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mr biffo overthinks not winning a bafta

27/11/2017

32 Comments

 
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Bif-baff-boff. I went to the BAFTA Children's Awards last night. In case you've forgotten, when he isn't making stupid online series about bums, or writing about video games on here, Mr Biffo's alter-ego is an experienced writer of children's telly. And yes: I am talking about myself in the third-person there, like some godawful pseud. 

I was nominated as best writer for my CBBC series 4 O'Clock Club - along with Mikis Michaelides and Luc Skyz, who write the songs for the show. We didn't win, of course. We weren't expecting to though; this was, I think, my third or fourth BAFTA nomination, and I've yet to win any of them.

It's a weird thing, being nominated for an award. Well, it's weird for me, presumably because I'm a bit weird, but the only thing I feel when I get nominated is a slight sense of dread. I always fear that, win or lose, it's going to be awkward.

If I win - worse this time because I was up against a good friend in the same category (he didn't win either) - then I would've had to act not-too-pleased, because that would look like gloating. If I don't win - and I didn't - I'd have to adopt the "right sort of face", because when the awards category comes around you have a camera pointing at you, and your reaction is shown on huge screens either side of the stage.

But what is the right sort of face?

I think that's it; I don't know how I'm meant to be at these things, in a way that feels natural, and maybe I end up overthinking it. Also, I've discovered that stating openly that I don't really care gets me one of two reactions: I always think people either don't believe me and reckon I'm just saying it to protect myself in the event of not winning... or they just look at me horrified, like they've suddenly realised I was The Hooded Claw all along.

And what makes this worse is that being nominated for a BAFTA, winning a BAFTA, really, really means a lot to some people, and it makes me feel ungrateful.

That was clear from the acceptance speeches last night; there was raw emotion on display; excitement, tears, disbelief. I've seen it among those who've not taken home an award too - I know of more people than I care to mention who'd stormed out upon hearing that they're not successful. 

And so... I think I have all this swirling around my head before I go to these things, and end up questioning myself far too much. I was genuinely anxious yesterday before leaving for the ceremony, and - as my other half remarked - I never get anxious about anything. 
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SHAKE THE SENSE
Thing is, I can't shake the sense that awards mean nothing, really. They're just the opinions of some people in a room... and those people who vote, in the case of the Children's BAFTAs, aren't even the target audience. 

Case in point; the big winners at last night's ceremony are an online channel called TrueTube. No; I hadn't heard of it either, and neither had most of the people I spoke to at the ceremony. The channel is an online resource for schools that provides videos, lesson plans and assembly scripts for RE, PSHE and Citizenship at Key Stages 3 and 4. 

Their shows include "The Gospel of Luke", short films about dealing with grief and relationships, and Screwball (the one which beat me) - a 12 minute film about "two young people struggling through their first sexual encounter".

TrueTube cleaned up in pretty much every category they were nominated in, but - and I hope this doesn't sound like sour grapes - their output, which is clearly very good, seems like the sort of thing adults would like, rather than kids.

Also, there's the whole issue of the fact that BAFTA is a business; to be nominated, you have to submit your shows to BAFTA, and that costs a lot of money (and means that some shows don't even get submitted). Plus, tickets to the event costs hundreds of pounds (being a nominee, CBBC kindly paid for mine). In order to survive, BAFTA has to make money, and one of the primary ways it makes money is by holding awards ceremonies.

I suppose the main thing I appreciate is that CBBC like my work enough to submit it - and invite me along - rather than the opinions of the committee who chose the winner. That, I guess, feels like the real honour; that the people I work for value what I do, and put it forward for wider recognition. It's why I can't not go to the ceremony, even though there's part of me that would've loved to have chucked a sicky so I didn't have to negotiate the minefield of awards ceremony social rules; doing so would seem ungrateful. And I'm very, very grateful that CBBC continue to give me work. 
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DEREK GRIFFITHS
Don't think I dislike everything about being nominated. I mean, it's sort of funny that I get to be in a room with Hacker T Dog, Derek Griffiths and Peter Andre. That is entertainment value in itself.

I sat on a table with Sam and Mark - stalwarts of CBBC's presenting ranks - who were very pleasant chaps (they didn't win either of the two categories they were nominated in). I also got to catch up with colleagues I don't see very often, and others who I rarely have the opportunity to socialise with. Also: free meal.

​I mean, were I ever to win one... of course I'd be pleased. It's a pat on the head, a bit of validation, and I get to go home with a heavy statue that I'd be able to show off on my mantelpiece.

But in terms of its deeper meaning, it's less important to me than having what I do recognised by continuing to be offered work. That's what truly matters. I mean, when my agent negotiates contracts for me, on shows that I've co-created, I tend to give up certain format rights in return for a guaranteed number of episodes per series. For me, security means more than accolades. 

