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EVERYTHING YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT THE TROJAN ARSE PROTOCOL

23/10/2017

20 Comments

 
So. That's it then. Mr Biffo's Found Footage is over. If you've not liked the series, because it's too weird, please give The Trojan Arse Protocol a go. It's VHS/glitch-free, it tells a story, has action, effects, monsters, and it looks bloody great. Yes, I would say that - but I'm still somewhat taken aback that it turned out so well. 

And it should go without saying that if you can help spread the word of this remarkable project - which I can't help but feel deserves a bigger audience than it has reached thus far (especially this latest one) - please do so. I'd really appreciate it.

Well, as ever... thank you to everyone who supported me in this - whether it was with the above, you were part of the cast and crew, with backing on Kickstarter or Indiegogo, or by just generally saying nice things. It has taken over a year to finish this series, and if it wasn't for all of you I don't think I'd have stayed the distance. Seriously cannot stress enough that this is a joint effort by all of us - and I feel immensely privileged. You've given me a gift that has really made a difference to my life.

Suffice to say, I want to do more. I've got some thoughts about what form it might take. But I'm going to take a few months to let them percolate as I try to recover. I really hope lots of you are up for being a part of something new, probably in early spring next year...

For now - here's a behind-the-scenes look at The Trojan Arse Protocol.

SPOILER WARNING: Do not read on unless you have watched The Trojan Arse Protocol!
XENOXXX HQ
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We shot the finale at Drakelow Tunnels in the midlands. This former government nuclear bunker sprawls over 3.5 miles, and was originally built as a "shadow factory" in WW2, building plane engines. It is, reportedly, haunted. It was in the news a few years ago for being used as an illegal marijuana farm.

The big, opening, narration - which goes on slightly too long, but never mind - is a nod to the opening of Escape From New York. I was very fortunate to find someone with a voice that had the same sort of timbre. I slapped a filter on her voice, which gave it a similar, slightly robotic, chilly, effect, of the sort that John Carpenter used. 

Even the music - once again provided by Chris Jerden-Cooke, who did a brilliant job on the entire finale, to my exacting specifications - is a homage to Carpenter. Chris has worked really, really hard across the series - but he really knocked it out of the park here I think.

And look - here's a shot of Xenoxxx HQ pre-disaster, provided by our brilliant VFX artist AJ Jeffries.
HAIL XENOXXX!
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This sequence featuring the fall of Xenoxxx was shot by Steve Horsley while we were setting up the scene where Molotov, Faktori and Orlokk barricade the door against the bums. We did have to keep shouting at them to be quiet so we could do our takes!

Steve, like the rest of us, was wrecked by the end of the two days. Nobody worked harder than him and Sanya, my other half. They're listed as "2nd Unit Director" and "Producer" respectively, but those titles barely cover the work they put in - everything from dressing sets, rounding up cast, to going and getting pizzas for everyone.
POSTER BOY
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In every draft of the script this was always the first shot; somebody stepping on the face of Lord Brannigan-7, in the way that Goujon John had - metaphorically - stepped on his face. If you want to get all symbolic about it, it's meant to represent a reversal of power - how ordinary people, citizens, are the ones with real power; not our "rulers".

This was shot on the morning of Day 2. Originally it was meant to be a crane shot - our director of photography, Christopher Hood, is a "jib specialist" - but we'd lost so much time on Day 1 that I had to forego the setting up of the crane, as it would've taken up an hour or so just to rig it. So we improvised.
GEARS OF WAR
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I love this shot. And there's some subtle effects work from AJ in the top of frame. This was my tribute to both Saving Private Ryan and Gears of War. There was meant to be a lot more Gears of War run-and-gun stuff in the film, but - again - we ran out of time.

The weapons are a mixture of Nerf and water guns, which I customised, the body armour is biker gear, the helmets are DIY facemasks, and the backpack that Orlokkk is wearing is an old WW2 portable radio kit.
THE MOUTH OF HELL
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You can never have too many barrels on a sci-fi film. Once I found out how cheap barrels were on eBay I bought six of them, painted them, and they sat in my back garden for months. They make great, impactful, set dressing - in fact, I saw one of the very same barrels on the set of the new Star Wars film, when I watched a behind-the-scenes video - as do corrugated plastic sheets.

The latter, however, were a pain in the arse to paint/distress. They used up a ton of paint. We were glad to have them, though, as they covered up parts of the location which would've broken the illusion.

