DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

EXCITING GAME NEWS - With comments from The Living Bum

8/1/2015

12 Comments

 
Picture
MARCH OF THE OLD THINGS
Real-big-fun gaming place Polygon has reported this quasi-interesting fact: more than 2,000 old games are now available to play for free and online, courtesy of Internet Archive.

The somewhat difficult-to-navigate website in question has made this free-me-do games jamboree possible using an EM-DOSBOX in-browser emulator. 

We don't remotely know or care what any of that means, but - nevertheless - if you've missed playing the original Prince of Persia, Wolfenstein 3D, or Sega's MegaDrive version of Aladdin, now is your chance to inhale some major retro LOLZ. Also available is The Oregon Trail, one of a select few games to feature dysentry as an end-of-level boss.

Of particular interest to perverts, the site also features a selection of old, really awful, "glamour" games - perfect if you're a particular fan of indistinct, pixellated bottoms. Personally speaking, we don't go in for that sort of thing...

Picture

THE LIVING BUM SAYS: "I, like most sentient derrières, am a big fan of nostalgia. My masters and creators, XENOXXXtm Industries, have invented the XENOXXXtm Cool Gaming Nostalgia-Matic. 

"Just buckle a friend or loved one into the base of this built-to-order metal trough, using the thick leather straps, and instigate a potential overload of gaming nostalgia, by hammering on the sides of the trough with the flat of your hand and trilling the following mantra: '8-BIT! 16-BIT! TIME-TO-DIE!'"

YO! TAKE IT JAPAN-EASY
In a breathtakingly massive demonstration of something probably quite important, it has been revealed that Japan's traditional video game sales hit a 24 year low in 2014, according to Japanese gaming Jeremy Famitsu.

Though the country's console market has known to have been in a slow decline since 2007, Famitsu's thrilling figures don't take into account digital sales, PC or mobile games - all areas which are expected to have seen growth.

The biggest-selling Japanese game of 2014 was 3DS title Yo-Kai Watch 2: Ganso and Honke, whatever that's supposed to be, narrowly beating Pokemon Omega Ruby and Sapphire 2.
Picture
THE LIVING BUM SAYS: "In happier news, my American counterpart at XENOXXXtm Industries USA - The Living Fanny - can report that we have  seen excellent sales statistics for last year. 

"Our top-selling product was the XENOXXXtm Cool Gaming Swan - simply encourage a friend or loved one to sit upon this aluminium, swan-shaped seat, then stand back and wipe the tears of mirth from your eyes as they are glued to the spot with a sharp electrical current, before the swan's head rotates fully around, and cranes forward to repeatedly insert a hot dabber in their mouth!"

MONUMENT VALLEY: THIEVED
Developer ustwo has tweeted to reveal that its sublime mobile puzzler Monument Valley is being stolen by loads of real bad people. Apparently, 95% of all installs on Android, and 60% on iOS, were not paid for. The data suggests two things: 1) Thieves are real and every bit as evil as everyone suspected, and 2) Apple owners are slightly less evil and dishonest than Android users.

Speaking to Recode, Monument Valley producer Dan Gray belched: "The best way I like to think about it is, the majority of those users probably wouldn't have bought the game anyway, so it's not like we're losing revenue. And of course, I'm sure some of those users have recommended the game to friends who maybe aren't as tech-savvy as they are. It's essentially free marketing."

What a strange man.
Picture
THE LIVING BUM SAYS: "Coming soon to a shop near you - the XENOXXXtm Cool Gaming Phone! Buy this mobile communication device for a friend or loved one, and reduce yourself to terrifying coughs of laughter as it burns their hand, ears and throat with its custom-designed heating coil, before inexplicably disgorging a generous pint of thick, tainted, pearlescent brine all down their arm!"

12 Comments
Rivhard Hugues
8/1/2015 06:08:11 am

The living bum makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.

Reply
Mr Biffo
8/1/2015 06:26:33 am

Dare I ask in what sense...?

Reply
Rivhard Hugues
8/1/2015 06:52:44 am

I don't really know, maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something.

Dustbin Hoth-Man
8/1/2015 07:04:33 am

Probably the faint shadow of, er, is that... are those... testicles?

George
8/1/2015 06:42:21 am

I like it, it reminds me of my dog's face. Minus the eyes, nose, ears, whiskers and affectionate panting.

Reply
Ziggy
11/1/2015 11:10:28 am

Indeed. When I first saw it, I thought it was a close up shot of Gossi the Dog. He's even got his tongue hanging out. Giving us the gossipy news.

Party Killer
8/1/2015 08:21:37 am

I'll be honest the living bum is my least favourite character. Is it the balls? Maybe. Is it imaging what it's voice would sound like? Maybe. Am I aroused anyway? No (Yes).

Reply
FEoD link
8/1/2015 08:42:41 am

I like to imagine its voice sounds like Peter Falk...

Reply
Party Killer
8/1/2015 08:52:43 am

Does that mean one of its balls is glass? Gosh I hope so.

Rivhard Hugues
8/1/2015 11:51:45 pm

Are they balls? I thought it was a moustache

Reply
George
9/1/2015 04:36:08 am

It *is* a moustache.

A bum-fluff moustache.

Mr Biffo
8/1/2015 01:51:45 pm

Poor Living Bum... :-(

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    May 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