It didn't help that, for me, Microsoft's E3 presentation suffered a weird lag, which made everyone who walked out on stage appear drunk. If anything, however, that actually improved matters, and lent a surreal, soporific, dream-like quality to an event that otherwise felt far too familiar with its blend of familiar game genres and PR-speak.
Admittedly, lessons have - to a point - long been learnt from previous years, and the focus was firmly on games. This didn't stop the stifled autocue reading, or Phil Spencer's self-satisfied swagger, or the number of games that were showcased with scarcely any actual gameplay shown. It didn't stop there being an enormous amount of hyperbole about the next Xbox console, and very little in the way of actual detail.
But we'll get to that.
Here are the main things I took away from Microsoft at E3; from Keanu Reeves to how much Phil Spencer reminds me of a corrupt prison guard.
Admittedly, lessons have - to a point - long been learnt from previous years, and the focus was firmly on games. This didn't stop the stifled autocue reading, or Phil Spencer's self-satisfied swagger, or the number of games that were showcased with scarcely any actual gameplay shown. It didn't stop there being an enormous amount of hyperbole about the next Xbox console, and very little in the way of actual detail.
But we'll get to that.
Here are the main things I took away from Microsoft at E3; from Keanu Reeves to how much Phil Spencer reminds me of a corrupt prison guard.
PROJECT SCARLETT
We didn't learn a great deal new about Microsoft's next console. We already knew the codename, but we did discover that it'll be out in time for Christmas 2020, and that it'll be, like, soooo amazing and that. No really; they were really keen to tell us how amazing it'd be. Imagine that! A new console that's going to be amazing! I don't know about you, but I never saw that one coming...!!!!!?!!!!!!
I've seen a few outlets reporting the ground-breaking news that Scalett will feature "more processing power" than any of the current Xbox One models, as if that's some massive surprise. It's also going to be, apparently, the biggest generational leap between Xboxes that Microsoft has ever achieved. That remains to be seen, frankly.
Slightly more surprising is that Scarlett will have an SSD drive - just like the PlayStation 5 - and the main benefit they seemed keen to promote is the removal of load times. Personally, I'd be more excited if they'd found a way to do away with day one updates.
Spencer was clearly reacting to the less-than-enthused response to Google Stadia, by reassuring players that physical hardware would still be at the heart of their gaming experience. There were, however, allusions to streaming games... but Spencer was clearly soft-pedalling, for risk of a Stadia-like backlash.
"When we talk about Xbox in the cloud, when we talk about streaming your games, Project Scarlett and all of its power and all of its performance is the foundation of our future in console and the formation of our future in cloud," was about as specific as he got on that front.
Oh, and it'll be backwards-compatible in some fashion.
But anyway. The next generation of consoles begins next year. It'll be amazing!!!!?!!!!!!
I've seen a few outlets reporting the ground-breaking news that Scalett will feature "more processing power" than any of the current Xbox One models, as if that's some massive surprise. It's also going to be, apparently, the biggest generational leap between Xboxes that Microsoft has ever achieved. That remains to be seen, frankly.
Slightly more surprising is that Scarlett will have an SSD drive - just like the PlayStation 5 - and the main benefit they seemed keen to promote is the removal of load times. Personally, I'd be more excited if they'd found a way to do away with day one updates.
Spencer was clearly reacting to the less-than-enthused response to Google Stadia, by reassuring players that physical hardware would still be at the heart of their gaming experience. There were, however, allusions to streaming games... but Spencer was clearly soft-pedalling, for risk of a Stadia-like backlash.
"When we talk about Xbox in the cloud, when we talk about streaming your games, Project Scarlett and all of its power and all of its performance is the foundation of our future in console and the formation of our future in cloud," was about as specific as he got on that front.
Oh, and it'll be backwards-compatible in some fashion.
But anyway. The next generation of consoles begins next year. It'll be amazing!!!!?!!!!!!
HALO INFINITE
We knew already that a new Halo was in the works, and that it'd continue the story of Master Chief. We learned at E3, however, that it's going to be a Project Scarlett launch title. No gameplay was shown, but we did get an extended cut-scene that was - apparently - running on the game engine. It was fine, as these things go, but it didn't exactly scream "next generation".
