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DON'T PANIC: THIS ARTICLE IS NOT ABOUT MIRROR'S EDGE CATALYST - by Mr Biffo

14/6/2016

37 Comments

 
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Contrary to popular rumour, I'm not Nostradamus. I can never exactly predict what will be popular on this site, and what won't be. However, thanks to Google Analytics, I get a fairly accurate breakdown of the articles that have and haven't been popular.

​Some pieces - say, Let's Go To Sir Cliff's House, 10 Things Every 80s Gamer Remembers, If Video Game Characters Were Spoons, Pingu, and literally anything about Gamerergate - have proved to be pure clickbait. 

Conversely, some articles that I've loved writing - such as Which of These 19 Dunces Does Nicolas Cage Like Best?, The Ghost Train of Death, or Asking Game Designers If They'd Ever Given Birth To Themselves - get barely any interest whatsoever, and even repeating previously successful formats is no guarantee of anything.

Heck, three of my favourite ever "proper" articles - on the history of Sega, Nintendo and The Pre-History of Games - could be considered an utter waste of my time, and slightly put me off writing more of the same. Likewise, pretty much anything featuring an old Digitiser character... no interest. So much for nostalgia.

​But wait! This isn't a whinge.
I'm just saying that there is no guaranteed formula for success. Well, almost no formula. Some arbitrary list of funny old stuff will be almost always get hits, but I've more or less stopped doing those (or doing them straight, as it were), as putting them together made me feel dirty. And not in a good way.

Plus, the things I find funniest - because I know people will just be baffled by them - are generally less popular. Opinion pieces usually find an audience, as do reviews, in an almost universal sense.

Well, unless the game in question is Mirror's Edge Catalyst. Going from our stats, nobody cares about Mirror's Edge Catalyst. Except for me. But I can't be trusted. 
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CATALYSTEN TO ME
I had a feeling that Catalyst was in for a rough ride when I wrote my review-in-progress last week.

​Despite incorporating a wonderful gallery of gifs showing cats being startled by cucumbers, hardly anybody even bothered reading it.

Similarly, yesterday's full review - though I concede it might've been overshadowed by the mighty presence of Noel Edmonds, and a pretty heartfelt piece inspired by the horrible shooting in Orlando - got barely any interest.

Indeed, despite being a mutliformat title, Catalyst failed to debut at number one in this week's games charts - being held off the top spot by Overwatch, which was released some weeks back.

It's too early to call Catalyst a flop, but if I close my eyes and feel the winds against my skin... I can call it now: it's going to be a flop. Mediocre review score don't help, of course. But also pulling against it are the game's idiosyncrasies. It's not some paramilitary shooter or fantasy hack-and-slash. It looks unique, and it is unique.

It doesn't fit easily into a box, so there's no shorthand for any potential audience to tap into. And that's a worry for all of us. Not least me, whose tastes seem to drip in from left-field.

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WHAT ARE YOU WEARY ABOUT?
Looking at the games coming out of E3 is wearying.

They all seemed to be pressed out of a mould, made from the same ingredients.

Watch Dogs 2 is coming because Watch Dogs was the biggest launch ever for an original IP.

But when you peer at Watch Dogs, it's not hard to speculate that its success was largely down to it looking like a fairly respectable Grand Theft Auto game, albeit without any engaging characters.

In terms of E3, only Rare's Sea of Thieves, Sony's The Last Guardian, Grow Up, and Kojima's bizarre-looking, Darryl-From-The-Walking-Dead-starring, Deadly Stranding, appear to be doing anything remotely original. And for all its flaws, Mirror's Edge Catalyst is original. 

Please. This is not necessarily a grumble. Please, sir.

In all the more predictable games gushing from the E3 geyser, there's plenty I'm looking forward to - Insomniac's Spider-Man (don't like his patriotic costume, mind), Days Gone, Infinite Warfare, Ubisoft's open world winter sports game Steep - but there's also a lot there that is playing it achingly safe.

