So. That's it then. Mr Biffo's Found Footage is over. If you've not liked the series, because it's too weird, please give The Trojan Arse Protocol a go. It's VHS/glitch-free, it tells a story, has action, effects, monsters, and it looks bloody great. Yes, I would say that - but I'm still somewhat taken aback that it turned out so well.
And it should go without saying that if you can help spread the word of this remarkable project - which I can't help but feel deserves a bigger audience than it has reached thus far (especially this latest one) - please do so. I'd really appreciate it.
Well, as ever... thank you to everyone who supported me in this - whether it was with the above, you were part of the cast and crew, with backing on Kickstarter or Indiegogo, or by just generally saying nice things. It has taken over a year to finish this series, and if it wasn't for all of you I don't think I'd have stayed the distance. Seriously cannot stress enough that this is a joint effort by all of us - and I feel immensely privileged. You've given me a gift that has really made a difference to my life.
Suffice to say, I want to do more. I've got some thoughts about what form it might take. But I'm going to take a few months to let them percolate as I try to recover. I really hope lots of you are up for being a part of something new, probably in early spring next year...
For now - here's a behind-the-scenes look at The Trojan Arse Protocol.
SPOILER WARNING: Do not read on unless you have watched The Trojan Arse Protocol!
And it should go without saying that if you can help spread the word of this remarkable project - which I can't help but feel deserves a bigger audience than it has reached thus far (especially this latest one) - please do so. I'd really appreciate it.
Well, as ever... thank you to everyone who supported me in this - whether it was with the above, you were part of the cast and crew, with backing on Kickstarter or Indiegogo, or by just generally saying nice things. It has taken over a year to finish this series, and if it wasn't for all of you I don't think I'd have stayed the distance. Seriously cannot stress enough that this is a joint effort by all of us - and I feel immensely privileged. You've given me a gift that has really made a difference to my life.
Suffice to say, I want to do more. I've got some thoughts about what form it might take. But I'm going to take a few months to let them percolate as I try to recover. I really hope lots of you are up for being a part of something new, probably in early spring next year...
For now - here's a behind-the-scenes look at The Trojan Arse Protocol.
SPOILER WARNING: Do not read on unless you have watched The Trojan Arse Protocol!
XENOXXX HQ
We shot the finale at Drakelow Tunnels in the midlands. This former government nuclear bunker sprawls over 3.5 miles, and was originally built as a "shadow factory" in WW2, building plane engines. It is, reportedly, haunted. It was in the news a few years ago for being used as an illegal marijuana farm.
The big, opening, narration - which goes on slightly too long, but never mind - is a nod to the opening of Escape From New York. I was very fortunate to find someone with a voice that had the same sort of timbre. I slapped a filter on her voice, which gave it a similar, slightly robotic, chilly, effect, of the sort that John Carpenter used.
Even the music - once again provided by Chris Jerden-Cooke, who did a brilliant job on the entire finale, to my exacting specifications - is a homage to Carpenter. Chris has worked really, really hard across the series - but he really knocked it out of the park here I think.
And look - here's a shot of Xenoxxx HQ pre-disaster, provided by our brilliant VFX artist AJ Jeffries.
The big, opening, narration - which goes on slightly too long, but never mind - is a nod to the opening of Escape From New York. I was very fortunate to find someone with a voice that had the same sort of timbre. I slapped a filter on her voice, which gave it a similar, slightly robotic, chilly, effect, of the sort that John Carpenter used.
Even the music - once again provided by Chris Jerden-Cooke, who did a brilliant job on the entire finale, to my exacting specifications - is a homage to Carpenter. Chris has worked really, really hard across the series - but he really knocked it out of the park here I think.
And look - here's a shot of Xenoxxx HQ pre-disaster, provided by our brilliant VFX artist AJ Jeffries.
HAIL XENOXXX!
This sequence featuring the fall of Xenoxxx was shot by Steve Horsley while we were setting up the scene where Molotov, Faktori and Orlokk barricade the door against the bums. We did have to keep shouting at them to be quiet so we could do our takes!
