
Greetings, dicks. I'm Doctor Ashley Tagg. If you're one of my students, you might know me better as "Doctor Hashtag", although I don't really understand why.
You don't have to tell me that racism is some real bad stuff; I've experienced the racism first-hand on a number of occasions. Indeed, my good friend Professor Graham Inster (the students call him "Professor Instagram" - I don't know why) is one of the worst racists I know.
Honestly, we were hanging out in the baths only the other day, when he did some racism within earshot of a dusky fellow. He also once thought it would be funny to push a plastic dog turd through the letterbox of a Polski sklep, although that's a story best saved for another time.
But what of the video game fighting series Street Fighter, with its depictions of international combatants? Could that be as racist as my friend Graham? Here's a detailed look at some of its fighters. I thank you with all my heart for taking the time to pay attention to this. It really means the world to me.
QUOTE: "You need a workout, comrade! You can´t even see your toes, can you?"
RACISM RATING: 9 RACISMS.
QUOTE: "Peace and tranquility... This is the way of Yoga!"
RACISM RATING: 10 RACISMS.
Interestingly, when the Brazilian program Custe o Que Custar asked people in Spain who the best-known Brazilians were, Blanka ranked third, after the model Gisele Bündchen and the footballer Pelé.
He might be the archetypical "jungle man", but it could've been worse: he was originally going to be an African character, who had been raised by lions.
QUOTE: "This place is a paradise compared to the Amazon!"
RACISM RATING: 4 RACISMS
While Guile adheres to a certain US stereotype, at least he isn't a fat, obnoxious, loud-mouth.
QUOTE: "Mission complete."
RACISM RATING: 6 RACISMS
QUOTE: "What do you eat to get that green? Vegetables? It's veggies, isn't it? I don't hate veggies, but they're no cheeseburger..."
RACISM RATING: 8 RACISMS
QUOTE: "My beauty is absolute. No one will ever come close to me.
RACISM RATING: 6 RACISMS
QUOTE: "Oh, what are you, boco loco? Adding one delicious thing to another delicious thing always equals more deliciousness!"
RACISM RATING: 4 RACISMS
QUOTE: "I am... Juli... a... ? Hawk..."
RACISM RATING: 7 RACISMS
Still... at least he hasn't got bad teeth, even if he does appear to be sporting E-cup breasts.
QUOTE: "The British spirit is an indomitable spirit!"
RACISM RATING: 3 RACISMS