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FAR CRY 5: ASK-ME-DO

5/1/2015

10 Comments

 
We seem to be blathering on a lot about Far Cry and we really wish somebody would make us stop. 

But what can we do? While we may have been a bit disappointed with the fourth instalment in the series - mountains and elephants aside, it was just too much like trudging through Far Cry 3 all over again - the series remains one with a sweaty overabundance of potential. And, it seems, UbiSoft feel the same way - but they aren't prepared to rest upon their laurels (or, indeed, their hardies) just yet.

According to Eurogamer, the firm recently sent a questionnaire to its customers asking what they'd most like to see in the next instalment of the series. Judging from the choices, they're looking to stretch the series' remit much further than it has gone before, into ever more average areas. 

The options are:

  • A Far Cry game set in Alaska about surviving extreme wilderness.
  • A Far Cry game set in a future, sci-fi setting on an alien planet.
  • A Far Cry game set during the Vietnam War.
  • A Far Cry game set in the cocaine trafficking jungles of Peru.
  • A Far Cry game where you can fight against or join vampires.
  • A Far Cry game in a Wild West setting.
  • A Far Cry game that takes place during a zombie outbreak.
  • A sequel to Blood Dragon (the excellent Far Cry 3 non-sequel inspired by cheap and nasty 1980s sci-fi movies).
  • A Far Cry game set in a post-apocalyptic world, Mad Max-style.
  • A Far Cry game set on a Jurassic Park-style island full of dinosaurs.
  • A Far Cry game based on the world of Shangri-La from Far Cry 4.

We'll say this: we definitely don't want the one set in Shangri-La. For the most part, those sections of FC4 were an enormous chore, and a distraction from the main game. It felt like going to the pub for the evening, but having to intermittently catch a moth before you could get back to your drinking.

The Peru/cocaine-trafficking, Alaska,  and Vietnam War ones sound like just more of the same. And if we'd wanted to survive an extreme wilderness we'd have been born a Bear Grylls ("Mmmmynoms! Watch me as I do a poo in this hollowed-out camel's face and save it for my dinner!")

Not sure we fancy the vampires either - enough with those guys already. And haven't we all gorged on more than our fair share of zombies and post-apocalyptic settings? The Wild West is always appreciated, but Red Dead Redemption was pretty much the final word there. What can Far Cry 5 bring to the table, other than The Wild West with transmitter towers?

Dinosaurs might be a nice addition to the series, providing there were more new ideas in the mix - otherwise it's just going to feel like all the other Far Cry jungle romps, but with bigger animals.  And while we're in the process of trashing all the other ideas, we might as well rule out a sci-fi setting too: that just feels like a stretch too far for the series. We've already spent too much of our life roaming around other planets in Destiny, thanks.

MARTIN SHORT

So, in short then: none of those ideas sound particularly exciting or original. Sorry to be relentlessly pessimistic about it, Ubisoft, but that's just the kind of guys we are - ie; real awesome guys.

As a result, we would like to offer you five alternative settings of our own. Here they are now:

  • A Far Cry game set in a Narna or Oz-like universe, featuring a main character armed with weapons and gear from the 'our' world. Ie; you'd be able to take down flying monkeys with a shotgun ("boo-ya") - a grand pile-up of reality and fantasy.
  • A Far Cry game set in a lost world atop a South American plateau surrounded by clouds and mist, where evolution has taken its own course. Think King Kong/Skull Island. Nobody doesn't like shooting giant monkeys.
  • A time-travelling Far Cry game whereby characters journey back-and-forth between the same location in both modern day and Medieval settings. Or Biblical times. Or whatever. Also - make sure there are loads of monkeys to shoot.
  • A Far Cry game set in an environment ravaged by a natural disaster; earthquake, flood, tornado, disease, or some such. If that's not too distasteful. You could even have monkeys in it somehow - maybe they escaped from a zoo. We dunno, but we do know they'd be big fun to shoot at and encounter.
  • A Far Cry set inside a giant soft play gym that's been invaded by a mix of angry and cheeky monkeys, and is lorded over by Chimpus 7, the monkey emperor.

See? Those are the best ideas of all time. Coming up with ideas for games is well easy.
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10 Comments
Mr Smith
5/1/2015 09:07:57 am

How about a Far Cry set inside the body of something else? Like a sloth, a dodo, a quagga, a trilobite, or a giant handsome crab?

Too far you cry? Not far enough I say.

Reply
Super Bad Advice
5/1/2015 11:11:11 am

The time travel/monkey shoot sounds a lot like the much missed Timesplitters 2. That was excellent for satisfying ape destruction lust.

Reply
kelvingreen link
5/1/2015 11:32:02 am

"A time-travelling Far Cry game whereby characters journey back-and-forth between the same location in both modern day and Medieval settings. Or Biblical times. Or whatever. Also - make sure there are loads of monkeys to shoot."

So an open world TimeSplitters 2 then? That would be excellent!

Reply
gaijintendo
5/1/2015 12:43:46 pm

You start out as an 8 year old, throwing stones at cars the other side of the park, but when you get home, your dad beats you because you hit a friends car.

The rest of the game is a mix of learning to walk again, forgiving yourself and joining society as an independent, well adjusted human, age 12.

You move in with an old lady you befriended at the train station.

Most of the time you are looking out for your dad, hiding in bushes, avoiding eye contact, and collecting lost caches of porn in the woods.

Reply
Mr Biffo
5/1/2015 12:59:21 pm

These are literally all better than our ideas.

Reply
demondownload
6/1/2015 03:01:03 am

The "Martin Short" header just made me wonder why there's never been an InnerSpace videogame.

Oh no! A man has been infested with scientifically-shrunk monkeys, and now you've got to go in and clear them out! With harpoons or something. Unlock "radio towers" ("organs") to slowly gain control over your gargantuan host and hunt down the people (or... monkeys?!) responsible for his infection.

Reply
Chris link
6/1/2015 04:31:40 am

Wasn't Microcosm basically an Inner Space videogame?

Reply
Mr Biffo
6/1/2015 02:35:07 pm

You beat me to it...

FEoD link
6/1/2015 03:59:53 am

Far Cry,with dinosaurs, but set on the moon, which is the base of operations for a marauding band of monkeys who worship Andy Serkis in his blue gimp suit and ping pong balls.

No. Wait... How would the dinosaurs breathe? Forget it too far fetched...

Reply
Mr Biffo
6/1/2015 02:36:04 pm

You could sell the game with the slogan "All the fun of the 'Serkis'".

Reply



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