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EVERYTHING WRONG WITH THE NINTENDO SWITCH LAUNCH

17/1/2017

37 Comments

 
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To say that Nintendo's Switch unveiling has received a mixed response would be an understatement, akin to suggesting that octopods have "A few extra legs". The general consensus is: fun games, such as they are... nicely designed hardware... ALL OTHER THINGS WRONG.

My prediction? The Switch is going to sell out at launch (which we're never going to hear the end of). It's going to sell better overall than the Wii U. But it isn't going to do the business that Nintendo would like. Third parties will slowly drift away as a result, and we'll get a system that within a couple of years is going to find itself in very much the same situation as the Wii U. Albeit having shifted a few more units.

Does that matter? Possibly not. Nintendo doesn't need to win the console wars. I mean, Microsoft's Xbox One lags way behind the PS4, but it's clearly turning enough of a profit for them to keep persevering with it. That's all Nintendo needs to do: make enough money to keep producing games for the Switch. 

One other positive to take away from this stream of negativity: people are up in arms because they care about Nintendo. Gamers of a certain age genuinely love Nintendo. They want Nintendo to do well. I want Nintendo to do well. You can see this deranged, blind optimism in the number of post-launch posts and pieces refusing to acknowledge that the Switch's third-party support is actually a bit vague in the exact same way it was at the launch of the Wii U, and how everyone is pretending to be excited about the six year-old Skyrim heading to the console. Inexplicable.

Unfortunately, after almost 25 years writing about games I've got a pretty good track record of reading the tea leaves, and history tells me that consoles which stumble out of the gate find it almost impossible to gain ground. Here's everything about the Switch launch which concerns me.
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EAT IT, PIG
1. WEAK LAUNCH LINE-UP
Zelda: Breath of the Wild is looking good, obviously. 1, 2, Switch is supposedly a lot of fun (albeit an untested quantity as far as most punters go). Bomberman will be good, probably. The rest... well... it doesn't exactly scream must-buy. Skylanders Imaginators is available on other systems. Likewise Just Dance 2017 - hardly a hardware-shifting brand. And that's it. Listen to this: pffffft!

2. PRICE TOO HIGH
£280 isn't eye-watering. It's actually a reasonable price, and less than the PS4 and Xbox One arrived at. Nevertheless, it's the wrong price at the wrong time. PS4 and Xbox One are available for a hundred quid less than that now - with an established back catalogue.

It's a question of perception: rightly or wrongly, Nintendo machines aren't viewed as power-heavy machines, but family-friendly systems. £280 may be less than an iPad, or an iPhone, or a PlayStation VR headset, but the perception is that it's priced itself out of the hands of ordinary families. Yes, you get a lot in the box... but you don't get a game. Nintendo needs to either change how it is perceived, or suck it up and accept that people want cheap Nintendo consoles.

3. PERIPHERALS PRICED TOO HIGH
This, though... this is ridiculous. £75 for a second pair of Joy-Con controllers, and £65 for a Switch Pro Controller? Now, that's eye-watering... eye-wateringly stupid!!!!

4. CERTAIN GAMES SEEM TO BE TOO EXPENSIVE
£60 for the Switch version of Breath of the Wild, versus £40 for the Wii U version? They come out on the same day, idiots - which is massive error of judgement. Not exactly tempting Wii U owners to upgrade are they, not least when the game was originally developed for the Wii U? Of course, retailers are going to discount them - but why should they take a hit? They're struggling as it is.

Oh, and before you parrot the tired old line about games costing the same as they did 20 years ago... shut-up, and question your blinkered defence of a company that only wants you to keep breathing so that you can give it money. If you're that casual with your cash, please lob some my way. I need it more than Nintendo does.
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THAT'S NOT GOING TO GET LOST...
5. POOR BATTERY LIFE
​You can expect around 2.5 hours of handheld gaming when playing something like Breath of the Wild, and something like 6 hours if you're playing, I dunno... Zelda II. That's about an hour less than the 3DS XL. That's not catastrophic - you can charge it up via its USB charging port, using a spare battery pack - but again, it's about the expectation. We sort of all expected them to have nailed the whole handheld battery issue, which they clearly haven't done. There's a reason I rarely play on my 3DS: I want ten hours out of a handheld before needing to charge it up.

