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e3 2017: THE BEST OF THE REST - by Mr Biffo

14/6/2017

39 Comments

 
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Hello, father. It has been a weird old E3, hasn't it?

Father's answer: "I don't know anything about that. When you get a chance, can you come over and fix my Kindle? All my books have gone and I can't connect it to the wifi."

Everyone keeps debating about who "won" E3, and nobody can seem to agree on anything, other than the fact that Ubisoft done a really good presentation.

Some felt that Microsoft - baring to the world both its legs and its new ultra-powerful Xbox One Eggs - were the winners... while others felt that the Xbox One Eggs is missing the point of gaming entirely.

Some fans claimed that Sony blew away the competition like a dirty Henry... while other commentators decried their showing as limp and complacent (not to be confused with Limp & Complacent - The Netherlands' premiere cabaret duo). 

Nintendo, as is now traditional, chose to save its announcements for an online presentation - which finally gave us a proper sense of what else is on the way for Switch. There weren't many surprises... beyond, perhaps, how utterly mental Super Mario Odyssey appears to be.

Click the links at the bottom for my take on the Sony and Microsoft's showings. On your way down there, why not pause to read a round-up of everything else that has earned my needlessly intense scrutiny over the past few days? You might actually learn something for once.
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WOLFENSTEIN 2: THE NEW COLOSSUS
I sort of loved Wolfenstein: The New Order - far more than I'd expected to. I suspect many others also believed it was going to be a rather rote FPS with uber-Nazis. Appearances can be deceiving, however - just ask The Hermit Crab Society - and The New Order turned out to be a lot smarter and funnier and more affecting and original than anybody predicted.

The hope is that the sequel will follow in a similar vein - even if it is trotting out the old Nazis-Rule-America trope. 

The trailer looked great; full of character and wit. The only bit about it which bothered me was a sort of montage of gore towards the end. I've not got a problem with violence in games, but this felt gratuitous, and - for my money - sent the wrong sort of message. I dunno. In the current world climate, I'm just somewhat uncomfortable with the amount of blood and axe-swinging. 

Obviously, Wolfenstein 2's setting could be viewed as a thinly-veiled commentary on the state of America right now. This has some liberals shouting "We've never needed a game more!", and those on the right responding with this noise: "So much for the tolerant left..."

Attention: all of you bloody people are awful.
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MIDDLE EARTH: SHADOW OF WAR
Another sequel to a game I'm very fond of, Shadow of War is going to expand on Shadow of Mordor's rather clever Nemesis system.

You might recall that this allowed you to follow a unique story of your own, with enemies harbouring grudges, and... well, it wasn't quite as revolutionary as they led us to believe, but it was still pretty neat.

The expanded version of Nemesis was demonstrated with some actual gameplay - unlike many other games at E3 - showing your Ranger character dominating a hulking Australian orc called Bruz (pronounced "Bruce"). Some absolutely sublime characterisation was on display, and - if we're to assume that this passive display of xenophobia will be on display across the entire game - all the American-voiced orcs are going to be called things like "Hank" or "Cletus". 

My main hope is that it finds new things to do with the gameplay, and that they've upped the difficulty a little. Far too early on in Modor I became virtually invincible, and any sort of challenge flew right up my chutney Chunnel (another name for "anus").
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STAR WARS BATTLEFRONT 2
Yes. This is coming. As well as battles and characters from all eras of Star Wars, we're also getting the single player campaign that we all complained was lacking in the previous Battlefrontbottom.

Oddly, EA has mostly been pushing the multiplayer, and I'm still not really getting a sense of the campaign. You know: because everything shown so far has been from cinematic sequences. Not helpful, EA. You should learn to "EA've" yourselves. Ha ha. Too funny.
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BEYOND GOOD & EVIL 2
This took everyone by surprise at the Ubisoft presentation for two reasons: 1) Nobody saw it coming, and 2) The levels of swearing.

