuit daddy?

Wicked Eric

17/7/2017 05:40:47 pm

It's mike and angelo series 11 all over again.

angelo

17/7/2017 07:08:05 pm

What was the controversy there?

17/7/2017 07:19:27 pm

They made mike a girl.

Peanut

18/7/2017 07:55:37 am

I'm going to write a strongly worded letter

17/7/2017 07:24:22 pm

That show's theme tune is to me what the Grange Hill theme is for CBBC viewers.

Nostalgia OD

18/7/2017 09:33:37 am

Wow, I'd forgotten Mike and Angelo,now I'm nostalgiaing over Spatz, Woof!, Knightmare and all the other stuff that placated me in my overly docile youth.

I'm worried about how much of my brain is filled with useless memories of children's TV shows.

GreenScreen

18/7/2017 10:35:52 am

There were 11 series of that show?!? GOOD LORD.

THX 1139

17/7/2017 06:32:53 pm

Jodie starred in a film where she lived in a shed, which is just like living in a TARDIS, so she has the experience for the role in my book.

PS1Snake

17/7/2017 09:49:31 pm

What is a uterus? It looks like a 10p strawberry-scented sweet I used to buy from the ice-cream van at lunchtime.

Jim Leighton (Future World Darts Champion) x

18/7/2017 08:36:57 am

meh, who cares about this non-story? Dr. Who is, has been, and always will be shite.

Col. Asdasd

18/7/2017 09:51:49 am

I'm glad this isn't my hill to die on, what with Doctor Who being shit and all. James Bond is pretty shit too so I won't care when we get our first Jane Bond either.

The wider trend in popular culture is for more and more established white male heroes to be recast as not white and/or not male. I'm broadly in favour, being as bored of gruff white macho man leads by this point as anyone. (Boredometer reading: snoozin' USA).

Politics aside, I'm always a bit put out to see extrinsic pressures beat out intrinsic concerns like canon, because I'm one of those tedious people who cares about the sanctity of canon (note: you probably are too, when it's a story or series you actually care about).

But the custodians of enduringly popular franchises - from comic books to TV shows to films to video games - are already established canon abusers. Retcons and reboots are rife, and often made for less worthy reasons than providing role models for marginalised sections of society.

In an ideal world we'd get new stories and new characters that could be built right from the ground up, rather than just rehashing everything constantly and using band-aids like progressive casting to try and bend increasingly outdated fictions to fit with the progressing moral standards of the day.

But the market is the market and new shit is risky. So today's sequel is tomorrow's prequel and it'll all get rebooted on Thursday. So it goes.

Go out and buy good indie stuff, everyone! Invest in new IP!

Simon

18/7/2017 03:10:04 pm

Sometimes it is funny watching Biffo get triggered!

But this is a problem with writing - Moffat isn't good enough to carry a whole show by himself and the stories have become awful(hence the ratings drop). Fresh blood is needed but apparently Moffat is off so that is welcome news. This will provide a short term ratings boost whatever happens and I am happy for the change personally as it might freshen things up - at the first sign of penis jokes or "we can do things better than men" I am bailing but I am hoping it doesn't come to that

PeskyFletch

19/7/2017 06:21:56 pm

SIMON! SIMON'S BACK EVERYBODY! I missed you simon, superbeast37 was far too po faced and angry. You're the one and only.

Simon's Mum

19/7/2017 08:53:44 pm

He got out of his room and got on the computer again. I'll have to use the bigger chains next time.

Raybies

18/7/2017 04:52:30 pm

Holy hell, Biffo is so pissed about this that there's no new article today!

I've seen far more articles etc complaining about the complainers than actual complainers.

My girlfriend was apoplectic when they shoehorned the announcement into Wimbledon "why do they have to change everything into women?!" Etc.

Because of her attitude, she had previously announced we were not going to see the last Ghostbusters either. Joke's on her, that movie looked shite.

colincidence link

18/7/2017 05:28:19 pm

Does this comment count as an article about a complainer (said girlfriend)?

18/7/2017 06:09:49 pm

Doesn't count, too short to be an article. Could be a sound bite in an article by a some absolute sap, though.

18/7/2017 08:16:13 pm

Just realised that my comment may sound like I was calling Biffo a sap, not so, gentle folk.

Wifebeater Bob

18/7/2017 05:25:26 pm

Well Doctor Who has been mediocre weak sauce tripe in comparison to the 70’s and early 80’s stuff since the BBC resurrected it with Billie Piper etc. I feel sorry for kids today being forced fed such bland dumbed down material. It’s sad as I attribute those old series with getting me into science and sci-fi.

That’s not nostalgia speaking btw, I saw the re-runs of the old stuff on UK Gold about 10 years ago when the BBC brought it back and it was indeed better than the new stuff.

I’m 40 and given that my generation had no issue with a female Star Trek captain or the fact that half the cast of a prime time Sci-Fi Sitcom (Red Dwarf) were black, I don’t believe this pathetic narrative that Millennials are supposedly all a bunch of racists and sexists. Everyone I’ve met of that generation has been a thoroughly decent human being.