Steve, like the rest of us, was wrecked by the end of the two days. Nobody worked harder than him and Sanya, my other half. They're listed as "2nd Unit Director" and "Producer" respectively, but those titles barely cover the work they put in - everything from dressing sets, rounding up cast, to going and getting pizzas for everyone.
Steve, like the rest of us, was wrecked by the end of the two days. Nobody worked harder than him and Sanya, my other half. They're listed as "2nd Unit Director" and "Producer" respectively, but those titles barely cover the work they put in - everything from dressing sets, rounding up cast, to going and getting pizzas for everyone.
POSTER BOY
In every draft of the script this was always the first shot; somebody stepping on the face of Lord Brannigan-7, in the way that Goujon John had - metaphorically - stepped on his face. If you want to get all symbolic about it, it's meant to represent a reversal of power - how ordinary people, citizens, are the ones with real power; not our "rulers".
This was shot on the morning of Day 2. Originally it was meant to be a crane shot - our director of photography, Christopher Hood, is a "jib specialist" - but we'd lost so much time on Day 1 that I had to forego the setting up of the crane, as it would've taken up an hour or so just to rig it. So we improvised.
This was shot on the morning of Day 2. Originally it was meant to be a crane shot - our director of photography, Christopher Hood, is a "jib specialist" - but we'd lost so much time on Day 1 that I had to forego the setting up of the crane, as it would've taken up an hour or so just to rig it. So we improvised.
GEARS OF WAR
I love this shot. And there's some subtle effects work from AJ in the top of frame. This was my tribute to both Saving Private Ryan and Gears of War. There was meant to be a lot more Gears of War run-and-gun stuff in the film, but - again - we ran out of time.
The weapons are a mixture of Nerf and water guns, which I customised, the body armour is biker gear, the helmets are DIY facemasks, and the backpack that Orlokkk is wearing is an old WW2 portable radio kit.
The weapons are a mixture of Nerf and water guns, which I customised, the body armour is biker gear, the helmets are DIY facemasks, and the backpack that Orlokkk is wearing is an old WW2 portable radio kit.
THE MOUTH OF HELL
You can never have too many barrels on a sci-fi film. Once I found out how cheap barrels were on eBay I bought six of them, painted them, and they sat in my back garden for months. They make great, impactful, set dressing - in fact, I saw one of the very same barrels on the set of the new Star Wars film, when I watched a behind-the-scenes video - as do corrugated plastic sheets.
The latter, however, were a pain in the arse to paint/distress. They used up a ton of paint. We were glad to have them, though, as they covered up parts of the location which would've broken the illusion.
You can also see the body of Funtron 8 in this shot (a water butt - about four times the price of a barrel).
The latter, however, were a pain in the arse to paint/distress. They used up a ton of paint. We were glad to have them, though, as they covered up parts of the location which would've broken the illusion.
You can also see the body of Funtron 8 in this shot (a water butt - about four times the price of a barrel).
WALK AND TALK
This was one of the very last scenes we shot, and we were dead on our feet, woefully behind schedule, I was faced with having to drop about 40% of the script, with no idea how I was going to piece it all together (after the first day I even rewrote the script in my hotel room to make it simpler - and we still had to drop stuff). We had, by this point, also lost one of our principal cast members. Amazingly, everyone remained in high spirits. What a cast and crew!
Consequently, this dialogue was thrown together in about 5 minutes on the fly in a bid to bridge the scenes (and character) we no longer had - and hats off to Jesse "Faktori" Ross for learning it and doing a brilliant job in dire circumstances.
It means that all the exposition comes across as a big dump of it, rather than in a more finessed fashion. But hey - what are ya gonna do?! Too late now.
Consequently, this dialogue was thrown together in about 5 minutes on the fly in a bid to bridge the scenes (and character) we no longer had - and hats off to Jesse "Faktori" Ross for learning it and doing a brilliant job in dire circumstances.
It means that all the exposition comes across as a big dump of it, rather than in a more finessed fashion. But hey - what are ya gonna do?! Too late now.
BRANNIGAN'S EARLY EXPERIMENTS
This scene was the first shot, and the one which really set us so behind. Christopher Hood was picking up a flicker on his lights - a consequence of the tunnels' diesel generator - and we lost so much time while he tried to compensate for it. In the end we just had to live with it, and I think it actually adds to the atmosphere.
