According to my parents, I first saw Star Wars during a family summer holiday.
Yet, according to my brain, my dad first took me to see Star Wars one night after school, on a warm, early summer, evening, and I distinctly remember being in my school uniform.
Both of these vague dates chime with what I'd believed was Star Wars' release date of June-ish 1977 (it was in fact released in America on May 25th that year, and I'd always thought we'd gotten it a month or so later).
Either way, both sets of memories can't be right; either they've got it wrong, or I've got it wrong. My money had been on them getting it wrong because, frankly, they're old, and Star Wars didn't have the same sort of impact on them as it did me. Plus, I want to believe that what I remember is the truth.
In fact... it isn't. And neither is their version: both are wrong.
Star Wars didn't open in the UK until December 27th 1977 - and even then it was only in two cinemas in central London, and it stayed that way for a month or two. I've learned this troubling, foundation-rattling, truth from a book entitled The Star Wars Phenomenon in Britain, by one Craig Stevens.
It has upended everything I thought I knew about my life with Star Wars, and has confirmed that much of what I remember about Star Wars is merely the American version of its history.
The film didn't really start rolling out in the UK until early 1978. Some areas didn't get it for another ten months, while it had a staggered release from January onwards. Having dug into my local newspaper archives, I've since learned that it opened in what was then my local cinema on February 5th 1978 - which was the earliest I could've possibly seen it.
Now I'm questioning everything.
Yet, according to my brain, my dad first took me to see Star Wars one night after school, on a warm, early summer, evening, and I distinctly remember being in my school uniform.
Both of these vague dates chime with what I'd believed was Star Wars' release date of June-ish 1977 (it was in fact released in America on May 25th that year, and I'd always thought we'd gotten it a month or so later).
Either way, both sets of memories can't be right; either they've got it wrong, or I've got it wrong. My money had been on them getting it wrong because, frankly, they're old, and Star Wars didn't have the same sort of impact on them as it did me. Plus, I want to believe that what I remember is the truth.
In fact... it isn't. And neither is their version: both are wrong.
Star Wars didn't open in the UK until December 27th 1977 - and even then it was only in two cinemas in central London, and it stayed that way for a month or two. I've learned this troubling, foundation-rattling, truth from a book entitled The Star Wars Phenomenon in Britain, by one Craig Stevens.
It has upended everything I thought I knew about my life with Star Wars, and has confirmed that much of what I remember about Star Wars is merely the American version of its history.
The film didn't really start rolling out in the UK until early 1978. Some areas didn't get it for another ten months, while it had a staggered release from January onwards. Having dug into my local newspaper archives, I've since learned that it opened in what was then my local cinema on February 5th 1978 - which was the earliest I could've possibly seen it.
Now I'm questioning everything.
FEB THE 5th BE WITH YOU
Of course, there's a chance that I did wait months more to see Star Wars, though that seems unlikely. I remember the moment I first became aware of it, from a report on what was probably the Saturday morning TV show TISWAS (though that, like the rest of my memories, can no longer be trusted).
I ran into the kitchen to tell my mum about this new film that was definitely going to be the best film ever, and the person on the telly said it had everything - robots, action, aliens, romance, jokes - and can we please go and see it when it comes out...?!
My mother did her best to humour me, and I doubt I would've had the patience to wait until the following summer.
I'm pretty certain I did go to see it on a family holiday - we didn't have home video back then, so Star Wars stayed in cinemas for a good long while. I think I saw it at least half a dozen times before The Empire Strikes Back came out. Though now... who knows?
I had remembered going to an unfamiliar cinema with my mum and my best friend's family, who'd come on holiday with us, forgetting my glasses, and having to watch the film with blurry vision. It didn't matter because I was already so familiar with the images by that point I could fill in the detail. That's why I'd always doubted my parents' version of events; I didn't need to be able to see Star Wars to see Star Wars.
I can recall going up to London and seeing the huge, illuminated, poster for the film above the marquee of what Craig Stevens' book tells me was the Dominion in Tottenham Court Road (now a theatre that many remember for its massive Freddie Mercury statue during the endless run of We Will Rock You). I know we never went in, and - again - I think I already had seen the film by that point anyway. Again, my memory here is iffy, because I know that part of London well, but - as a six year-old unfamiliar with London - my mind had placed it somewhere else entirely.
Given the new information, I must've seen Star Wars relatively soon after it released in my local picture house - within the next ten days after release, at least.
