DIGITISER'S COMMERCIAL BREAK

19/6/2017

32 Comments

In a change to the regular Digitiser2000 programming... today we've a series of messages from our sponsors...

32 Comments

Friendo the great pal

19/6/2017 11:40:57 am

That was great. A cavalcade of my favourite Digi bits: the pure, unfettered, Biffo-brand nonsense. It truly does stand apart from other nonsense. I sincerely loved every second. And how pertinent is the excellent 'chilling' advice dispensed by Uncle Cool?

John Veness

19/6/2017 11:49:42 am

Loving these.

Also: I obey.

Biscuits

19/6/2017 11:54:02 am

Sod #hashtags, this summer is all about £BUNGOTIME!!

Bruce Flagpole

19/6/2017 11:55:41 am

Number 6 in Top of the Pranks caused an outburst of giggling, cue funny looks in the office.

paul

19/6/2017 11:59:39 am

Ah, yes, peas. Small, green, spherical objects that you can eat.

I went through a phase of watching the BBC’s cookery programmes. Not the Bake Off thing, but the one where real poncey chefs made food seem less palatable by skimping on portion size and making them look all arty.

One trick is to make some kind of sauce, mix with (I think) gelatine, and drop it in a cold bath. You get small spheres of flavour which burst in your mouth. They did it with all kinds of things - cola is one favourite, but if you can liquidise it, you can do this to it.

It went all meta once - the process was applied to peas. Those tasty small, green spheres were put through a number of processes to make small, green spheres which may have lost some flavour in the process. I’m not sure what was worse - the fact that putting some peas in boiling water and then serving would have been sufficient in this case, or that NO ONE else on the programme questioned this.

I took a feeing that this was the peak of idiocy in cookery programmes, and I should not watch them any more.

E.P., the alien that likes peas

19/6/2017 12:12:36 pm

Maybe they wanted to trick the eater into thinking they were going to eat a normal pea, but then they would have been stunned by the slightly different flavour and texture?

Jol

19/6/2017 01:14:27 pm

Peas (the mushy variety) in a spray can doesn't sound all that ridiculous in a world that also serves cheese in a spray can. We live in a terrible world.

Biccos

19/6/2017 03:44:31 pm

Would be good for assorted practical jokes IRL/ fake vomit effect in tv shows

King of Duckhenrys

19/6/2017 05:50:31 pm

BUT...did you pick up any good recipes for funnybiscuits?

THX 1139

19/6/2017 12:08:14 pm

Thank goodness for this.

David W

19/6/2017 01:17:33 pm

It is too hot. Boo.

Stupid adverts. Hooray!

buy your £bungotime tshirts from my etsy

19/6/2017 03:51:22 pm

"Hooray"? More like: "Stupid Adverts, £BUNGOTIME!!"

DEAN

19/6/2017 02:25:31 pm

I particularly enjoyed the fly one.

Also reminded me of this - Time flies like an arrow and fruit flies like a banana.

When a fly walks on you it feels like the sensual caress of a hirsute lover; nice and gross all at once - like a moonlit tryst in Brian Blessed's beard.

Biscuits

19/6/2017 03:30:18 pm

Hahahah, an astute observation DEANo!

Coincidentally (actually it is a bit weird), I saw this image for the first time a couple of hours ago:

http://images.comiccollectorlive.com/covers/f8e/f8ef88d4-ccab-474b-a8f9-fb96a3e90a1e_tn.jpg

DEAN, OH!

19/6/2017 05:49:02 pm

That is uncanny. Looks very cool, though - great artwork.

And I was only thinking about Heidi Fleiss (the flap that covers the zippidy doodah) yesterday!

For the record, I don't make a habit out of thinking about American madams but I saw a documentary about her some years ago and she was pretty cool.... she want a bit 'whack', however, and took on a load of tropical birds. But we all love a birdy (batty) eccentric; am I right?!

Biscuits

19/6/2017 06:39:14 pm

Strewth, that tropical bird analogy is a bit on the nose isn't it? Taking on delicate, ornate creatures, each in its own cage with its wings clipped, after being a madame for years? Is that the best real life has got? No wonder fiction continues to prosper

DEAN

20/6/2017 01:22:41 am

Oh, Biscuits, I think I have gone and done caused some confusion -

She really did end up with her house overrun with parrots and other birds (inherited them from an older madam, I think). I kind of remember her having bird shit all down one shoulder (from a pirate perched bird) but I may have only thought that.

Real life has much to offer. The next Star Trek series (set 10 years before Kirk and his crew (proper)) is coming to Netflix this Autumn and it looks pretty decent.

RichardM

19/6/2017 04:39:31 pm

Yeah, the flies one got me too. Also Uncle Cool surprising the stranger.

DEAN

20/6/2017 01:34:45 am

Woof!

Cool Uncles... well, the other feller up there is probably one of they them there.

I saw Alan Sugar very recently. His boat, Lady A, was moored at the marina in Puerto Banus and he was walking around the rear deck talking into what I can only assume was a some kind of portable telephone. He looked under significant stress but it was hot.

Jim Leighton (Future World Darts Champion) x

19/6/2017 02:32:06 pm

It's too hot for darts

paul morris

19/6/2017 03:20:02 pm

I have to ask ye Jim, are ye the former Aberdeen and Manchester United goalkeeper as well?

Paul Morris

19/6/2017 03:17:33 pm

I am displeased, surely Mr Richard's third name should be Head?

RichardM

19/6/2017 04:36:57 pm

Speaking as a Richard, I can tell you we've all had enough of that kind of thing.

Richard Splash

19/6/2017 06:03:59 pm

Here,here RichardM, I'm sick to death of the barrage of abuse I get just because my parents choose to name me Richard.

Richard Inches

19/6/2017 06:29:59 pm

Also sick to the back teeth of the whole Richard business

Richard Hancock

19/6/2017 06:53:20 pm

Oh, grow up you lot.

RichardM

19/6/2017 06:46:29 pm

Indeed: my surname is Magnet.

Richard Fiddler

19/6/2017 06:59:50 pm

At last someone brave enough to highlight our plight, it's about time all us Richards stand up and fight.

sawdy

19/6/2017 07:08:56 pm

hahah*applauds*

CrispyF

19/6/2017 09:45:19 pm

MEMBRANE.
Lovely lovely membrane. Porous or non-porous, I don't care. I just want to crawl 'neath that sweet, undulating membrane.

20/6/2017 10:04:45 pm

Hahaha, what i did reading this. It really is like no other funnies.
Thanks, mr b.

Toaster

21/6/2017 11:04:08 pm

Biffo, you rule.

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