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EXCITING NEWS  ROUND-UP with comments by Insincere Dave

6/1/2015

5 Comments

 
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STEAM CLEANING UP
According to a report on VG247 (it stands for "Very Good - 247 days a year"), Steam - that online software distribution platform, which Valve seemingly spends all of its time fannying around with instead of releasing Half-Life 3 - is doing real good. 

Apparently, it gained roughly 8.47 million concurrent users across December last year, and 8.512 million on January 4 this year. This is a new and vertigo-inducing high for the service (which, depending on your preferred definition, is named after the misty vapour produced by boiling water, or is another word for being irked and angry).

The most played game on Steam is DOTA 2, with around  835,000 players. This is followed some way behind by Counter-Strike: Global Offensive with 398,000 players. 

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INSINCERE DAVE SAYS: "Well done to everyone at Steam!!!! I'm sure your success is much deserved, and I can't wait to see what games appear on your brilliant service next!!! I'm sure I'm not alone in hoping you hold off on Half-Life 3 as long as possible, so you can really focus on ensuring your brand becomes the best delivery method for controversial murder-fantasy games developed by alleged neo-Nazis in the world!!!!!"

PS4 CLEANS UP
Sony has announced that the PlayStation 4 has sold a nude and impressive 18.5 million units worldwide. The console took a particularly lewd stride over the Christmas period - sales were still standing, knees touching, at a "mere" 13.5 million units at the end of October 2014.

Though Microsoft has yet to reveal up-to-date statistics for its Xbox One, it is speculated that the console remains behind the PS4 overall, but that the gap is narrowing. 10.5 million Xbox Ones had been shipped worldwide by November 2014, with figures showing it outshone the PS4 in the US market, for the first time last November.
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INSINCERE DAVE SAYS: "Something I really love is news stories full of sales figures!!! I can't be the only one for whom learning the minutiae of corporate statistics is the most exciting that can happen!!!!! I just wish there were more graphs in this thrilling story!!!!!! Then it would be like an exciting adventure movie - but with statistics!!!!!"

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KICKSTARTER CLEANING UP
Rabblefunding website Kickstarter has revealed that it raised over $529 million for its many various projects last year.

Games was the fourth most popular category on the site, with almost 2,000 projects successfully funded for a total of $89.1 million.

The third most popular campaign on the site was for the game Kingdom Come: Deliverance, described by its happy and suddenly wealthy creators as a "Realistic single-player RPG set in the medieval Europe". To date, the game has raised a staggering £1,106, 371.

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INSINCERE DAVE SAYS: "A realistic single-player RPG set in the medieval Europe? I love the medieval Europe!!!!!!!!!!!! The medieval Europe is the best of all the Europes!!!!! And hey - thanks for furnishing us with even more statistics, Kickstarter!!!! If I've got any readers left after all this, I'm going to hit them up for my new crowd-funded random statistics-generating software!!!!!"

5 Comments
FEoD link
6/1/2015 05:14:47 am

I know shipping doesn't equal sales, but I'm still surprised that there are potentially 10.5 million members of the weirdly specific focus grouped target audience for XBone, that wants to be spied on all the time at home, while socially commentating on streaming American Football matches, and not buying and second hand games or whatever its USPs were supposed to be...

Reply
Mr Biffo
6/1/2015 02:17:21 pm

Well, technically - without the Kinect - they're no longer being spied on. As far as we know...

Reply
Mike Jones
7/1/2015 12:02:15 am

To be fair, the most aggravating decisions were reversed, and the social nonsense is equally applicable to the PS4 (I'm yet to press the 'share' button on my PS4 controller, and I'm not really sure what it even does).

I did see Bill Gates looking through my front window once, but upon closer inspection it was just a pile of rags.

Reply
Cf
6/1/2015 10:20:59 am

I much prefer the new look insincere dave compared to the old one???!!!!!!

Reply
Mr Biffo
6/1/2015 02:21:34 pm

He loves you for saying that...!?!??!!!!!!

Reply



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