There are numerous reasons why Digitiser 2000 will never be a hit with The Kids. First among these reasons is that we don't really get Let's Play videos.
Admittedly, this is not entirely a consequence of "old fartage" - we've never enjoyed watching other people play games.
Indeed, back in the days of the Gamesmaster TV show, the challenges were our least favourite bits. We'd endure Jet from Gladiators playing Bubsy the Bobcat, but wish they'd just hurry up and get to the reviews and features.
Admittedly, this is not entirely a consequence of "old fartage" - we've never enjoyed watching other people play games.
Indeed, back in the days of the Gamesmaster TV show, the challenges were our least favourite bits. We'd endure Jet from Gladiators playing Bubsy the Bobcat, but wish they'd just hurry up and get to the reviews and features.
Second among the reasons the kids will never care for us, is that we're baffled by Minecraft. We sort of like all that building stuff in principle - Lego is so close to our hearts we might as well get a Lego pacemaker fitted - but we find it such a painful exercise in tedium endurance.
What's more, at least with Lego you end up with something you can hold, something tangible. However complex your creations, Minecraft is just more digital dust, waiting to be blown away by the electronic winds, or the collapse of civilisation, or your mum unplugging the Xbox because she has to do the Hoovering.
So with those facts in hand, you can imagine how utterly bewildered we are by all those zillions of people who want to watch other people playing Minecraft.
WHAT DO THE STATISTICS SUGGEST?
The statistics suggest that we are idiots; over 60 million copies of Minecraft have been sold. It's the best-selling PC game of all time - and Microsoft was prepared to fork out $2.5 billion to buy it, so badly did it wish to sink its fat face into that pie. There are literally millions of Minecraft-related videos on YouTube; in fact, last year it was the most searched-for topic after 'music' and 'how to fake being a priest'.
What's more, at least with Lego you end up with something you can hold, something tangible. However complex your creations, Minecraft is just more digital dust, waiting to be blown away by the electronic winds, or the collapse of civilisation, or your mum unplugging the Xbox because she has to do the Hoovering.
So with those facts in hand, you can imagine how utterly bewildered we are by all those zillions of people who want to watch other people playing Minecraft.
WHAT DO THE STATISTICS SUGGEST?
The statistics suggest that we are idiots; over 60 million copies of Minecraft have been sold. It's the best-selling PC game of all time - and Microsoft was prepared to fork out $2.5 billion to buy it, so badly did it wish to sink its fat face into that pie. There are literally millions of Minecraft-related videos on YouTube; in fact, last year it was the most searched-for topic after 'music' and 'how to fake being a priest'.
If any of this is resonating with you, you'll doubtless be caressing yourself with exultation at the following news: Minecraft developer Mojang has announced that its next Minecon expo will take place at the ExCel centre in London between July 4 - 5.
Amusingly, they seem at least somewhat aware that this will not be an event for everyone, apologetically stating: "If you like Minecraft, and you like people who like Minecraft, you'll probably like Minecon. It's THE place to see all the cool Mohangstas you fancy, meet people who love Minecraft maybe even as much as you do and attend panels and events full of YouTube creators and a ton of other talented folks!".
That's it, Mojang. Really selling the strength of your brand convictions there...
Minecon tickets will be going on sale in two batches sometime this month. Keep an eye on the official Mojang website for further details. Or don't. We don't care. Do what you like.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
Amusingly, they seem at least somewhat aware that this will not be an event for everyone, apologetically stating: "If you like Minecraft, and you like people who like Minecraft, you'll probably like Minecon. It's THE place to see all the cool Mohangstas you fancy, meet people who love Minecraft maybe even as much as you do and attend panels and events full of YouTube creators and a ton of other talented folks!".
That's it, Mojang. Really selling the strength of your brand convictions there...
Minecon tickets will be going on sale in two batches sometime this month. Keep an eye on the official Mojang website for further details. Or don't. We don't care. Do what you like.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
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