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IT'S THE christmas 1993 DIXONS CATALOGUE... FEATURING DIGITISER! - guest post by david walford

26/1/2017

34 Comments

 
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For those who struggled to enthuse about video games last year, here’s some ephemera from a more interesting time.

​These eight-pages encapsulate the excitement, and expense, of peak 16-bit era. Graphic designers may gag, but I prefer this visual assault to trendy persons too young to afford their depicted lifestyles.

Also: win the RoboCop 3 car!


This flyer was stolen from The Centre for Computing History, who you might remember as the fine hosts of Digifest 2016. They are basically Dixons... except they neither clear out old stock nor push extended warranties. 

​Go here for the original high-resolution version of this flyer.
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SAVING DISCIPLINE: ENGAGED
Sega are hot, though Street Fighter II keeps Nintendo competitive. The Mega Drive goes for value, with two controllers as standard, but the pack-in games are harder to call.

​I like the scrappy 6 Game Pack, a mix of vintage classics and mouldy oldies. No single title can compete with slick Super Mario, but it probably offered financially-challenged 16-bit initiates more durable entertainment.
​

In today's prices, £149.99 becomes £269.99. I'd think very hard before spending that now, so these flyers were daunting as a child. The Mega CD was pure fantasy, like home ownership, and my saving discipline only stretched to a Master System.

​Nintendo struggled to sell their 8-bit alternative, despite including two controllers, two games, and one zapper for less than a NES Mini.
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NEW!
Here are some astronomical game prices - because cartridges were expensive to manufacture - then some other excuse for Mega CD games. The writers of C&VG only score within a narrow band of excellence, providing sneaky numbers for marketing long before Metacritic. Publishers profited from naive assumptions that 50% to 80% meant above average, rather than crap.

Picture yourself as an early 90s child. It's almost Christmas, and your parents selfishly think that food, rent, and heating are more important than electronic toys, even those which score 93%. You've exhausted your savings to buy the console, so one new game will have to last months.

​These two pages are a minefield, where critics only guide you to the shiny because they aren't paid to dig deeper. So consider yourself lucky if you stumble upon the enduringly excellent Zombies (Ate My Neighbors.)
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CLASSIC REVIEWS AND PLASTIC TAT
Ironically, the classic review section demonstrates the butterfly lifespan of games. The following critical darlings, all less than one year old, are conspicuous by their absence: Sonic 2, Star Fox, Streets of Rage 2, and Super Mario Kart. Even Street Fighter II is old hat, because it's not the £59.99 Turbo edition.

In my Master System experience, game quality bore little relation to price. The Jungle Book, £32.99 in this flyer, is a mediocre endurance test briefly masked by big graphics. Sonic, now reduced to pack-in status, is elegant, though short-lived. Asterix, on clearance at £19.99, is excellent, with tight controls, and a wealth of ideas that reward perseverance past the difficult moments. Best of all remains Wonder Boy III: The Dragon's Trap, but good luck finding that for sale by 1993.

Before making cruel 0% interest jokes about the Amiga, you are invited to buy some overpriced, mostly plastic tat. Dixons, now trading as Currys and PC World, still make their money from accessories and finance.

The only Game Gear I saw was permanently plugged in. The Game Boy was the playground smash, assisted by keen pricing and Tetris. Meanwhile, the CD-i promises the future of home entertainment, but actually delivered Tetris with a £400 premium.
​

I will no longer mock the Amiga, because it was fine, capable hardware. Tragically, it was tethered to Commodore, who were now bundling Dangerous Streets with the CD32, rather than doing something more sensible, like careening downhill in a burning bathtub. Ignoring their antics, used Amiga 500s cost Mega Drive money but offered console conversions for half the price.

​With a subscription to Amiga Power - who cherished good games regardless of age, and upset everyone but readers by giving average games 50% - you were all set for cost-effective entertainment. Though probably too smart for shopping at Dixons.
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FEATURING DIGI!
Hey, kids! Win a prize you can't use, from a film you’re not old enough see, and that you wouldn't want to if you were!

