MR T'S GAMING PROBLEM PAGE - With Readers Letters

Well, we asked and you answered - literally in your dozen (or so)! If you'd like to feature in a future Mr T's Gaming Problem Page, please send your dilemmas to digitiser2000@gmail.com and we'll pass them on to the TV toughie for his response.

For now, here's a selection from our initial batch of readers' woes. Mr T will return later this week.

---

GAMERGATE ANXIETY

Hello Mr T, 

Please help. I recently became worried that people were sneaking into my house at night and rearranging all of the games on my shelf. I went online to look for a GamerGate to secure my beloved shiny discs and asked for help. Now I seem to be getting bombarded by messages from misogynistic 14 year-olds with serious personality issues. What do I do?

Worried_By_Clowns (gamertag)

MR T SAYS: "Firstly, I would encourage you to ignore the messages. Internet trolls like nothing more than the oxygen of attention. Secondly, if I ever CATCH you sneaking AROUND my house AT night trying to REARRANGE my things I will come ROUND your house and rearrange your limbs INTO a pretzel. I will SNAP and break YOU. I will RUIN all you HOLD dear."

MOTION SICKNESS

Dear Mr T,

I suffer from terrible motion sickness and headaches when playing some games. Is there anything I can do to stop this? Thanks in advance.

David, England (UK, Europe)

MR T SAYS: "The best advice I can give you is to limit the amount of time you play games or use screens. I'd also suggest you speak to an optician or doctor - you may need glasses. However, if YOU ever train TO become an OPTICIAN and then get A job AS AN optician, and prescribe GLASSES to Mr T and then LAUGH AT Mr T while he's trying ON different GLASSES in the shop, with your ANNOYING cackling LAUGH, I will return to your STORE and destroy YOUR STOCK of spectacle frames with A breeze BLOCK."

DUPLO CHILD

Dear Mr T,

I have a child now, and I can't find any time to play video games. I have tried getting her to join in, pah! She seems to be content playing with a doll house, pretending to feed her bunny, and pouring Duplo out of the box.

How can I rescue this situation?

Neil H

MR T SAYS: "Creative play is vital for a child's development, and I would suggest you encourage your daughter to indulger her imagination wherever possible. Nevertheless, if YOU ever hire Mr T to BE your babysitter, and your DAUGHTER scribbles ON HIS scalp while he IS power-napping, I will FLY into a RAGE, climb to the TOP OF your home, and rip out all the LINTEL ARCH BOARDS around your GUTTERING, and throw them to the GROUND."

MULTIPLE CHOICES

Hello,

With the advent of these multi choice games, each that seems to lead to a different (albeit minor) ending. As I feel I haven’t completed a game unless I’ve seen every pixel a game has to offer (yes the Vectrex was a pain). As a result I have approximately 15.6x10 11  gamesaves of Fallout New Vagas and the like at crucial decision making points. How best to keep track of all of these forks in the narrative road? Thanks.

Liam

MR T SAYS: "Mr T does not KNOW what YOU are talking ABOUT. He just HOPES that this IS NOT some veiled ATTACK... FOR YOUR sake."

ZOMBIE/MOTHER/FATHER ISSUE

Dear Mr T,
 
My old man’s a dustman.  He wears a dustman’s hat.  But recently he became addicted to Resident Evil and his obsession is driving my old mum barmy.  As soon as he gets in from his rounds he’s sat on the sofa despatching the hoards of the undead, he doesn’t even take the time to remove his hobnail boots.  

Now, my old mum likes to see the evil undead beaten to a bloody pulp as much as the next person, but she doesn’t actually like to see the evil undead beaten to a bloody pulp.  Last week she was left so out of sorts by the the continual sounds of moans, groans and gunshots that she very nearly burnt a hole in my old man’s cor-blimey trousers with the iron.  

Without the proper uniform he may lose his job, leaving them without the ability to pay the rent on their council flat.  Please come to the aid of one of society’s unsung heroes.  Help me, Mr T.  You're my only hope.
 
Ronseal Prinze Jr III

MR T SAYS: "Mr T is not a charity. I wish your parents all the best, but often losing a job can be a blessing in disguise, and lead to new opportunities. 

"Regardless, if your father GETS sloppy in the FINAL days of his JOB and DOESN'T BOTHER putting Mr T's bins back ONTO THE drive, and just leaves THEM on the pavement where anyone CAN tamper with them, Mr T will become ENRAGED and upset and LAY IN wait for the next bin COLLECTION. He will leave traps AROUND the bins AND go about the RUBBISH TRUCK with a claw-headed HAMMER. He will SMASH and bash the wheels and SIDES and WINGMIRRORS. 'NO!!!' he will shout. 'NO!!! I WILL NOT LET YOU TREAT MY BINS IN SUCH A FASHION!!! YOU WILL RESPECT THEM! YOU WILL RESPECT MY BINS!!'."

See more Mr T here.