I was actually surprised by how invested I am in a new Halo. I really didn't think much of Halo 5, and I consider the whole series to be vastly overrated. That said, there's an openness and a sense of scale to Halo which is starkly different to most of the claustrophobic, generic, sci-fi shooter games Microsoft was showing off.
By the time Borderlands 3 appeared - even with its cel-shaded visuals - all of Microsoft's heavy-hitters had started to blend into one. It's testament to Halo's idiosyncratic style that it has always felt apart from everything else.
That said... we know almost nothing about the game itself, beyond the fact it's coming, and that Master Chief isn't dead.
Which of course he isn't, because he's a hugely marketable fictional character.
I was actually surprised by how invested I am in a new Halo. I really didn't think much of Halo 5, and I consider the whole series to be vastly overrated. That said, there's an openness and a sense of scale to Halo which is starkly different to most of the claustrophobic, generic, sci-fi shooter games Microsoft was showing off.
By the time Borderlands 3 appeared - even with its cel-shaded visuals - all of Microsoft's heavy-hitters had started to blend into one. It's testament to Halo's idiosyncratic style that it has always felt apart from everything else.
That said... we know almost nothing about the game itself, beyond the fact it's coming, and that Master Chief isn't dead.
Which of course he isn't, because he's a hugely marketable fictional character.
PROJECT XCLOUD
So, streaming is coming to Microsoft's world, with the Xbox finally catching up with the PS4, to become your personal (and free) server. It'll allow you to stream any Xbox One game to almost any device with a screen, anywhere in the world. How this will work in practice remains to be seen - will you need to leave your Xbox One on when you leave the house? Some sort of standby mode, a la the PS4?
Again, Microsoft were cagey and brief, as streaming has suddenly become a dirty word in the wake of Stadia. It's pretty clear, however, if you read between the lines, that Microsoft - along with Sony - believes that streaming is the long-term future for games.
Again, Microsoft were cagey and brief, as streaming has suddenly become a dirty word in the wake of Stadia. It's pretty clear, however, if you read between the lines, that Microsoft - along with Sony - believes that streaming is the long-term future for games.
GEARS 5
The Gears 5 trailer was long, and dull, and weird, and for a while it looked as if we weren't going to see any actual gameplay. But then they announced a new game mode - Escape - and it looked as if we were going to get some gameplay. But then they showed it off with some pre-rendered tedium.
In short: Escape will see you and a team of other players plant a bomb, and have to escape before its choking gas clouds kill you. Okay.
Gears 5: I Couldn't Be Less Interested.
In short: Escape will see you and a team of other players plant a bomb, and have to escape before its choking gas clouds kill you. Okay.
Gears 5: I Couldn't Be Less Interested.
EVERYTHING ELSE TRIPLE-A
Cyberpunk 2077, some fantasy RPG thing, Sega's Phantasy Star Online 2, anime thing, another anime thing, assorted over designed sci-fi action shenanigans, zombie game, another zombie game, a new Elite controller... nothing really stood out as either surprising or different. And nothing really got me that excited. Except, perhaps, the new Lego DLC for Forza Horizon 4, and Lego Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga.
And Microsoft Flight Simulator coming to Xbox! That looked particularly gorgeous, I have to say.
There's a new Battletoads, but that was never my favourite series, and I can't say the new art style did anything for me.
Oh yeah - and a Blair Witch game. Only, like, 15 years too late, but at least it wasn't more people with cybernetic arms running past explosions (hello, Bleeding Edge and The Outer Worlds).
And Microsoft Flight Simulator coming to Xbox! That looked particularly gorgeous, I have to say.
There's a new Battletoads, but that was never my favourite series, and I can't say the new art style did anything for me.
Oh yeah - and a Blair Witch game. Only, like, 15 years too late, but at least it wasn't more people with cybernetic arms running past explosions (hello, Bleeding Edge and The Outer Worlds).
INDIE GAMES
Only a handful of Indie games got a full trailer - RPG Time: The Legend of Wright looked particularly nice, if a touch confusing, and 12 Minutes (an interactive, Groundhog Day-esque, thriller) had my interest.
Most of the rest were lumped into a rapid-fire montage. All of them, without exception, piqued my curioisty more than any of Microsoft's mega-budget games. At least you could tell them apart from one another.