You can also see the body of Funtron 8 in this shot (a water butt - about four times the price of a barrel). 
WALK AND TALK
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This was one of the very last scenes we shot, and we were dead on our feet, woefully behind schedule, I was faced with having to drop about 40% of the script, with no idea how I was going to piece it all together (after the first day I even rewrote the script in my hotel room to make it simpler - and we still had to drop stuff). We had, by this point, also lost one of our principal cast members. Amazingly, everyone remained in high spirits. What a cast and crew!

Consequently, this dialogue was thrown together in about 5 minutes on the fly in a bid to bridge the scenes (and character) we no longer had - and hats off to Jesse "Faktori" Ross for learning it and doing a brilliant job in dire circumstances.

​It means that all the exposition comes across as a big dump of it, rather than in a more finessed fashion. But hey - what are ya gonna do?! Too late now.
BRANNIGAN'S EARLY EXPERIMENTS
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This scene was the first shot, and the one which really set us so behind. Christopher Hood was picking up a flicker on his lights - a consequence of the tunnels' diesel generator - and we lost so much time while he tried to compensate for it. In the end we just had to live with it, and I think it actually adds to the atmosphere.

Pretty much the whole of the first morning on Day 1 was taken up with this one scene. Obviously, it's a very heavily dressed set too (in the bunker's old hospital facility no less); this was more or less a bare room before we came in.

​Also: you can see the head of BW from Biffovision in a jar in the back of one of the shots. He now resides with the sponsor of the series...
JAR JAR BUMS
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Obviously a homage to the scene in Aliens where they find the facehuggers suspended in tubes. I'm disappointed that the bums in jars aren't easier to see... but I do like how grimy and distressed the jars are. I loved a lived-in universe.

Also, there's a really cool skull - with a barcode on its forehead - that you only see in profile in a brief shot. I wish we could've featured that somehow better. Other props in this set include a bunch of Cold War-era Soviet medical gear, oscillators, and other medical and scientific equipment I bought on eBay.

It frustrates me that this scene is so expositional right on the heels of the tunnel scene - but it was unavoidable in the circumstances. Molotov exists as a character to ask the questions the audience might have, but I'm pleased I also managed to give him a character arc. Which is no mean feat in a 15 minute-long film.
HOLE IN ONE
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The bum jars were the hardest props to make. They're basically watercooler jugs with washing up bowls on top, and a light (and a bum) inside. But, as I discovered, watercooler jugs are REALLY hard to cut or manipulate. I nearly took my hand off getting them open to fit the bums inside. 

For this damaged jar I just laid it over the hob on my kitchen cooker, and waited until it was melted enough to punch through. I would've done that with the others if I'd thought about it sooner, rather than trying to hammer a breadknife through them.
ACTION MAN
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This whole sequence was shot at the end of Day 1, and was the first time it felt to me as if we were making something really special. The scale of the tunnels, the lighting, the set dressing, all came together - when I watched it back on the monitor I was blown away. 

Also, hats off to our many volunteers who helped dress this set - especially Oliver and Joe - which had a ton of detail (Xenoxxx banners hanging from the ceiling!) that you barely see on screen.

Also: Jesse, who plays Faktori, looks like a proper action hero here. Like Andy Wear, who played Molotov, he got a military haircut especially for the role and even went to the gym to beef himself up.
IT TASTES BAD
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Massive respect to my good friend Mark who sweated to death inside the bum mask for take after take spent crouching over Jesse, and then crawling away on his hands and knees. Also, pity poor Jesse suffering a KY Jelly-dripping two day-old goujon just millimetres from his mouth.

The reveal of the bum, with it flinging its arms wide, was a tribute to a similar shot in the original Alien. It wasn't easy to get the shot; Mark couldn't see a thing in the mask, so couldn't see where he was facing.

Also, lovely subtle VFX with the gunshots and bullet impacts, courtesy of AJ.

CONTROL ROOM
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We hadn't been able to do a recce of the location before we arrived, so we got very lucky that there were so many astonishing areas that were perfect for what we needed.

This was everyone's favourite set, due to the amount of detail in it. I wanted it to feel like a real place that people had worked and lived in - though much of that might be lost on screen. There was a game of solitaire set up on one side of the desk, coffee mugs - and lots of Polaroids of a strange, green-faced, woman, that I bought on eBay.

Also: one of several appearances from Roaming Thomas... Two Thomases in fact... placed on an electroluminescent sheet. These weren't cheap, but we use quite a lot of them throughout the film as computer screens, or buttons, in the background of shot. They really help to sell the illusion of power.

