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DIGITISER 2000'S 'ONES TO WATCH' IN 2016!

18/1/2016

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PictureSOME OF THE STARS WE'VE LOST ALREADY IN 2016...
T'wowzers! We're not even at the end of January, and the stars of the entertainment biz are dropping like flies - at this rate, there's going to be nobody left by the end of the year!!!!!

Fortunately, the celebrity engines are being fired up to crank out the next generation of A-Lister to replace them - but who exactly are we going to be worshipping in the months and years to come?!!!!?!

Get your autograph albums at the ready, folks - for here's Digitiser2000's definitive list of the ones to watch in 2016!

JIMMY PEANUT!
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Jimmy's the lad with the knack, who just wants to party like it's 1349! Let's hope the Black Death doesn't return, as this is one Peanut we don't have an allergy to!
BONGO STARR!
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Bongo's the kinda gal who doesn't even know the meaning of quitting! This is because she doesn't speak English, and in her native tongue the word for quitting is spelled quite differently!
BAMBEAU!
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This cheeky little scamp can bend her lower jaw back over the top of her head without breaking a sweat! Her favourite colour is blench!
LITTLE TURNIP!
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Turnip by name, turnip by nature, Little Turnip lives in the ground, and is a member of the root vegetable family! Hear him roar!
SAL GARCIA!
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Mr Garcia hates being called by his full name - Salmonellabignips! Don't slip up, or he might slide a coin under your eyelid!
SHANIA SCHWEINHUND!
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Born in the early hours of yesterday morning, Shania's just released her new single - a haunting ballad that will make you wish ghosts weren't real!
TILLY NEVVIN!
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The hottest teen on the scene, Tilly Nevvin grew up in a toll booth, has nine imaginary sons, and yet has never seen a spine!
MINNIE THE MOOH
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Ms Mooh has impeccable manners, providing you don't trample on her family! What's more, she has the directions to Copenhagen tattooed on her left shin!
SAD PETHEFENNY!
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The brother of the late Happy Pethefenny, Sad picks up where his sibling left off - lolling around on a lawn for reasons undisclosed!
MS GASPS!
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Ms Gasps has always kept a low profile, despite being the creator of all the treasure maps in the world! Now she's stepping out of the shadows to show the world her latest talent: lemon carving!
MEGA RUDE SUPER DUDE!
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With his boyish good looks and off-the-charts charisma, Mega Rude Super Dude is sure to go far! He's just been cast in a new biopic of Nelson Mandela, as a friendly gust!

​(Thanks to @MrPSB for the inspiration...)
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1 Comment
Tagine Genie
18/1/2016 01:09:25 pm

These articles are really starting to get up my nose.

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