Pretty much the whole of the first morning on Day 1 was taken up with this one scene. Obviously, it's a very heavily dressed set too (in the bunker's old hospital facility no less); this was more or less a bare room before we came in.
Also: you can see the head of BW from Biffovision in a jar in the back of one of the shots. He now resides with the sponsor of the series...
Pretty much the whole of the first morning on Day 1 was taken up with this one scene. Obviously, it's a very heavily dressed set too (in the bunker's old hospital facility no less); this was more or less a bare room before we came in.
Also: you can see the head of BW from Biffovision in a jar in the back of one of the shots. He now resides with the sponsor of the series...
JAR JAR BUMS
Obviously a homage to the scene in Aliens where they find the facehuggers suspended in tubes. I'm disappointed that the bums in jars aren't easier to see... but I do like how grimy and distressed the jars are. I loved a lived-in universe.
Also, there's a really cool skull - with a barcode on its forehead - that you only see in profile in a brief shot. I wish we could've featured that somehow better. Other props in this set include a bunch of Cold War-era Soviet medical gear, oscillators, and other medical and scientific equipment I bought on eBay.
It frustrates me that this scene is so expositional right on the heels of the tunnel scene - but it was unavoidable in the circumstances. Molotov exists as a character to ask the questions the audience might have, but I'm pleased I also managed to give him a character arc. Which is no mean feat in a 15 minute-long film.
Also, there's a really cool skull - with a barcode on its forehead - that you only see in profile in a brief shot. I wish we could've featured that somehow better. Other props in this set include a bunch of Cold War-era Soviet medical gear, oscillators, and other medical and scientific equipment I bought on eBay.
It frustrates me that this scene is so expositional right on the heels of the tunnel scene - but it was unavoidable in the circumstances. Molotov exists as a character to ask the questions the audience might have, but I'm pleased I also managed to give him a character arc. Which is no mean feat in a 15 minute-long film.
HOLE IN ONE
The bum jars were the hardest props to make. They're basically watercooler jugs with washing up bowls on top, and a light (and a bum) inside. But, as I discovered, watercooler jugs are REALLY hard to cut or manipulate. I nearly took my hand off getting them open to fit the bums inside.
For this damaged jar I just laid it over the hob on my kitchen cooker, and waited until it was melted enough to punch through. I would've done that with the others if I'd thought about it sooner, rather than trying to hammer a breadknife through them.
For this damaged jar I just laid it over the hob on my kitchen cooker, and waited until it was melted enough to punch through. I would've done that with the others if I'd thought about it sooner, rather than trying to hammer a breadknife through them.
ACTION MAN
This whole sequence was shot at the end of Day 1, and was the first time it felt to me as if we were making something really special. The scale of the tunnels, the lighting, the set dressing, all came together - when I watched it back on the monitor I was blown away.
Also, hats off to our many volunteers who helped dress this set - especially Oliver and Joe - which had a ton of detail (Xenoxxx banners hanging from the ceiling!) that you barely see on screen.
Also: Jesse, who plays Faktori, looks like a proper action hero here. Like Andy Wear, who played Molotov, he got a military haircut especially for the role and even went to the gym to beef himself up.
Also, hats off to our many volunteers who helped dress this set - especially Oliver and Joe - which had a ton of detail (Xenoxxx banners hanging from the ceiling!) that you barely see on screen.
Also: Jesse, who plays Faktori, looks like a proper action hero here. Like Andy Wear, who played Molotov, he got a military haircut especially for the role and even went to the gym to beef himself up.
IT TASTES BAD
Massive respect to my good friend Mark who sweated to death inside the bum mask for take after take spent crouching over Jesse, and then crawling away on his hands and knees. Also, pity poor Jesse suffering a KY Jelly-dripping two day-old goujon just millimetres from his mouth.
The reveal of the bum, with it flinging its arms wide, was a tribute to a similar shot in the original Alien. It wasn't easy to get the shot; Mark couldn't see a thing in the mask, so couldn't see where he was facing.