Star Wars Weekly Issue 1 came out three days later, on February 8th, so the book tells me, and I remember getting it, because I was disappointed with the cardboard X-Wing that came as a free gift with the first issue. To my mind, it looked nothing like the one I'd seen in the film (a foreshadowing of the pedantry that would plague my Star Wars fan-mind). That means I must've, most likely, seen it before February 15th 1978, which is when Issue 2 would've been released.
Of course, none of this is really important to anybody but myself, but given how important Star Wars was to me as a kid - I mean, it absolutely defined my childhood - it's something I need to give context to.
Of course, there's a chance that I did wait months more to see Star Wars, though that seems unlikely. I remember the moment I first became aware of it, from a report on what was probably the Saturday morning TV show TISWAS (though that, like the rest of my memories, can no longer be trusted).
I ran into the kitchen to tell my mum about this new film that was definitely going to be the best film ever, and the person on the telly said it had everything - robots, action, aliens, romance, jokes - and can we please go and see it when it comes out...?!
My mother did her best to humour me, and I doubt I would've had the patience to wait until the following summer.
I'm pretty certain I did go to see it on a family holiday - we didn't have home video back then, so Star Wars stayed in cinemas for a good long while. I think I saw it at least half a dozen times before The Empire Strikes Back came out. Though now... who knows?
I had remembered going to an unfamiliar cinema with my mum and my best friend's family, who'd come on holiday with us, forgetting my glasses, and having to watch the film with blurry vision. It didn't matter because I was already so familiar with the images by that point I could fill in the detail. That's why I'd always doubted my parents' version of events; I didn't need to be able to see Star Wars to see Star Wars.
I can recall going up to London and seeing the huge, illuminated, poster for the film above the marquee of what Craig Stevens' book tells me was the Dominion in Tottenham Court Road (now a theatre that many remember for its massive Freddie Mercury statue during the endless run of We Will Rock You). I know we never went in, and - again - I think I already had seen the film by that point anyway. Again, my memory here is iffy, because I know that part of London well, but - as a six year-old unfamiliar with London - my mind had placed it somewhere else entirely.
Given the new information, I must've seen Star Wars relatively soon after it released in my local picture house - within the next ten days after release, at least.
Star Wars Weekly Issue 1 came out three days later, on February 8th, so the book tells me, and I remember getting it, because I was disappointed with the cardboard X-Wing that came as a free gift with the first issue. To my mind, it looked nothing like the one I'd seen in the film (a foreshadowing of the pedantry that would plague my Star Wars fan-mind). That means I must've, most likely, seen it before February 15th 1978, which is when Issue 2 would've been released.
Of course, none of this is really important to anybody but myself, but given how important Star Wars was to me as a kid - I mean, it absolutely defined my childhood - it's something I need to give context to.
THE MEMORY-LOSS STRIKES BACK
I was a little older by the time The Empire Strikes Back was released, and I've much more reliable memories of going; it was with the same family friends as we'd been on holiday with, and my mate Stuart and I came home and re-enacted the climactic lightsaber duel using action figures and Lego.
Similarly, my memory of Return of the Jedi is pretty vivid, because that time I did see it in Central London; my sister's husband took me to see it at the Odeon Marble Arch (I remember seeing the arch). The queue stretched around the block, and it was the first time I ever felt like I was surrounded by other like-minded obsessives.
I recall coming home and trying to process it all, staring out of the living room window. My sister said I looked as if I was "in love", but it was more coming to terms with there never being another Star Wars film. The journey was over.
So I thought.
What's weird is there's only one Star Wars film I have no real vivid memory of seeing for the first time; Attack of the Clones.
The Phantom Menace I saw early in the morning of release, having promised TV's Steve "Horsenburger" Horsely I'd see it first with him later that evening.
I couldn't wait, so I turned up to my local at breakfast time, with a handful of other deluded souls - a couple of them waving lightsabers, and shouting a self-conscious "May The Force be with us!" before the film got underway. I also remember coming out of the screening that evening with Steve, and us both trying to convince ourselves it wasn't awful.
For Revenge of the Sith I'd bought tickets to the world premiere, which was a fan event that started at 7am, ran through all six films in the order they were made, and was attended by George Lucas and the cast. The Force Awakens, Rogue One, The Last Jedi and Solo are obviously much more recent, and for all of them I went to 10am-ish showings with my wife.
