DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

HOPES FOR THE FUTURE

1/1/2015

19 Comments

 
We've taken a coquettish glance back at the events of 2014. We've upset more or less everyone with our two-part preview of 2015's most promising games. And now we're going to take a final, lewd stride towards the future with our hopes/demands/wishes for the coming year. 

If you'd like to imagine yourself as young Marty McFly, this article is your time-travelling hoverboard of optimistic dreaming. Come, squat yourself astride it, and let us shower you with "chronon particles" (damp kidney beans covered in sputum). 

Picture
AN END TO FREEMIUM

If you'd asked us 18 months ago, we'd have predicted that the entire ugly notion of freemium games would have been throttled and kicked under a caravan by now.

Instead, it has merely evolved, with games firms finding new ways to siphon money from the salty depths of your veiny wallet.

Unfortunately, in the past year or so several perfectly excellent games have virtually been ruined by the depressing practice of charging players for extra content. 

The mobile incarnation of the classic Dungeon Keeper was unplayable unless you were prepared to fork out a small fortune. Likewise, the sequel to Plants Vs Zombies - spoiling what should've been a triumphant second instalment.

BAD APPLES

While we’d just about learned to ignore most freemium games on the Apple Store, the practice has now begun infecting full-price console titles; after paying fifty quid for Assassin’s Creed Unity, Ubisoft hawked its extra content in-game, like a pushy carpet salesperson who wouldn't let you leave his dirty shop until you'd bought a rug. So, not really freemium at all then. 

And it's not just Ubi that's doing it - these days, pretty much every major game release begs you to invest in season packs or extra content. It feels like gamers have become resigned to it, but we're not completely convinced that it's fair.

Admittedly, you can understand why things are going that way, when mobile games threaten to out-profit full-price console titles, but it’s an ugly business model, which exploits our inherent uselessness as a species. If you're going to continue charging us half a month's wages for the core game, this needs to stop immediately. We're weak, and open to exploitation.

Picture
INTERACTIVE STORYTELLING

We don't like cutscenes. There - we said it. But we don't. Sorry. 

We play games because games are interactive. We want to be active participants in a story or an adventure, not passive spectators. We want our gaming experiences to feel like they belong to us and us alone.

We'll optimistically suggest there are signs that the situation is improving, but there are still too many games which attempt to waterboard us with their laboured fiction.

SPRAWL OR NOTHING

The true masters of video game storytelling are Naughty Dog - their games keep the cutscenes to a minimum, and get character across through action. Plus, GTAV, Advanced Warfare, Alien Isolation, and even the aforementioned Unity all keep their cinematics to a minimum, and try to put as much dialogue as possible into the body of the game. However, a swollen, wobbly part of our disappointment with Far Cry 4 was down to its unstoppable cutscenes, and un-engaging plot.

There are exceptions, of course; Telltale games are trying to do something very specific with their narratives, and titles such as Year Walk and the beautiful Never Alone are specifically about story. And please don't misunderstand:  we love a single player experience, and we love games to feel like a journey. And - hey! - if the writing and performance in cut sequences are watchable and entertaining in their own right it can make all the difference. 

But - if you ask us - it goes against the entire reason games are games. These aren't books or films or graphic novels. Use the gameplay and the interactivity, as the primary storytelling tool. Do that, and we'll stop posting you all that maggot-infested meat.

Picture
A NEW APPROACH TO MAP-MOPPING

It feels like we're giving UbiSoft a right drubbing at the moment, but they've taken the structure established by the GTA series - a big, open world, scattered with story missions, side missions, and endless collectibles - and applied it to most of their ruddy games. 

Watch Dogs, Assassin's Creed, Far Cry 4... there's nothing wrong with doing this per se, and there's no denying it'll extend the life of any game, but when players are also going through the same motions in, say, Shadow of Mordor and GTAV, it starts to lose its appeal. 

And half the problem is the fact that so many of the map events feel like extending a game's life artificially - not helped by the fact that you're barely able to distinguish one side mission, or collectible gathering jaunt, from another. 