​So much of what's coming out of E3 feels homogenised, be it Watch Dogs 2, or God of War 4, or Detroit: Become Human... I'm growing tired of all these photorealistic attempts to bridge the Uncanny Valley, with their milky, golden lighting effects, and realtime shadows.

​Somehow, everything looks the same - whether it's set in a fantasy kingdom, or the far future.

WHAT DON'T YOU WANT?
But wait: I actually think 2016 has been the best year for games in a while. I've felt spoilt for choice.

But... there is part of me that's worried that the potential failure of big budget experiments like Mirror's Edge Catalyst will send the publishers running scared again. 

Here's an example: I loved Captain America Civil War... but loved it slightly less than I would've done, had I not been to see the godawful Batman Vs Superman the week before. By the time X-Men: Age of Apocalypse came out, I didn't even bother going.

​A few years back, that would've been unthinkable. There's no way I wouldn't have gone to see a major super-hero movie in the cinema. But it's all just noise and CGI, and I've had enough. For the same reason, I didn't go and see Warcraft: The Beginning. I saw that trailer months back, and knew I had no reason to invest in a bunch of CGI characters. 

And maybe that's the problem with the games I'm seeing coming from E3. It's not just that they seem to be playing it safe... there are no characters. More than that, they seem to lack character. There's nothing for me to hang onto. It's like trying to climb a mountain that has been polished smooth of handholds and crannies.

Captain America: Civil War was dripping with character. And we need more of that as far as games go.
THAT'S HISTORY!
But that's just me putting my oar in, and if history tells me anything it's that I don't always have the most mainstream tastes. Clearly, from the reaction to the E3 reveals, everyone seems very happy. Lots of big games, which will sell in big numbers. There's nothing there that's going to scare the horses - just a lot of comfortable slipper-type franchise.

When Digitiser2000 launched, I had this vague idea to build on the brand awareness it had, and turn it into some sort of mainstream site. That, however, would've pulled against my natural inclinations.

Now my focus has changed. I want to do things on here that I like, and just hope that Digi's audience like them too. Often those things don't appeal to anyone. Sometimes I get lucky. 

I know that I'm capable of contorting myself into shapes that are more in line with the majority, but - really - who needs another website like that? The freedom that this site gives me - thanks to all those who contribute to our donor fund - is a far more appealing than popularity. 

I fully understand that, unfortunately, games publishers don't have that luxury. Spending hundreds of millions on a triple-A game isn't the time to be taking risks. People have a natural inclination to avoid risks, whether they're spending $200 million on development, or £50 as a punter. 

The failure of Mirror's Edge Catalyst - I'm calling it now - is going to result in more sequels for established brands, more identikit games, more remasters, and more franchises like Watch Dogs. Oh well.

Coming up: 10 Things That Look Like Nolan Bushnell's Pancreas.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
GAMES OF MY YEARS: FOOTBALL - BY MR BIFFO
​
HOW TO BE A FREELANCER (IF YOU'RE ME) - BY MR BIFFO
WHY TV WON'T DO VIDEO GAMES - BY MR BIFFO

37 Comments
RichardM
14/6/2016 10:38:37 am

More children's TV stuff! Stuff about writing for children's TV, assuming it won't end your career?

Having recently acquired a small child I'm spending more and more time watching CBeebies, and the quantity of guff on there is startling: yet counterbalanced by some really excellent stuff. Happy to let the child watch Octonauts and the Furchester Hotel. Loathe Charlie & Lola, Topsy & Tim, Mike the Knight, etc. Loads of lazy CGI crap on there as well as in Hollywood.

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Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 10:44:19 am

I shall see what I can do... Though I've never written for CBeebies, so can't talk about pre-school really...

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Michael E
14/6/2016 10:20:14 pm

Please write about Sooty.

David W
14/6/2016 10:39:49 am

Does the popularity of articles affect income much? The Patreon figure barely seems to move, even when the comment numbers spike.

Also, much love for The Ghost Train. I lost it at miniature Tony Blair.