Again - as with violence - I've no problem with the dirty words, providing its justified. In fact, many of my favourite words are rude ones. In the South Park games, which Ubisoft was also showing off, it was entirely within context. Here though, it just felt like a hamfisted attempt to be edgy, rather than rooted in character or setting.

As a dad, I feel uncomfortable playing any overtly sweary game with the family around. Plus, it feels like it just shuts out younger players - who could otherwise enjoy what's on offer, but might never get the chance. 

Still... the cinematic they showed looked gorgeous (even if some people complained that it looked nothing like the 15 year-old original). What a shame it didn't really reveal anything about the game other than the fact it exists. Yes: this was a bit of an issue when it came to a lot of E3 unfortunately. 
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A WAY OUT
Now... I have a bit of a resistance to co-op games, but EA's prison breakout 'em up has my interest. In part, that's because it's designed to play in split-screen - either online or locally - so that each player can see what the other is up to (including points where one player being in a cut-scene while the other is moping around doing stuff).

​Also: at least it's not another bloody post-apocalyptic zombie game.

Also: we've all wanted to go to prison, right? I already spend my life sitting on my arse not doing much. How's prison a punishment? It'd just be like being at home without the guilt of not having fixed the kitchen cupboard doors.

"Sorry, love. Can't fix them now. I'm in prison."

"That's your excuse for everything."

"Got to go. Apparently, it's my turn to pick up the soap."

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SKULL & BONES
The second pirate game of E3. With it coming from Ubisoft, when the presentation for this began I started gasping and found it difficult to stop: they'd only gone ahead and done a standalone Black Flag game! Well... the parts of Black Flag set on boats anyway.

Except: they hadn't done that.

It's hard to tell, but as gorgeous as this seems to be, it's Black Flag without all the Assassin's Creed stuff, and one or more sea monsters. I'm less interested in that, unfortunately. It was the variety in AC: Black flag which made it such a joy. Still... we'll see.

Pirate games do of course have an advantage over pirate movies. At least during the production of a pirate game, your main star isn't going to be revealed as an abusive and aggressive drunk whose behaviour threatens the entire project not that I'm referring to any one actor... 
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STARLINK: BATTLE FOR ATLAS
So... basically, Skylanders with spaceships, and a visual style that looks as if it borrows heavily from No Man's Sky (No Man's Skylanders? Do you see?).

​Seemingly, you build little plastic space ships which sit on your controller, and then customise them mid-game to add new weapons that are grated onto your ship on-screen.

What a great idea! I'd have loved this when I was 12. Do you know what else I liked when I was 12? Getting presents.
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FAR CRY 5
I've enjoyed all the Far Cry games without exception, but the series is beginning to feel a little predictable. This one is particularly timely, given its real-world US setting - a big slice of Montana, that has been taken over by an extremist religious cult. Like Wolfenstein 2, this has caused something of a stinkuss about it how it's potentially satirising the current political and social climate in America. 

Well, if you don't want people to make fun of you - try not being a gun-toting racist who thinks dinosaurs and climate change are a hoax.

I'm not convinced that, beyond the setting, Far Cry 5 is going to do much to reinvigorate the formula, but I'm still enough of a fanboy to be there the day it's released.
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SUPER MARIO ODYSSEY
Well now... this looks insane.

The first bona-fide Super Mario game for some years, Odyssey's two main conceits are as follows: 1) Mario in the real world (or at least a rough approximation of it), and 2) Mario's hat is now magic, and can be used as a weapon, a platform, or thrown onto the heads of objects and enemies, which Mario can then possess. When Mario possesses a thing, that thing sports Mario's moustache.

Which is a nice little touch. I think most of us have at some time or another wished we had Mario's moustache on our upper lip.

The mix of new ideas with old-school Mario platforming - 2D sections within 3D levels - shows that the series hasn't forgotten its roots entirely, while the photorealistic T-rexes and yellow taxi cabs and the like are certainly intriguing.

