Pac-Man: what is he? It's unlikely to be a question which troubled Namco when it was originally developing the game.
Unfortunately, when Pac-Man became a phenomenon, licensees made efforts - inconsistent efforts, but efforts nevertheless - to ascribe some sort of personality upon him. You know: something a bit more than just "Disembodied yellow gob who eats ghosts and drugs".
The game's unexpected success no doubt accounts for the rather scattershot nature of the merchandising which followed initially in Pac-Man's wake. Here's a selection of it - with a bonus bawdy joke as your reward if you make it all the way to the end.
No scrolling to the bottom before you've looked at everything else though....!
Unfortunately, when Pac-Man became a phenomenon, licensees made efforts - inconsistent efforts, but efforts nevertheless - to ascribe some sort of personality upon him. You know: something a bit more than just "Disembodied yellow gob who eats ghosts and drugs".
The game's unexpected success no doubt accounts for the rather scattershot nature of the merchandising which followed initially in Pac-Man's wake. Here's a selection of it - with a bonus bawdy joke as your reward if you make it all the way to the end.
No scrolling to the bottom before you've looked at everything else though....!
PAC-MAN PUPPET
For some reason, early artwork showed a very different-looking Pac-Man to the one who appeared in the game. Indeed, he had legs, and horrible red eyes - you know: the four things which every junkie has.
As horrifying as this was in itself, it became even more so when rendered in 3D for a harrowing puppet. Also, note that Pac-Man has his own name tattooed inside his mouth. Probably something he had done while he was high.
As horrifying as this was in itself, it became even more so when rendered in 3D for a harrowing puppet. Also, note that Pac-Man has his own name tattooed inside his mouth. Probably something he had done while he was high.
PAC-MAN RIDDLE AND JOKE BOOK
Somehow, "America's Riddle King" - the US equivalent of our own Poet Laureate - found enough riddles and jokes about Pac-Man to fill an entire book. Here's a selection (and, sadly, that picture bottom left is actually labelled "A Big Pac" rather than - as I initially thought - "A Big Poo"... which would've been funnier).
PAC-MAN BANK
"Jesus. Look at the state of him... He doesn't even know where he is. He's so off his face he's eating money... Pac! Hey, Pac-Man - mate, you can't eat that - those aren't sweets. Mate, put them down - they're coins."
"Hunnnnnh...?"
Anyhow. Keep going - that bawdy joke is getting closer! You can't give up now.
"Hunnnnnh...?"
Anyhow. Keep going - that bawdy joke is getting closer! You can't give up now.
MS PAC-MAN PUPPET
For some reason, whereas Pac-Man was often drawn to resemble a haggard addict, Ms Pac-Man was overtly sexualised - and never more so than in this ungodly plush.
PAC-MAN CHAIRS
These chairs - which invite you to quite literally sit on Pac-Man's face - appear neither safe nor comfortable. Furthermore, given their resemblance to beaks, sitting in one while nude would feel a bit like feeding a worm to a baby bird.
PAC-MAN COSTUME
Again with the red eyes, this costume seems targeted specifically at murderers.
And don't forget now - there's a lewd joke coming up very soon!
And don't forget now - there's a lewd joke coming up very soon!
PAC-MAN RUBBER TOY
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Pac-Man with bright white teeth looks like Shaun Ryder since he got his mouth fixed. Which, given their shared history with narcotics, is somewhat appropriate, I suppose.
PAC-MAN VALENTINE'S CARD
Suffice to say, any woman who receives a Pac-Man Valentine's card that's not intended ironically would do best to keep her distance from the sender. Not least the sender of this particular card, with its sinister threat to "TRACK you down"...
Still... Not long now until the bawdy joke!
Still... Not long now until the bawdy joke!
PAC-MAN CHRISTMAS ALBUM
There's a Pac-Man spin to be had on A Christmas Carol, given the series' preoccupation with ghosts. That wasn't to be found here, however, on the Pac-Man Christmas Album - which featured bizarrely-sung, synth-laden reinterpretations of traditional Christmas songs, alongside dialogue from Pac-Man and family.
The album opens with the sound of a giggling infant, and a narrator extolling the virtue of the "holiday perfume" which comes from mixing the stench of freshly-baked cookies with the reek of Christmas trees... and just gets worse from there. It tells the story of the Pacs wanting to do something nice for someone over the holiday season - and settling on inviting the ghosts to spend Christmas with them.
Anyhoo - we're nearly there now. The saucy joke is coming up next!
The album opens with the sound of a giggling infant, and a narrator extolling the virtue of the "holiday perfume" which comes from mixing the stench of freshly-baked cookies with the reek of Christmas trees... and just gets worse from there. It tells the story of the Pacs wanting to do something nice for someone over the holiday season - and settling on inviting the ghosts to spend Christmas with them.
Anyhoo - we're nearly there now. The saucy joke is coming up next!
MS PAC-MAN SQUIRT-UM
At last we have confirmation that Ms Pac-Man is a squirter!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...Yup.
Uhh...
...Yup.
Uhh...
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