Tim Schafer's Double Fine was also announced as a newly-acquired Microsoft studio, but I confess to being left a bit cold by the reveal of Pyschonauts 2. Though, technically, I guess that can't be classed as an indie game now that Microsoft owns the company. Still, at least the impressively-bearded Schafer went off-script, leaving Spencer to grin clumsily.
Most of the rest were lumped into a rapid-fire montage. All of them, without exception, piqued my curioisty more than any of Microsoft's mega-budget games. At least you could tell them apart from one another.
Tim Schafer's Double Fine was also announced as a newly-acquired Microsoft studio, but I confess to being left a bit cold by the reveal of Pyschonauts 2. Though, technically, I guess that can't be classed as an indie game now that Microsoft owns the company. Still, at least the impressively-bearded Schafer went off-script, leaving Spencer to grin clumsily.
KEANU REEVES
Probably the most human moment of the Microsoft presentation was the arrival of Keanu Reeves, who we now know has lent his voice to Cyberpunk 2077. He did his usual awkward stride onto the stage, but seemed genuinely overwhelmed by the crowd's response to him.
So when he was forced into reading more scripted autocue propaganda, there was a sense of tragedy to proceedings. Which, to be fair, Keanu does very well.
When exactly did everyone start loving Keanu Reeves again? He went through this period where he was considered a bit of a joke, but in recent years - we can probably thank the Sad Keanu meme as the tipping point - he became something of a global treasure.
So when he was forced into reading more scripted autocue propaganda, there was a sense of tragedy to proceedings. Which, to be fair, Keanu does very well.
When exactly did everyone start loving Keanu Reeves again? He went through this period where he was considered a bit of a joke, but in recent years - we can probably thank the Sad Keanu meme as the tipping point - he became something of a global treasure.
IN CONCLUSION
60 games in total were shown during the 90-minute presentation. By the end, I was losing the will to live.
I don't like being negative in the face of so much talent and artistry, but I was bored. When it comes to the big tentpole releases, there are so many similar games, so many similar-looking games, that I find it hard to get enthused. It just feels like more of the same. It seems like a long time since we've had a big leap - not in hardware, but in gameplay.
Heck; not just in gameplay, but in genre. If you ignore indie, it's all sci-fi shooters, zombies, or generic fantasy. There's a massive dearth of imagination in the games industry, and Microsoft highlighted it.
Plus, I do wish they wouldn't bring developers onto the stage to read from autocues; it undercuts any sense of excitement. Not every nerd is a Steve Jobs, and tech companies need to wake up to this. We don't need to see some nervous developer, who's only really comfortable when staring at a computer screen, get up in front of thousands of people and expect them to be engaging; it's horrible for them, and awkward for the rest of us.
And if you are going to get a bona-fide movie star on stage, give them something more interesting to do than reel off the same old corporate autocue bollocks.
Maybe I'm just old and jaded, but I watched IGN's pre-show, and felt completely detached from their attempts at excited speculation. I couldn't relate to a hall full of Xbox fans whooping excitedly at every announcement, at the way the would applaud every trailer. That slavish devotion to a corporate brand is just alien to me.
I don't like being negative in the face of so much talent and artistry, but I was bored. When it comes to the big tentpole releases, there are so many similar games, so many similar-looking games, that I find it hard to get enthused. It just feels like more of the same. It seems like a long time since we've had a big leap - not in hardware, but in gameplay.
Heck; not just in gameplay, but in genre. If you ignore indie, it's all sci-fi shooters, zombies, or generic fantasy. There's a massive dearth of imagination in the games industry, and Microsoft highlighted it.
Plus, I do wish they wouldn't bring developers onto the stage to read from autocues; it undercuts any sense of excitement. Not every nerd is a Steve Jobs, and tech companies need to wake up to this. We don't need to see some nervous developer, who's only really comfortable when staring at a computer screen, get up in front of thousands of people and expect them to be engaging; it's horrible for them, and awkward for the rest of us.
And if you are going to get a bona-fide movie star on stage, give them something more interesting to do than reel off the same old corporate autocue bollocks.
Maybe I'm just old and jaded, but I watched IGN's pre-show, and felt completely detached from their attempts at excited speculation. I couldn't relate to a hall full of Xbox fans whooping excitedly at every announcement, at the way the would applaud every trailer. That slavish devotion to a corporate brand is just alien to me.
RSS Feed