What's that you say? Technology isn't at that level yet? Well, then don't make stuff which isn't up to muster. It's like trying to sell a time machine cabinet before anyone has invented time travel. And yes, before you all comment that this is an absurd thing to say: I know, alright?

6. CAN'T PLAY AND CHARGE AT THE SAME TIME
This is ridiculous. If you're using the Joycon Grip - which turns the two Joycon controllers into one chunky joypad - you won't be able to charge them at the same time. Once the battery runs out, you'll have to stop playing on the TV, and slot them back into the Switch's handheld base unit. It's alright though; for £28 you can buy a chargeable Joycon Grip. Pity's sake. Why not just slit my abdomen open, Nintendo? There might be a couple of quid in there...

7. NOT POWERFUL ENOUGH
It's telling that when Electronic Arts announced that FIFA was coming to the Switch, they didn't specify which FIFA. Now it's looking as if the Switch's version of FIFA will be based upon the engine used for PS3/Xbox 360 versions.

While Nintendo might push through graphical disparity on the strength of its gameplay, the same can't be said for third-party developers. The biggest knock-on effect of not offering hardware that can compete alongside the PS4 and Xbox One is that third-parties will struggle to port new games to the Switch - as seen on the Wii U. It'll lead to a barren choice of games; the Wii U ended up looking like an outlet store at 5pm on Black Friday. 
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ALSO AVAILABLE ON THE WII U!!!
8. FUTURE GAMES LINE-UP IS WEAK
After launch, the next big game to arrive on Switch is Super Mario Kart 8 Deluxe - which offers a few new tracks and that over the already-released Wii U version of Super Mario Kart 8. For some reason Nintendo is pushing the six year-old Skyrim incredibly hard - and plenty of sites seem to be buying into this as if it's a good thing, rather than an act of sheer desperation.

Later in the year we'll get Splatoon 2 and Arms - which look alright, but don't really feel to me like they're going to help the machine push through. Super Mario Odyssey will be great - I hope - but I've got to be honest here: I'm torn over the real world stuff in that trailer. I'm hanging onto my faith, but nothing I've seen looks as fun as Super Mario Galaxy. 

Where are the rest of Nitnendo's big brands? Where's F-Zero? Where's Donkey Kong? Where's Pilotwings? Where's Metroid? It doesn't matter if those games aren't ready to be unveiled yet - just telling us that they are on the way would've gone a long way to whipping up some excitement.

​9. WEAK AND CONFUSING THIRD PARTY SUPPORT
Realising the stick it has received over the dismal third-party "support" that the Wii and Wii U received, Nintendo has blown a big, brown trumpet when it comes to announcing that third-party publishers will be supporting the Switch. "Everyone's aboard!" seems to be the message.

That may be the case, but dig a little deeper, and it appears that support is coming in the form of older games (Skyrim and the three year-old Rayman Legends, for pity's sake), less power-hungry titles (no Mass Effect: Andromeda, for example, but you will get that new 2D Sonic game, Puyo Puyo Tetris and Lego City Undercover), and "franchises" rather than specific titles (a generic FIFA game, rather than, say, FIFA 2017). 

Excuse me if I don't get too excited about all of that.

10. WEAK AND CONFUSING ONLINE OFFERING
​Uhh... so you need to pay to play online (though not until the Autumn). And there's a smartphone app that lets you connect with friends. And for your monthly subscription you can play an old NES or SNES game for free for a month. Why can't you keep the games indefinitely, you tight-arse gits? They're old games! Stop spitting in your customers' faces!