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Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 10:47:08 am

Noooo... the popularity of stuff doesn't really affect the Patreon numbers at all. And you're right: it has stayed pretty consistent. Sometimes it goes up a bit, sometimes down a bit, but always hovering around the same number. Apparently, people like me what do crowd-funding can usually rely on 10% of their audience helping out, and that seems about right. I'm still a lucky man.

That said, as much as donating, it's always good when people share stuff they like on here. I'm never expecting Digi to be massive these days, but growing the audience steadily and organically would be nice. If I could bring in a little more crowd-funding it would mean I could focus on it a bit more fully: there is other stuff I'd like to do on here that's a bit more time-consuming than just words.

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RichardM
14/6/2016 11:00:56 am

More videos would be excellent: Let's Play Knight Lore (while drunk on gin). But yes, dreadfully time consuming. And the hangovers!

Barbican Keats
14/6/2016 11:13:11 am

Yes! More Nolan Bushnell's Bushnell please!

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Seam
14/6/2016 11:31:22 am

I have a technicalish question with regards to site hits - I access your site via an RSS reader so I can always see when you post new stuff (in this instance Newsblur on iOS/OS X). Does this still register as a regular site hit? It should do because it still uses Safari as its browsing back end I think.
If it doesn't, I will happily change my browsing habits to access your site direct from Safari if it means you get more hit-me-dos. I always read all of your articles anyway and I do enjoy your surreal nonsense.

Keep up the excellent work.

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Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 12:42:37 pm

Well... I'm not sure is the short answer. But really, being able to demonstrate the hits don't make an impact in terms of income, or anything, as we don't have ads. It's only useful for me, because I can see what's the most popular sort of stuff... and what isn't. And it's good to know that people are still reading, in terms of motivating me. But thank you!

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RG
14/6/2016 11:55:04 am

I never discovered Digi back in the teletext days, but stumbled across this site a few months ago looking for a review. It was about the time you started the Games of my years pieces and I was engrossed. I've had a good root around you're articles (matron!) and come back everyday. I enjoy all of your pieces whether about games, whimsy, think pieces or the machinations and workings of a writer.

In short - keep up the good work.

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Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 12:40:51 pm

Well, that's lovely. Cheers, chaps.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
14/6/2016 11:55:12 am

I think I did read your article, but in all honesty, I knew I wasn't going to be interested in Mirror's Edge Catalyst from the start because I had almost no fun with the original and never finished it. Now, to be fair, I think it's a great concept and the style of the world was cool, but the experience was just too stressful to be fun for me. I love Prince of Persia-esque complex platforming (Sands of Time is one of my all-time favourite games), but having to do it while running desperately away from attack helicopters and gun-wielding guards wasn't so much fun as it was a drawn-out panic attack simulator.

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Superbeast 38
14/6/2016 12:27:18 pm

Mirrors Edge......

A game I hear a lot about if I head onto gaming sites but I will be buggered if I can find anyone in my real world circles who played it let alone liked it.

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Paul Jon Thrillions
14/6/2016 12:37:45 pm

The absurdo-fun articles such as Cage/Dunces etc are the ones that tend to be most popular when I share them on the facebook, if that's any help (which it probs isn't, sorry)

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Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 12:40:21 pm

Your friends have excellent taste.

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Spiney O'Sullivan
14/6/2016 12:56:34 pm

People I spread the Cliff one to loved it. Or at least, didn't block all contact from me.

Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 07:45:43 pm

Oddly, the Cliff story gets hits every time he's in the news...

Chris
14/6/2016 12:48:31 pm

I watched Ubisoft's press conference last night, and it started with utter misery. A fratboy's American exceptionalism interventionist fantasy identkit shooter (or FAEIFIS). It went on and on, utterly dull. But then some highlights came out of nowhere - that stupid 80s neon Trials game, I'm glad someone made that. Grow Up also looks adorable. Then they finish with something pretty damned good in my opinion - Steep. It's somewhat aimed at the Red Bull drinking Xtreme crowd, but there's also serenity, and a beautiful recreation of the alps, and for god's sake, the point of the game is exploration and trying things out, without a gun in sight. That alone gets applause from me.