Also, lovely subtle VFX with the gunshots and bullet impacts, courtesy of AJ.
The reveal of the bum, with it flinging its arms wide, was a tribute to a similar shot in the original Alien. It wasn't easy to get the shot; Mark couldn't see a thing in the mask, so couldn't see where he was facing.
Also, lovely subtle VFX with the gunshots and bullet impacts, courtesy of AJ.
CONTROL ROOM
We hadn't been able to do a recce of the location before we arrived, so we got very lucky that there were so many astonishing areas that were perfect for what we needed.
This was everyone's favourite set, due to the amount of detail in it. I wanted it to feel like a real place that people had worked and lived in - though much of that might be lost on screen. There was a game of solitaire set up on one side of the desk, coffee mugs - and lots of Polaroids of a strange, green-faced, woman, that I bought on eBay.
Also: one of several appearances from Roaming Thomas... Two Thomases in fact... placed on an electroluminescent sheet. These weren't cheap, but we use quite a lot of them throughout the film as computer screens, or buttons, in the background of shot. They really help to sell the illusion of power.
It was a bit of a pain to shoot on this set, as it was right next door to the tunnel's generator, and the noise was bleeding through. Chris Bullock, our sound recordist, did a fantastic job minimising the racket.
This was everyone's favourite set, due to the amount of detail in it. I wanted it to feel like a real place that people had worked and lived in - though much of that might be lost on screen. There was a game of solitaire set up on one side of the desk, coffee mugs - and lots of Polaroids of a strange, green-faced, woman, that I bought on eBay.
Also: one of several appearances from Roaming Thomas... Two Thomases in fact... placed on an electroluminescent sheet. These weren't cheap, but we use quite a lot of them throughout the film as computer screens, or buttons, in the background of shot. They really help to sell the illusion of power.
It was a bit of a pain to shoot on this set, as it was right next door to the tunnel's generator, and the noise was bleeding through. Chris Bullock, our sound recordist, did a fantastic job minimising the racket.
This screen is the same iPad I used to animate the 2001 and Ghee-Lord sequences, and it was the first thing I bought with the Kickstarter money. Worth every penny. We did talk about having the base map be a hologram, but I wanted everything in the Xenoxxverse to be analogue, old-school, technology, very robust feeling, like it was built to withstand a nuclear war.
You might've noticed the colour red featuring quiet heavily in The Trojan Arse Protocol. Aside from the fact it helps certain key things "pop" on screen - such as the characters - it's also a subtle nod to our backers (along with the Xenoxxx logo) that this is where your money went!
Also: look at the Popping Martian toy! I had one years ago, and thought it'd be a nice little touch to throw into the scene. Apparently, they feature in the background on Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Which I have not watched.
You might've noticed the colour red featuring quiet heavily in The Trojan Arse Protocol. Aside from the fact it helps certain key things "pop" on screen - such as the characters - it's also a subtle nod to our backers (along with the Xenoxxx logo) that this is where your money went!
Also: look at the Popping Martian toy! I had one years ago, and thought it'd be a nice little touch to throw into the scene. Apparently, they feature in the background on Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Which I have not watched.
BUM REVEAL
Another of my favourite shots, in another of my favourite sets. I'd seen pictures of this area - it used to be a kitchen - online before we shot, and hoped that it'd make a good "Coolant Room". It did! This set was a real hive of activity; all the extras, all the crew and volunteers, working hard to dress it.
Essentially, this is the point at which you realise that The Trojan Arse Protocol is just one joke - which is the juxtaposition of puerile fart humour with something that feels quite high-end and serious. Nothing is played for laughs - so when the farts come, hopefully they're funny.
The dialogue in the script is deliberately a bit po-faced and action-movie-cliched; "I'm the real monster - not those bum-faced things" is probably my favourite example.
Essentially, this is the point at which you realise that The Trojan Arse Protocol is just one joke - which is the juxtaposition of puerile fart humour with something that feels quite high-end and serious. Nothing is played for laughs - so when the farts come, hopefully they're funny.
The dialogue in the script is deliberately a bit po-faced and action-movie-cliched; "I'm the real monster - not those bum-faced things" is probably my favourite example.