IN CONCLUSION:
There are only three possible conclusions to draw from all this. Nintendo perhaps exists in a sort of corporate, Japanese, bubble - and is entirely shielded from what the rest of the games world is doing and thinking, and - importantly - wanting from Nintendo. Or Nintendo is well aware of all that, and is just incredibly arrogant. Or I'm completely wrong about all of it. Although - ha ha - that seems highly unlikely!!!!

Unfortunately, it feels to me as if the company has yet to fully emerge from its "Disney Wilderness Years" period - you know, akin to when Disney were putting out movies like The Chair And The Hat, and Harold The Self-Harming Dugong... before they remembered what they were good at.

Anyway. Negativity. It's a lot of fun, yeah?
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
THE NINTENDO SWITCH: SWITCH ON OR SWITCH OFF? - BY MR BIFFO
​
WHICH GAMES CONSOLE HAD THE BEST LOGO?
WHAT DOES THE XBOX LOGO LOOK LIKE?
HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW?

37 Comments
jawa
17/1/2017 11:26:16 am

Man, all this negativity about the Switch is frustrating. I'm not suggesting that some (most?) of it isn't valid... but we're now into our fifth day of doom and gloom! I hope Nintendo is
Iistening (they won't be) and that they'll pep things up before launch (they won't). And then it will become a success and we can all stop being miserable (uhm...).

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Kelvin Green link
17/1/2017 12:12:04 pm

I don't think you can blame Nintendo for the Skyrim thing. Bethesda has just released a new version of the game on PC and console and everyone's going bonkers over it even though it's the same slightly naff game it was six years ago, but with fancier graphics.

Skyrim sells. It shouldn't, but it does.

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PeskyFletch
19/1/2017 02:25:38 pm

Dude, we're not getting another morrowind. Accept it!

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Harry Steele
17/1/2017 12:12:23 pm

Man, that made for tough reading, but sadly it seems mostly fair.

I love the tech but it seems I'd have to spend an arm and a leg to get the 2nd controller and chargers to really make it sing (and so far there's no confirmation of wether it will support people with only one arm and leg left).

Support from AAA 3rd party titles is also a necessary evil as they do fill in the gaps between Nintendo's increasingly infrequent masterpieces. In fact, even Nintendo's big game announcements seem like reheated editions of overexposed characters. Imagine the excitement if they HAD announced a new Metroid game to compete with Mass Effect, for example.

I love Skyrim but still haven't finished the Xbox 360 release yet - I play it every few months or so. Is there really any people out there who've been waiting 6 years for Skyrim to appear on a Nintendo console? It's probably less than a fiver in CEX.

I will try to keep positive - we only worry cos we want Nintendo to do well - but it certainly seems that by playing it safe Nintendo isn't giving anyone what they really want.

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Voodoo76
17/1/2017 12:17:41 pm

You need to get a job working for Nintendo Biffo. I like most people my age love Nintendo (apart from when I had a megadrive and couldn't afford a snes, they were shite). I can't be believe how week the games line up is and the part about releasing an old Fifa is a joke. I think it needs to be on par with current consoles which are what 3yrs old now, not 5yrs behind! Oh and I think the bit about time travel made perfect sense.............

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combat_honey
17/1/2017 12:30:49 pm

I can't help but agree with most of this.

I love the idea of the Switch, but there's a lot to worry about here. The most infuriating of all, for me, is the 'free game' thing. Unlike a lot of the other stuff, it doesn't bother me personally, because if I buy a Switch I probably won't bother with online play and so won't pay for a subscription. But it just seems a bit mean to give away a single NES / SNES game for only a month's *rental*, and invites more unfavourable comparison to the generosity of PSN and XBL than there would have been otherwise. If Nintendo didn't want to do free games at all then that'd be fine - I could actually respect a policy of never giving away free games, especially from Nintendo. But this half-way-house measure seems vaguely insulting, especially taken alongside the unexpectedly high price point and the cost of all the add-ons and accessories, etc.

