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HOW IT ALL KICKED OFF - by Mr Biffo

28/6/2016

43 Comments

 
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So here's a thing. When I reviewed Kick Off Revival - sorry, Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival - at the weekend, it was entirely in good faith.

​I don't always bother with sports games, but I bought it assuming it'd be an arcade-y, retro-tinged, easy-to-play, old school, football game - precisely the sort of football game that somebody like me, who doesn't really enjoy the sportio of footballio, would like.

It was only once I started playing that it all came flooding back - a testament, perhaps, to how faithfully it recaptures the spirit of the the series. I'd forgotten how, almost 30 years ago, I'd played Kick Off, and not understood the fuss. In fact, I'd actively disliked it.

At the time, I blamed myself, obviously. I mean, I do that a lot. The fact that I didn't like a game, which had received so much acclaim, was probably my fault for not liking football.

And because I didn't like football, I didn't really follow everything that subsequently happened between Kick Off and Sensible Soccer - the full extent of which I only really learned over the past few days, when people started telling me to brace myself, because I'd given Kick Off a bad review...
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HONESTY?
In all honesty, not that much really happened. Dino Dini did read the review - I know this, because he said on Twitter: "Can anyone really take seriously a review that starts off by taking the piss of my name?"

His supporters chimed in:

"Troll review" 

"That immediately flags the reviewer as a moron."

"Any day-1 review of any game that is overly positive OR negative betrays an ulterior motive if you ask me."


I don't mind being called a moron or a troll. In fact, I slightly pride myself on being both, quite deliberately. When I do get irritated is when I get accused of something that isn't true. Of having an agenda or ulterior motive for giving a game a negative review. 

My response to that was typically childish: yesterday's article entitled 'Queer Eye For The Dino Dini'. Which Dino Dini linked to on Twitter: "Hey People, take a look at this amazing piece of journalism". 

Well. It wasn't journalism. It was just some stupid shitpost, that was actually aimed at Dino's rabid fans, rather than the man himself. It was designed to wind them up by being silly and disrespectful, and it made me laugh until I cried. Like the thing I wrote about Notch's hat, or Noel Edmonds' memories, or a day with Palmer Luckey.

Inevitably, there was quite the sense of humour failure on the part of Dino's fans. This sort of thing happened: 

"Digitizer have always been cringe. They come across as a poor man's Charlie Brooker. Painful to read."
​
"Some people (Dino Dini) create timeless ART!!  Some others (you)....timeless SHIT and try to ridicule other's work!! ;) You know who's going to be remembered in the end... ;) *Tip* No one likes shit....even the ones who laugh now! ;)"


Admittedly, valid criticisms of both myself and "Digitizer".

However, last night a couple of people took me to task on Twitter. They were both people who follow me, and may - or may not - be fans of Dino Dini. Regardless, what they said stayed with me.

One of them suggested that my pieces, and Twitter nonsense, read as personal. Another suggested that the last thing the country needs right now is more negativity. Which is true.

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WHAT DO YOU GET?
I get what it's like to feel as if everything is an attack. I've been in that place of hyperaware over-sensitivity.

But there was never more truer a word said than "We don't see things as they are - we see them as we are".

I want to reiterate to Dino and his fans that in not liking Kick Off Revival I had no personal axe to grind.

I had no real sense of Dino's history with the industry - beyond knowing his name, because it's a bit funny - and having a vague memory of playing Kick Off and not getting it. Indeed, in the review I even suggest that me not liking it may be my fault, rather than the fault of the game.

Plus that bit at the end of my review, where I say Dino Dini probably wouldn't read it... I was being serious. I didn't think he would. But that's my frame of reference coming through. If I'm doing something that I love, that I know is truthful to me, then the only review I need is my own. I'm only ever likely to be affected by a review if I've turned in work that I'm unsure about.

​SARCASM?
Still, in light of everything that then happened - and Dino's alleged history - I can see how it might read as sarcastic, or negative, if you're coming to it already feeling under siege. In that environment, I can see how it might feel like a personal attack. It was never intended to be any of those things. It was just me doing Digi as Digi has always been done... 

I honestly didn't think Dino would bother reading my words - not least when outfits far bigger than Digitiser2000 had given it similarly poor feedback. But, well, he did. Just as people said he would.