BUMS AHOY
I love the lighting on this shot. Christopher Hood would despair at my use of smoke on set - but I love how the light filters through it here. I really wanted that 80s movie look. By the end of the two days, the entire bunker was filled with the smoke, wherever you went.
In total, we had 9 bum masks and one bum puppet. Because we couldn't see who was who under their masks, we had to give the extras nicknames; "Spotty bum", "Veiny bum", "Brown bum" etc.
In total, we had 9 bum masks and one bum puppet. Because we couldn't see who was who under their masks, we had to give the extras nicknames; "Spotty bum", "Veiny bum", "Brown bum" etc.
HERO BUM
This puppet was meant to be in a bunch more shots, but it was actually really tricky to operate. I think it's Steve Horsley who's crouching down and trying to part the buttocks with his hands. So to speak.
There was a whole additional section to this scene originally, with Faktori fighting off a swarm of "Bumcrawlers" - but, again, lost due to time.
There was a whole additional section to this scene originally, with Faktori fighting off a swarm of "Bumcrawlers" - but, again, lost due to time.
RUN AND GUN
Remember how I mentioned that we lost a cast member before we'd shot all his scenes? Well, in this shot Orlokk is actually played by David Walford - who was there helping out in a variety of ways for the shoot - and just happened to be the perfect shape and size to step into his body armour. Poor David had a bad knee, yet kept going without complaint.
Also, the two Bum Monsters that go down were only meant to be one; however, extra R. Fred Williams tripped over John Veness, thus giving us two casualties for the price of one! Sorry about the bruises, John.
Also, the two Bum Monsters that go down were only meant to be one; however, extra R. Fred Williams tripped over John Veness, thus giving us two casualties for the price of one! Sorry about the bruises, John.
MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF GOUJONS!
Having been cooked two days earlier, and sat in a sealed Tupperware box since then, these goujons seriously reeked. They stunk out the entire set.
Again, this was another scene which had a lot more action in it originally. You don't see it in the scene, but there was a whole other room just off to the side of it which had caved in. Sadly, there was no filming in there for health and safety reasons.
The tunnels were astonishingly inhospitable - from the lack of power points (we had, fortunately, invested a load of money in extension cables) to the humidity; by the end of day 2, the camera crew had to spend a couple of hours drying out their gear.
Again, this was another scene which had a lot more action in it originally. You don't see it in the scene, but there was a whole other room just off to the side of it which had caved in. Sadly, there was no filming in there for health and safety reasons.
The tunnels were astonishingly inhospitable - from the lack of power points (we had, fortunately, invested a load of money in extension cables) to the humidity; by the end of day 2, the camera crew had to spend a couple of hours drying out their gear.
FILTHY HUMAN MEAT
And here we have the one and only Violet Berlin, wearing a Goujon John mask, threatening someone with a goujon, in a haunted, abandoned, nuclear bunker, while living bums hammer on a barricade. 'Nuff said.
REUNION
Violet Berlin and Nam Rood together again! They hadn't seen each other since the Bad Influence days.
Violet's eye make-up was a tribute to the character of Pris from Blade Runner. Given that she only had a couple of lines, Violet's dedication to the part was commendable.
I also owe her for suggesting Andy for the role of Molotov - which was originally written for Violet. When Andy took over, I wrote the Goujon John Cultist into the script, which informed the entire Church of Goujon John plot.
Violet's eye make-up was a tribute to the character of Pris from Blade Runner. Given that she only had a couple of lines, Violet's dedication to the part was commendable.
I also owe her for suggesting Andy for the role of Molotov - which was originally written for Violet. When Andy took over, I wrote the Goujon John Cultist into the script, which informed the entire Church of Goujon John plot.
CAUGHT ON TAPE
Every time Andy delivered his speech about his daughter - even though it's inherently ridiculous, talking about a dimension that smelled of crabs - I got goosebumps. A brilliant actor, and a lovely, lovely man. I mean, SO lovely. That combination of being a great actor and being easy to work with - absolutely zero ego - is so rare.
I would work with him again in a shot.
Also... what's that he's putting inside his body armour? Looks like a VHS tape. Hmm... maybe you can extrapolate from that.
