Nintendo might not be what it was, but few would argue that it isn't still one of the best and most pure video games companies in the world.
However, Nintendo has done much to paper over some of the less glorious chapters in its history, which include a number of somewhat seedy missteps, rip-offs of other, more successful, products, and near financial ruin.
As we are all aware, the real history of Nintendo begins in 1981. Here's everything you need to know about the century or so before that...
However, Nintendo has done much to paper over some of the less glorious chapters in its history, which include a number of somewhat seedy missteps, rip-offs of other, more successful, products, and near financial ruin.
As we are all aware, the real history of Nintendo begins in 1981. Here's everything you need to know about the century or so before that...
1889 to 1966 - Get a load of this: Nintendo's founder Fusajiro Yamaguchi would play card games illegally as a young man. You read that correctly: Nintendo (whose name even alludes to the Japanese gangster syndicate the Yakuza) was established by a self-confessed criminal.
When the Japanese government eventually allowed the sale of hafanuda (or "flower") cards - which featured pictures, rather than numbers (thus making gambling tricky) - Yamaguchi formed his own company to sell them.
This continued to be Nintendo's main business until the 1960s - getting a boost in the late 1950s when it secured a lucrative license to sell cards featuring images of Disney characters, such as Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Buntu Baboon and Oy-Oy-Oy-Oyster.
However, when sales wobbled, Nintendo reflected the wobbliness in the most literal way imaginable: by selling cards featuring partially-nuddy ladies with their boobie-woobies out.
When the Japanese government eventually allowed the sale of hafanuda (or "flower") cards - which featured pictures, rather than numbers (thus making gambling tricky) - Yamaguchi formed his own company to sell them.
This continued to be Nintendo's main business until the 1960s - getting a boost in the late 1950s when it secured a lucrative license to sell cards featuring images of Disney characters, such as Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Buntu Baboon and Oy-Oy-Oy-Oyster.
However, when sales wobbled, Nintendo reflected the wobbliness in the most literal way imaginable: by selling cards featuring partially-nuddy ladies with their boobie-woobies out.
1960s - With playing cards deemed a business that had limited potential, even if they did feature breasts on them, Nintendo sought to expand into other areas. An initially successful taxi business soon faltered, and was followed by forays into television, food products (see the instant rice cooker below), and even nuder playing cards.
Following the 1964 Tokyo Olympics, Nintendo's stock plummeted to its lowest ever level, and the company quite literally relieved itself in its trousers.
Following the 1964 Tokyo Olympics, Nintendo's stock plummeted to its lowest ever level, and the company quite literally relieved itself in its trousers.
1960s - Astonishingly, a desperate Nintendo opened a seedy love hotel sometime in the early-60s. This discreet, drop-in establishment was used by amorous couples and prostitutes to snatch a quick hour of rudies.
History does not recall whether the hotel was called The Mushroom Kingdom, Star Road, Vanilla Dome, Chocolate Island, Bean Valley, or Princess Peach's Castle.
History does not recall whether the hotel was called The Mushroom Kingdom, Star Road, Vanilla Dome, Chocolate Island, Bean Valley, or Princess Peach's Castle.
1966 - Finally, in 1966, Nintendo released the product that became its first big hit - which paved the way for the family-orientated business it would eventually become.
The Ultra Hand, an extendable grabber which could be utilised to snatch wallets or tweak buttocks - was created by Nintendo's Gunpei Yokoi. Of course, Yokoi would go on to be known as the genius behind Game & Watch and the Game Boy.
Yokoi would later describe his philosophy as "Lateral Thinking of Withered Technology" or something - finding radical ways to use technology that was cheap and easily understood.
The Ultra Hand, an extendable grabber which could be utilised to snatch wallets or tweak buttocks - was created by Nintendo's Gunpei Yokoi. Of course, Yokoi would go on to be known as the genius behind Game & Watch and the Game Boy.
Yokoi would later describe his philosophy as "Lateral Thinking of Withered Technology" or something - finding radical ways to use technology that was cheap and easily understood.
1967 - Nintendo's next toy was the Ultra Machine - a device for flinging eggs at baseball players. Nintendo would briefly flirt with resurrecting its "Ultra" brand when considering names for what became the Nintendo 64 console.
1969 - Nintendo didn't entirely leave adult audiences behind, however. In 1969 it released a Lie/Love Tester, designed to test a couple's "Strength of love for each other"; couples would smash one another over the head with the device to test whether their love survived.
1973 - In the early-70s, Nintendo started experimenting with gaming technology. Its first such product, the Laser Clay Shooting System, was conceived by eventual Nintendo president Hiroshi Yamaguchi - who believed that it was only artists rather than technicians who could create truly excellent games.
Unfortunately, the 1973 oil crisis impacted on sales of the system - and Nintendo found almost all of its orders cancelled, severely damaging Nintendo's profits. Nintendo was so heavily in debt as a result, it would take them seven years to pay back what it owed.
A smaller version of the technology was targeted at arcades, and was sufficiently successful that it gave Nintendo a new direction that no longer needed to include love hotels, lewd card games or buttock-grabbers.
