So this is the week - the week that Nintendo aims its shotgun into your face, and blasts you with a brand new console.
NES, Super NES, Game Boy, Nintendo 64, GameCube, DS, Wii, 3DS, Wii U, and now Switch. Given the relative failure of its most recent console hardware, there's a lot riding on Switch for Nintendo. If expectations were jockeys, and consoles were horses, then the Switch has about fifteen little riders clinging to its saddle.
Often, a new machine lives and dies on the quality of its launch titles - and there has been some criticism regarding the Switch launch line-up, not least on this site where it has spilled over into the sort of contemptuous negativity which nobody enjoys.
Originally, Tomorrow Corporation's World of Goo, Little Inferno, and Human Resource Machine were scheduled as Nintendo eShop downloads on day one, but appear to have been delayed. No great loss, given that they've all been knocking around for years now, on far less powerful machines. However, Nintendo's own Snipperclips will instead arrive in their place, earlier than planned. Please... try not to have too strong an emotional reaction to all of this.
Here's a quick "whizz" through everything that'll be available on Switch from Friday.
NES, Super NES, Game Boy, Nintendo 64, GameCube, DS, Wii, 3DS, Wii U, and now Switch. Given the relative failure of its most recent console hardware, there's a lot riding on Switch for Nintendo. If expectations were jockeys, and consoles were horses, then the Switch has about fifteen little riders clinging to its saddle.
Often, a new machine lives and dies on the quality of its launch titles - and there has been some criticism regarding the Switch launch line-up, not least on this site where it has spilled over into the sort of contemptuous negativity which nobody enjoys.
Originally, Tomorrow Corporation's World of Goo, Little Inferno, and Human Resource Machine were scheduled as Nintendo eShop downloads on day one, but appear to have been delayed. No great loss, given that they've all been knocking around for years now, on far less powerful machines. However, Nintendo's own Snipperclips will instead arrive in their place, earlier than planned. Please... try not to have too strong an emotional reaction to all of this.
Here's a quick "whizz" through everything that'll be available on Switch from Friday.
THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: BREATH OF THE WILD
Edge magazine just gave Breath of the Wild one of its rare 10/10 scores, and everything teased about it thus far would back that up. Let's face it; you can count on the fingers of one grubby stump the number of times Nintendo has ballsed-up a core Zelda game.
Though developed originally for the Wii U - and, indeed, also being released on the Wii U on the same day as the Switch version - the sheer size of Breath of the Wild may account for the lack of another Triple-A Nintendo game at launch.
Being charitable, perhaps Nintendo wants to spread out its major releases, and give people the time to have their fill of them, before releasing the next one.
Or maybe they really are too stupid to realise that had - say - Breath of the Wild, Mario Odyssey and Splatoon 2 all been available on day one, literally every gamer in the land would've been clambering over one another to get their hands on one. Going back to the horse/jockey analogy, in this alternate version of events, all the other horses and riders would've suffered a fatal heart attack at the starting line.
Ask yourself how much more excited would you have felt about Switch if Mario and another big Nintendo franchise had been there with Zelda on launch day, rather than this limp, drip-feed, approach we're getting instead?
However good Breath of the Wild is, though, there's no escaping that this game will be available at the same time on both the Switch and the console that Nintendo has just ditched because it didn't sell so good. Sorry if that's all a bit overly misanthropic for your gentle palette, but somebody has to be.
Though developed originally for the Wii U - and, indeed, also being released on the Wii U on the same day as the Switch version - the sheer size of Breath of the Wild may account for the lack of another Triple-A Nintendo game at launch.
Being charitable, perhaps Nintendo wants to spread out its major releases, and give people the time to have their fill of them, before releasing the next one.
Or maybe they really are too stupid to realise that had - say - Breath of the Wild, Mario Odyssey and Splatoon 2 all been available on day one, literally every gamer in the land would've been clambering over one another to get their hands on one. Going back to the horse/jockey analogy, in this alternate version of events, all the other horses and riders would've suffered a fatal heart attack at the starting line.
Ask yourself how much more excited would you have felt about Switch if Mario and another big Nintendo franchise had been there with Zelda on launch day, rather than this limp, drip-feed, approach we're getting instead?
However good Breath of the Wild is, though, there's no escaping that this game will be available at the same time on both the Switch and the console that Nintendo has just ditched because it didn't sell so good. Sorry if that's all a bit overly misanthropic for your gentle palette, but somebody has to be.
1-2-SWITCH
1-2-Switch is notable for several things; this is the only other first-party physical Nintendo release for the Switch on day one (and the only one not co-developed for the Wii U), it's a two-player party game which makes good use of the Switch controllers, and it's a full price game.
Again, you may ask yourself why Nintendo chose to launch with this rather than, say, one of its other almost-ready games, such as quirky beat 'em up Arms or Mario Kart 8 Deluxe or Splatoon 2, or anything with just a smidge more brand awareness.
Most likely they're aiming for that Wii Sports effect, but it remains to be seen whether pulling a cow's udders, or rattling a box to guess how many marbles are inside, will have the same universal appeal as tennis and boxing. The clue might be in which of these respective activities is televised regularly to audiences of millions.
Again, you may ask yourself why Nintendo chose to launch with this rather than, say, one of its other almost-ready games, such as quirky beat 'em up Arms or Mario Kart 8 Deluxe or Splatoon 2, or anything with just a smidge more brand awareness.
Most likely they're aiming for that Wii Sports effect, but it remains to be seen whether pulling a cow's udders, or rattling a box to guess how many marbles are inside, will have the same universal appeal as tennis and boxing. The clue might be in which of these respective activities is televised regularly to audiences of millions.