I would work with him again in a shot.
Also... what's that he's putting inside his body armour? Looks like a VHS tape. Hmm... maybe you can extrapolate from that.
THE BIG END
Once again, I love this set. The big, climactic, sequence was hugely cut down from what was originally scripted - a result of losing both time and the character of Orlokk. You were meant to see a transformed Faktori beat Orlokk to death, and the Cultist escape.
Can I just point out the steam erupting there? I'm very proud of that. That was a disco light/smoke machine thing that I bought.
Can I just point out the steam erupting there? I'm very proud of that. That was a disco light/smoke machine thing that I bought.
THE VORTEX OPENS
More brilliant VFX from AJ. The triangular vortex is, of course, where Xenoxxx got the shape of its logo. Why is there a giant bum coming through the vortex? Well... originally, a World War 2 aircraft carrier was meant to drop out of it, but then I realised that we needed some sort of Alien Queen-style climax - a bigger version of what we'd seen already.
In my head, Lord Brannigan-7 is bum-obsessed, and the giant bum is just part of the vortex activation technology - rather than, say, an alien bum coming from another dimension.
In my head, Lord Brannigan-7 is bum-obsessed, and the giant bum is just part of the vortex activation technology - rather than, say, an alien bum coming from another dimension.
TRAPPED
Huge, huge thanks to the extras in this last scene - who had been waiting for hours to have their moment to shine.
By this point, I was seriously fit to drop, and Sid - who owns the tunnels - was breathing down our necks because he wanted to lock up and go to bed, so I just let Christopher Hood get on with it while I started packing up our gear. Even after the shoot wrapped we were there for another couple of hours finishing up. And then had a two-hour drive home.
Again, there was scarcely a cross word during the whole shoot, despite the early starts and late finishes, and astonishing workload. Everybody seemed to be loving every minute of it, and I would work with almost all of them again on anything I did. An amazing bunch of people; thank you, those who backed Found Footage, for bringing us all together.
And that's it. It's over, barring putting together the DVD, fulfilling the backer rewards, and collapsing with exhaustion. I hope you've liked the series... and if you didn't, then I hope you liked the finale. If you didn't like either, then that's okay too, but I hope you've at least appreciated the amount of work put into the show by a lot of very talented, dedicated, hardworking folk.
Also, huge thanks to Nikki Heald, Peter Kwan, David Walford and Glyn Heaviside for running and contributing to the Found Footage ARG that has been bubbling alongside the series. David has written a making-of for the Xenoxxx ZX Spectrum game he wrote. You can read it here, and find Nikki's Goujon John Page here, and Peter's Xenoxxx site here.
You can also contribute to the Xenoxxx wiki, or the Brannigan's Vortex group here.
Thank you all for watching and being part of this.
By this point, I was seriously fit to drop, and Sid - who owns the tunnels - was breathing down our necks because he wanted to lock up and go to bed, so I just let Christopher Hood get on with it while I started packing up our gear. Even after the shoot wrapped we were there for another couple of hours finishing up. And then had a two-hour drive home.
Again, there was scarcely a cross word during the whole shoot, despite the early starts and late finishes, and astonishing workload. Everybody seemed to be loving every minute of it, and I would work with almost all of them again on anything I did. An amazing bunch of people; thank you, those who backed Found Footage, for bringing us all together.
And that's it. It's over, barring putting together the DVD, fulfilling the backer rewards, and collapsing with exhaustion. I hope you've liked the series... and if you didn't, then I hope you liked the finale. If you didn't like either, then that's okay too, but I hope you've at least appreciated the amount of work put into the show by a lot of very talented, dedicated, hardworking folk.
Also, huge thanks to Nikki Heald, Peter Kwan, David Walford and Glyn Heaviside for running and contributing to the Found Footage ARG that has been bubbling alongside the series. David has written a making-of for the Xenoxxx ZX Spectrum game he wrote. You can read it here, and find Nikki's Goujon John Page here, and Peter's Xenoxxx site here.
You can also contribute to the Xenoxxx wiki, or the Brannigan's Vortex group here.
Thank you all for watching and being part of this.
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