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NINTENDO'S WEIRDEST PATENT APPLICATONS

8/10/2018

10 Comments

 
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Look: Nintendo's latest patent appears to show some sort of housing for transforming a smartphone into a classic Game Boy. It's entirely possible that this is how Nintendo intends to exploit its handheld back catalogue, rather than release an entirely standalone Game Boy mini thing.

Or maybe it'll never come out.

You see, Nintendo has a long history of filing patents which never see the light of day. Some of the patents are more peculiar than others. Break out the "razzers", kids: this is a celebration of the latter!
3D MOTION TRACKING
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One of Nintendo's long-term obsessions has been 3D visuals. From the Virtual Boy to the 3DS, the company has been determined to perfect a comfortable way of viewing 3D graphics. This patent was for a 3D system which used eye tracking, which could've create a 3D effect on a conventional 2D display.  

It's a relatively recent patent, so it may yet come to pass that you'll be able to see the uncoordinated miniature American football players doing Y.M.C.A.

If you'd like to understand more, here's an extract from the patent application: 

"A projection method in which an inclined plane with respect to a plane that is parallel to a plane including a left eye viewpoint and a right eye viewpoint and is a common tangent plane of the right eye cornea and the left eye cornea is set as a projection plane and an image is projected such that geometric image distortion is reduced as viewed from a user's viewpoint, the projection method performed using a controller that generates a control signal in accordance with a user's operation, the projection method comprising: (a) projecting an image on the projection plane, the step of projecting including projecting a first test image including a vertical reference line for defining a vertical direction in the image and projecting a second test image including a horizontal reference line for defining a horizontal direction in the image; (b) measuring a three-dimensional shape of the projection plane; (c) (1A) performing correction processing, which is image conversion processing, on the first test image based on the three-dimensional shape data measured by the step (b) such that geometric image distortion is reduced as viewed from a first point, which is a point that passes through a projection center point, which is an intersection of a projection axis for projecting the image in the step (a) and the projection plane, the first point being on a normal line of the projection plane, (2A) determining a first rotation angle in accordance with the control signal and perform rotation processing, which is image conversion processing, on the first test image after the correction processing such that the image projected on the projection plane, which is obtained by projecting the first test image after the correction processing by the step (a), appears to be an image obtained by rotating the projected image by the first rotation angle around the projection center point as viewed from the first point to the projection plane, (1B) performing correction processing, which is image conversion processing, on the second test image based on the three-dimensional shape data measured by the step (b) such that geometric image distortion is reduced as viewed from a first point, which is a point that passes through a projection center point, which is an intersection of a projection axis for projecting the image in the step (a) and the projection plane, the first point being on a normal line of the projection plane, (2B) determining a second rotation angle in accordance with the control signal and perform rotation processing, which is image conversion processing, on the second test image after the correction processing such that the image projected on the projection plane, which is obtained by projecting the second test image after the correction processing by the step (a), appears to be an image obtained by rotating the projected image by the second rotation angle around the projection center point as viewed from the first point to the projection plane, and (3) identifying, based on a first straight line that is a straight line including the vertical reference line, on the projection plane, that is in the first test image after the first rotation processing and a second straight line that is a straight line including the horizontal reference line, on the projection plane, that is in the second test image after the first rotation processing, a viewpoint candidate point from which the first straight line appears to be orthogonal to the second straight line, and performing viewpoint identification processing that converts an image to be projected on the projection plane such that geometric distortion of the image is reduced as viewed from the identified viewpoint candidate point."

That's one sentence. FFS, Nintendo.
TOUCHSCREEN CONTROLLER
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Nintendo filed this patent during the development of the Switch - or NX as it was then known (short for "Not eXactly") - leading to speculation that the system's controllers would be all touchscreen. It was rumoured that Nintendo was working with Sharp on whatever this was. It would've been part of a modular unit, and would slot into a standard controller housing (a bit like the way the Switch controllers can be housed). 

Either way, look at the little fellow on the screen. I don't know who he is, or what game he's in, but I want to see more of his whimsical woodland wandering!
MULTI-SCREEN GAME DISPLAY
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Interestingly, this patent appears to have come to pass in the last week, with the new Mario Party being playable by lining multiple Switches next to one another on a tabletop, or the deck of a sailing "vessel". 

However, what makes this image interesting is the banana. Nintendo chose to demonstrate this clever technology by suggesting it could be used to create the world's simplest jigsaw puzzle. Or maybe they're planning a game called Donkey Kong's Banana Rub, or something.
U-SHAPED CONTROLLER
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This was a “Training Implement, Training System, and Input Device”. In short, it would've been a kind of resistance exercise aid - with the user attempting to bring the two edges of the magnet-shaped device towards one another. You know: like one of those "wrist trainer" things for people who really want thick, muscular, wrists. 

"My, what bulging risks you have, Geoffrey...!"

"All the better to make gestures with."

POINTING LAMPSHADE... AROMATHERAPY... THING?
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Contrary to appearances, this was neither a fancy nightlight, nor Nintendo's attempt to update the zoetrope. It appears to be a sort of Amiibo-type unit thing; the base (12) would detect objects (220) placed on top of it.

There would be some sort of camera on the base which would read the user's hand movements, and... I dunno... do stuff. Additionally, a tablet-like device could be placed atop the base, making it a personal assistant display system, with motion controls. In short; a cross between Amiibo, Alexa, and a Switch. 
CEILING PROJECTION NONSENSE
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This is a sleep monitor, capable of detecting the sleeping user's pulse, temperature, and other biometric data, and could "assesses the user's emotions on the basis of the sensor information". The results would then be projected as above.