​Yes, that is television's famous Digitiser, offering you the chance to vote for some meaningless award while entering the competition. It's strange to see them sharing space with EMAP, rather than insults.
​

There's no hint of Mr Biffo in the copy. It's just debris in a whirlwind which sucked up movie props, magazines, money, children, adults, Disney, and attitude, then dropped once-hot games with similar haste. Those which live on in fond memories are more impressive for being made in such chaotic conditions.

Some things haven't changed. There's still a scrum of big releases at Christmas, success is mostly measured by short-term numbers, and Nintendo keep asking people to buy Super Mario Brothers again. Sometimes I miss the old excitement, that more rapid pace of change, and the promise of new technology. Then I remember that chilling moment where I seriously considered buying the Amstrad GX4000.

David Walford
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
REVIEW-IN-PROGRESS: RESIDENT EVIL VII (PSVR)
10 BIZARRE MAIL ORDER PRODUCTS
THE MOST RACIST DUKES OF HAZZARD TOYS EVER

34 Comments
DEAN
26/1/2017 10:47:16 am

That even read like copy for Christmas Ad - it was a brilliant nostalgic whirlwind that I didn't want to end. Bravo, Sir!

A friend of mine bought an Amstrad thingy. We were both laughing all the way through the experience, though. Oh, and it wasn't like a couple of Gaddafi's kids either. No he had a job (fixing bikes) and bought and paid for it himself.

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David W
26/1/2017 12:12:09 pm

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it.

Sorry to hear about your GX4000 encounter. At least it was a less expensive mistake than a CD-i, and Burnin' Rubber was good.

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Heeden
27/1/2017 10:43:13 pm

Considering you could pick up a GX4000 for £20-30 with Burnin' Rubber it was a pretty good bargain, especially as the pads could be used in a Master System. I also managed to track down at least 4 other games, Tintin on the Moon was pretty decent, Pro Tennis Tour was good, Mystical was...interesting and No Exit was awful.

Lorfarius
26/1/2017 11:20:40 am

I wonder if anyone ever won that car!

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Mr Biffo
26/1/2017 11:46:56 am

They did indeed. Mr Hairs and I had to pose for a photo with it (and the winners).

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Biscuits the character
26/1/2017 02:09:38 pm

Ha, how old were the winners?

Spiney O'Sullivan
26/1/2017 12:14:39 pm

I'd buy that for a dollar!

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Adam
26/1/2017 11:02:38 pm

I entered that competition at the time! Didn't win it though.

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MrPSB
26/1/2017 11:38:27 am

They were all Dixons when I'd finished with them.

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Scott C
26/1/2017 01:14:03 pm

What did you do with Comet? (fannies?)

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Klone
26/1/2017 12:57:52 pm

Good read that, ta Dave.
I'm no petrolhead, and I'm not going to watch it to check (hell no), but is the Robocop 3 car a matt grey mondeo?

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Mr Biffo
26/1/2017 01:08:20 pm

More or less. I remember it had a roll cage and foam padding inside - and the back seat had been hollowed out, clearly for some sort of pyrotechnic. And they weren't allowed to drive around with the lights on the roof (they could be removed). Very cool though.

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David W
26/1/2017 01:10:40 pm

Thanks. The RoboCop car is actually a Ford Taurus, though "Part Mondeo Man, Part Machine" would have been a great tagline.

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DEAN
26/1/2017 01:22:59 pm

A Taurus is ostensibly a Mondeo.
US version.
I think. Might be a Sierra...

Damon link
26/1/2017 01:33:18 pm

As a graphic designer... that's not terrible. It's part of it's era but at least it's readable.

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Demon
26/1/2017 02:52:20 pm

As another graphic designer...it's shockingly bad, readable only with effort and cluttered and confusing. Personally I have a taste for that kind of thing but it's about the worst layout for a sales catalogue I've ever seen

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Daemon Hill
27/1/2017 06:08:19 am

I am NOT a graphic designer and I think it looks ACE!!!

Spaed Damon
30/1/2017 01:15:43 pm

As neither a graphic designer or a human being, I think it looks hurtmyeyesbad, but I did a chuckle at 0% interest.

Nick
26/1/2017 01:41:28 pm

I used to be so protective of these sales leaflets. Using them almost as a year planner to plot out the years Christmas and birthday presents. Thanks for the nostalgia trip.

