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LET'S ALL GO TO THE ZOO: A Gallery of Taxidermy Disasters

7/10/2015

5 Comments

 
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The big day is finally here - the day we go to the zoo!

​We've packed our sandwiches, put on our sensible walking shoes, and ensured there are enough umbrellas for everyone.

Quickly now - into the car. The zoo is at least an hour's drive away, and that's if the traffic is on our side! While we're travelling, we can imagine all the amazing animals we're going to see!

WE'RE GOING TO SEE THE SEALS!
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ALL THOSE BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC SEALS. THEY'RE LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN DOGS AND PENGUINS.
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LET'S HOPE WE GET TO SEE THEM DOING TRICKS WITH DEAD FISH AND BULB HORNS! HONK HONK!
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AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE BIG CATS!
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"ROAR!!!" THEY GO. "ROARRRR!"...
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HEY, MRS LION - WE'RE OVER HERE! COME AND ROAR AT US! LOL! SO SCARY!
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CAN YOU IMAGINE IF THE BIG CATS WEREN'T IN CAGES? THEY'D EAT US ALL UP! GOBBLE!
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OH YES - CROCS! LOOKS LIKE HE'S TURNING HIS NOSE UP AT BEING IMPRISONED IN A ZOO! LOL!
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LET'S NOT FORGET TO GO TO THE BIRD HOUSE.
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THEY HAVE BIRDS OF EVERY TYPE AND COLOUR!
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EVEN THIS TYPE AND COLOUR OF BIRD.
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AND DUCKS. QUACK QUACK, MR BIRD!
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THE BEST ZOO ANIMALS ARE THE MANY FOXES...
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SUCH AS THIS ONE.
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AND THIS BRIGHT-EYED FELLOW. T'CHOFF T'CHOFF T'CHOFF T'CHOFF T'CHOFF!
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THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF ANIMALS AT THE ZOO!
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EVEN HORSIES. NEIGH! NEIN!
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AND THIS THING.
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PLUS WHATEVER THIS IS.
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LET'S MAKE SURE WE STOP TO SAY HELLO TO THIS.
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AND THAT.
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LOOK OUT - IT'S A BEAR! ROFL!
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT YOUR ASTHMA INHALER AND WE HAVE TO GO BACK FOR IT? YOU'RE ALWAYS MEANT TO HAVE YOUR INHALER ON YOU. WE'RE NEARLY AT THE ZOO NOW. YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO DO WITHOUT. YOU'LL BE FINE. 
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GREAT. OF COURSE YOU'D PICK NOW TO GET WHEEZY, JUST AS WE'RE NEARLY THERE. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE TOLD YOU - PUT YOUR INHALER IN YOUR BAG?
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RIGHT. FINE. TYPICAL. WE CAN'T EVER HAVE A DAY OUT WITHOUT SOMETHING GOING WRONG. WE'RE GOING HOME. NO - WE'RE NOT COMING BACK HERE LATER. WE'LL JUST HAVE TO GO TO THE ZOO NEXT YEAR. NO USE CRYING - YOU'RE THE ONE WHO FORGOT HER ASTHMA INHALER. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. YOU'VE RUINED THE DAY FOR EVERYONE. 
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
15 STUFFED MONKEYS YOU'LL WISH YOU HADN'T SEEN
​
TOP 10 HEDGEHOGS WITH ATTITUDE
5 Comments
lilock3
7/10/2015 07:30:30 pm

Wow... If I lived near a zoo like this, I'd go there every day! (inhaler or not)

Reply
Johnatron
7/10/2015 10:10:31 pm

At least there is dignity in death

Reply
Stay
8/10/2015 12:25:25 am

When I die maybe I should have myself stuffed, badly, and sat in my favourite chair with a controller in hand ready to greet guests...

Reply
Mr Biffo
8/10/2015 07:33:18 pm

With your legs akimbo.

Reply
Stay
8/10/2015 08:21:32 pm

and no trousers.




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