It was a bit of a pain to shoot on this set, as it was right next door to the tunnel's generator, and the noise was bleeding through. Chris Bullock, our sound recordist, did a fantastic job minimising the racket.
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This screen is the same iPad I used to animate the 2001 and Ghee-Lord sequences, and it was the first thing I bought with the Kickstarter money. Worth every penny. We did talk about having the base map be a hologram, but I wanted everything in the Xenoxxverse to be analogue, old-school, technology, very robust feeling, like it was built to withstand a nuclear war.

You might've noticed the colour red featuring quiet heavily in The Trojan Arse Protocol. Aside from the fact it helps certain key things "pop" on screen - such as the characters - it's also a subtle nod to our backers (along with the Xenoxxx logo) that this is where your money went!

Also: look at the Popping Martian toy! I had one years ago, and thought it'd be a nice little touch to throw into the scene. Apparently, they feature in the background on Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. Which I have not watched.
BUM REVEAL
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Another of my favourite shots, in another of my favourite sets. I'd seen pictures of this area - it used to be a kitchen - online before we shot, and hoped that it'd make a good "Coolant Room". It did! This set was a real hive of activity; all the extras, all the crew and volunteers, working hard to dress it. 

Essentially, this is the point at which you realise that The Trojan Arse Protocol is just one joke - which is the juxtaposition of puerile fart humour with something that feels quite high-end and serious. Nothing is played for laughs - so when the farts come, hopefully they're funny.

The dialogue in the script is deliberately a bit po-faced and action-movie-cliched; "I'm the real monster - not those bum-faced things" is probably my favourite example.
BUMS AHOY
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I love the lighting on this shot. Christopher Hood would despair at my use of smoke on set - but I love how the light filters through it here. I really wanted that 80s movie look. By the end of the two days, the entire bunker was filled with the smoke, wherever you went.

In total, we had 9 bum masks and one bum puppet. Because we couldn't see who was who under their masks, we had to give the extras nicknames; "Spotty bum", "Veiny bum", "Brown bum" etc.
HERO BUM
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This puppet was meant to be in a bunch more shots, but it was actually really tricky to operate. I think it's Steve Horsley who's crouching down and trying to part the buttocks with his hands. So to speak.

There was a whole additional section to this scene originally, with Faktori fighting off a swarm of "Bumcrawlers" - but, again, lost due to time.
RUN AND GUN
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Remember how I mentioned that we lost a cast member before we'd shot all his scenes? Well, in this shot Orlokk is actually played by David Walford - who was there helping out in a variety of ways for the shoot - and just happened to be the perfect shape and size to step into his body armour. Poor David had a bad knee, yet kept going without complaint. 

Also, the two Bum Monsters that go down were only meant to be one; however, extra R. Fred Williams tripped over John Veness, thus giving us two casualties for the price of one! Sorry about the bruises, John.
MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF GOUJONS!
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Having been cooked two days earlier, and sat in a sealed Tupperware box since then, these goujons seriously reeked. They stunk out the entire set.

Again, this was another scene which had a lot more action in it originally. You don't see it in the scene, but there was a whole other room just off to the side of it which had caved in. Sadly, there was no filming in there for health and safety reasons.

The tunnels were astonishingly inhospitable - from the lack of power points (we had, fortunately, invested a load of money in extension cables) to the humidity; by the end of day 2, the camera crew had to spend a couple of hours drying out their gear. 
FILTHY HUMAN MEAT
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And here we have the one and only Violet Berlin, wearing a Goujon John mask, threatening someone with a goujon, in a haunted, abandoned, nuclear bunker, while living bums hammer on a barricade. 'Nuff said.
REUNION
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Violet Berlin and Nam Rood together again! They hadn't seen each other since the Bad Influence days.

Violet's eye make-up was a tribute to the character of Pris from Blade Runner. Given that she only had a couple of lines, Violet's dedication to the part was commendable.

​I also owe her for suggesting Andy for the role of Molotov - which was originally written for Violet. When Andy took over, I wrote the Goujon John Cultist into the script, which informed the entire Church of Goujon John plot.
CAUGHT ON TAPE
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Every time Andy delivered his speech about his daughter - even though it's inherently ridiculous, talking about a dimension that smelled of crabs - I got goosebumps. A brilliant actor, and a lovely, lovely man. I mean, SO lovely. That combination of being a great actor and being easy to work with - absolutely zero ego - is so rare.

I would work with him again in a shot. 

Also... what's that he's putting inside his body armour? Looks like a VHS tape. Hmm... maybe you can extrapolate from that.
THE BIG END
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Once again, I love this set. The big, climactic, sequence was hugely cut down from what was originally scripted - a result of losing both time and the character of Orlokk. You were meant to see a transformed Faktori beat Orlokk to death, and the Cultist escape.