Only GTAV really manages to keep the things feeling fresh from the other things, by making every encounter original, and keeping the game world feeling alive and interactive. UbiSoft (and everybody else) really needs to pluck a leaf from their bush - and by that we don't mean introducing missions in Assassin's Creed Victory in which you have to prevent your pet dog from humping Jack the Ripper's leg...

Picture
LESS 'HEAVY METAL' GRAPHICS

It all boils down to personal preference of course, but so much game art leaves us cold. 

While we can fully appreciate that Bayonetta 2, Dark Souls and their ilk are beautifully designed and visually accomplished, they sort of feel like interactive versions of old Heavy Metal magazine comic strips. 

Many modern games almost seem over-designed, and it sometimes seems like the games industry has entered its 'George Lucas Special Edition' phase. 

The original Star Wars trilogy had a simple visual language which translated into clean, iconic images, but - as we all know - the second Lucas got his hands on really powerful computer hardware he threw everything at the screen, making it difficult to know what to focus on.  It was like watching an animated Jackson Pollock painting, with the occasional Wilhelm scream and lecture about trade taxation.

Too often, that's what it feels like is happening in today's games, but just because you can do something it doesn't mean you should.

EYESLAPS

What's more, this is happening alongside the glut of militaristic shooters which appear to have been painted in liquid testosterone, scores of tediously identikit driving games, so many Japanese-flecked RPGs, and a curious turn towards photorealistic graphics, in which so much of the visual oomph seems to rely on the graphics' engines ability to render a convincing sunset. Frankly, we're gasping for a game to give our eyeballs a hearty slapping with its clean and original art design.

There are exceptions of course. The Borderlands franchise continues to go its own route, and Sunset Overdrive set itself up as an antidote to a lot of what we're railing against (and often succeeds). Plus, when you see much of Nintendo’s output it’s like opening the curtains on a sunny day, to see an exciting male nude - stood, legs akimbo, outside your window. 


But the truth is, we often have to turn to mobile games to see real visual invention these days; we think there's a reason why 8-bit-esque graphics never quite seem to go out of style. 

Talking of which...

Picture
DIGITISER 2000 TO THRIVE (PLEASE?)

If you'll allow us to be completely self-serving for one moment, we're feeling pretty optimistic about Digitiser2000. We're not exactly in Jim Stirling territory yet - or even close - but enough of you have offered your support to convince us to at least try and stick around, and see what happens.

When Digitiser2000 first got born a few months back we never intended it to be an ongoing project. It was just a bit of fun, a way to motivate us, and give us a break from the day job - with one eye on maybe, possibly, doing some sort of Kickstarter book thing (which is still in the offing...).

We hadn't banked on people welcoming us back with parted jodhpurs, let alone actually ask us to remain "in situ". But, on the suggestion of many of you, in the next week or so we're going to take the plunge and get a Patreon "tips jar" happening. 

GO AWAY

We don't want Digi2000 to go away anymore than you do, so - much as we've struggled with the notion of begging - we've finally swallowed the bitter pill of our resistance to the idea. Unless some other choice presents itself rapidly, we can't really think of another option. But that's okay.

We won't be asking for a lot, initially - just enough to justify the time this takes, and keep the site regularly updated in the way we've been doing thus far. Ultimately it'll be about whether we can cover costs, and pay the bills from Digi rather than other work (selling drugs to tramps). 

REWARDS SEASON

We intend to offer some nice rewards for supporters - though the actual meat and gravy content (ie; more reviews, stupid stuff and articles like this one - albeit without this self-serving bit at the end) will be available to all. We won't hide anything behind a paywall.

However, if we somehow reach - or exceed - our goals, we've got big plans to turn the site into a fully-fledged, sauced-up, Digitiser for the space year 2015AD. We're even thinking about doing a regular podcast. A funny good one.

We appreciate that we're all broke in January, but if you like the site, and want to keep reading it, we'd love your support (money). If you can't afford to, or don't want to for some reason (you hate us), that's fine too, and we'll only be slightly offended. 

