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MOST WANTED: 21 GENUINE POLICE SUSPECT IMAGES

7/3/2016

8 Comments

 
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Crime: it's the worst thing that a person can do. Yet in this day and age of DNA tests and CCTV, it's virtually impossible for anybody to get away with doing crimes.

And that's just as well, because if there's one thing worse than having a crime happen to you... it's knowing that the person what done the crime did get away with it.

Here are 21 genuine - yet bizarre - images created by police artists, based upon the descriptions of witnesses.

21. NAME: Ed "Fingers" Kneesentoes
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CRIME: Playing a cat like an accordion.
20. NAME: Paltry Armowntz
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CRIME: Touching the Queen's sandwich.
19. NAME: Birdemic Ultrasound
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CRIME: Brushing a stranger's hair.
18. NAME: The Tot
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CRIME: Painting a living room without permission.
17. NAME: Ballpond O'Legogrowl
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CRIME: Scaring a child using foil.
16. NAME: Bovary Ovum
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CRIME: Doing a loud and unnecessary bark.
15. NAME: Crocodile Dundee Cake
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CRIME: Throwing a marionette at a passing car.
14. NAME: B'dum B'dum Sekibodoboo
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CRIME: Refusing to acknowledge a path.
13. NAME: Ovum Bovary
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CRIME: Freezing a fishbowl.
12. NAME: D'pleted Uraniom
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CRIME: Letting one off during an optician's appointment.
11. NAME: Jonathan "Lettuce" Outtahere
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CRIME: Pushing an octopus over a waterfall.
10. NAME: "Fallop" Ian Chewbs
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CRIME: Wrapping his mother in a tent.
9. NAME: N.E. Oldiron
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CRIME: Speaking in a high-pitched voice to order a kebab.
8. NAME: Galactic Expansion
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CRIME: Doing a deliberately weird cough after 8pm.
7. NAME: Assman Tribbles
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CRIME: Making poo poo in his car.
6. NAME: Sinus O'Reilly
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CRIME: Putting the wrappers back in the tin.
5. NAME: Flansy C-Bong.
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CRIME: Inventing a bad type of porkwich.
4. NAME: Lorraine Quiche
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CRIME: Being too beautiful on a Sunday.
3. NAME: Android "The Throttler" Pelmet
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CRIME: Impersonating a popular plumber.
2. NAME: Hermes Herpes
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CRIME: Fannying around in a woodland glade.
1. NAME: Urchin Church
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CRIME: Making eye contact with a waiter.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
10 VINTAGE COMPUTER ADS
10 COMPLETELY USELESS GAMING ACCESSORIES
CHART CAT: TOP 10 BEARDED GAMES CHARACTERS



8 Comments
aan
7/3/2016 09:39:56 am

Well that cheered me up no end

Reply
Dirtyolddingus
7/3/2016 09:40:25 am

Is touching the Queen's sandwich a euphemism? If so the scoundrel should be much higher up the list.

Reply
Griff
7/3/2016 09:09:52 pm

It's let's-explain-the-joke-time!

Reply
Scaryduck
7/3/2016 12:33:30 pm

No.12 is Ian Beale and I claim my reward.

Reply
colincidence link
7/3/2016 12:45:54 pm

9. Pete Doherty's at it again.

Reply
Ovum Bovary
7/3/2016 07:39:58 pm

I demand immediate removal of the unauthorised image of me that is published above. Thanks, Ovum.

Reply
Bumshark
7/3/2016 08:29:27 pm

Half of these look like Bethesda characters.

Reply
Rawce
7/3/2016 09:21:20 pm

Urchin Church has three potential mouth options. Or three mouths.

Reply



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