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Gary_BBGames
17/1/2017 12:31:37 pm

Yeah. It's a shame. I just don't understand it (Nintendo, not the negativity). They should have asked themselves: Why did the Wii U fail?" and then fix those things, but instead they have made all the same mistakes again.

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Tetsujin
17/1/2017 01:40:50 pm

I think a fair few of the issues are just unavoidable consequences of the design brief.

Once you've settled on "portable machine that doesn't break the bank and can plug in to the telly and give a reasonable console experience" a lot of the stuff that's being complained about will just naturally occur.

You're going to be underpowered compared to the old-PC-in-a-box proper consoles, inherently, nothing you can do about it. Even if they'd gone for the Pascal-based GPU rather than the Maxwell, there's still going to be a large gap, and then you've either further hurt your battery life, *and/or* further made it more complicated for developers to reliably target game performance in your portable/docked states. So you're underpowered - you're therefore going to struggle with the standard approach from third parties of cross-platform development as your system requires a lot more attention, time, and money. Thus you're getting "a" FIFA rather than "the latest" FIFA. Battery life is battery life - it doesn't feel out of touch with the state of the art in regular old mobile devices, so likely improvements here at the current time would be marginal, and possibly increase price moreso than the extra life, given the 80/20 nature of these things.

Obvs other stuff, like the lack of first party killer titles, the peripheral pricing, and the online mess, they should've done better at.

But y'know, I feel like complaining too strongly about some of these is a bit like being mad at a cat for not being a dog - which is understandable, and the average consumer will probably be mad for these reasons, but y'know: blah. If you're choosing a cat, there's only so much barking you can whinge that you don't get.

Bark!

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HAM
17/1/2017 12:58:35 pm

As a long time Nintendo fan and owner of a wii u & 3ds (both with around a half a dozen games backlog) I have to admit I've no interest in the switch this year. The upcoming line up is piss poor. Zelda and Mario kart I'll just play on wii u which only leaves Odessy as the sole reason for purchase. Charging for online play is a bit grating but offering me a free monthly snes game and no d-pad to play it with (unless I fork out another 70 boys for proper pad which won't be any use on the go) is another slap in the face. The launch feels very rushed and understated, I think people would stomach the sale price if the games lineup was in a better state, unfortunately it isn't and I'll remain on the fence until otherwise.

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Tetsujin
17/1/2017 01:26:21 pm

I am greatly amused at referring to money as "boys"

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Voodoo76
17/1/2017 02:12:38 pm

Unless HAM really does use "boys" as currency, probably as a result of Brexit!!

Seano
17/1/2017 04:21:02 pm

I'd like to slit Biffo's abdomon open and see if there are any boys in there...

Spiney O'Sullivan
17/1/2017 02:08:51 pm

It would be faster to do a list of things that went right.

1) The bits of Mario Odyssey that did not in any way involve a modern city looked good.
2) Nobody choked to death after accidentally swallowing a Joy-Con.

That would appear to be about it judging by internet reactions. Personally I'm inclined to wait and see. It'll probably do better than the WiiU, at least.

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Jigglypaps
17/1/2017 03:45:22 pm

Why do supposed gamers care how many units are sold relative to the competition? Shareholders who have a vested interest in profiteering, maybe, but gamers--people who just play the games and get the gaming experience? I've never understood this. The gaming experience is all people should surely be concerned with. And if some third parties who’s only interest is profit over experience move away from a console, they’ll fester somewhere where the green is greener, but their games will still be available to us; few consumers have just one platform these days.

There’s only one major thing worrying me about Nintendo and its future and it’s something that no one out there seems to have mentioned—at least not that I've seen. With the ever-increasing shift of development to other talented--but hugely less so--people in the company due to the aging masters, I foresee a future where Nintendo's games continue to be generally less magical than they were in the SNES days in particular. High quality is easy to achieve; exceptional quality is rare across the industry. And exceptional quality is distilled when a game’s whole becomes greater than the sum of the myriad of its brilliant parts.