​It might turn out to be a jarring shift, but there's no question that the trailer - complete with very literal theme song - was a bonkers joy to behold.
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MARIO + RABBIDS
It's a new Ubisoft Rabbids game - featuring a gun-wielding Mario and Peach - in what appears to be a light-hearted take on XCOM. It's a weird proposition, but it's looking as if more third-party Switch games are going to have this sort of exclusive Nintendo-themed content (Skyrim, for example, will feature Zelda's Master Sword and Link's iconic pyjamas).
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YOSHI + KIRBY
I love Yoshi games, and I love Kirby games, but both of these left me underwhelmed. Neither seemed to be doing anything particularly new - and the new Kirby especially looked like every other Kirby game. Yoshi at least had a sort of nice DIY craft aesthetic, but I was left un-wowed.
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XENOBLADE CHRONICLES 2
I never played Xenoblade Chronicles. Fact is, it's time for me to accept that I find the traditional JRPG aesthetic off-putting. That's my problem. Still, the original's mix of fantasy and sci-fi appears to be back in this massive open world, and plenty of you are already doing this: an excited big honk.
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TWO METROIDS!
As hoped, Nintendo announced a new Metroid for Switch: Metroid Prime 4. And then it announced another Metroid: Samus Returns for the 3DS! Nothing was shown of the former beyond a logo, while the latter is a side-scrolling classic-style Metroid. Let us hope that Metroid Prime 4 isn't the only surprise Nintendo has left lingering up its cleft.

And that's it, guy. That's all the E3!
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
SONY UNDERWHELMS? MY TAKE ON THE E3 2017 PLAYSTATION PRESENTATION - BY MR BIFFO
WHOOP-WHOOP! MICROSOFT AT E3 - BY MR BIFFO
CAN I STILL PLAY THE LAST NIGHT, EVEN IF ITS DEVELOPER IS A GAMERGATER? - BY MR BIFFO
39 Comments
Spiney O'Sullivan
14/6/2017 10:33:50 am

The real winners of E3 were Devolver Digital, who took up time on the official E3 Twitch stream with this thing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKgEsuEBhqI&app=desktop

As for the rest, watching the BG&E2 trailer was utterly horrible. I love the original, with its stylised visuals and strange City of Lost Children atmosphere. The world felt mellow but worn-in and with a dark understone, and the story and tone didn't suffer for being very much an all-ages thing. I also think Jade is one of the best female characters in games, and I would really have liked to know where her story goes after the original. After 15 years, two minutes of CG from a prequel featuring a desperately edgy sweary monkey felt like a kick in the teeth. It's like if the next Zelda was announced with a video of Tingle doing a rap called "shit shit farts" while frantically thrusting his groin at the camera. Occasionally some genuinely interesting background scenery is shown, but then Tingle's crotch is right back in the camera, gyrating wildly at you. After two minutes of this, Zelda appears and says something cryptic for 10 seconds, then the Zelda logo appears on screen and you're expected to be happy about it.

Mario Odyssey looks good, but I don't know why they insist on showing off New Donk City so much. I watched a video of someone playing it, and it just makes me think of the 3D Sonic games. The sand level looks good, though.

Also the T-Rex and the city made me think of Mario Bros The Movie.

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Nick
14/6/2017 10:50:51 am

The level of swearing was a bit odd. I remember the first game being quite pure in it's outlook. I guess times change and it didn't sell very well after all.

I'm hoping that Ancel knows what he's doing and the pre-rendered trailer as been "edged up" a bit for the whooping idiots of E3. I'm not sure what Carlson & Peeters would make of that sort carry on.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
14/6/2017 11:37:07 am

I'm really not inherently anti-swearing (I do it plenty), but it's really about context. That old South Park episode about it pretty much aligns with my feelings. There's a time and a place. This just feels like Shadow the Hedgehog and his "where's that DAMN Chaos Emerald?" taken to the extreme.

Harry Steele
14/6/2017 12:21:39 pm

Good Zelda analogy. I felt it was a bit like waiting 15 years for Doctor Who but instead of getting Christopher Eccleston we got Torchwood.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
14/6/2017 01:24:36 pm

That is a completely perfect analogy.

