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EXCITING GAME NEWS with Comments by CYBER-X

27/3/2015

2 Comments

 
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NEW TOE-JAM AND EARL: HAPPENING
Surprising nobody (except perhaps those of us who thought the 3D/2D graphics in the demo looked a bit ropey) Toe-Jam and Earl: Back In The Groove - a new sequel to the 1991 Mega Drive original - has broken through its Kickstarter goal of $400,000. 

The game's pot is now standing at just over $470,000 as we write this - already having met its first two stretch goals. PS4, Xbox One and Wii U versions will be added to the already announced PC edition, if the game reaches $600,000, $700,000 and $800,000 respectively. 

Click through for a video, which does - we regret - begin with the words "Yo whassup, y'all".

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CYBER-X SAYS: "Boom! I'm Cyber-X. You probably remember me from the years 1990 to 1999, when I was the top games journalist in the whole bloody country, writing for magz like Toppo Top Games Mega Top (Top). Back then, it was shizz like Toe-Jam and Earl that got me up in the morning; I'd be out clubbing until 6 or 10am, then get home, have five minutes sleep, before my editor would ring me up asking if I knew where the promo copy of Toe-Jam and Earl was, because it had gone missing from the office. Yeah - of course I knew where it was: I'd sold it at the games exchange so I could buy some drugs. How else am I meant to stay up all night, you stupid big nerd?!." 

MINECRAFT: FREE TO SCHOOLKIDS IN NORTHERN IRELAND
The Guardian reports that every secondary schoolchild in Northern Ireland will be given free access to MinecraftEDU - a special educational version of the game. The scheme is part of the CultureTECH Festival, funded by the Department of Culture, Arts and Leisure. 

“This is work that the kids really want to do and if you’re able to harness that enthusiasm, energy and creativity you end up with a pretty significant learning opportunity," honked Mark Nagurski, the chief executive of CultureTECH.

This is not the first time Minecraft has been given away free to schools; in 2013, it became part of the curriculum in one Swedish school.
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CYBER-X SAYS: "Back in my day - when I was the top games journalist in the country, going to clubs and writing about my antics in the pages of Toppington Topsly Toppo Games Mega Top, all games were free. I just used to steal them from work, and then flog them at the games exchange, so I could buy some drugs. Did I tell you that already? Actually, when you look at it that way, they weren't just free - they were the opposite of free, whatever that is. Don't ask me what the word is; my brain is fried to buggery, and it's hard to think through this thick fog of bitterness and resentment."

CALL OF DUTY: IT HAS SOLD "LOADS"
Ahead of this year's Call of Duty Championship - due to take place in Los Angeles this weekend - Activision has revealed that the series has sold over 175 million units worldwide, since it launched a decade ago.

Additionally, Activision claims that some 100 billion multiplayer matches have taken place online, with over 300 billion grenades thrown during those matches - some 44 times the number of mobile phones in the world, apparently.

You'll be able to watch the action at the CoD Championships live online right here.
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CYBER-X SAYS: "You might not know this, but since becoming a semi-retired professional games journalist I've started a secondary career as the top motivational speaker and life coach in the entire country. When I self-published my first hard-hitting self-help book - 'I HATE YOU AND I WISH YOU WERE DEAD' - it sold over 176 million copies worldwide, which is even more copies than that game they were just talking about, whatever it was called. Keep a look out for my follow-up life coaching book: 'JUST HURRY UP AND DIE ALREADY'... Mmmmfff. God, I'm hungry. Hungry for some bloody drugs."

2 Comments
Adam
27/3/2015 04:28:39 pm

I'm not sure, but I think Cyber-X is on drugs.

Reply
Gaijintendo
28/3/2015 03:13:37 pm

I know one person at work who needs to use cannabis now and then, and another person who could really do with some magic mushrooms - but none of us take drugs because we are afraid of being stigmatised by Adam.

Reply



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