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EXCITING GAME NEWS! With comments by Insincere Dave

19/1/2015

1 Comment

 
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LIZARD MAN ARRESTED
A British man has been arrested in connection with the Sony and Microsoft cyber attacks which took down their online services over Christmas, proving that not even control-hungry sociopathic weirdos are above the law.

Though subsequently released on bail, the 18 year-old, from Southport near Liverpool, was also detained for additional alleged offences, including threats to kill, and 'swatting' - providing false information to US law enforcement agencies, via Skype, so that officers are dispatched to a location.  

The DDOS - distributed-denial-of-service attacks - flooded Sony and Microsoft servers on Christmas Day, bringing Xbox Live and the PlayStation Network to their brittle knees, and reducing thousands of entitled youths to floods of big, gloopy tears.

In the days following the attacks, several individuals came forward to claim responsibility as part of a hacking group known as 'Lizard Squad'. 

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INSINCERE DAVE SAYS: "Let's hope this acts as a deterrent to all hackers out there, and fires a warning shot across the bows of Lizard Squad's ship!!?! I'm pretty sure it will - after all, it's not like they went on TV to boast about their actions in the wake of the attack or anything!!!?!!! If they'd done that you'd almost think they wanted to be held accountable for the attacks, so everyone knew how clever and cool they were!!!!?!!"


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WATCH DOGS: WHAT IS  NEXT?
Despite being one of the top selling games of 2014, Ubisoft's hacking-glamorising, Chicago-set, sandbox epic Watch Dogs was - if you are to believe online chatter - widely considered a creative disappointment. Now the game's creative director has gone on record to admit he shares your concerns.

Speaking to GamesTM, Jonathan Morin belched: “I don’t think Watch Dogs is perfect in any way and there’s a lot of room for improvement.

“But you don’t always see this when you ship a game. We deliver what we believe the brand should be at the time. But afterwards, when you cool down after five and a half years and take your vacations and people play the game, certain elements become clear."

Morin told the magazine that he's already thinking about a sequel, and has been getting advice from an unusual source: “I have four kids at school and their friends tell us what they like and don’t like about the game.”

For the record, Digitiser 2000 enjoyed Watch Dogs, but only a bit. 72%.

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INSINCERE DAVE SAYS: "Cool!!!! Asking some kids what they thought of your game is the perfect way forward, I'd have thought!!!!?! Who knows better about games than kids - the people who games are made for!!!!!?!! I know for a fact that whenever I want advice about a multi-million dollar enterprise my first port of call is the local playground, where I canvass the opinions of toddlers!!!!!??!!!!"


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ZOE QUINN OFFERS COMMISERATION
Producer Alex Lifschitz has joined forces with his good friend Zoe Quinn - independent game developer, and the flashpoint for the ongoing Gamergate furore - to create Crash Override, an "online anti-harrassment task force".

According to the official website, Crash Override is "a support network and assistance group for victims and targets of unique forms of online harassment, composed entirely of experienced survivors". 

The network intends to work "preventatively and reactively, warning targets and working with them during episodes of harassment to keep them safe and provide them with the means to reduce harm and rebuild, as well as disempower their harassers".

Among the services provided by Crash Override include offering counselling and "commiseration"  to victims, as well community outreach projects and activism with a view to "prevent victims from ever needing us in the first place". It also offers guides on general internet safety, and account security.

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INSINCERE DAVE SAYS: "That's so awesome!!!!!?! I know when I'm going through something horrible, the first person I want to speak to is someone who can have an objective and level-headed reaction to my problems because they're literally going through the very same thing as I am!!! I'm sure they won't get remotely triggered by hearing my problems!!?! Plus I'm 110% sure that Crash Override isn't going to become a target for more abuse from Gamergaters, who'll probably see it for what it is, and won't be blinkered by some inexplicable, unwavering belief that it's further evidence of some non-existent industry-wide conspiracy to marginalise them!!!?!!"


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HATRED IS CONTROVERSIAL
Destructive Creations' controversial murder 'em up Hatred has been rated 'Adults Only' by America's Entertainment Software Ratings Board - the most severe rating the ESRB has in its arsenal. Hatred is only the second game in history to receive such an honour, after Rockstar's Manhunt 2.

Speaking on the game's official forum, a member of the Hatred team stabbed a cat and snarled: "I would prefer to get a standard M+ rating, because with AO we will have problems to get to consoles in the future, but on the other hand I think you guys (our fans) would be disappointed with it."

Still, y'know, probably won't hurt its chances, eh? Anyone old remember how Frankie Goes To Hollywood's Relax utterly failed to be a massive hit when it was banned by Radio 1 back in the 1700s?

++ COMPETITION! WIN BIG WITH DIGITISER 2000! ++
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INSINCERE DAVE SAYS: "Oh no! Poor Destructive Creations!!!?! This news is really going to damage sales of the game!!!!?!!! Still, at least it's going to be available to buy on Steam, for anyone who is a fan of games where you slaughter people without any sort of moral context!!!!?! Cool!!!!?!!!"

1 Comment
Superbeast 37
20/1/2015 01:41:21 am

Ubisoft really stunk up their nest last year.

However if Watch Dogs had actually been playable on my super powered PC (I call it Space Device 13) then I'd actually have thought it was a pretty decent game.

When it works its as good an open world action game as FC4 is an open world shooter and the latter was fairly well received.

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