Unfortunately, the 1973 oil crisis impacted on sales of the system - and Nintendo found almost all of its orders cancelled, severely damaging Nintendo's profits. Nintendo was so heavily in debt as a result, it would take them seven years to pay back what it owed.
A smaller version of the technology was targeted at arcades, and was sufficiently successful that it gave Nintendo a new direction that no longer needed to include love hotels, lewd card games or buttock-grabbers.
1974 - Wild Gunman (and the later Shooting Trainer) used a scaled-down version of Nintendo's Laser Clay Shooting System.
Full motion video of cowboys would be projected onto a screen, and players would have to draw their shooter when their opponent's eyes flashed - just like in the Old West!
Nintendo later released a version of Wild Gunman for the NES/Famicom, which also featured in an iconic moment in the movie Back to the Future Part II.
"That's like a baby's toy!"
"No - you're like a baby's toy!"
Full motion video of cowboys would be projected onto a screen, and players would have to draw their shooter when their opponent's eyes flashed - just like in the Old West!
Nintendo later released a version of Wild Gunman for the NES/Famicom, which also featured in an iconic moment in the movie Back to the Future Part II.
"That's like a baby's toy!"
"No - you're like a baby's toy!"
1977 - Nintendo continued to produce coin-ops, though their success trailed behind its rivals. Battle Shark improved the technology of its earlier light gun games, placing the player in the role of a submarine gunner. Literature produced at the time described the game featuring "terrific explosions". Though, try describing explosions as "terrific" to anyone who has ever been exploded.
1977 - Seeing the way that the industry was heading, Nintendo finally chose to enter the home TV games market in 1977. Its first console was the Color TV-Game 6. As was the way of the time, it featured no fewer than six unlicensed variations on Atari's Pong, each more pointless than the last.
1977 - Released the same year as the TV-Game 6, the TV-Game 15 upped the ante with removable controllers, and - yes - 15 more "spins" on Pong. Do you see? It was a funny play on words.
1978 - Nintendo branched out from Pong in 1978, with its Color TV-Game Racing 112. Rather than pong, this ambitious system boasted a number of top-down racing games.
Though it featured a built-in steering wheel and gearstick, two players could compete against one another using the smaller, detachable controllers. These replaced the steering wheel with what we shall describe as a "nubbin".
Though it featured a built-in steering wheel and gearstick, two players could compete against one another using the smaller, detachable controllers. These replaced the steering wheel with what we shall describe as a "nubbin".
1978 - Nintendo may have been trying to break into people's homes, but it hadn't forgotten the arcades. Computer Othello was its first proper video arcade game, and - as the name suggests - it was a version of the boring board game Othello.
"Or goodbye" as the popular wits of the day would call it.
"Or goodbye" as the popular wits of the day would call it.
1979 - Nintendo continued to produce video arcade games. Monkey Magic was nothing more than a Breakout rip-off, but had the distinction of being the first Nintendo game to feature a type of monkey: specifically, a cheeky monkey. In a hat.
1979 - And speaking of Breakout, Nintendo continued to squirt out home consoles at the rate of one or more a year, challenging the integrity of its potential customer base.
Its Color TV-Game Block Breaker was a clone of the Atari smash, and is notable for being the first project worked on by Shigeru Miyamoto. The Nintendo legend designed the system's orange casing; just peel it open to get at the sweet fruit inside.
Its Color TV-Game Block Breaker was a clone of the Atari smash, and is notable for being the first project worked on by Shigeru Miyamoto. The Nintendo legend designed the system's orange casing; just peel it open to get at the sweet fruit inside.
1980 - Nintendo's final machine in its Computer TV-Game series featured a perfect recreation of its earlier Computer Othello arcade game.
This was achieved by simply including the arcade game's main circuit board, and an original copy of William Shakespeare's Othello manuscript. Unfortunately, this meant that Computer TV-Game was big, heavy and expensive - and consequently sold poorly.
Its next home system would be the Famicom/NES.
This was achieved by simply including the arcade game's main circuit board, and an original copy of William Shakespeare's Othello manuscript. Unfortunately, this meant that Computer TV-Game was big, heavy and expensive - and consequently sold poorly.
Its next home system would be the Famicom/NES.
1980 - Hellfire is the work of a company on the cusp of greatness.
Success in the game would treat players to the appearance of a dancing girl in a grass skirt, and featured sound by Hirokazu "Hip" Tanaka who would later create scores for Tetris, Super Mario Land, Metroid, and other Nintendo classics.
It's an unremarkable arcade game save for the fact it's the final Nintendo arcade release before everything changed with Donkey Kong and the Game & Watch series. Within a year, Nintendo would itself be treated to a special performance from "The Dancer of the Isles"...
Success in the game would treat players to the appearance of a dancing girl in a grass skirt, and featured sound by Hirokazu "Hip" Tanaka who would later create scores for Tetris, Super Mario Land, Metroid, and other Nintendo classics.
It's an unremarkable arcade game save for the fact it's the final Nintendo arcade release before everything changed with Donkey Kong and the Game & Watch series. Within a year, Nintendo would itself be treated to a special performance from "The Dancer of the Isles"...
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