The self-publishing listicle from earlier this week was too much fun not to do it all over again.
So we're doing it all over again.
Here's another trawl through the bizarre/poorly sub-edited underbelly of so-called vanity publishing.
Brace yourselves... as several of these book titles aren't entirely safe for work... Unless you work in a very liberal environment, that is.
"Im known as Peter the Busker or Busker Peter, I ride a Chopper Pedle Bike with a trailer and I play a Yamaha P60 and Im Touring in Germany performing in the street. The reason I am Touring in Germany is because I am an Artist, I support myself by Busking. If you want to hire me to perform somewhere or record somewhere. 6000 Euros is my fee.
"I suggest you read all my books and then you will understand why I charge 6000 Euros for a performance. If you haven't got the time to read my books, then please dont call me and don't waste my time because I have moved on from all this."
"Lovers, runners, hunters, dogs, deer, rabbits, normal cats, and even motorists begin to fall victim to the predations of these enhanced felines. An unemployed scientist, a small special ops team, a grieving father, a chief of security, and a homeless veteran join forces to try to prevent a catastrophe.
"To make matters worse, the scientist discovers that the first generation offspring will be even bigger and more aggressive, and then they learn that the food also affects dogs and rats."
"If only he knew what awaited him there.
"Hero will face threats and meet a tigress, a penguin, and even condors as he unravels the planet's mysteries on his way to save Plan."
"Soon enough, Lance becomes close with this mysterious new astronaut, a velociraptor. Together, they form an unlikely duo, which quickly begins to cross the boundaries of friendship into something much, much more sensual.
"It’s not gay if it’s a man and a dinosaur, is it?"
"When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs."
Everything seemed to be going as planned until the Supreme Crystals warned King Farook that because the Black Hole above Aurion had collapsed into itself, the fabric of Space-Time had changed.
Time was running out, Futuna now had only 33 hours to get Jenny to Crystalfairia.
"Knowing her Genification was in jeopardy, King Farook decided that he had to go instead of Futuna to get Jenny. Will King Farrok get Jenny to Crystalfairia in time? Will Jenny meet Titanimus and the Seven Supreme Crystals? Will Jenny receive her Genie Powers after all? Will Jenny go on future adventures in Book 5?"
"The real estate woman denied having all knowledge of this hole. Meanwhile, the floor was covered over with carpet so the hole couldn't be seen. After moving in, this couple started noticing people missing when they came to either work there or visited. Their young son said that there was an alien monster living under the floor who ate people that intended harming them. The monster was friendly to him though and didn't bother other family members.
"Would you feel comfortable living in a house with a strange creature living under your floor? Maybe you already do if you have a hole in your floor. This book is suitable for all audiences."
"Ben was determine though to have a nice home-grown turkey for Thanksgiving so started sharpening his axe. This story is similar to A Pet Turkey for Thanksgiving but has explicit sex scenes."
"He discovers that his happy home is about to crash and burn due to his tightness with money. This short story is based on a true story and is suitable for all age groups."