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HORRIBLE: 16 MASKED MONKEYS TO GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES

13/11/2015

5 Comments

 
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There may be a lot wrong in Britain, but at least we don't dress up animals for our own entertainment anymore. Unless it's Halloween, or for a funny video on the Internet.

Still, not every nation can be as progressive and sophisticated as the country which gave the world Paddy McGuinness and Dapper Laughs. Indeed, there are some countries where they believe that comedians literally grow on trees.

Although it was outlawed in 2013 - and the performers taken to live in a sanctuary - Indonesia had a long tradition of the Topeng Monyet (or Monkey's Mask) show, where funny little monkey guys are dressed up, chained, and forced to scamper and scurry for the delight of onlookers.

Obviously, it was a truly appalling practice, but as these pictures attest... while there might not be a lot to laugh at, it's also pure nightmare fuel.


PLEASE NOTE: To soften the horror, we've captioned each photograph with quotes from the Donkey Kong Country series.

16. "Take a look inside your banana cave. You're in for a big surprise!"
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15. "Hi, I'm Candy Kong and this is my save point!"
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14. "My bodacious jumbo barrel will take you anywhere on the island!"
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13. "First bees, then ants, now you and those overstuffed alligators are the icing on the cake!"
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12. "I'd rather go on the picnic with your stupid robot than with you!"
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11. "Banana-slamma!!!!!"
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10. "Why couldn't you have disappeared forever instead of my ball?"
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9. "Aye aye, nose nose, throat throat, ablast me hardlies, and shiver me tree trunks!"
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8. "It's hard to believe anybody this cute could have everybody so mad at him."
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7. "Whoa, dudes! My name's Funky Kong!"
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6. "Troff's a pig, Scoff's a hippo, and both are big, slow, and useless."
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5. "Help, Diddy! I've fallen, and I can't get up! Can you pass me a banana, little buddy?"
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4. "That sounded like a zebra having his stripes removed."
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3. "Great jumpin' bananas! The sun's not moving! That can't be good..."
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2. "So what if I've lost a bit of hair?"
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1. "Only one thing worse than a bruised banana... a bruised butt."
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
15 STUFFED MONKEYS YOU'LL WISH YOU HADN'T SEEN
12 LUCKY KIDS WHO COULDN'T BE HAPPIER ABOUT THEIR MARIO FACE PAINTING
10 MAIL-ORDER ADS FROM THE DAYS BEFORE GAMING

5 Comments
J
13/11/2015 12:36:55 pm

This is revolting and not in the slightest bit funny.

Reply
Mr Biffo
13/11/2015 01:00:22 pm

I could not agree more.

Reply
Voodoo76
13/11/2015 03:48:14 pm

I agree with both J and Mr Biffo. I can't believe how backward some countries are in this day and age. Nuke the lot of them and start from scratch.

Reply
Col
14/11/2015 10:42:24 am

I'm taking some comfort in the "outlawed in 2013" bit... but yeah, that's tonight's Silent Hill themed nightmare sorted

Reply
Cc
22/3/2016 03:05:17 pm

Weirdly horrible. How about some pigs in sailor suits, that's something everyone can enjoy. Well, not the pigs obviously.

Reply



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