IF VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS WERE SPOONS - PART 2

Spoons: nature's greatest mystery. What are they? Where do they come from? And just what would video game characters look like if they themselves were spoons? 

Due to the knee-buckling weight of popular demand, we present for you - our lewdest readers - the second part in our immensely popular series... If Video Game Characters Were Spoons...

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10. PAUL PHOENIX (Tekken)

Paul Phoenix is one of the toughs from the popular Namco fighting series Tekken. Consequently, many people wonder what he would look like as a spoon. This is what he would look like as a spoon.

9. CORTANA (Halo)

Here's Cortana - a virtual, blue, hologram lady, and the girlfriend of that ubiquitous helmeted enigma Master Chief. Here we can see what she would look like if she were a spoon. 

8. Q*BERT 

Q*Bert is such a hideous abomination that we can't imagine him as anything other than a depressed orange ball attached to a drooping, flaccid nozzle. Nevertheless, here's how he'd look if he were a spoon.

7. DUG TRIO (Pokemon)

Dug Trio, then. Are they moles? We don't know. We don't even want to know. But we did want to know what they would look like if they were spoons. They would look like this.

6. MAREK (Broken Age)

Marek is the sinister fox guy in Tim Schafer's episodic point and click adventure game, Broken Age. Often while playing that game we'd wonder what Marek would look like were he a spoon. Well, this is what he would look like were he a spoon.

5. ALTAIR (Assassin's Creed)

Altair was most likely to be found fannying around in The Holy Land during the 11th Century, rather than the cutlery drawer of a Chinese restaurant. Nevertheless, were the latter to be the case, here's what he'd look like. 

4. VAULT BOY (Fallout)

You probably know Vault Boy as the smiling mascot of the Fallout franchise. What you haven't known him as - until today - is what he would look like if he were a spoon.

3. BATMAN (Arkham series)

We don't know if Batman has any cutlery in his utility belt. But if Batman were cutlery himself - specifically, a spork (a cross between a spoon and a fork) - this is what he would look like.

2. LINK (Zelda)

Link is a figure who has appeared in many different legends, across countless time zones and lands. In none of those legends has he ever appeared as a spoon. But had he done so, this is what he would have looked like. 

1. M.BISON'S HAND (Street Fighter)

M.Bison is a violent thug, and his hand is more commonly to be found slamming into people's faces, rather than lifting spaghetti out of saucepans. Were things different, however, this is what M.Bison's hand would look like.

FROM THE ARCHIVE:

• IF VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS WERE SPOONS - PART 1
  
• TOP 10 VIDEO GAME SUNSETS
  
• TOP 10 HEDGEHOGS WITH ATTITUDE