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EXCITING GAME NEWS! With comments by Chip Shop Man

19/3/2015

7 Comments

 
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MINTER IS (NOT) COMING
Veteran game designer Jeff Minter - who once referred to Digitiser2000's Mr Biffo by the "C-word", after the unsightly Digitiser overlord possibly wrongly suggested that Minter's career was largely built upon releasing new versions of other people's games - has had the multiformat release of his new shoot 'em up TxK blocked by Atari.

Though TxK was released on the PS Vita last year, Atari has now thrown a spanner in the works of all future versions, citing a copyright violation. Apparently, Atari feels that the Tempest-like shoot 'em up too closely resembles its own Tempest-like shoot 'em up, Tempest. This is despite Minter being the creator of Tempest 2000, a remake of the 1981 Tempest-like arcade game, Tempest, for the Atari Jaguar. We have nothing more to say.

You can read Minter's full account of the TxK-blocking story here.

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CHIP SHOP MAN SAYS: "What's that, mate? Sorry - you're gonna have to speak up. I'm trying to do about fifty things at once here. Flipping fat pan is caked. Look at it. Disgustin'. What's that? Did I ever go down the arcades? What, like the game arcades? Nah, mate. Nah. Not my thing. We used to have one of them fruit machines in here, though. Had to get rid of it after a month. Kids kept vandalising it. Bunged up the money hole with chip forks."

YOU WEAR IT WELL...
Several escapees from developers Rovio, Remedy Entertainment and Digital Chocolate have founded a new games studio - dedicated to games that you wear. 

The Helsinki-based team's CEO, Aki Järvilehto offered the following words to GamesIndustry.biz: "As developers, this year presents an unrivaled opportunity to craft completely original gaming experiences for a global audience... We see wearable tech as the most exciting new platform of 2015."

The as-yet-unamed company expects to release its first smart watch games later this year. 
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CHIP SHOP MAN SAYS: "Hel-what? Games being made in Helsinki or something was it? Dunno about that, mate, but you should see the sink we've got out back. That's a Sink From Hell. It's caked in fish guts and old batter. Looks like puke it does.

"My other half keeps promising to come over here and unblock it for us, but there's always some bloody excuse. Last week he said he had a 'sleepy wrist'. What's a bleeding' sleepy wrist when it's at home?! You ever heard of a sleepy wrist? He's got a sleepy brain more like. Oi! What you doing? You want a chip fork, just take one out of the dispenser slot. You don't need to tip the whole box upside down."

PRATCHETT IN SPACE
The sad parting of Terry Pratchett - famously a games fan himself - has been felt across the industry, not least at developer Frontier. The Elite: Dangerous studio has decided to honour the Discworld author by adding "Terry Pratchett's Disc Starport" to its sprawling space trading and combat universe.

Executive producer Michael Brookes lamented the following to Eurogamer: "For me personally, Terry Pratchett was one of very few authors whose books I could buy without needing to read a review or even ask what the story was about. His talent for social commentary, humour, unforgettable characters and vivid worlds not only provided joy as a reader, but inspiration as a writer."
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CHIP SHOP MAN: "Nah, never read him, mate. I don't have time for books. After I'm done here I don't get in until 1AM most nights, and I'm knackered. 'Specially now I'm having to clean up without a sink that drains properly. 

"Me other half has some of his books though, I think. Are they the ones with the pictures on the front? Yeah, I know all books have pictures on 'em. I mean, like, the pictures of the... I dunno what I mean. Oh, bloody... You gotta be kiddin' me. Look. We're out of chip forks again. Look at that. We had a full box this morning."

7 Comments
Stouffer link
19/3/2015 04:41:14 am

Chip Shop Man he got a big face.

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MrPSB
19/3/2015 05:46:01 am

It's the kind of face I would like to cover in fat, and not the chip variety if you get what I mean.

I mean sperm.

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Pokker
19/3/2015 06:25:21 am

Looks a bit like Janine from Eastenders if I remember correctly.

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Frank Chickens
19/3/2015 11:16:59 am

"We have nothing more to say".

Beautifully pithy.

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Mr Smith
20/3/2015 04:44:54 am

Although I stay for the news, I actually click to read Chip Shop Man. The melancholy reflections of a food proprietor coming to grips with a changing fast-food world (and fork thieves). It feels oddly tragic.

Glad to see he's feeling a bit more chipper after last week's head-in-the-oil revelation. (Oh man, that pun was an accident!)

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Adam
20/3/2015 03:20:47 pm

Did Jeff Minter call you 'Crispin'?

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Dan link
21/3/2015 03:11:11 pm

So did you patch it up with Minter? He seems like a nice bloke. Have to admit I haven't played any of his games... unless he released some stuff for the Amstrad I don't know of.

By the way, Biffenheimer, I read your Retro Gamer piece in the magazine aisle in Tesco this week! Great to see teletext art in print.

Reply



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