Frankly, we're crapping ourselves... not through fear - but fun! We'll keep you all posted.

Picture
Hey. I'm "Hipster" Gulliver, and I just arrived here on my purple unicycle, fresh from the launch of  'Genocide Salad' - the new gourmet pre-packed M&S sandwich restaurant I opened in Dalston with my best friend Jonty Pippin. At our establishment, you can eat a pre-packaged M&S sandwich for twice the price you can get them in M&S - except with us you'll be surrounded by old fashioned TVs and Etch-A-Sketches showing footage of Kim Jong Un, with kittens superimposed over his face. Do you know where I can buy a ukelele? Only, I recently came into possession of a sticker that reads "I hate ukeleles", and they'd be the perfect bedfellows. You see: irony.
   /

19 Comments
Thommo
1/1/2015 12:08:33 pm

I'll happily Patreon, whatever the fuck that is. As long as I can pay via PayPal then lovely.

Reply
Mr Biffo
1/1/2015 12:41:30 pm

I do believe you can. Thanks, guy!

Reply
Chris link
1/1/2015 12:44:46 pm

This.

Also: I know people hate them, but how about running some ads discreetly down the side of the page? They would likely be sufficient to pay general day-to-day costs (hosting, domain, etc).

Reply
Mr Biffo
1/1/2015 12:55:18 pm

We've thought about it, but we're not sure we have enough readers yet to make something like AdSense pay - so it might not be worth it given that, as you say, people hate them.

But... it IS worth considering. It might be a necessary evil to help keep it going. We're very conscious of offering value for money, and not looking like money-grabbing monsters.

Lightfinger
1/1/2015 12:25:07 pm

Up for some of that patreon action too. Hopefully 'extras'

Reply
Mr Biffo
1/1/2015 12:42:01 pm

We'll extra you up good.

Reply
James
1/1/2015 12:37:59 pm

HELLO MR BIFFO DO YOU REMEMBER ZELDA ON THE GAME BOY THAT WAS GOOD WHY NOT JUST PLAY THAT? BYE

Reply
Mr Biffo
1/1/2015 12:42:39 pm

We don't know what any of those things are!!!!?

Reply
James
1/1/2015 12:47:45 pm

I WILL FAX YOU A PICTURE OF THEM IF YOU LIKE.

Reply
Mr Biffo
1/1/2015 01:00:21 pm

12345678910!!!

Reply
Leigh
1/1/2015 01:24:55 pm

Happy New Anus, Biff Biffson!

Frisk me up for your Patreon masterplan. I'm good for at least £1.50.

Reply
Mr Biffo
1/1/2015 01:33:42 pm

Thanking you, fine one. That is highly, highly appreciated. Happy New Drear' to you too!

Reply
FEoD link
2/1/2015 03:31:38 am

Due to Science Gone Wrong, I have an extra spleen that I will gladly donate to you.

Or use this Patreon thing, whichever is less messy...

Reply
Mr Biffo
2/1/2015 05:53:37 am

FEoD, you are our new best friend.

Reply
Lezzer
2/1/2015 08:32:00 am

Count me in for some Patreonising. Just don't ever leave me again, else I'll come looking for you and your bins.

Reply
Mr Biffo
3/1/2015 09:30:53 am

Cheers, Sir Lezz!

Reply
Hump
2/1/2015 04:49:42 pm

Seeing as how I flat out stole Mr T's Problem Page & used it in a dastardly scheme to make myself seem amusing to a group of strangers, I feel I should probably contribute in some way. Time for a good, hard Patreon.

Reply
Mr Biffo
3/1/2015 09:30:35 am

Mr Hump - by all means bask in our reflected glory. And thanks for the Patreon-ing!

Reply
George
4/1/2015 05:44:01 am

Valve set the bar for cutscenes with Half Life. Using the in-game engine avoids ripping you out of the immersion, You could choose to stand there gawping at your fellow characters prattling on about the story, or you could muck about and knock stuff over (and get reprimanded for doing so).

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Picture
This site Copyright Paul Rose 2016 - All images Copyright respective copyright holders
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