As I liked watching Doctor Who before I got bored in recent years (bring back the confusing long-form story arcs that nobody but me apparently likes!), I seem to keep getting into conversations with people who think Saint Rusty could do no wrong and that Moffat is the devil. Moffat does write all his characters like they're either Sherlock or right out of that sitcom he wrote, but I just keep going back to Rusty introducing us to a new Doctor Who show by having one of the main characters trying to be a date-rapist within the first minute, seemingly played for laughs. I wonder if they all just blocked that out of their minds.

John Veness
14/6/2017 02:34:58 pm

Trying to work out what Spiney O'Sullivan meant about a Doctor Who date rapist...?

Mr Biffo
14/6/2017 02:37:50 pm

The character of Owen in Torchwood...

John Veness
14/6/2017 02:58:07 pm

Ah right... I thought he meant the 2005 DW series.

Spiney O'Sullivan
14/6/2017 11:37:20 pm

I am probably disproportionately annoyed about Torchwood, but it was hyped as "the British X-Files", so expectations were high. It was that kind of "adult" that just felt more juvenile than the children's franchise it spun off from.

That said, there was one very good episode. Countrycide was a cracking hour of horror.

RichardM
14/6/2017 12:59:04 pm

Was there swearing in the original? I can't remember. All I recall about the game is a vague sense of foreboding throughout the early parts - which was good - and the cliffhanger ending - also good.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
14/6/2017 01:16:21 pm

There was maybe a "damn" or "hell" at most. I feel like I'd have remembered if Jade spent the whole game yelling "fuck you, shitty motherfuckers!" at the Domz.

Kelvin Green link
14/6/2017 06:50:09 pm

That Devolver Digital video is great; alas I fear the joke will be lost on most of the E3 crowd.

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DEAN
14/6/2017 11:23:52 am

Odyssey looked like a lot of fun but New Donk City looked a bit drab for my tastes. Pretty hateful palette. But other than that it looked like a winner and I particularly enjoyed the transitioning between dimensions - like that incredibly awesome Zelda game, Link Between Worlds, but more sophisticated.

Kirby and Yoshi looked decent enough but yeah....

I was hoping for a new Ridge Racer game for the PS4. Sony seem bent on looking to its past right now and resurrecting many of the big PS brands and I'd have thought a new Ridge would have made perfect sense. Bit gutted.

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Biscuits
14/6/2017 11:41:52 am

AC:Black Flag without the tedious 'hold one button for 30 seconds and look at a screen' gameplay, forced ,shitty, meandering lore, and arbitrary, woefully misjudged world-and-game-breaking 'modern' sections? That sounds like exactly what I want from that pirate game. Get all the terrible Assassin's Creed detritus out of there and make an actual great pirate game. And sea monsters?? I'm on board!

The prison one looks good too, and I'll keep an eye on BG&E2. Other than that a highly unremarkable E3

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John Veness
14/6/2017 11:45:13 am

What no dedicated Nintendo E3 article? Biffo is teh bias!

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Bruce Flagpole
14/6/2017 02:46:49 pm

Yep...and all it took was an old cassette tape and biro from Sega....

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Biscots
14/6/2017 12:16:57 pm

It's like the designers behind the Yoshi game saw Little Big Planet and put it right up on screen

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RichardM
14/6/2017 12:46:31 pm

Really hope Nintendo haven't jumped the shark with Mario. Remember the last time he ended up in the real world, in that live-action film? Even Dennis Hopper didn't like that.

T-Rex Mario looks fun, though.

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Jareth Smith
14/6/2017 01:49:47 pm

Yeah, because Nintendo has a history of messing up Mario platformers! Every single one I can remember can be considered a masterpiece. Super Mario 3D World was the last one, in 2013, and it was borderline perfect. Odyssey looks incredible.

It's more disappointing the brilliant Retro Studios won't be handling Metroid Prime 4. Hopefully Nintendo will be overseeing it, then.