Can I just point out the steam erupting there? I'm very proud of that. That was a disco light/smoke machine thing that I bought. 
THE VORTEX OPENS
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More brilliant VFX from AJ. The triangular vortex is, of course, where Xenoxxx got the shape of its logo. Why is there a giant bum coming through the vortex? Well... originally, a World War 2 aircraft carrier was meant to drop out of it, but then I realised that we needed some sort of Alien Queen-style climax - a bigger version of what we'd seen already.

In my head, Lord Brannigan-7 is bum-obsessed, and the giant bum is just part of the vortex activation technology - rather than, say, an alien bum coming from another dimension.
TRAPPED
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Huge, huge thanks to the extras in this last scene - who had been waiting for hours to have their moment to shine.

By this point, I was seriously fit to drop, and Sid - who owns the tunnels - was breathing down our necks because he wanted to lock up and go to bed, so I just let Christopher Hood get on with it while I started packing up our gear. Even after the shoot wrapped we were there for another couple of hours finishing up. And then had a two-hour drive home.

Again, there was scarcely a cross word during the whole shoot, despite the early starts and late finishes, and astonishing workload. Everybody seemed to be loving every minute of it, and I would work with almost all of them again on anything I did. An amazing bunch of people; thank you, those who backed Found Footage, for bringing us all together.

And that's it. It's over, barring putting together the DVD, fulfilling the backer rewards, and collapsing with exhaustion. I hope you've liked the series... and if you didn't, then I hope you liked the finale. If you didn't like either, then that's okay too, but I hope you've at least appreciated the amount of work put into the show by a lot of very talented, dedicated, hardworking folk.

Also, huge thanks to Nikki Heald, Peter Kwan, David Walford and Glyn Heaviside for running and contributing to the Found Footage ARG that has been bubbling alongside the series. David has written a making-of for the Xenoxxx ZX Spectrum game he wrote. You can read it here, and find Nikki's Goujon John Page here, and Peter's Xenoxxx site here.

You can also contribute to the Xenoxxx wiki, or the Brannigan's Vortex group here.

​Thank you all for watching and being part of this.
20 Comments
David W link
23/10/2017 11:48:18 am

Tammy Lynn's excellent behind-the-scenes photos are also public now:

https://tammylynn.co.uk/foundfootage/

Reply
Paddy Hill
23/10/2017 12:00:42 pm

Congrats and thanks to everyone who helped produce Found Footage. I not only enjoyed the shows but was blown away by all the ARG stuff that backed it up! Splendid effort people! :)

Reply
Glyn
23/10/2017 12:22:30 pm

It's been an amazing ride and I'm humbled that I could be a part of this most wonderful journey. Paul you once said that Digitiser was your Beatles and as much as I love your early work, you've surpassed it entirely. Whatever you may choose to do next, I'm with you.

Reply
THX 1139
23/10/2017 12:26:43 pm

What a strange thing this has been. Congratulations on finishing it to the high standard you achieved, though the grand finale didn't make me laugh like the other episodes did, it was presented in such a serious fashion which made it even weirder. I thought it was Tom Cruise's infamous stunt arse appearing in the vortex at the end.

Best thing about the whole shebang has been Sting playing unfortunate computer games, that was hilarious. Oh well, no more Prince of Darkness dream transmissions from GJ...

Reply
Nikolay Yeriomin link
23/10/2017 12:39:11 pm

Still yet to watch it, but I'm spoiler immune and I always enjoy something a bit more if I have some trivia.

Speaking of trivia - is it just an amazing coincidence that I'm also in the series and I happen to have the first name Nikolay/Nikolai/Mykola (same name, just a lot of variants) or was it my name that inspired Faktori's first one? If so, I feel very honured.

Despite I'm uncredited I'm also really glad that I've donated something after the crowdfunding finished. "Mr. Biffo's Found Footage" is awesome, incredible and inspiring.

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Paul
23/10/2017 12:51:05 pm

Well done all! a great project, and well worth the effort, sweat, blood, tears, etc. etc.. I’ve enjoyed watching it, and have been doing my bit by sharing, tweeting. etc. etc.. Someone replied that “you and Mr Biffo should get a room” so I guess I may have overdone it a bit. Ho hum.

I look forward to the next project. Just take a rest first, damn you!

Reply
Jol
23/10/2017 03:47:13 pm

Extrapolating the VHS tape.... so the FF tape(s) were taken from Xenoxxx by Molotov, who went to the dimension smelling of crabs to find his daughter. As Biffo finding the tapes was the basis of FF, that would mean Molotov ended up in 'our' dimension (and sold them at a car boot sale). So our dimension smells like crabs?