P.S. Your right about the graphic style.

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David W
26/1/2017 07:05:43 pm

Cheers. It's much easier to avoid buying duds now, but browsing catalogues then was more fun.

Special Reserve was my next step after the free flyers and catalogues.

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DEAN
31/1/2017 11:01:14 am

OMG! I had completely forgotten about Special Reserve. AWESOME :O)

Just line after line of text written in a standard font and the odd picture of a console jauntily seated here and there. But one of the most compelling things to sit and study....

David, please do this!

Stoo
26/1/2017 03:23:49 pm

"around 360 games centres throughout britain" - oddly vague. Were Dixons unsure as to how many shops they owned?

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Theresa May, MP
26/1/2017 03:58:17 pm

I'll have you know that it is spelt "Britain". Capital B, for Brexit.

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David W
26/1/2017 07:16:26 pm

Considering that Dixons Carphone still can't track stock reliably, I wouldn't be surprised if they occasionally misplaced a shop.

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King of Duckhenrys
26/1/2017 03:28:00 pm

Always nice to see a someone else who appreciates WonderBoy III. What do you make of the new HD remake?

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David W
26/1/2017 05:45:56 pm

I think it's going to be excellent.

The vector graphics took a little getting used to, but the more I see, it's clear that the artists and animators understand the original characters. They are faithful right down to the cigarette-smoking piggy shopkeeper.

I'm not quite so sure about the updated backgrounds. They look great, but the sparse original seems slightly clearer about where characters and platform edges are. It's not likely to cause any significant problems; the extra detail might just end up being a little distracting during the trickier moments

I have no concerns about the controls, movement mechanics, maps, or secrets being compromised in the update. The development diaries show that the original machine code is being reverse-engineered to understand exactly how the game worked.

As for the original game, it would probably now be spoken of like Metroid if the Master System had been popular in the USA. It has expansive, cleverly designed and interlinked maps which open up with each new ability. The controls are tight, with just enough momentum to enforce careful strikes rather than button mashing. It's tough, but rewarding to learn rather than unfair, and lets players grind easier areas when they get stuck. In my opinion, it's better than the original Metroid.

Maybe I'll have to review the remake when it comes out. Unless Mr. Biffo gets there first.

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King of Duckhenrys
27/1/2017 04:08:00 pm

It was the backgrounds that also concerned me, but for a different reason. My imagination had filled in the blank spaces as a kid, so I was watching the video thinking "No wait! That's not what the backdrop of that area looks like!". Then I felt silly because really who's to say what any of the backgrounds should really look like - half of them were blank solid colours or simple tiles.

I'm interested to see how they handle the instances where you can break out of the game screen into the black nothingness. Those are some of my favourite moments of the game. I know Mario had already done similar, but it was so freaking cool!

David W
27/1/2017 07:16:35 pm

I don't remember black nothingness screens, though perhaps I wasn't looking hard enough. I remember the "breaking" moments more as accidentally falling down holes, expecting to die, but instead finding new areas.

There were black backgrounds for the boss fights, but that was probably because the bosses were drawn on the background layer.

King of Duckhenrys
28/1/2017 01:25:05 pm

Yep, the breaking bit is what I'm talking about, you fall through the level into the black nothingness that surrounded it. Making the music go weird when it happened was a nice touch that made you think you'd done something you should have.

cyber razor cut
26/1/2017 04:38:55 pm

Man, Aladdin was so so good. I might emulate that when I get home

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Kelvin Green link
26/1/2017 09:14:13 pm

Gadzooks, £449 for a CD-i. What a shambles.

A friend of mine had Commodore's version, the CDTV. He always seemed a bit embarrassed about it.

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Mr Cheese
26/1/2017 10:48:08 pm

Dicky-Dick-Dixons Dick-Dixons

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Lofty from EastEnders
27/1/2017 11:28:07 am

I'm not a graphic designer from the 1990s but in the 1990s I did have graphic designs on a certain someone. I hope that's okay with everyone else.

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The Original Scott C
27/1/2017 11:32:19 am

Why does it say Kylie Minogue above the Robocop car? Was she driving? We should be so lucky.

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