I don't want to take away from the winners by discounting their achievements, or the euphoria they seemed to display. All were deserved of course, and in the case of TrueTube beating CBBC to be Channel of the Year, that's one heck of an accomplishment. This is about me, and my ridiculous over-analysing, but I've written this blurb to try and understand why a nomination somehow floors me, rather than lifting me high. I know I'm the exception here, the weird one. Ever was it so.

I guess... I do feel that working in kids tv is a privilege in itself; writing stories for a living is bloody great, frankly. Plus, look at the appetite there is for nostalgia for things we remember when we were kids. It's an enormous honour to be manufacturing that nostalgia for a whole new generation, and giving them stuff that they'll remember for a lifetime. I guess I just don't need a statue to remind me of that.
32 Comments
Paddy Hill
27/11/2017 12:47:57 pm

I work a lot with da yoof and have had 4 kids so I've seen loads of kids tv. 4 O'Clock club was (and still is) brilliant, clever, funny and creative. Above all - it is completely unpatronising in its delivery! You get my 'padsta' award!

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Mr Biffo
27/11/2017 01:01:49 pm

Hah! Cheers, Padston.

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Roy (Stuart N Hardy fan)
27/11/2017 12:50:00 pm

I'm one of those that can't hide their disappointment so if I were a nominee at an awards do then I'd definitely give the wanker sign.
Televised or not.

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ade
27/11/2017 12:59:07 pm

So.... you can win a BAFTA if you pay BAFTA a lot of money to have your content considered for an award? Is that how it works?

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Mr Biffo
27/11/2017 01:01:29 pm

That's how it works with pretty much every awards ceremony.

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Johnc
27/11/2017 06:48:26 pm

You know those web awards you see on websites? Those are usually free to enter and free to win but a small fortune to use the logo when you have won.

Also, stars on the Hollywood walk of fame... Bought.

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Paul
27/11/2017 01:34:27 pm

Hope you told Sam and Mark all about Found Footage.

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Sevenlegs
27/11/2017 01:58:47 pm

What was the meal?

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Mr Biffo
27/11/2017 02:08:23 pm

It was right posh. I dunno what it was - slices of beef with truffles shavings, or something, as a starter, then some fancy chicken thing, and a chocolate cake for pudding. I mean, there wasn't a lot of it. I was still hungry afterwards, but what was there was quite nice.

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Alex Darby
27/11/2017 02:13:21 pm

I am 100% with you on this Paul.

I've never won a BAFTA either despite being nominated a few times; I've always viewed the success of the games I work on as more meaningful than the awards they have occasionally own.

I remember when I found out that awards weren't purely based on merit and that you had to pay to be considered & after that I stopped caring.

To me the most meaningful validation has come when regular people I've met have told me that their favourite game is one I helped create; that's where the magic is.

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Alex Darby
27/11/2017 02:15:57 pm

...and being able to afford to pay for food for me & my family definitely helps me appreciate the magic ;)

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Burt Bacharach
27/11/2017 02:50:10 pm

I know how you feel, Alex. In 1981, I won an Academy Award for Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do) and I think that title holds the answer to every creatives' dreams - you just do the best you can and that's what matters. If you don't want that award, don't get drunk and smash the living crap out of your hotel room (like I did in '83). The coppers turn up and aren't pleased if you're waving an axe about and braying like a donkey. No. You just fork out the $1 million bribe and reap the benefits. Yours truly, Burt Bacharach of the Bacharach Clan.

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Dacanesta
28/11/2017 01:41:14 am

I absolutely love that song, Mr Bacharach. "When you get caught between the moon and New York Ci-ty!......"

MENTALIST
28/11/2017 01:11:12 pm

You'd better get working on those Broadway scores, Bacharach or you'll never be an EGOT. You've got to be in it to be eligible to pay off the committee to win it!

Jopijedd
27/11/2017 02:26:17 pm

Interesting you mention about future nostalgia. I've come to the conclusion that a lot of kids in the future won't have the same fellowship amongst cultural references that the likes of us have. There is so much variety and availability on demand these days, that kids can saturate themselves in exactly what they like, which is in stark contrast to the four channels and half dozen computer formats that existed in my youth. Things like hit CBeebies and CBBC shows will undoubtedly have some pull, but beyond that viewing figures for mainstream TV, the prevalence of YouTube acts and the sheer variety in subscription services suggest that there will be disparate memories of childhood and nostalgia won't be what it is now.

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Mr Biffo
27/11/2017 02:47:57 pm

Yeah, I think this a lot. Entertainment is so much more fragmented now - there isn't that shared experience in the way there was when I was a kid, and we'd all go to school and talk about, say, last night's Grange Hill. It's a shame, but in terms of individual memories... you don't need shared experience to feel nostalgic.