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RichardM
14/6/2017 03:54:28 pm

Mario Sunshine wasn't totally ace.

James Pond
16/6/2017 12:20:07 am

Yeah I wasn't exactly over the moon with Sunshine.

I loved 3D Land on 3DS but when I got 3D World it felt too familiar and so I called it "3D Land HD" and considered it a home console conversion of 3D Land rather than a new game.

I put a few hours in and quit.

Compared to the previous home console Mario game I'd played (Galaxy), I thought it was just a competent workman like affair as opposed to a work of creative genius.

lilock3
14/6/2017 01:51:49 pm

Happy beyond words that a new Metroid is in the works for Switch, but does it have to be Prime 4? The Prime story arc was finished, can't this be the start of a new Metroid sub-series?

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Steve
14/6/2017 03:41:17 pm

Hey, just be glad it's not Metroid: Another M

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lilock3
14/6/2017 06:15:33 pm

I didn't have a problem with Other M. Gameplaywise it was basically just a carbon copy of Fusion and people seem to have come around to that in recent years - despite the backlash when it was first released.

Storywise, it may not have been handled brilliantly, but I'd rather think of a hero/heroine as someone who battles with and overcomes their fears, than an emotionless killing machine...

James Pond
14/6/2017 04:38:41 pm

I'm totally underwhelmed by all the software I've seen.

Sure I'm interested in a new Metro but it looks like a DLC addon and nothing new. A new LiS will be good but we have no details. In terms of what I can buy this year it's all a bit meh. Sure I will buy a lot of it but I'm not remotely hyped.

I don't think Microsoft are missing the point. Come round and play Prey on my PC and then again on my PS4 and you will see that dated hardware is having a significant impact on game play and immersion. Of course I can't show you the wider impact it is having on game design but believe me we could be seeing so much more.

Don't get me started on Ninturdo. I sold my switch in disgust after their blurry stuttery Assassins Creed Hyrule with all the identical looking shrines (presumably due to the limited storage medium) left me with many disappoint. I'm sure when their new Mario game actually releases in a couple of years time as a launch title on the NEW Switch XL it will be equally as disappointing. They no longer have the magical touch.

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John Veness
14/6/2017 05:47:22 pm

Not sure if serious...

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bobutterance
14/6/2017 06:23:37 pm

You didn't sell your Switch, you just hated that Breath of the Wild was universally loved. Better luck lying next time.

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James Pond
15/6/2017 08:09:59 pm

I had a Switch on launch day. Owned Breath and Fast RMX.

The latter was pretty decent for a handheld title and looked respectable on the large screen.

Zelda wasn't so bad as a handheld title although I found the controls too cramped to enjoy it with those + and - buttons being tiny and it being awkward having to stretch your thumb up to hit the buttons rather than move it across in an arc. I don't like hand held controls where the right stick isn't offset from the buttons. At least it looked half decent and ran smoothly on the smaller screen.

On the large TV it really did look awful and exhibited quite a lot of stutter. Using the pro pad was a lot better than using it hand held though.

There were many elements of game design that were truly awful. I had no issue with weapon degradation but the UI and inventory management was absolutely horrendous. That for me was what made weapon degradation annoying.

I also wasn't keen on being expected to invest a lot of time in a game but have no means by which to back up my save. From PS1 onwards we have been able to do that albeit with add-on cards or things you plug into controllers.

There are loads of other flaws with the hardware that I assume will be fixed in a future revision. So I sold it whilst they were going for more second hand than they were new! There were no other games that interested me until the end of the year as I'd already done MK to death on Wii U.

Not saying I won't buy another in the future but if I do, it won't be to play Zelda again and it would have to be the rumoured upgraded version using NVIDIA's new processor that didn't quite make it into the Switch. But even then only if it offers some higher resolution support as the current console can't push 1080p in a lot of games and 720 or 900p is just too low to cut it on a large 4K panel.

