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MAN'S DADDY: GENERIC JOKES

8/7/2015

2 Comments

 
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Hello. I'm The Man's Daddy, a popular comedian. Sometimes I lay awake in bed at night asking myself why I've chosen to be a comedian. I guess the answer to that would be "Because I really like writing jokes and stuff. I don't know really. Whatever."

I suppose it doesn't matter. Oh well. Never mind.

Anyway, here are my latest jokes, which I wrote down on the footplate of a Segway I found round the back of the leisure centre. What was I doing round the back of the leisure centre? I was having a poo. Anyway. Here are the jokes. Hope you think they're ok. Well, bye then. Yeah. Bye.

QUESTION: What is the saltiest part of the human body?
ANSWER: The brine (brain).

QUESTION: What mark did the wasp get in its exam?
ANSWER: A bee (a B).

QUESTION: What mark did The Fonz get in his exam?
ANSWER: An aaayyy (an A).

QUESTION: What mark did the American Standard Code for Information Interchange get in its exam? 
ANSWER: ASCII (a C).

QUESTION: What is a germaphobe's favourite movie?
ANSWER: Anti-Bac to the Future.

QUESTION: What was considered to be the bad artist's worst defining characteristics?
ANSWER: His poor-traits.


QUESTION: What is the collective term for g-string?
ANSWER: A throng.


QUESTION: Which prehistoric creature ate, devoured, consumed, ingested, and fed on its prey?
ANSWER: Tyranthesaurus Rex.


QUESTION: What do you get if you get a live alligator to mate with a dead crocodile?
ANSWER: Bad karma.

QUESTION: Why did the fool keep eating mashed potato, even though he didn't like it?
ANSWER: He was a mashochist (masochist).

QUESTION: Who should you call if you've been stuffed by HM Revenue & Customs?
ANSWER: A tax-idermist.

QUESTION: Who should you call if you've been stuffed by a cab driver?
ANSWER: A taxi-dermist.

QUESTION: Who should you call if you've been stuffed by the loss of control of your bodily movements?
ANSWER: Ataxia-dermist.


QUESTION: What are trom-skeletons made out of?
ANSWER: Trom-bones


QUESTION: What does the singer Tom Jones have under his skin?
ANSWER: Tom Bones

QUESTION: Which singer does the loudest parps?
ANSWER: Trom Jones.


QUESTION: Who is your favourite Star Wars character?
ANSWER: Paffy.

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
  • THE MAN'S DADDY - Hilarious Comedy Jokes
  • THE MAN'S DADDY - And his fabulous phunnies
  • THE MAN'S DADDY - Hilarious Political Jokes
2 Comments
Jabberwoc
9/7/2015 08:46:06 am

Nice one, The Man's Daddy. You have been entertaining me with your wit since the 90s. You're even better than "Live at the Apollo". Which should be "Live FROM the Apollo".

Reply
Frank Chickens
10/7/2015 09:37:09 am

Up to the same high standard as always and enjoyed the ASCII joke - that was a good 'un.

Reply



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