DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

GAMING SPEEDNEWS with "Baz" Feed

23/4/2015

5 Comments

 
Picture
'Sup! I'm Baz Feed. You know me: I'm that guy you see wearing the rolled-up hems, and espadrilles with no socks, swaggering along like I own the world. Let's face it: I'm young, I'm dapper, I got swag, I listen to bands you've never heard of - my generation practically do own the world. Why don't you do us a favour, grandad... and strangle yo'self? LOL out loud!

My life is packed. I got an alt.jazz-hop music festival to go to. I gotta get some sort of ambient (but not too boring) playlist together for my cousin's funeral. And I'm only halfway through writing up the business plan for my new pop-up shop that sells aural wind sculptures made out of old vinyl post-punk records. Music from music. It's the Circle of Life, guy.

I don't have time to read each and every thing:
 I take all my information in list form. Hit me with some game news. GO! Go. GO!

+++ ITEM! The British Film Institute has revealed that more than £14 million has been invested in new games since the government last year introduced tax breaks for UK-based developers.

  • That's too much detail! British Film Insitute? Why not just say "BFI" or "some guys"? Gotta do better. Come on, let's go - I'm reading this while waiting on a skinny flat white! Or an "SFW" as everyone calls them. Sweet.

+++ ITEM! The price of the PS4 has been cut by many retailers to under £300, in the wake of Microsoft doing the same with its Xbox One. Sony has announced an official, temporary, cut to £299.99, but the deal runs out on April 28th.

  • Jesus wept, maaan. That was like reading some well boring loser's politics and sociology dissertation. What are you trying to do - tedious me to death?! News? This is more like SNOOZE! Amiright? Let's sex-up this zzzzzzz-o-rama! Sex-xxx-sexxxy-news-time!

+++ ITEM! Games industry market research firm Newzoo is predicting that worldwide revenue from video games will leap almost 10% this year, bringing in around $91.5 billion.

  • What is this - game news... or The Annual Conference of Well Boring Shiz? I think my attention-span just self-harmed. Fo' real, bitches.

+++ ITEM! New figures show that only 2.4% of YouTube gaming viewing is via official company channels - the remainder comes from unofficial Let's Play videos and that.

  • What was that? Why don't you just save us all some time, drool on a sheet of cardboard, and try to pass that off as your so-called news? Make me care. Trim the fat (note to self: gotta get that printed on a t-shirt).

+++ ITEM! The latest patch for Bloodborne has reduced loading times by between "5 and 15 seconds".

  • Not interested. Not even played it. I don't have time to play games, unless they're games I can play while riding my long-board (it's got a built-in selfie stick, and a custom decal on the footplate that says "This is not a longboard" - ironic LULZ out loud!).

+++ ITEM! The May update for the Xbox One's Master Chief Collection features the full ODST campaign.

  • ODST? What does that stand for - "over-dosing on shizzle time wasting'. 'Cos that's what's happening to me right now. The depth of my engrossment just swallowed a handful of pills, guy. So what? Suicide is well modern.

+++ ITEM! Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliffe and Bill "Game Over, Man" Paxton have been confirmed to star in the BBC's upcoming GTA drama.

  • Yeah, whatever.

+++ ITEM! Here's a list of things you can't say on GTA V's text chat.

  • Ha ha! That's more like it, guy. "Swastika tits"! Well ROFLMAO out loud! Wait until I use that one at work - they're gonna laugh so hard they'll make me their effing god.
5 Comments
Dr Roosterlegs
23/4/2015 08:49:29 am

What are those brown things either said of Baz's lips? Is he wearing a false mouth held on with elastic? If he is then I want one.

Reply
CallMeDave4
23/4/2015 10:16:21 am

>"aural wind sculptures made out of old vinyl post-punk records. Music from music"
Holy effing jeffing!
While this flippancy probably bubbled up from your aged memories of The Stranglers, it's immediately better than 99% of the guff out there. I'll round up some vinyls from flea markets in working class areas (which therefore haven't been picked clean by hipsters) and you grab a blow torch.

In other news, it's great to see Digi back. I almost did a cry.

Reply
Old Red
23/4/2015 05:13:26 pm

brb need to rofl

Reply
Frank. Chickens
24/4/2015 02:42:44 am

Hot news beamed straight to my melting eyeballs! This is where it's at man!

Reply
gaijintendo
24/4/2015 01:22:38 pm

I much prefer Australian Masterchief - the judges are way more constructive, and have more credentials between them. It seems more of a success when they win than the British version.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    May 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