Hello. I'm The Man's Daddy, a popular comedian. Sometimes I lay awake in bed at night asking myself why I've chosen to be a comedian. I guess the answer to that would be "Because I really like writing jokes and stuff. I don't know really. Whatever."
I suppose it doesn't matter. Oh well. Never mind.
Anyway, here are my latest jokes, which I wrote down on the footplate of a Segway I found round the back of the leisure centre. What was I doing round the back of the leisure centre? I was having a poo. Anyway. Here are the jokes. Hope you think they're ok. Well, bye then. Yeah. Bye.
I suppose it doesn't matter. Oh well. Never mind.
Anyway, here are my latest jokes, which I wrote down on the footplate of a Segway I found round the back of the leisure centre. What was I doing round the back of the leisure centre? I was having a poo. Anyway. Here are the jokes. Hope you think they're ok. Well, bye then. Yeah. Bye.
QUESTION: What is the saltiest part of the human body?
ANSWER: The brine (brain).
QUESTION: What mark did the wasp get in its exam?
ANSWER: A bee (a B).
QUESTION: What mark did The Fonz get in his exam?
ANSWER: An aaayyy (an A).
QUESTION: What mark did the American Standard Code for Information Interchange get in its exam?
ANSWER: ASCII (a C).
QUESTION: What is a germaphobe's favourite movie?
ANSWER: Anti-Bac to the Future.
QUESTION: What was considered to be the bad artist's worst defining characteristics?
ANSWER: His poor-traits.
QUESTION: What is the collective term for g-string?
ANSWER: A throng.
QUESTION: Which prehistoric creature ate, devoured, consumed, ingested, and fed on its prey?
ANSWER: Tyranthesaurus Rex.
QUESTION: What do you get if you get a live alligator to mate with a dead crocodile?
ANSWER: Bad karma.
QUESTION: Why did the fool keep eating mashed potato, even though he didn't like it?
ANSWER: He was a mashochist (masochist).
QUESTION: Who should you call if you've been stuffed by HM Revenue & Customs?
ANSWER: A tax-idermist.
QUESTION: Who should you call if you've been stuffed by a cab driver?
ANSWER: A taxi-dermist.
QUESTION: Who should you call if you've been stuffed by the loss of control of your bodily movements?
ANSWER: Ataxia-dermist.
QUESTION: What are trom-skeletons made out of?
ANSWER: Trom-bones
QUESTION: What does the singer Tom Jones have under his skin?
ANSWER: Tom Bones
QUESTION: Which singer does the loudest parps?
ANSWER: Trom Jones.
QUESTION: Who is your favourite Star Wars character?
ANSWER: Paffy.
ANSWER: The brine (brain).
QUESTION: What mark did the wasp get in its exam?
ANSWER: A bee (a B).
QUESTION: What mark did The Fonz get in his exam?
ANSWER: An aaayyy (an A).
QUESTION: What mark did the American Standard Code for Information Interchange get in its exam?
ANSWER: ASCII (a C).
QUESTION: What is a germaphobe's favourite movie?
ANSWER: Anti-Bac to the Future.
QUESTION: What was considered to be the bad artist's worst defining characteristics?
ANSWER: His poor-traits.
QUESTION: What is the collective term for g-string?
ANSWER: A throng.
QUESTION: Which prehistoric creature ate, devoured, consumed, ingested, and fed on its prey?
ANSWER: Tyranthesaurus Rex.
QUESTION: What do you get if you get a live alligator to mate with a dead crocodile?
ANSWER: Bad karma.
QUESTION: Why did the fool keep eating mashed potato, even though he didn't like it?
ANSWER: He was a mashochist (masochist).
QUESTION: Who should you call if you've been stuffed by HM Revenue & Customs?
ANSWER: A tax-idermist.
QUESTION: Who should you call if you've been stuffed by a cab driver?
ANSWER: A taxi-dermist.
QUESTION: Who should you call if you've been stuffed by the loss of control of your bodily movements?
ANSWER: Ataxia-dermist.
QUESTION: What are trom-skeletons made out of?
ANSWER: Trom-bones
QUESTION: What does the singer Tom Jones have under his skin?
ANSWER: Tom Bones
QUESTION: Which singer does the loudest parps?
ANSWER: Trom Jones.
QUESTION: Who is your favourite Star Wars character?
ANSWER: Paffy.
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