Spiney O'Sullivan
16/6/2017 01:53:04 am

I'm not saying it's a bad game, but I do wonder how people would respond to BotW if it hadn't been a Zelda game. If Ubisoft had put it out as a new Assassin's Creed or something, would people have been more critical of the tedious mid-battle inventory management, frustrating weapon durability, lack of meaningful items after the opening hours of the game, focus on climbing towers to unlock parts of the probably-too-vast map, trillion widgets to collect, and lack of distinct dungeon styles? (even just reskinning althe visual identities of the shrines by region would have been something)

There's some great stuff in there (I LOVED the Lost Woods puzzle, which is probably one of the best puzzles in the series), but it's not my favourite Zelda game, let alone my favourite game of all time.

Jol
14/6/2017 04:58:40 pm

A new Wolfenstein game is always welcome. The New Order was great, although part of the appeal for me was that it was one of the first big 'proper' games on the PS4, so hopefully it's evolved a bit. I agree about the bloody chunks being spunked all over the place in the trailer; I'm not sure if it's age / current events or what but it feels like such an outdated and juvenile way to sell a game. It'd be like the GTA trailer showing the main character just mowing down pedestrians and shooting the police.
(all that said I did laugh like an idiot when I first started doing violence in Doom 2016, so maybe I'm just a massive hypocrite)

As for Ubisoft... that template is so well worn it's hard to get too excited when they announce that they're churning out another franchise update like Far Cry 5. It feels like we've been getting one of them every other year since FC3 was released. Would it be too much trouble to revisit the original's more linear structure? It seems they need to do something, anything, to break out of their current habit of just reskinning the last game and giving the bad guy a different accent. Also that screenshot looks like a Texas Chainsaw mod for one of those Farm Simulator games.

But pirates though! Taking all the Ass Creed guff out and creating what kind of sounds like Elite: Pirates could be fun. A lot better than Raven's Cry appeared turn out anyway (if it was actually released).

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Kelvin Green link
14/6/2017 06:17:25 pm

I know I'm a bit of a Billy No Mates for saying it but I thought the original Xenoblade was great.

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Nick
14/6/2017 06:35:17 pm

You've got one mate Billy (Kelvin) because you are right, it was brilliant.

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AcidBeard
14/6/2017 07:37:17 pm

Billyant and Nickceptional I heard. I've not played it but pretty sure there's lots more folk out there that share your thoughts.

I'll probably give this one a shot if it gets reasonable reviews but that trailer didn't leave a good first impression.

Biscuits
14/6/2017 11:18:27 pm

Me too, and I, like Biffo, found the aesthetic off-putting. Fantastic sense of exploration though

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Ganapan
15/6/2017 05:45:59 pm

Yeah, I didn't like the aesthetic either but looking back I think it was limited to character designs (though they are pretty "clean" compared to most jrpg). What kept me playing was the world. It's a beautiful place (even on 3ds) and the sense of scale and exploration brought up memories of Dark Souls' Lordran.

DD
17/6/2017 02:34:08 pm

Not at all, Xenoblade Chronicles is one of my all time favourites!
I found XBX hard to get into thoighbto be honest, I think they tried to be to clever and ruined it,

I'm really looking forward to XB2, they seem to have listened to the negatives of XBX corrected (the music for a start!)

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Treacle
14/6/2017 10:19:41 pm

As an old lag who spent a not inconsiderable amount of time behind bars at the pleasure of her majesty, I have to inform you that sitting about all day isn't as much fun as you'd think, mainly because in cell furnishings consist of a hard plastic chair and a foam mattress with the thickness of a proprietary brand potato waffle. Oh, and I think that's my soap you've picked up.

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Leigh
15/6/2017 09:39:05 pm

FFS Biffs. I told you to fix those kitchen cupboard doors MONTHS ago.

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Applelemon
17/6/2017 02:17:09 pm

No mention of Dragon Ball Fighterz? That was one of the most popular games of the show.

Mario Odyssey looks scary, Mario should not turn into a dinosaur, I can cope with the raccoon but this is too much

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