If they look a bit odd, or wanky, or as if they're the sort of person for whom writing books is the only thing they've got going on in their life, I'll find something else to read. I know I'm a terrible person, but much as I like reading, I'm also massively judgemental, and don't want to read books written by some weirdo.
It might stem from the fact I myself write for a living, and view it as a job, and don't consider writing to be this magical thing, where the characters live in your head and have a life of their own and that. It's just making stuff up. Well, bully for you that you've got the single-minded perseverance to spend months writing down all that imaginary bollocks in return for a two grand advance and bragging rights.
Quick - get somebody to take a moody, black-and-white photo of you while you stand in front of some ivy, and squint off into the middle distance doing your "author face"...
...What was this meant to be about again? Oh yeah. Here are 10 books which got turned into games.
Square's Tom Sawyer is perhaps best known for its racially dubious charicature of a black character called Jim. Such depictions might've been acceptable in the post-Civil War period during which Twain wrote his novels, but in 1989 it was deeply offensive.
There was another Tom Sawyer game released by - ha ha - Winkysoft. That one was a platformer which featured a giant octopus as an end-of-level boss. And ghosts. Just like in the book!
Mark Twain was, of course famous for his great wit and many catchphrases, including: "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today".
The story was written by one Len Neufield, with the full blessing of Bradbury. The author chattered: "I'm thrilled to be participating in the evolution of my Fahrenheit 451 into a computer adventure. For anybody curious about what happens to Montag after the book ends, or about what science fiction software might be, here is an exciting place to start."
For some reason, you had the option to switch off the graphics. You know: if you think they sullied the literary achievements on offer, or made the game too exciting.
What did the "C" stand for in Arthur Clarke's name? "Crab".
Get this: I've not read Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, but I did once listen to the audiobook of Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator. It's basically Aliens.
Excitingly, the game's blurb promised "Too many wrong moves and decisions will lower Preston's prestige in the service and vital field support will be withdrawn". Cool!
The Hobbit needs no introduction - not only due to the boring book that inspired it, but because it remains one of the most ground-breaking, iconic, and successful computer games of all time. Even though very few of us ever managed to finish it without help. What is less remembered is that publisher Beam Software released a further three games set in Tolkien's Middle Earth, the final one of which was called - ha ha - The Crack of Doom. H'ha. H'ha. Ha-ha.
Unfortunately, those who'd been expecting a first-person action game with exciting sword fights and horse-riding were disappointed by its pedestrian pace and short-length (exacerbated by the presence of a character who follows you around telling you exactly what you should be doing at any given moment).
Oddly, publisher/developer Wisdom Tree chose to interpret it via this collection of three platform games inspired by the Old Testament stories of Noah's Ark, David and Goliath, and Moses. Fortunately, anybody seeking something a little more pious than leaping over giant spiders and snakes were sated with between-level Bible verses. Ironically, everyone involved with the creation of this game is now in Hell.