I note that stories about young men being up in arms were released within seconds of the announcement and had seemingly been pre-written. All the BBC could muster up in their story were a few milquetoast tweets from WOMEN staying they preferred a male Doctor. Granted I’m sure on a planet of 7bn you can find one guy moaning about it but with the level of effort employed by a BBC “journalist” they couldn’t find anything and my god you can bet they wanted to. I'm just waiting for an upper middle class gender warrior at some loony University to make a burner hotmail account and false flag a death threat to the poor actress now.

The only comments I’ve seen from guys is that the lady is quality spank bank material and they are welcoming her casting. Definitely "objectification" but nah I'm not seeing them object to the casting!

One thing I am not seeing from those virtue signallers who are obsessively pushing false narratives, are statements like “I thought her performance in X was absolutely fantastic. She has particular talents a, b and c and these will be superb for Dr Who because of reasons x, y and z. Instead all they care about is her gender which sounds pretty darn bloody sexist to me. I mean hey she has a v****a and all women are clearly a homogeneous group with no individual characteristics, so as long as the genitals are right, the series will be good. Right?

I do see some talk about how this will be great inspiration for girls. To be honest I think those people need some parenting lessons if it takes a sub par TV series to give their daughters confidence, ambition and self esteem. It isn’t like young girls lack role models. Rather it is young boys who don’t have role models given that a large percentage only see their father once a fortnight and that men in pre-school and primary school teaching are rarer than rocking horse droppings. My GP surgery has a 50/50 gender mix of “real” doctors anyway. So yeah I don’t think poorly written Sci Fi shows should be compensating for poor parenting.

Given that all I’m hearing is “gender” and attempts at gender and race baiting, but very few detailed comments with specifics explaining why she is great for the role (which isn't the same thing as whether she is a good actress), I am not filled with confidence. I suspect that the initial few episodes will get high audience figures but once the curiosity has worn off I can see the ratings sinking to an all-time low.

They may suffer from the same problem as Marvel – they got so obsessed with Identity Politics and attacking a fantasy non-existent army of “racist sexist homophobes” that they forgot to write some good stories for their new “diverse” characters and their sales bombed.

As with Marvels failings, if the new Dr Who doesn’t do well it will be blamed on “everyone is sexist” rather than “we made a load of sh*te”. Well at least if you are the BBC you can produce sh*te and will still get paid.

18/7/2017 09:44:28 pm

I bet if social media and outrage culture had been around in the days of Voyager and DS9 there'd have been plenty of material for "journalists" to stir up a kerfuffle.

There were bound to be a few idiots who made "PC gone mad" arguments back then when they found out that the commanding officer wasn't a white man. The difference is that nobody compiled them into drama fuelling "Trekkies are racist/sexist" clickbait articles.

It is funny how half the negative comments about the lady Doctor seem to have come from women, yet the "male fans are sexist" narrative still gets pushed.

Looking up the "outraged" tweets, it was pretty obvious that some of them were just trolling/sarcasm rather than real upset over a woman in the role "ruining their childhood". It's the same story with a lot of similarly manufactured outrages over one thing or another.

All but a tiny minority of bigots will accept a diverse cast as long as they're telling a decent story. Hopefully the new Doctor Who will focus on that, and not make it all about the actor's gender in some cringe-inducingly smug and preachy way. That's what actually would turn people against the show and her casting.

19/7/2017 06:27:55 pm

The marvel thing isn't so cut and dried as you make out http://www.cbr.com/no-diversity-didnt-kill-marvels-comic-sales/

18/7/2017 05:49:29 pm

Guess this isn't the place to say I like Doctor Who and don't fear change in it. Captain Kirk turned into a woman too, and that was in the 1960s. OK, that episode really was shite, but I can still claim the moral high ground.

Starbuck

19/7/2017 07:21:19 pm

I'm with you, Lucas!

daza

18/7/2017 11:29:38 pm

So does she like the BOYS now?

Random Reviewer

22/7/2017 06:11:45 pm

She's been acting since she was a teenager - holding her own against Peter O'Toole in Venus. She managed a decent American accent and gave a solid performance in US network TV show The Agents. She also gave a great supporting turn in Attack The Block. Hasn't been in anything massive, but she's experienced beyond her years and will absolutely fly if given decent scripts.

A kid called Dave

24/7/2017 01:27:31 pm

I was gonna get my knickers in a twist of righteous fury but then realised I don't even watch Doctor Who on grounds of it being rather silly.

25/7/2017 06:13:05 pm

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/news/doctor-who-jodie-whittaker-female-time-lord-bbc-steven-moffat-peter-capaldi-christmas-special-a7856451.html

I guess that's the end of the story. Moffat calls out the fake news.

NOW THAT DOCTOR WHO IS A WOMAN: WHAT'S NEXT?!

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