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Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 12:50:43 pm

Yep. Steep looks great. I've always had a soft spot for snowboarding games, oddly.

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Dan Whitehead
14/6/2016 12:49:00 pm

Ironically, the CGI Orcs are the most interesting and engaging characters in the Warcraft movie. It's the flesh and blood humans who feel tissue thin.

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Harry Steele
14/6/2016 01:18:57 pm

Aww, I LOVED the cat-o-list! I was chuckling about it hours later. So had to explain my chuckles to my wife.

It turns our explaining that there's a game called Mirror's Edge: Catalyst which got a 'review-in-progress' in the form of a list of cats is not an effective means of conveying humour.

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Euphemia
14/6/2016 01:27:54 pm

Follow your muse, sir. It's the idiosyncrasies that work in your favour. If I wanted uncritical fan boy marketing wank, I'm spoiled for choice with any other site.

I'd rather have something with, as you rightly say, character.

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Gaijintendo
14/6/2016 01:53:58 pm

This has made it abundantly clear that I am a unique and special flower. Ghost Trains and Next Bonds make my day.

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TekMerc
14/6/2016 03:56:45 pm

I feel like Catalyst is another game that thinks it needs a story when it doesn't.

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Damon link
14/6/2016 04:16:37 pm

Well, I've said this all before.

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Chomboss Wankuss
14/6/2016 06:17:43 pm

I liked the videos with your "special" neighbour.

Can we have them back?

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Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 07:47:02 pm

Yes. Hopefully over the summer, dear.

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Seano link
14/6/2016 08:37:31 pm

Kelvin Green link
14/6/2016 07:27:45 pm

1) I read it all, Biffo. ALL OF IT.

2) You didn't miss much; X-Men Apocalypse was rubbish.

3) I am very much looking forward to The Last Guardian but I will believe its existence when I see it in my own hands.

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Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 07:47:20 pm

1) Woot!

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Zombelina link
14/6/2016 08:52:55 pm

I love everything that you write, even when I don't. Please don't stop writing *any* of it. There's not many sites which sate my weird sense of humour, but this one counts for a lot. Also, so many of the comments to your articles are really interesting or wonderfully daft (sometimes both) and that just adds extra flavour to all that you write. You've allowed for a fantastic community to develop here. If I were more amusing I would add to them, but I'm old and grumpy now. Saving so's I can become a patron tho.

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Mr Biffo
14/6/2016 09:27:21 pm

Yeah, I love the comments on here too, Zombo. And thank you for this particularly lovely comment. Really all helps to keep me motivated. I'm a lucky boy.

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Zombelina link
14/6/2016 10:34:25 pm

You are very welcome indeed :)

Timmypoos
14/6/2016 09:23:50 pm

I think you and the things you write are both very lovely.

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neil
14/6/2016 09:39:18 pm

Well reading this did persuade me to go and have a look at some cats doing some wall running at the sight of some tasteless green vegetables. Well worth it.

I think my reading habits follow your fancy Google Anal ytics very closely with the big exception being the gamergate stuff, I've managed to completely avoid that

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lilock3
14/6/2016 10:02:18 pm

There are plenty of sites covering the big, mainstream stuff. The weird niche stuff might appeal to a narrower audience, but they'll be a more dedicated audience.

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Penyrolewen
15/6/2016 10:29:42 pm

I second many of the comments on here already;
Don't change a thing. I, too, read every article despite never having used teletext. This is the only site I ever comment on (or ever have actually) and I love the (mainly) non-internetty sensibleness that prevails in the comments.
For me, the listicles are usually my least fave bits but I read them all anyway - although I LOVED cat o list. This despite having no interest in mirrors edge (no xbone or ps4) or cats. Are they really scared of cucumbers?
So, in summary, keep doing your 'thang', we love it.

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