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Durden Zook
27/11/2017 07:35:20 pm

Agreed, I've literally never talked to another soul about Cockleshell Bay so I've no idea how fondly remembered it is by people at large, but it's very fondly remembered by me.

Zudobug
28/11/2017 12:28:20 pm

Cockleshell Bay! Wow, that's fired up some long dormant brain cells... Bizarre that the name of the show sticks with me after all these years yet all I can remember about it was watching it one time, waiting for Portland Bill to show up, then being slightly disappointed that he didn't. I assume the stop-motion animation combined with seaside setting made me think he would.

Scott C
27/11/2017 08:45:06 pm

I'm not sure it works like that. Kids tend to like what all the other kids like, so there always a "winner" of mass popularity within a certain niche. The same applies to online MP games that are largely consumed by the yoof (e.g. Overwatch vs Battleborn, and why so many people play below-average crap like CS:GO and PUBG).

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Jol
27/11/2017 02:37:29 pm

Beyond the shiny trinket and acknowledgement from your peers is there any demonstrable value in the award - i.e. would it lead to more money / creative freedom / opportunities that you may not otherwise have had?

Also: I've no idea what TrueTube is but presumably they produced some totally amazeballs stuff to avoid the usual snooze-enducing trappings of educational TV. Usually as soon as the big capitalised Educational label is stamped onto children's entertainment grown-ups all nod sagely with approval while the kids themselves simply nod off.

I mean given the choice between The Demon Headmaster or that educational film where a kid gets zapped at a substation while trying to retrieve a football I know which one I preferred.

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Mr Biffo
27/11/2017 02:49:53 pm

In my experience, a win or a nomination doesn't make a blind bit of difference to career opportunities. I'm well known enough in kids TV circles, and I've got a solid reputation for being reliable and easy to work with, and that seems to count for far more.

Incidentally... The Demon Headmaster was filmed at my old high school.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
27/11/2017 08:00:33 pm

I haven't actually given it a chance, but that "Screwball" thing just sounds like the kind of agonising videos they made us sit through in our equivalent of PSE classes. Those things are like the GamesVille of sex-related media; trying desperately to be relatable to "the kids" but really just being awkward, pointless and degrading for all involved,

(Also I remember that substation video. Didn't it have "the heat is on" in it? Electrocution and Gloria Gaynor are inextricably stuck together in my mind because of it)

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Jol
27/11/2017 09:36:03 pm

It did have "the heat is on" in it! (so obviously I've googled it to provide a link for anyone who wants to have this burned in their brain like every child that saw it first time round):

https://youtu.be/PoL3MjllVSs

I watched 5 minutes of Screwball - it's well acted and captures the awkward reality pretty well, but then it has these really jarring slapstick moments complete with cartoony sound effects that kill it. It veers between being sweet and witty to pure cringe.

John Veness
27/11/2017 04:26:17 pm

I'm happy that you're fine with not winning. But still... it would have been fascinating to read the equivalent article to this one in an alternative timeline when you *did* win!

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Mr Biffo
27/11/2017 04:43:32 pm

Would've been almost exactly the same, except I would've mentioned winning!

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Chris Dyson
27/11/2017 04:28:41 pm

BAFTA? TWATFA more like.

I once finished second in a longest hair competition at a cub scout camp so I feel your pain mate.

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Mrtankthreat
27/11/2017 04:43:25 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8u-dxn8IgQo

I think this is the best take on awards.

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Regular John
27/11/2017 06:13:48 pm

So did you have a speech prepared? You know, just in case.
Or were you so sure you didn’t need one you didn’t bother?

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Mr Biffo
27/11/2017 07:19:17 pm

God no! In the unlikely event I won, I was just going to wing it.

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Regular John
27/11/2017 07:58:41 pm

Well, you’re a braver man than me.
I planned to wing my wedding speech, but chickened out and prepared one instead. My brides father tried to wing his, he choked something rotten, poor chap.

Norbon Book
27/11/2017 07:41:21 pm

I thought the idea of Screwball sounded great - I'm very in to people creating slightly more challenging work for teenagers about things that they can definitely relate to, so I thought I'd check it out.

The YouTube thumbnail had which I assume is meant to be a teenage character in her bra and I realised that I probably couldn't watch it comfortably, but that's okay. I'm glad that it exists for, say 15-17 year olds.

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Dowser
29/11/2017 03:36:15 pm

Well if you're weird I'm weird. Am nominated for staff awards on Friday and the whole thing fills me with a sense of dread. I thought I was the only one. Obviously it's not on the scale of the baftas but it's still the big company award and like you say a lot of people put a lot of store by these things but all I can see is a problem to get through. So thanks for writing this and being honest about your feelings. It's nice to know there's someone else out there feels the same!

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