But it says it all that I remember the least about the most forgettable of Star Wars films. Who knows where and when I saw Attack of the Clones?
Frankly... who cares anyway?
I was a little older by the time The Empire Strikes Back was released, and I've much more reliable memories of going; it was with the same family friends as we'd been on holiday with, and my mate Stuart and I came home and re-enacted the climactic lightsaber duel using action figures and Lego.
Similarly, my memory of Return of the Jedi is pretty vivid, because that time I did see it in Central London; my sister's husband took me to see it at the Odeon Marble Arch (I remember seeing the arch). The queue stretched around the block, and it was the first time I ever felt like I was surrounded by other like-minded obsessives.
I recall coming home and trying to process it all, staring out of the living room window. My sister said I looked as if I was "in love", but it was more coming to terms with there never being another Star Wars film. The journey was over.
So I thought.
What's weird is there's only one Star Wars film I have no real vivid memory of seeing for the first time; Attack of the Clones.
The Phantom Menace I saw early in the morning of release, having promised TV's Steve "Horsenburger" Horsely I'd see it first with him later that evening.
I couldn't wait, so I turned up to my local at breakfast time, with a handful of other deluded souls - a couple of them waving lightsabers, and shouting a self-conscious "May The Force be with us!" before the film got underway. I also remember coming out of the screening that evening with Steve, and us both trying to convince ourselves it wasn't awful.
For Revenge of the Sith I'd bought tickets to the world premiere, which was a fan event that started at 7am, ran through all six films in the order they were made, and was attended by George Lucas and the cast. The Force Awakens, Rogue One, The Last Jedi and Solo are obviously much more recent, and for all of them I went to 10am-ish showings with my wife.
But it says it all that I remember the least about the most forgettable of Star Wars films. Who knows where and when I saw Attack of the Clones?
Frankly... who cares anyway?
QUESTION YOUR FEELINGS
The point of all this is that I'm now questioning everything. Star Wars hadn't just been about Star Wars for me; the films, and so many memories associated with them, work as a series of footholds through my childhood. I don't just remember, say, getting a new Star Wars action figure... I remember everything around it.
Like seeing an ad in Star Wars Weekly for the new Star Wars toys and getting excited because I thought they were "bendy people" (pre-action figures, I was big into my "bendy people"). On summer holidays I had a little fold-out table that I would take around with me so that I could have somewhere to play with my "bendy people" that wouldn't get sand on them.
Because I hate sand; it gets everywhere.
I remember my mum presenting me with my first action figure (Chewbacca), and playing with him on my parents' bed. I remember the old bathroom stool which I'd always appropriate as a Star Destroyer. I remember stealing my sisters' Mastermind game, disassembling it, and using the pieces as the walls of the Cantina.
I remember the sledge my brother-in-law built for me, and turning it into an X-Wing cockpit (frankly, most things in our house ended up becoming something from Star Wars sooner or later).
I remember the time my parents were thinking of moving house. We went with them to view some new homes, and in one of them a boy had spread all of his action figures out on the living room carpet, and he had a Sand Person - the one figure I didn't own. I asked my mum to ask his mum where he got it.
Weirdly, we took a look in one of the bedrooms and one of them had some sleeping woman in one of the beds. And the house smelled funny.
We never ended up moving.
BELGIUM
I remember when my dad came back off Territorial Army manoeuvres and brought an X-Wing back with him from "Belgium" (he later admitted he'd bought it from the local Debenhams, which had the best toy department in the world, and also once played host to a promotional visit from Darth Vader). I remember when we couldn't find Star Wars wallpaper for my bedroom, so I had to make do with wallpaper for Disney's The Black Hole.
Which was still up on my walls when I was 16.
I remember "being" Han Solo in my middle school playground on a particularly icy lunchtime, because my Parka jacket had the right sort of hood. I remember around the same time - in that same playground - getting annoyed with a boy called Derek Douglas (who had once been an extra in an episode of Hammer House of Horror) for thinking that Yoda lived on a planet with Darth Vader. He didn't understand the concept of Force visions ffs.
I never understood those who didn't share on engage with Star Wars like I did. It was, for many in my family, what defined the young me. So much so that cousins still talk about my Star Wars obsession when they see me.
It was everything, and so its roots are entwined with everything else that happened in my life between 1977 and 1983. To find out that some of those memories are unreliable has shaken me in a way I'm struggling to get to grips with. How much of what I remember is distorted? How much of it is outright wrong?