The signs are there even now. Every 2D Mario game looks the same and has the same soundscape in the soundtrack. Each Mario kart is getting more cosmetically appealing but losing the purity, fun, and difficulty of the very first game. They all have mostly generic soundtracks and the same look, with less and less content deriving from the Mario universe, and instead being replaced with other games’ or real-world stuff which sticks out like a sore thumb and kills the immersivity. And the latest released main 3D Zelda game was very off, particularly musically, as noted by many, and didn’t even make it into the top 10 poll recently of best Zelda games in stark and embarrassing contrast to the day 1 reviews claiming it’s the “best Zelda game ever made”. The new one, when looked at objectively, looks to be a large, empty sandbox and thus boring (hopefully it won’t be), and musically it’s unlikely to be scored anything like previous games given recent announcements. So, that’s probably written that off as an exceptional experience discussed above already. Even the new 3D Mario looks off-piste, with the same bizarre real-world setting cancer marring it. Occasionally in recent time, you’ll get something unexpectedly really good, like Woolly World, but it will be marred by some component that wasn’t (music in this example—no classic like super Mario World etc.), killing its legendary status.

Miyamoto-Kondo were to the gaming world what Spielberg-Williams/Goldsmith were to the film world. Both are all but faded away now thanks to age (and shifting landscape) and merely above average has replaced it—because exceptional talent in the right place is very rare.

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Jigglypaps
17/1/2017 04:10:35 pm

correction: *every RECENT 2D mario game

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Spiney O'Sullivan
17/1/2017 05:36:41 pm

I think that the whole thing with gamers caring about the competition between consoles is mainly because not everybody can afford more than one, let alone them all. So there's a lot of self-justification about why you didn't choose the other ones.

The gamer experience as a whole is all well and good, but many people are forced to choose which large chunks of it they're locked out of.

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prampton fark
18/1/2017 01:50:45 pm

Definitely this, but some people would argue that greater support=more devs and more games

Lofty from EastEnders
17/1/2017 04:29:05 pm

I saw the announcement that EastEnders intended to switch Michelles -- an intend-o-switch. I would happily dock with either one, if that's okay with everyone else.

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Starbuck
17/1/2017 09:34:57 pm

Perhaps the best comment on this article. Together with the one below.

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DEAN
18/1/2017 12:45:39 am

Thanks, Starbuck! (Say hi to Apollo!)

You, I, Mr Biffo, Michelle... know full well that daring to speak out against the big 'N' is tantamount to inciting a holy war!
Except we're all on the same side.

SO SAY WE ALL

Being a contrarian is such fun!

DEAN
17/1/2017 07:06:59 pm

"shut-up, and question your blinkered defence of a company that only wants you to keep breathing so that you can give it money."

FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG STOP FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG

*BREATHE*

FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG PARP FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG..............................

"NEIGH!!!!" *SNORT SNORT*

That, folks, is the sound of a dead horse being flogged and tragically not the clatter of cash registers throughout the land ringing to the sound of the preorders that won't ever be heard the last of.

SPEAKING OF (S)WITCH:

At time of posting, the official Nintendo store in the UK still has the grey pad version available to preorder. I've bought stuff from them in the past and they're rock solid. You get free delivery and an extra years guarantee!

http://store.nintendo.co.uk/nintendo-switch-console/nintendo-switch-console-with-grey-joy-con/11396089.html#EbYYpPH2VKVujDOM.97

I am 100% unaffiliated, just trying to be helpful :O)

Nintendo and I go way back... more than 25 years in fact, and in all that time I've noticed 1 constant with them - Nobody really does things like Nintendo. Arrogant money grubbing bastards? Of course.... Out of touch at times? Sure. Idiosyncratic? YES!
Like Old Blue Eyes, they do things their way... they've regrets... too few to mention! Their track record is one of insane success - seriously, look at the numbers.... You need more than 2 hands... you know, those things you can't find your own ass with.