​Suffice to say, Kick Off Revival - sorry, Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival - has been given a wholesale kicking, and I feel I've inadvertently contributed to one of those feeding frenzies, which I observed - admittedly, with some detachment - when Pudsey The Dog: The Movie came out.

Having now looked at the reception the game has received - almost unanimous trashing, except from its fans - I do feel bad for contributing to that. Not least because Dino, having now read up on it, was evidently very badly bruised from his time in the games industry, and I wish that on nobody.

But what am I to do? I didn't like Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival. I have to say that. I can't soft-pedal in a review. When we make stuff for public consumption there's no way it's ever going to be universally loved, and we have to expect people to have opinions on it. 

The best outcome - for me - is that my work polarises; I'd always rather a tight core of passionate love than a blanket "S'alright". Digitiser has always annoyed and alienated more people than it drew in. And I'm proud of that.

It's not for everyone, same as Kick Off Revival - sorry, Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival - is not for everyone. I don't for a second think the people who hate me and hate Digitiser are wrong. But I do know that the people who love it really love it. And that's enough. There's no point telling Digi "haters" that they're wrong, or morons. You can't make somebody love something, or change their opinion, by telling them they're stupid.

​That's what got the country into the mess it's in right now.

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WHO'S A LUCKY MAN?
The people who love Kick Off really love it. Dino Dini is a very lucky man, just as I am blessed that I have people who support my work on here today, and who have such affection for the work I did 20+ years ago.

Most of us don't get that privilege of being in a position where what we do for a living has such support from the public - and if we sometimes get a kicking for it... well, so be it.

That comes with the territory, and we can always go work in an office, or drive a bus, if it's too much for us, or we're too hypersensitive to be able to handle it.

So, that's that really. Just wanted to say to Dino and his fans that - no - there's no conspiracy here. I hadn't read any other reviews of Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival before I wrote my own. I didn't know the history of the series. I had no ulterior motive or agenda or axe to grind. I simply didn't like the game. And you all did, and that's great. 

I can't speak for the rest of the industry. Certainly, there's a perception of Dino and Kick-Off fans as being a little reactive and touchy... and the prophecies I'd received regarding that turned out to be entirely accurate. I'm not certain it's the healthiest thing to have associated with the game - certainly, if you want to avoid a negative media and social media "narrative".

As a pointer though: I know it's hard when you feel passionate about something to bottle up your feelings, and not let them out - especially in this social media age - but it doesn't help you. It doesn't help the game for you to take people to task for not liking the thing that you love.

And it's only going to get backs up: be glad that my only response was to do some "journalism" which showed Dino getting a makeover from Gok Wan.

That said though... thanks for all the hits: yesterday was the best day on Digitiser since I last wrote about Gamergate.

BLOCK PARTY: THE DIGITISER & TELETEXT FESTIVAL! OCTOBER 1st 2016 - TICKETS ONLY £10!

BUY THEM HERE!

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43 Comments
S Hawke
28/6/2016 11:11:01 am

Surely you mean Mr Biffo's Pudsey The Dog: The Movie?

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Crumb
28/6/2016 11:40:11 am

You realise of course that, in the interest of balance, you need to release Mr Biffo's Pudsey The Dog: The Movie Revival and let Dino call it arse while taking the piss out of your name.

Think about it. This could be the start of a double act...

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David W
28/6/2016 12:21:40 pm

Simon Cowell probably still owns the Pudsey brand. It would have to be called Mr. Biffo's Dog.

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S Hawke
28/6/2016 01:29:49 pm

I'd call it Mr Biffo's The Thing just to be safe.

J Carpenter
28/6/2016 01:50:42 pm

Ahem.

Tane
28/6/2016 05:55:43 pm

I'd pay to see a Gossi The Dog: The Movie

Dan Whitehead
28/6/2016 12:24:59 pm

You know, I'm not even sure Mr Biffo is his real name.

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Tim Bresnan's Heavy Ball
28/6/2016 06:02:53 pm

I heard his name was Biffi Biffo. But the person who said it was drunk.

Clive Peppard
28/6/2016 12:40:57 pm

Dont go changing Biffster!

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favus
28/6/2016 12:52:39 pm

Digitiser? Don't you mean "Mr Biffo's Digitizer"

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Voodoo76
28/6/2016 12:52:44 pm

I thought he would have loved his makeovers the ungrateful bastard, he looked very fetching. I'd almost go so far as stunning.