SUPER BOMBERMAN R
One of my most-played games on the Super NES, Super Bomberman was a regular fixture in the Digitiser offices back in the day. I dare say that Super Bomberman R will be great - certainly, it'll make fair use of the Switch's portability and multiplayer functions and that.
Whether it's the sort of thing which sells a new console is another matter. Though clearly a significant visual upgrade from the Bombermans (Bombermen?) of old, the gameplay is defiantly old-school. Still, at least it hasn't appeared on five other consoles first, like most of the Switch launch games.
Whether it's the sort of thing which sells a new console is another matter. Though clearly a significant visual upgrade from the Bombermans (Bombermen?) of old, the gameplay is defiantly old-school. Still, at least it hasn't appeared on five other consoles first, like most of the Switch launch games.
SNIPPERCLIPS
Downloadable from the Nintendo eShop on day one, Snipperclips has been bumped up to a launch title from a "launch window" title, following some sort of "positive early reception".
It's a 2D puzzle game where two players can cut bits out of the bodies of each other's character, and use the resulting shape to progress. Note as grisly as it sounds, it's novel and likely very good, but the enthusiastic nihilist in me is forced to question whether anybody exists who is going to rush out to buy a Switch just to play Snipperclips. I suspect the answer to this question is "no... nobody like that exists".
It's weird isn't it? Nintendo must've known for a while now when it was aiming to launch the Switch. Why IS Zelda - a game developed originally for another console altogether - the only major first-party game release on day one? If your hardware is ready before your software... delay the launch. It's really simple. Bad launches are had to recover from. Just ask Microsoft.
It's like sending your kid to school with a couple of slices of bread, because you forgot to buy any filling for their sandwiches.
It's a 2D puzzle game where two players can cut bits out of the bodies of each other's character, and use the resulting shape to progress. Note as grisly as it sounds, it's novel and likely very good, but the enthusiastic nihilist in me is forced to question whether anybody exists who is going to rush out to buy a Switch just to play Snipperclips. I suspect the answer to this question is "no... nobody like that exists".
It's weird isn't it? Nintendo must've known for a while now when it was aiming to launch the Switch. Why IS Zelda - a game developed originally for another console altogether - the only major first-party game release on day one? If your hardware is ready before your software... delay the launch. It's really simple. Bad launches are had to recover from. Just ask Microsoft.
It's like sending your kid to school with a couple of slices of bread, because you forgot to buy any filling for their sandwiches.
SKYLANDERS IMAGINATORS
This came out last year on the Xbox One, PlayStation 4, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and Wii U. Yes... yes... that's really helping to sell the message that the Switch is a next-gen, must-own system.
SHOVEL KNIGHT: TREASURE TROVE/SPECTRE OF TORMENT
Shovel Knight is great, but it's basically a game which looks as if it's running on an NES. Which - in case you need this spelling out - was Nintendo's first console, released in 1983. Also: it's been out on everything else already.
I AM SETSUNA
One of those old-school Japanese RPGs, which never sell that well over here, I Am A Satsuma has already been released on the PlayStation 4 and PlayStation Vita. Again, I'm sure lots of people will buy a Switch just to play this, instead of Breath of the Wild.
In case you need it spelling out: that was intended to be sarcasm.
In case you need it spelling out: that was intended to be sarcasm.
FAST RMX
Sequel to the obscure, but well-received, Fast Racing Neo, which appeared on the Wii U store, Fast RMX is the closest you're going to get to a new F-Zero for now. Might be alright, but they're not exactly giving it the hard-sell.
JUST DANCE 2017
This profound irrelevance - which can be found on every games system in the same way that we all have parasitic mites living on our eyelashes - was released already on the Xbox One, PlayStation 4, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, Wii U and Wii last year. Once again: is this the sort of software Nintendo should've been encouraging on its Switch? Is it? Is it really? No - c'mon. Be realistic, and think: is this going to help sell the Switch?
Are any teenage girls - the likely audience of Just Dance - going to even have access to a Switch at launch? The only people Just Dance 2017 is going to sell to are guilty geek parents who bought the Switch for Zelda, but feel they need to lob a few scraps towards their offspring.
Alright, Just Dance was always going to end up on Switch... but should it have been there on day one? Doesn't it - like the similarly ubiquitous Skylanders - send a message that Switch is just like every other machine?
Switch is going to sell out, because of Zelda. There will be shortages, because there always are. Nevertheless, even with one all-time classic on the machine, even with the machine itself looking to be an appealing blend of handheld and home console, there's no question that a launch line-up with so much un-flashy filler, makes it hard for me to get too excited.
What can the Switch really do? What is it capable of? Sadly, the initial line-up of games doesn't really tell us.
Are any teenage girls - the likely audience of Just Dance - going to even have access to a Switch at launch? The only people Just Dance 2017 is going to sell to are guilty geek parents who bought the Switch for Zelda, but feel they need to lob a few scraps towards their offspring.
Alright, Just Dance was always going to end up on Switch... but should it have been there on day one? Doesn't it - like the similarly ubiquitous Skylanders - send a message that Switch is just like every other machine?
Switch is going to sell out, because of Zelda. There will be shortages, because there always are. Nevertheless, even with one all-time classic on the machine, even with the machine itself looking to be an appealing blend of handheld and home console, there's no question that a launch line-up with so much un-flashy filler, makes it hard for me to get too excited.
What can the Switch really do? What is it capable of? Sadly, the initial line-up of games doesn't really tell us.
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