The Finale (and FF as a whole) has been dead good fwiw. A definite highlight of my Sunday evenings for the past few weeks. While it's a pity stuff had to be cut due to time constraints it's still pretty amazing what was put together with just two days of filming.

Reply
Harry Medium
23/10/2017 03:52:33 pm

I loved it, Mr B (even the really weird ones) and I guffawed at least 6 times per episode, apart from in the serious finale.
Good work!

Reply
Treacle
23/10/2017 08:51:39 pm

For two days of shooting and a minuscule budget the finale looks exceptional, with the attention to detail in the set dressing deserving special mention. Andy Wear is a seriously good actor, delivering willfully absurd dialogue with a sincerity that actually made it quite touching. As with the rest of the series the music was outstanding, channeling the essence of classic John Carpenter and combined with the monologue created a spine tingling opening. The visual effects were really impressive, from the Xenoxxx HQ to the swirling clouds that opened in to the portal the whole film defied its budget. Massive respect to all involved on both sides of the camera. Lastly, and I feel most importantly, James Cameron and Ridley Scott should take note, sci fi can be touching, engaging and thought provoking, but can always be made better by the addition of sentient bums.

Reply
David Heslop
23/10/2017 10:27:17 pm

I just wanted to say a huge and hearty congrats to Mr B for everything he's accomplished here. The whole series has been great, but what you've achieved in the Finale here is just remarkable. Being on set and seeing everyone pull together, that absolute sense of belief in a shared endeavour, was a bit moving, if I'm honest. I've never been on a set before where EVERYONE was really into it! Usually you end up with a grumpy cameraman or something! And speaking of grumpy cameramen, that was me holding the camera under Steve's assured direction during the opening "fall of Xenoxx" sequence. Very chuffed to be a part of the action (I was "officially" there to shoot behind-the-scenes stuff) and also glad that it turned out in focus. Anyway, congrats again - put your feet up for a bit, but very excited to see what you want to do next.

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Gaijintendo
23/10/2017 10:38:32 pm

Thank you.

Reply
Nikolay Yeriomin link
24/10/2017 01:34:08 am

Well I finally watched it just in time for our own small crew to be inspired and after a day of filming a lot of scenes for our own series and though despite it was a bit on a tiring side too, I wanted to do more almost immediately. "Mr. Biffo's Found Footage" has that effect on me and fewer even of the favorite shows manage to make me THAT inspired and creative. FF, though, is particularly hard to replace. Mainly because, while I have some creative similarities works that resonate so much with me personally are scarce.

I can only hope my works will inspire as much people that way as FF did. Also I'm filling every room that is my domain with discordant clanks and frenetic behaviour.

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James Walker link
24/10/2017 08:19:16 am

For the first time in years I've actually looked forward to a specific day cos my favourite programme was on. And for that alone, I salute you sir! Thank ee!

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Biscuits
24/10/2017 10:49:28 am

Yes!! I greatly looked forward to a nice beer and FF of a Sunday, and now what is there? Ennui, subsiding into panic and fear? Bring back FF I say

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Biscuits
24/10/2017 10:54:00 am

I loved it all so much, and the finale is AMAZING, I've watched it a bunch. Thanks for your tireless efforts Biffman + all involved

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Sephiroth6072
24/10/2017 12:41:29 pm

I thoroughly enjoyed the whole series and finale and hope that more projects like this happen when it's financially feasible.

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SonOfPurple link
24/10/2017 04:12:37 pm

Well now. Despite the huge artistic shift between the series and special, FF has been thoroughly enjoyable throughout, one of my favourite "TV series" (of sorts) this year and something that's been a real tonic for me these past few weeks.
Although I wasn't able to chip in fiscally I did look to spread the word - mentions in online and offline conversation, posting each week's show on Facebook to admittedly minimal response...
I for one would certainly welcome more Biffo-video at some point, hopefully one day I'll be earning enough to pony up towards it!
Forza Biffo! Forza Found Footage!

Reply
torpidwang
24/10/2017 06:56:00 pm

I got a bit teary at the end. Loved the series. Make more. Thanks

Reply
Mr Biffo
25/10/2017 10:25:25 am

Thanks, you lot. Really means a lot to me to read all this. Massively appreciate you taking the time to write it. Thank you.

Reply
Kelvin Green link
29/10/2017 03:57:33 pm

It's taken me a week to watch the finale, because of drama, so sorry about that, Biffster.

Well done to you and your team. You did a great job and I hope you're all proud of what you've made.

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