PICKLED HYPERKINS
Hyperkin, the company behind multi-format console emulator thing the Retron 5, is working on a device that will turn smartphones into an old-school Game Boy, sort of - having announced it initially on April Fool's Day, seemingly as a joke.
Had there not been a degree of genuine interest in the Smart Boy, Hyperkin would've kept secret the fact that it had actually been toying with making the device for real.
A post on the company's Facebook page states: "A lot of you were speculating that the Smart Boy is an April Fools Joke. Well, it sort of was. We 'leaked' it with the initial intent of testing the market, seeing whether or not it should be something we'd actually make, under the guise of an April Fools Joke. Looks like you awesome folks ACTUALLY WANT IT, so the Smart Boy is now in development!"
Hyperkin, the company behind multi-format console emulator thing the Retron 5, is working on a device that will turn smartphones into an old-school Game Boy, sort of - having announced it initially on April Fool's Day, seemingly as a joke.
Had there not been a degree of genuine interest in the Smart Boy, Hyperkin would've kept secret the fact that it had actually been toying with making the device for real.
A post on the company's Facebook page states: "A lot of you were speculating that the Smart Boy is an April Fools Joke. Well, it sort of was. We 'leaked' it with the initial intent of testing the market, seeing whether or not it should be something we'd actually make, under the guise of an April Fools Joke. Looks like you awesome folks ACTUALLY WANT IT, so the Smart Boy is now in development!"
THE METAPHORICAL FOX SAYS: "You so want me to comment don't you? But you fear me. Am I even here, or am I just a projection of your guilt-ridden subconscious? My comments could prove your unravelling. You glimpse me between the trees, in the frozen food aisle, at your grandmother's funeral... shivering atop the casket, laying a big, white egg, peering at you through the crematorium curtains.
"What does it mean? So mysterious! So enigmatic! Why am I even a fox, the most filthy and disgusting of all the animals? What does the egg represent? Could it be... that I am... YOU?!
"But then - PAFF! - you blink, you wonder, and I am gone. Was I ever there? Was I real? Was I not just representative of something more, something obtuse and cryptic - your fear that you don't even deserve a Game Boy emulator for the phone that you never used to call your dear, dead granny? And now it is too late... PAFF! And a-RING-DING-DING-DING-DINGERINGDING!"
"What does it mean? So mysterious! So enigmatic! Why am I even a fox, the most filthy and disgusting of all the animals? What does the egg represent? Could it be... that I am... YOU?!
"But then - PAFF! - you blink, you wonder, and I am gone. Was I ever there? Was I real? Was I not just representative of something more, something obtuse and cryptic - your fear that you don't even deserve a Game Boy emulator for the phone that you never used to call your dear, dead granny? And now it is too late... PAFF! And a-RING-DING-DING-DING-DINGERINGDING!"
TOMB WITH A VIEW
Publisher Square Enix has announced that its 2013 Tomb Raider reboot has become the most successful entry in the long-running series. Despite disappointing initial sales in the first few weeks of release, the game has since gone on to sell 8.5 million copies worldwide.
"Tomb Raider ignited and expanded the fan base, pushing the series to a new level. The game's incredible sales success reflects the passionate response of players," screamed a terrified Darrell Gallagher, head of TR developer Crystal Dynamics.
Publisher Square Enix has announced that its 2013 Tomb Raider reboot has become the most successful entry in the long-running series. Despite disappointing initial sales in the first few weeks of release, the game has since gone on to sell 8.5 million copies worldwide.
"Tomb Raider ignited and expanded the fan base, pushing the series to a new level. The game's incredible sales success reflects the passionate response of players," screamed a terrified Darrell Gallagher, head of TR developer Crystal Dynamics.
THE METAPHORICAL FOX SAYS: "Oh, how easy it would be for me to say something about The Tomb Raider, but we both know it would be nothing but the externalised manifestation of your own shadow self, a phantom materialisation of your self-loathing for ever enjoying a game so commercial and popular.
"Aren't you supposed to be the kid who likes the things that everyone else hates, just because you think it makes you look cool? What the Hell happened to you? You've let yourself down, betrayed everything you held onto that you thought would make you safe. You gone and sold your trench coat, and bought a suede blazer... Oh what have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? PAFF! And a-WA-PA-PA-PA-PA-POW!"
"Aren't you supposed to be the kid who likes the things that everyone else hates, just because you think it makes you look cool? What the Hell happened to you? You've let yourself down, betrayed everything you held onto that you thought would make you safe. You gone and sold your trench coat, and bought a suede blazer... Oh what have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? PAFF! And a-WA-PA-PA-PA-PA-POW!"
AMAZON GRACE
Amazon appears to be getting ever more serious about its intention to move into game development. Last year, the online retailer - who not so long ago moved into producing its own TV and film projects - released its first game, Sev Zero, for its Fire TV box. It also hired Portal and Left 4 Dead lead developer Kim Swift and Far Cry 2 creator Clint Hocking, and bought studio Double Helix - the firm responsible for the Xbox One's free-to-play incarnation of Killer Instinct.
Now, according to MCV, Amazon has signed a massive licensing deal with CryTek, to use its CryEngine technology for as-yet-unspecified reasons. The MCV report suggests the deal could be worth between $50 million and $70 million.
Amazon appears to be getting ever more serious about its intention to move into game development. Last year, the online retailer - who not so long ago moved into producing its own TV and film projects - released its first game, Sev Zero, for its Fire TV box. It also hired Portal and Left 4 Dead lead developer Kim Swift and Far Cry 2 creator Clint Hocking, and bought studio Double Helix - the firm responsible for the Xbox One's free-to-play incarnation of Killer Instinct.
Now, according to MCV, Amazon has signed a massive licensing deal with CryTek, to use its CryEngine technology for as-yet-unspecified reasons. The MCV report suggests the deal could be worth between $50 million and $70 million.
THE METAPHORICAL FOX SAYS: "That's a lot of money isn't it? And now you know you don't need it. You've come to the end of this journey into yourself. You've reached a place of acceptance. It is time for me - your constant companion, your ginger shadow - to turn and walk back into the forest. You don't need me anymore.
"You're strong now. So very strong. You have cast off the concrete overcoat of your guilt-drenched past, and become the shining being you always were. Well done, my child. So very well done. PAFF! HATEE-HATEE-HATEE-HO! JOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF! FRAKA-KAKA-KAKA-KOW!"
"You're strong now. So very strong. You have cast off the concrete overcoat of your guilt-drenched past, and become the shining being you always were. Well done, my child. So very well done. PAFF! HATEE-HATEE-HATEE-HO! JOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF-TCHOFF! FRAKA-KAKA-KAKA-KOW!"
RSS Feed