I've no interest (maybe a bit) in talking about battery life or 3rd party games but to say that Nintendo don't know what they're doing...
They're not stupid, you know! Every move they've made so far makes sense, you can see the workings out.... look harder and the pen's left impressions...
There's a vision behind the SWITCH that makes crystalline sense - Nintendo are playing out a bigger picture and all their ducks are in the process of being lined-up.

I see this so differently from the hackneyed 'net punditry that I keep reading over and over.... Nintendo are on the verge of being more relevant than they've been in a long time. Apple / Android reach, a greater commitment to online gaming (I know....) AND.....

UNIVERSAL STUDIOS
That's big right there. I think an entire essay could easily be written about the potential ramifications of something of that scale. It's unprecedented and tremendously exciting.

YOSHI'S OMELETTES
Nintendo right now is playing a longer more focused game than it ever has. The SWITCH's lacklustre release schedule is a casualty of that - they're getting it out the gates fast, letting it slowly build up a 2nd head of steam in time for Christmas. Then it really starts.

ZELDA LAUNCH FOR FANBOYS - SELL OUT

BUILD BUILD BUILD

MARIO FOR EVERYONE - HOTTEST THING THIS CHRISTMAS

Will it be too little too late?
Xbox One S, anyone?

CROSSED WITH SILVER
I love the image of you as a gypsy with a tea strainer!

FULL DISCLOSURE
I am a Nintendo fanboy extraordinaire and I know they only really love me for my money and that's okay... I only love them for their sweet assets.

FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FROG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FROG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG FLOG HONK

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Targy
18/1/2017 01:56:41 pm

I'm not sure if your post is meant to disparage Biffo for reporting what everybody else is saying, or Nintendo for setting up such easy targets again and again. Should people lie?

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DEAN
18/1/2017 03:15:54 pm

Neither.

My comment concerns the truth as I see it!

Yes they should. Have a little lie down and think about opinions that differ from the widely held view.

It's a round World....

Kelvin Green link
17/1/2017 07:51:57 pm

Oh, and does it matter if it's not the "latest" FIFA when FIFA has been the same for about fifteen years?

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Conor Stevenson
17/1/2017 08:35:09 pm

I also love Nintendo but it was a woeful launch announcement.

Are Nintendo now over-obsessed with creating innovative hardware? While the Wii was simple for the masses to understand (wave your arms about like a maniac) the Wii U was just confusing.

We now have analogue sticks, d-pads, shoulder buttons, rumble support and motion controls. This is more than enough - they should now get more people making games like the ones Biffo mentioned, Metroid, Pilotwings and the like.

I won't just swoon at fancy hardware without top games to play on it.

A positive note - the 3DS also had a poor launch but Nintendo managed to rescue it. With good games.

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Kirby
17/1/2017 08:37:26 pm

Everything, EVERYTHING, about this launch is disappointing and even infuriating. But for some reason, I keep coming back to the fact the Joycon grip that comes with the machine doesn't allow you to charge the controllers while playing.

Like, I forget to charge my PS4 controller ALL THE TIME. And I end up tethering it to the console with a cable and play away.

But that there's a chargeable grip available at launch for TWENTY EIGHT POUNDS that presumably costs marginally more to produce and isn't packaged in the box with the machine.

I mean, that's kinda unforgivable. It may be the most brazen bit of money grubbing I've seen since... well, Nintendo charged £7.99 for 24 levels of a Mario game that you can only play online.

*cancels pre-order*

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Bad bill
17/1/2017 09:12:08 pm

Price seems fair to me given how cack the exchange rate is at the moment.

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Bryan Langley link
17/1/2017 09:45:58 pm

Look all we really need to know is: will the dock offer toaster functionality? YES or NO NINTENDO?!

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Tetsujin
18/1/2017 02:16:38 pm

NINTEND-NO OR NINTEND-YES?!?!?!?!

Check inside Gary Busey's ears for the answer!

