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I TOLD THESE SLOTHS MY THOUGHTS SO FAR ABOUT OVERWATCH, AND THEY JUST LOOKED AT ME LIKE THEY WERE SIMPLE OR SOMETHING

25/5/2016

6 Comments

 
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Arriving on the crest of a hype-wave, Overwatch is being pimped as the next big thing in team-based online shooters. 

After a little difficulty actually getting to play the game - thanks for that, massive day one patch - I've now spent a bit of time with the game. Unfortunately, I decided to give my early opinions to a bunch of sloths, and they just looked at me like they were simple, or something...
Sloth, it probably isn't entirely fair to compare Overwatch to Battleborn, but they're extremely similar games, released very close to one another, so it is somewhat inevitable.

​Initial impressions - just off the back of the opening menus, the ease of getting into the game, the training mode - is in Overwatch's favour. What do you think about that, sloth? Is that what you expected?
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It's weird how similar the games are on an aesthetic level, sloth, but there's something a bit homely about Battleborn, whereas Overwatch feels like it has had a ton of money lobbed at it.

Is this the sort of thing you might like, sloth? Do you like your games to be big budget, or more homely? Mm, sloth?
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At this stage, sloth, it's difficult to know which game has the best roster of characters; Battleborn has 25, Overwatch has 21.

​However, the latter groups its characters into classes in a way that's easier to understand. In fact, the whole game is just plain simpler, stripped back to basics, and shoving the gameplay to the fore. Sounds good doesn't it, sloth?
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Sloth, it is really difficult to say why, but Overwatch just feels better to play than Battleborn.

There's no campaign mode in Overwatch - this is purely competitive gaming, sloth - but just in terms of the gameplay, even though they're very similar, Overwatch somehow invites you back.

​Are you looking forward to playing Overwatch, sloth? Might the thought of that stir you at last?
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Graphically, Overwatch also has the edge on Battleborn. Again, sloth, both are bold, cartoony - but something about Overwatch is just that little bit cooler, slicker, more polished. It's more Powerstone to Battleborn's Crash Bandicoot.

Do you like playing cool games, sloth? Do you? Sloth, I said 'Do you like playing cool games...?'. Sloth?
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That said, sloth, a couple of the levels feel a bit sterile and empty; just big chambers, with you running around in the open trying not to get shot.

​I bet you hate getting shot don't you, sloth? I bet that's something you really wouldn't like, with your dumb smirk, and your Liam Gallagher haircut...
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Sloth, what's nice is that earned upgrades seem to be cosmetic, rather than improving skills and gear. This keeps players - at least in terms of the character selections - balanced.

​The edge in a game will come from the player's skill level, not the rewards of the game...

Sloth. Come on. Did you hear all that, or are you too busy thinking about your forthcoming audition with The Beatles?

Please. Just some small sign of acknowledgement. Come on now.

​Please.
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So far, there seems great balance to the characters, sloth. Clearly they've worked hard on this. Even playing as some of the supposedly less combat-specific characters I was able to take down a tank or two.

​Sloth, do you have any comment on that? Anything whatsoever? Anything? You're just going to stare at me smiling like an idiot, are you? Not even going to nod? I might as well be talking to myself.
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There seems to be a fairly limited range of mission types; capture the flag-y things, escort missions - and the usual variations thereupon, sloth...

​Seriously, are you going to do anything other than just look at me with those stupid, vacant expressions?
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It's nice that you can switch characters at your whim, even after the mission has started, and - look... are you sloths even listening, or are you just plain stupid or something...?
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Come on, sloths. Come on - just say something! Please?
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Now what are you doing? What is that?
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FML, sloths.
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
REVIEW-IN-PROGRESS: OVERWATCH (PS4, XBOX ONE, PC)
REVIEW: BATTLEBORN (PS4, XBOX ONE, PC - PS4 VERSION TESTED)
10 PEOPLE, ANIMALS AND THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE ATARI FOUNDER NOLAN BUSHNELL

6 Comments
Kelvin Green link
25/5/2016 07:59:05 pm

Sloth, can Overwatch be played offline, if you're too tight to pay for a PSN subscription? BORT wants to know.

Reply
Wowbagger
26/5/2016 10:40:20 am

Can we all just agree that this stuff is shit and go back to playing proper games?

Reply
RG
26/5/2016 03:56:07 pm

Yes. Yes we can.

Reply
Old Red
26/5/2016 10:53:22 am

This is better than any review I've read of either game and provides more information... plus sloths.

Reply
ChorltonWheelie
26/5/2016 07:24:49 pm

Sloths 1 - Biffo 0

Reply
Chris
26/5/2016 11:49:48 pm

I've learnt two things here:
a) Overwatch is probably better than Battleborn
b) Sloths don't give a shit

Reply



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