This might surprise you, but I didn't hate Sega's 32X.
You remember it don't you? Yes. Yes, you do. It was the other add-on for the Mega Drive - the cartridge-based one, rather than the one with the flat, shiny, roundies. It was able to play games with real nice 3D graphics and stuff, but get this: everybody in the land hated it.
I remember going to the UK launch, and being rather impressed with it. I was surprised by the amount of stick it got for all sorts of things - not least its version of Doom, which was played inside a smallish window that PC owners found hysterical. Really, though... by that point, I think people just wanted reasons to hate anything Sega did.
Truth is, if you were a Mega Drive owner, being able to play any sort of Doom was still pretty impressive. Star Wars Arcade was decent enough. Knuckles Chaotic was an interesting - oh-hoh! - "spin" on the Sonic forumla, and there were respectable ports of Virtua Fighter and Virtua Racing.
So, in theory - in isolation - the 32X wasn't, in and of itself, bad. It refreshed the Mega Drive at a point where the Mega Drive needed refreshing. Unfortunately, timing is everything, and the 32X had the worst timing in gaming history. Indeed, were the 32X a stand-up comedian it would've taken a two-week holiday prior to delivering the punchline to the opening joke of its set.
Sega fans didn't want it, because they knew the Saturn was around the corner, and had been burned once already by an add-on - the Mega CD. Nobody else wanted it, because they were waiting for the Nintendo 64 and PlayStation. Not enough third-party developers made games for it. And, well, Sega pulled the plug after little more than a year.
Which meant that there were a lot of already-announced 32X games left in limbo. Some of these were reworked for the Saturn or other consoles. Some simply disappeared altogether. Here are ten of the latter.
You remember it don't you? Yes. Yes, you do. It was the other add-on for the Mega Drive - the cartridge-based one, rather than the one with the flat, shiny, roundies. It was able to play games with real nice 3D graphics and stuff, but get this: everybody in the land hated it.
I remember going to the UK launch, and being rather impressed with it. I was surprised by the amount of stick it got for all sorts of things - not least its version of Doom, which was played inside a smallish window that PC owners found hysterical. Really, though... by that point, I think people just wanted reasons to hate anything Sega did.
Truth is, if you were a Mega Drive owner, being able to play any sort of Doom was still pretty impressive. Star Wars Arcade was decent enough. Knuckles Chaotic was an interesting - oh-hoh! - "spin" on the Sonic forumla, and there were respectable ports of Virtua Fighter and Virtua Racing.
So, in theory - in isolation - the 32X wasn't, in and of itself, bad. It refreshed the Mega Drive at a point where the Mega Drive needed refreshing. Unfortunately, timing is everything, and the 32X had the worst timing in gaming history. Indeed, were the 32X a stand-up comedian it would've taken a two-week holiday prior to delivering the punchline to the opening joke of its set.
Sega fans didn't want it, because they knew the Saturn was around the corner, and had been burned once already by an add-on - the Mega CD. Nobody else wanted it, because they were waiting for the Nintendo 64 and PlayStation. Not enough third-party developers made games for it. And, well, Sega pulled the plug after little more than a year.
Which meant that there were a lot of already-announced 32X games left in limbo. Some of these were reworked for the Saturn or other consoles. Some simply disappeared altogether. Here are ten of the latter.
VIRTUA HAMSTER
After fighting and racing, the next logical extension of Sega's Virtua brand was, of course... hamsters. No, really; this actually existed... albeit not without generating some internal turmoil when the Virtua team objected to their brand being applied to a stupid game about little furry guys. Following this brouhaha, it was briefly retitled Virtual Hamsters, before development was halted.
Admittedly, you can sort of understand why. The game was designed to show off the 32X's polygon-shifting capabilities, and would've seen you racing a rocket-propelled hamster on a skateboard through various tunnels n' tubes - right into Richard Gere's bumhole!!!!
Allegedly.
Admittedly, you can sort of understand why. The game was designed to show off the 32X's polygon-shifting capabilities, and would've seen you racing a rocket-propelled hamster on a skateboard through various tunnels n' tubes - right into Richard Gere's bumhole!!!!
Allegedly.
32 XTREME
Little is known about 32 Xtreme, beyond it being some sort of extreme sports title, with a number of different activities - including jet skiing, snowboarding, and,.. uhhhh... frisbee. Perhaps they would've made the frisbee-ing more extreme by requiring you to throw the frisbees... right up Richard Gere's bumhole!!!
DYNAMITE HEADDY
One of the finest Mega Drive platformers - indeed, one of the finest platform games full stop - Dynamite Headdy was, apparently, coming to the 32X. It's unknown whether it was a brand new game, or a souped-up special edition. Either way, it simply highlights the sad fact that there has only ever been one Dynamite Headdy game.
Why... why there no more Dynamite Headdy games, Sega?
Why... why there no more Dynamite Headdy games, Sega?
ECCO THE DOLPHIN
Another demonstration of how Sega didn't have a clue when it had a good thing going, the Ecco the Dolphin series never made it beyond the Mega Drive.