Because, frankly, who doesn't want to wake up with the words "YOU'RE DEPRESSED" emblazoned on their bedroom ceiling?
ROAMING THOMAS
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It would appear that Nintendo was looking to branch out into the field of robotics when it filed this patent last year for a "passive walking device". There are possible medical applications - which was shown in a number of different configurations.

​Alternatively, maybe Nintendo wants to bring back its Robotic Operated Buddy, but this time untether it from the console, and have it roaming around your home, searching through your cupboards and drawers (knickers). 
WII AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONTROLLER
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A simple enough idea - an American football-shaped Wii controller - and one which made it to market, courtesy of CTA Digital. However, Nintendo had filed a patent a year earlier for a very similar product. Which, ultimately, it never released. 

Once again, the most interesting thing about this patent is the sketches included with it, such as the one above which appears to show a gentleman attempting to appease an angry Muppet by performing some sort of chorus line-style dance routine.
TRADING CARDS
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The a patent for a set of trading cards which work exactly like Amiibo figures. What's most interesting isn't that they came to pass, but the characters depicted on the cards. Move over, Mario - I demand that Nintendo release a game featuring "John", "Beth" and "Mike"!
MOTION CONTROLS
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It's pretty clear what this Wii U-era patent wanted to do. What's less clear is that Nintendo decided that you would play the game by making "wanker" gestures at it. 
WII ACCESSORIES
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Nintendo has long been obsessed with getting its users moving, and this patent advocated taking the Wiimote out of the house, by shoving it into skateboards and bicycles. Presumably, data recorded by the Wiimote would've then been used on-screen in some way.

I dunno about you, but I wouldn't have felt particularly confident performing my "ollies" and "mongos" with a Wiimote shoved into the wheels of my board. 
MORE WII ACCESSORIES
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Interestingly, the Wiimote was also considered as the grip of a classic Zapper-style gun (before Nintendo released that horrible version, which felt as robust as a pocket money toy "spy gun" you'd pluck off the rotating rack at your local newsagents). Doubly interesting is that the Wiimote was also considered to simulate the intestines of a teddy bear. Triply interesting is the placement of the gun and bear in this patent image. 

"Approve this patent, or the bear gets it..."
N64 RUMBLE PAK
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It's weird to think that rumble features were once not integral to controllers. You may recall the release of the N64 Rumble Pak, which plugged into the anus of the N64 controller. It was dismissed as gimmicky upon release, but it has become an industry standard - making it one of Nintendo's less-heralded pioneering achievements. 

Nintendo filed the patent in Japan in 1997, but didn't get around to doing the same in the USA until a year or so later. It was later made public on August 23rd 2001, around three weeks before the attacks on the World Trade Centre.

We can't be sure that Nintendo directly inspired the 9/11 attacks, but... well... the image above, included in the patent application, speaks for itself.
WII SADDLE
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The Wii was not short of stupid Wiimote accessories, but - had Nintendo gone ahead with it - this absurd inflatable saddle could've taken the prize as the stupidest. As awkward as it looks to use, I'm most intrigued by the person in figure 1A. He appears to have the proportions of a child, yet is sporting a receding hairline. And wearing some sort of all-in-one romper suit. 

I admit to finding him a little creepy. The way he's squatting on his inflatable cushion, he 's reminds me of a 1960s Star Trek villain. 
10 Comments
Grembot
8/10/2018 10:25:56 am

Turning your phone into a Gameboy makes sense in a Nintendo sort of way. They can have a Gameboy app and flog you the games at an inflated price, alternatively the games could be free if you have Nintendo’s online thing but you’d have to buy the case for £50.

A mini Gameboy doesn’t make sense, it’d be too small to play or the proportions would be off and scofflaws would be able to put games on it for free, the little scamps.

Reply
Mathew H.
8/10/2018 11:38:31 am

Hyperkin's Smartboy turns compatible smartphones into a Game Boy. It features controls and a cartridge slot.

Reply
Grembot
8/10/2018 11:57:32 am

Yeah but that doesn’t make Nintendo any money, they like to make money because they’re a business.

Sordid Fancy Daniel
8/10/2018 10:58:07 am

John Beth and Mike Party NOW

Reply
MENTALIST
8/10/2018 11:01:05 am

I never realised that Nintendo were planning to get into the sybian market.

(The things you find out about when you're prone to typos, when looking up mobile operating systems on Wikipedia).

Reply
colincidence link
8/10/2018 02:14:49 pm

Having the proportions of a child and a receding hairline was already patented by me.

Reply
Jim Leighton (Future World Darts Champion) x
8/10/2018 02:55:33 pm

That N64 Rumble Pak picture...………….. not real right? I mean...…… haha and not so haha at the same time...……….. Nintendo Japanese for Nostradamus is it?

Reply
David Heslop
8/10/2018 03:49:30 pm

That extract from the patent application reads like the opening credits crawl from the beginning of The Phantom Menace.

Reply
Robobob
8/10/2018 07:56:15 pm

That bear sort of looks like he's trying to smuggle stuff through customs in his stomach.

Also, the U-bend peripheral looks GREAT!!!!

Reply
AcidBeard
10/10/2018 09:14:46 pm

If you look closely at the Touchscreen Controller patent you'll notice that they are intending to bolt your thumbs to screen. You can touch the screen but you can never untouch it.

Reply



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