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Euphemia
18/1/2017 06:00:22 am

Underwhelming. No, not strong enough. Shit. That's the word I'm looking for. It looks shit.

Probably will sell out at launch. But, so did the NES Classic, and that was a success. If you count the disappointment of the majority of punters who couldn't actually buy one of the shitting things as a success and who, post-xmas, are unlikely to waste their money on it.

Twats, I tell you. TWATS.

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DEAN
18/1/2017 10:37:47 am

Have you seen the launch line-up for the NES Classic?
Okay it came bundled with some games but there's literally nothing else on the way!

I bought one and it's cute and all (especially the miniature joypad cable) but I don't really use it much (at all). But if Nintendo release a SNES mini this Christmas, I'll be on it like spots on a mushroom!

But yeah, the SWITCH launch line-up is a spectacular thing to behold.... It's like a lesson (sermon) from Ninty's good book on how to wring the most out of your biggest franchises.

If you've only really got Zelda and 1-2 SWITCH, both important games. Zelda obvs... 1-2 SWITCH for the complete new Ninty-fresh experience at peak flow.

A lot of people don't even buy that many games (I can't remember the numbers but attach rate is weirdly low) and a solid Zelda experience could last for ages.
Sure you can play it on the Wii U but who in their right mind wants to play it on yesterdays toys?! Save £20 and that but c'mon! Anyone who wants to play that game wants to play it on a SWITCH.

1-2 SWITCH is a game I can see my kids having a lot of fun with.
My daughter wouldn't allow the Wii U to be traded in if I couldn't replace Just Dance 17 - she loves that and Mariokart... Indeed, if I took Just Dance away I'd probably be flown-at on the stairs by a screeching marmoset hellbent on vanquishing me.
See, from my point of view....

I went on a bit again... I just can't help myself...

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Sordid French Daniel
18/1/2017 02:02:18 pm

What reason is there to play Zelda on Switch? With Twilight on Wii you had all the exciting new motion controls and what have you, but I can't see the benefit in the Switch version of Zelda at all

Tetsujin
18/1/2017 02:18:16 pm

Switch Zelda benefits: it appears to at least run at a playable framerate according to Digital Foundry's investigations. Wii U footage hasn't been seen for ages though, so there's a chance that's improved from the "shoddy" showing it made previously.

DEAN
18/1/2017 03:40:21 pm

Daniel, I understand your point and I have no wish to hijack Tetsujin's frame rate reason (until he said it I was completely unaware).

My point is very simple - patronisingly so:

Dan - here's your new game on your old machine OR would you like to play it on the new one?

I know... money... I can't argue with that!
Even so, money being no object, Sheik Dan would be rocking that SWITCH Zelda, am I right?

Cc
18/1/2017 04:19:28 pm

No He-Man launch game equals disaster.

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Richard
19/1/2017 09:31:15 pm

Some genuine good points made Biffo 😢 I got to play with the switch last week and was pleasantly surprised IMO it's a great bit of hardware, build quality was high and I can sort of get where the high price of peripherals comes from having used it. There has been a slight price drop on games and controls. 1-2 Switch is fun but should be in the box.
The launch line up is thin on the ground but for me that's not a problem the amount I get to play, Zelda will keep me going for months. This could get me gaming more, I've never been a fan of hand held gaming but Switch doesn't feel like your playing a handheld, I can sit next to mrs and play without being totally antisocial, use it on the tube on my trudge east to west. The days of buying every must have game and never finishing them are long gone quality over quantity for me. Middle aged and still love the magic Nintendo can bring, I've really fallen out of love with the PS4/Xbox bored stiff of them tbh. Looking forward to march looking forward to switch. Try looking for the positives in life! Middle aged ramblings over.

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Captain Red Dog
20/1/2017 08:27:15 pm

You have said it before Biffo and I'm surprised you didn't say it here. Nintendo hates us. That literally explains everything. And we will still buy it, because we like being treated like the filthy animals we are.

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