Did I really go to see Blade Runner, because Han Solo was in it, wearing what I think was my sister's turtleneck sweater in a bid to look older (it was rated 'AA', roughly equivalent to a '15')? Did I really strap a washing-up liquid bottle to my back and stomp around pretending to be a Stormtrooper? Did I really get given a 12-inch Luke because I'd been a brave boy when I'd had my tooth extracted? Did I really freeze Han Solo in a cup of water, and then drop it, and his arm snapped off?
Did I really meet Boba Fett - wearing what was obviously a screen-used costume - in a toyshop in Bournemouth? And did I really get annoyed when I overheard another kid telling someone that we'd know if it was the real Boba Fett because his armour would be all dirty and beaten-up - which was exactly what I'd just said to the kid in front of me in the queue?!?
Don't steal my ideas.
And if these recollections are wrong, what else can't I trust about my memories?
The point of all this is that I'm now questioning everything. Star Wars hadn't just been about Star Wars for me; the films, and so many memories associated with them, work as a series of footholds through my childhood. I don't just remember, say, getting a new Star Wars action figure... I remember everything around it.
Like seeing an ad in Star Wars Weekly for the new Star Wars toys and getting excited because I thought they were "bendy people" (pre-action figures, I was big into my "bendy people"). On summer holidays I had a little fold-out table that I would take around with me so that I could have somewhere to play with my "bendy people" that wouldn't get sand on them.
Because I hate sand; it gets everywhere.
I remember my mum presenting me with my first action figure (Chewbacca), and playing with him on my parents' bed. I remember the old bathroom stool which I'd always appropriate as a Star Destroyer. I remember stealing my sisters' Mastermind game, disassembling it, and using the pieces as the walls of the Cantina.
I remember the sledge my brother-in-law built for me, and turning it into an X-Wing cockpit (frankly, most things in our house ended up becoming something from Star Wars sooner or later).
I remember the time my parents were thinking of moving house. We went with them to view some new homes, and in one of them a boy had spread all of his action figures out on the living room carpet, and he had a Sand Person - the one figure I didn't own. I asked my mum to ask his mum where he got it.
Weirdly, we took a look in one of the bedrooms and one of them had some sleeping woman in one of the beds. And the house smelled funny.
We never ended up moving.
BELGIUM
I remember when my dad came back off Territorial Army manoeuvres and brought an X-Wing back with him from "Belgium" (he later admitted he'd bought it from the local Debenhams, which had the best toy department in the world, and also once played host to a promotional visit from Darth Vader). I remember when we couldn't find Star Wars wallpaper for my bedroom, so I had to make do with wallpaper for Disney's The Black Hole.
Which was still up on my walls when I was 16.
I remember "being" Han Solo in my middle school playground on a particularly icy lunchtime, because my Parka jacket had the right sort of hood. I remember around the same time - in that same playground - getting annoyed with a boy called Derek Douglas (who had once been an extra in an episode of Hammer House of Horror) for thinking that Yoda lived on a planet with Darth Vader. He didn't understand the concept of Force visions ffs.
I never understood those who didn't share on engage with Star Wars like I did. It was, for many in my family, what defined the young me. So much so that cousins still talk about my Star Wars obsession when they see me.
It was everything, and so its roots are entwined with everything else that happened in my life between 1977 and 1983. To find out that some of those memories are unreliable has shaken me in a way I'm struggling to get to grips with. How much of what I remember is distorted? How much of it is outright wrong?
Did I really go to see Blade Runner, because Han Solo was in it, wearing what I think was my sister's turtleneck sweater in a bid to look older (it was rated 'AA', roughly equivalent to a '15')? Did I really strap a washing-up liquid bottle to my back and stomp around pretending to be a Stormtrooper? Did I really get given a 12-inch Luke because I'd been a brave boy when I'd had my tooth extracted? Did I really freeze Han Solo in a cup of water, and then drop it, and his arm snapped off?
Did I really meet Boba Fett - wearing what was obviously a screen-used costume - in a toyshop in Bournemouth? And did I really get annoyed when I overheard another kid telling someone that we'd know if it was the real Boba Fett because his armour would be all dirty and beaten-up - which was exactly what I'd just said to the kid in front of me in the queue?!?
Don't steal my ideas.
And if these recollections are wrong, what else can't I trust about my memories?
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