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James of the North
28/6/2016 01:27:16 pm

Soonds like Dino dini like your review.

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HotSoapyBeard
28/6/2016 01:33:32 pm

I love digitiser even if you're no Charlie Brooker.
In the interest of balance maybe we should have a review of Sensi.. I mean "Jon Hare's Sensible Soccer"

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Stuart
28/6/2016 01:49:44 pm

Well, even Charlie Brooker admits he's a poor mans Victor Lewis-Smith. So you're just a part of the (absurdist?) food chain of life, which we all are, really.

As for "You know who's going to be remembered in the end... ;)", well, that would be you, Biffo, seeing as though we're still here and (until October 1st...?) Teletext is history.

It strikes me as amazing that someone stating a subjective view, can anger a crowd so much; they clearly haven't got too much to worry about in the real world; or at least, they don't allow themselves to see it.

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Alexisms
28/6/2016 03:07:14 pm

Why you no review amiga games!?

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Spiney O'Sullivan
28/6/2016 03:54:38 pm

I also question Biffo's ulterior motives in his reviews. I mean, 72%, really?

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Alice Fever
28/6/2016 03:18:01 pm

I loved Kick Off, Goal, Dino Dinis player manager etc but after releasing this unfinished pile of crap and charging money for it, he deserves all the criticism he gets

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Jaynisaur Griffisaur
28/6/2016 03:50:55 pm

Stuck in the past, almost impossible to control, with a rigidly fixed viewpoint and no sense of foul play.

And the game's not great either. Oho

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Alexisms
28/6/2016 08:40:18 pm

BOOM! You dun a funny and everyfink!

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okeyblokey
28/6/2016 04:29:27 pm

I haven't played Dino's new game. I played Kick Off back in the day, though and just like you, I didn't get it. There were other footy games that I did like; that's the beauty of choice.

I always loved Digi, right from the off, with it's irreverance and candid reviews. And there's the rub. You always gave me your work for free, Dino once charged me for his. You get the repeat business, the bloke with the funny name does not.

Does he see?

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Chillax Man
28/6/2016 04:38:04 pm

Read the first paragraphs then stopped.

Don't beat yourself up Biffomeister. Anyone who has viewed the internet at all, for any amount of time, or indeed followed recent elections, will know that human beings are incompetent idiots.

Rabid fanboys especially are the worst.

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Reversible Sedgewick
28/6/2016 04:51:41 pm

I seem to remember that Origi-Digi's review of American McGee's Alice wasn't a bed of roses either. Look out Sid Meier!

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Mr Biffo
28/6/2016 05:55:56 pm

Oh god. That thing. Yes, attention seekers do seem to rub me up the wrong way...

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Paul Jon
28/6/2016 08:33:18 pm

I think of that review whenever some sub-Burton "but what if Fairy Tales were edgy and/or mental illness was a gothic treat" thing gets released.

An all-time Digi fave, that review!

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Alexisms
28/6/2016 08:41:41 pm

Anyone have a copy of that?

Mr howard
28/6/2016 05:44:57 pm

Have you read Jon Ronson's latest about public shaming, Biff-oss? Some interesting insights into online mob mentality.

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Mr Biffo
28/6/2016 05:55:22 pm

I did indeed. A truly insightful read...

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Kelvin Green link
28/6/2016 06:49:53 pm

If you didn't like the game Biffster, then that's fair enough. It seemed like an honest review to me, rather than a personal attack.

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Dunc
28/6/2016 07:40:09 pm

Maybe he should leave the game industry and make Dinosaur themed ready meals called Dino Dinis Dino Dinners.

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ChorltonWheelie
28/6/2016 08:06:15 pm

"the last thing the country needs right now is more negativity" Aha! Too late now you terrible bastard.

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Darren link
28/6/2016 08:33:03 pm

The first rule of reviewing is to not give a fuck.

That is all...

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Jon
28/6/2016 09:25:22 pm

At the time I type this, Kick Off Revival is the lowest scoring new release (e.g. less than 90 days old) on metacritic by a clear 10 points.

Vice have also called it the worst football game ever.