Yes, there was a Mega CD game, but after the cancellation of a proposed 32X instalment, Ecco was confined to history.
Reports suggest that the 32X title may have - briefly - shifted development onto the Saturn. Either way - neither game got released. Ultimately, Ecco the Dolphin drowned when Sega bunged-up his blowhole with tissue paper.
All of which is a shame, as if rumours are to be believed, the action in the 32X version would've shifted from the deep ocean to the interior of Richard Gere's bumhole!!!!!
Yes, there was a Mega CD game, but after the cancellation of a proposed 32X instalment, Ecco was confined to history.
Reports suggest that the 32X title may have - briefly - shifted development onto the Saturn. Either way - neither game got released. Ultimately, Ecco the Dolphin drowned when Sega bunged-up his blowhole with tissue paper.
All of which is a shame, as if rumours are to be believed, the action in the 32X version would've shifted from the deep ocean to the interior of Richard Gere's bumhole!!!!!
DAYTONA USA
Yes: yes there was a version of Sega's arcade smash Daytona USA in development for the 32X.
Given that the Saturn version was derided for its weak, clippy, visuals and grinding frame-rate - and suffered terribly in comparison to Ridge Racer on the PlayStation, and likely contributed to the Saturn's defeat at the hands of its rival - there's little guarantee that a 32X version would have been any better.
In all honesty, I never hated the Saturn's version of Daytona as much as everybody else seemed to. I thought it played well enough that I could overlook the choppy graphics. Yes, Ridge Racer looked and played better on the PlayStation, but - for me - Daytona had more character and charm. I'm a sucker for charm.
Charm me, daddy!
Given that the Saturn version was derided for its weak, clippy, visuals and grinding frame-rate - and suffered terribly in comparison to Ridge Racer on the PlayStation, and likely contributed to the Saturn's defeat at the hands of its rival - there's little guarantee that a 32X version would have been any better.
In all honesty, I never hated the Saturn's version of Daytona as much as everybody else seemed to. I thought it played well enough that I could overlook the choppy graphics. Yes, Ridge Racer looked and played better on the PlayStation, but - for me - Daytona had more character and charm. I'm a sucker for charm.
Charm me, daddy!
DIGITAL SHINOBI
Another sadly forgotten Sega franchise, Shinobi was intended to continue on the 32X. Almost nothing is known about the proposed title, but even a scant hint of its existence is enough to make me howl with disappointment. You see, I loved Revenge of Shinobi on the Mega Drive.
Its immediate follow-up, Shadow Dancer, lacked something special, and every sequel since - there have been more Shinobi games released than you might have realised (most recently in 2011 on the 3DS) - has failed to live up to that first Mega Drive instalment.
Of course, the fact that Digital Shinobi was cancelled suggests it wouldn't have fared any better, but still... the grass is always greener (browner)... up Richard Gere's bum!!!!!
Its immediate follow-up, Shadow Dancer, lacked something special, and every sequel since - there have been more Shinobi games released than you might have realised (most recently in 2011 on the 3DS) - has failed to live up to that first Mega Drive instalment.
Of course, the fact that Digital Shinobi was cancelled suggests it wouldn't have fared any better, but still... the grass is always greener (browner)... up Richard Gere's bum!!!!!
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 2: SPECIAL EDITION
In much the same way that Sega failed to capitalise on its Sonic franchise by never releasing a bona-fide Sonic The Hedgehog game on the Saturn, it also dropped the ball on the 32X. Knuckles Chaotic was the closest the add-on got to a proper Sonic game, but there was also a proposed Special Edition of Sonic 2 in the works. Except: this is a big lie.
Despite rumours in the years since the 32X's demise, it's likely that Sonic 2: Special Edition never existed, and was merely the result of a cruel internet hoax. Like those rumours about Richard Gere.
Despite rumours in the years since the 32X's demise, it's likely that Sonic 2: Special Edition never existed, and was merely the result of a cruel internet hoax. Like those rumours about Richard Gere.
SONIC MARS
Of course, Sega did have a Sonic game in development for the 32X. Sonic Xtreme - the announced-but-never-released 3D Sonic title for the Saturn - started life as something called Sonic Mars (because Mars was the working name of the 32X, see).
By all accounts, Sonic Mars never got beyond a short proof-of-concept demo, and a pitch document which tied the game into the Sonic The Hedgehog TV cartoon series.
Also: it was no relation to the pop singer Bruno. Do you see?
By all accounts, Sonic Mars never got beyond a short proof-of-concept demo, and a pitch document which tied the game into the Sonic The Hedgehog TV cartoon series.
Also: it was no relation to the pop singer Bruno. Do you see?
X-MEN: MIND GAMES
A 2.5D platformer/beat 'em up/shoot 'em up hybrid, a leaked prototype of X-Men Mind Games shows the character of Bishop trapped inside a giant pinball table and fighting ninjas. It's not pretty to watch, but - as a 32X exclusive - it would've done alright, probably.
No doubt Richard Gere would've preferred something called X-Men: Bum Games!!!!!!!!
No doubt Richard Gere would've preferred something called X-Men: Bum Games!!!!!!!!
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