Video Games without all the boring bits

GAMING SPEEDNEWS - With Comments from "Baz" Feed

21/1/2015

"I'm Barry Feed. I'm young. I believe I'm sexy. I've got no attention span. You gotta move fast to keep me interested. Lists... Lists! Lists that tell me about myself, and bullet-point news. This is how I digest things now.

"Hurry! Hurry up with your game news - my microwave chicken pad thai is nearly ready, and my unicycle won't ride itself around the office! HURRY UP!!!! MOVE, PEOPLE! ENGAGE ME!!"

+++ ITEM! Ok. Ok... So... The Writers Guild of Great Britain Award for best writing in a video game has this year gone to Meg Jayanth for iOS interactive steampunk novel 80 Days.

"Way too many words. Faster. C'mon! I got other websites to read!"

+++ ITEM! Alright, alright! How about... Nintendo's flagship customer rewards program, Club Nintendo, will be gradually closed down throughout this year, finally ending in September.

"That was more or less the same number of words! You're blinding me with detail. Must do better!"

+++ ITEM! Oh god... Ok. Right. Everyone who pre-orders the PC version of Grand Theft Auto 5 - due in March - will be given one of 11 free games from Rockstar's back catalogue.

"You're losing me here. Clock is ticking. C'mon! Keep my interest!"

+++ ITEM! Borderlands 2 and Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel are coming to next gen systems in a special HD bundle, including all DLC. 5,000 limited edition box sets come with a remote controlled Claptrap robot.

"What's going on? That's more words than all the rest! Words are boring. But you got me for another 30 seconds while my organic chai latte cools down."

+++ ITEM! Old LucasArts games now available on GOG.

"That's more like it! Now we're getting somewhere!"

+++ ITEM! Sony has applied a 10% discount this week to all Playstation Network users who were affected by the service's Christmas - "

"Wait. Forget it. You lost me. I've been on this website way too long. I'm off to post pictures of skinny jeans on Tumblr. You're dead to me."

10 Comments

Nancy

21/1/2015 02:23:36 am

HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this esangopriest@gmail.com indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is esangopriest@gmail.com

Super Bad Advice

21/1/2015 02:36:24 am

Biffo: Please do a Ring Sir! with the esango priest!

Mr Biffo

21/1/2015 02:47:41 am

Already ahead of you. Project: Esango Priest Ring-Sir! is a go...!

Nicky

21/1/2015 03:05:30 am

I bet Esango Priest is Mr T in disguise.

Bruce Flagpole 1138

21/1/2015 04:18:33 am

I had to read a few lines of that to be sure it was a 'bot and not just one of the usual 'crazies' on here! :) I mean that in the best way though.

Nancy link

21/1/2015 07:08:22 am

Yeah as if anyone is really called "Bruce".
More likely that you're the 'bot (Robot the Bruce in fact) trying to put us off the scent, eh? Eh?? EH???

22/1/2015 02:47:35 am

With thanks i am nice well and Nancy are too i wish. I read with great interest your article and the indigenous points you raised. There is no Bruce Robot only you should like these trainers, nike trainers here, they are shop less expensive they will make you fly of foot and your runs will be plenty.

Picston Shottle

21/1/2015 07:34:33 am

I think Barry Feed may well be my boss; he has a a less is more, bullet-pointed management style.

Esango Priest

21/1/2015 09:24:13 am

Hey cats. I'm the Esango Priest. Indeed I am a priest, of the Esango flavour. If you should need to 'Esango Up' your life or learn how to utilise the power of the pyramids, or just fancy some priest-based chat, please contact me at the above mentioned email address. No vicars.

21/1/2015 02:38:06 pm

I think I'm just going to open the floodgates to more spam. It'll save me having to write the site.

GAMING SPEEDNEWS - With Comments from "Baz" Feed

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