The fanboys are going to have to either call it quits or start working overtime. Even if they do, I think it's safe to say no sequels for at least the next decade or two. Perhaps Dino needs to diversify and make something that is not only not Kick Off, but isn't football either.

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jawa
29/6/2016 08:48:44 am

Biffo, is it really true that you forgot you hated the original Kick Off games and that you approached Kick Off Revival thinking that it'd be wildly different? That would seem to be a bit of a stretch.

I really enjoy Digi and the wonderfully weird, individual style... but this feels like an episode to get site hits rather than be a review. And, as you say, it has worked. Is that really a win?

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Mr Biffo
29/6/2016 09:34:17 am

Enough with the conspiracy theories, guy! I last played a Kick Off game nearly 30 years ago. I had a vague inkling of not "getting it", but I remember it being popular with people, and approached it hoping it'd be some accessible kickabout. I had no idea of any of the controversy that might be stirred up by not liking Kick Off - because I had no idea there was such a community around it. And I didn't know ANYTHING about Dino's reputation. At all. I've reviewed hundreds, probably thousands, of games. In addition... I've had a life where thousands, probably millions, of things have happened which are more important to me than some football game from 27 years ago.

Obviously, I try to write things on here that are going to bring people in - otherwise what's the point. But if you think me writing about Kick Off was designed to do that then you're way, way, way off the mark. I had no idea what would happen. In summary:

I bought the game in good faith, also because there's a bit of a dearth of games at the moment. Played it. Didn't like it. Reviewed it.

People on Twitter warned me that there might be some backlash.

Indeed, Dino and his fans didn't like that I didn't like it. Called me rude names. Which is fine.. but I felt they were being stupid.

I wrote a cheeky Dino Makeover piece, primarily for my own amusement. Which further irritated Dino and his fans.

In response to that - because I try to write opinion pieces from a place of truth, about things that are on my mind - I wrote an opinion piece about the things that were on my mind... which at the point I wrote it were what I felt was a ridiculous overreaction from the Kick Off community.

The end. No ulterior motive, no axe to grind, no personal stake in it for me.

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jawa
29/6/2016 11:13:44 am

Biffo, don't get me wrong, I've bought the game, too, and I am disappointed with many aspects of it. It definitely needed more development time and it has been released far too early; probably to coincide with the Euro 2016 tournament fever. Dini is aiming to issue free updates, but the damage in terms of bad publicity has already been done. Yep, they got that wrong and I can't defend it.

But... as someone who has said they disliked the original games, I find it odd that you picked it out for review. C'mon, I bet you're still getting hate mail from Amiga fans from the original Digi days... when you start slating Kick Off it's like you invited the hoards to come and plop on your nice new carpet. Err... which I guess is what I'm doing. There's a news headline - "Kick Off Revival ruined my carpet". Ah well, let's abandon this match and shake hands.

Mr Biffo
29/6/2016 11:24:12 am

Well, firstly... I don't just review stuff I think I'll like. That would be dull. But my memories of Kick Off were vague at best. I kind of remember not liking it... but everyone else did, so maybe my memories were wrong. I never go into a review hoping to dislike a game. I was really looking forward to Lego The Force Awakens, and didn't much like that either! Oh well. No offence taken, feller.

Spiney O'Sullivan
29/6/2016 10:03:46 pm

Seems a bit of a stretch. If Biffo was desperate for clicks, why would he go to all the effort of riling up a small number of fans of a niche game when he could just do an article about Gamergate? That usually guarantees about 200 comments per thread.

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Scott C
29/6/2016 10:04:44 am

I'm not really sure why you need to write these sorts of apologist articles. The Dino Dini make-over article was hilarious, and the tone was clear. You would have been better to leave it at that and move along, but perhaps you have more empathy than I do.

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Mr Biffo
29/6/2016 10:26:17 am

For the reason I said above, I guess... I just try to write what's on my mind at any one time. They're for me as much as anything...

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Seano
29/6/2016 03:45:30 pm

Gamergate. Brexit. Kick-Off. What next?

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Alexisms
29/6/2016 04:39:18 pm

A lie down with a cold flannel.

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Seano
29/6/2016 10:21:19 pm

I'm hoping for some nudey lists or features...

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Skanker Fitzgerald
29/6/2016 11:05:05 pm

My God, Dino doesn't half look like John 'Frankenstein's Monster' Clare from Penny Dreadful.

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