"It was never meant to be like this. When Notch created the popular computer game Minecraft, Notch saw it as a simple little cave game.
"It was never meant to be Notch's greatest achievement, and the thing for which Notch will be most remembered, long after Notch is gone.
"For Notch, Minecraft remains a means to an end. Fortunately, it has bestowed Notch with almost unlimited wealth, and that shall allow Notch to pursue his true purpose. Minecraft is therefore naught but a stepping stone towards the real reason Notch was given life: to invent Silly Rope."
"It was never meant to be Notch's greatest achievement, and the thing for which Notch will be most remembered, long after Notch is gone.
"For Notch, Minecraft remains a means to an end. Fortunately, it has bestowed Notch with almost unlimited wealth, and that shall allow Notch to pursue his true purpose. Minecraft is therefore naught but a stepping stone towards the real reason Notch was given life: to invent Silly Rope."
WHAT IS SILLY ROPE?
"Imagine you are at a party. People are passing around the Silly String cans, and begin spraying.
"The coloured strings spurt through the air like streamers. But there is something missing: a certain thickness and durability. Perhaps if Silly String was more substantial people would be having even more fun. Who knows?
"But then somebody starts a fire. The room is burning. The door is burning. The buffet is aflame. The only escape is through the window - but the party is on the fourth floor! Someone has the bright idea of using the Silly String to climb down to safety.
"The first person to grasp the cord falls to her death. No wonder it is called 'Silly' String, LOL. This is where Notch's Silly Rope steps in. Silly Rope is thicker, stronger, and even sillier than Silly String. It can be used in many emergency situations, as well as almost all party situations. Silly Rope cans will spray forth a rope that has the equivalent tensile strength of fifteen cans of Silly String. Maybe even more."
"Imagine you are at a party. People are passing around the Silly String cans, and begin spraying.
"The coloured strings spurt through the air like streamers. But there is something missing: a certain thickness and durability. Perhaps if Silly String was more substantial people would be having even more fun. Who knows?
"But then somebody starts a fire. The room is burning. The door is burning. The buffet is aflame. The only escape is through the window - but the party is on the fourth floor! Someone has the bright idea of using the Silly String to climb down to safety.
"The first person to grasp the cord falls to her death. No wonder it is called 'Silly' String, LOL. This is where Notch's Silly Rope steps in. Silly Rope is thicker, stronger, and even sillier than Silly String. It can be used in many emergency situations, as well as almost all party situations. Silly Rope cans will spray forth a rope that has the equivalent tensile strength of fifteen cans of Silly String. Maybe even more."
UP NOTCH'S SLEEVE
"Notch's Silly Rope will prove to all that Notch is more than just a computer cave game guy. That he has more tricks up his mighty sleeve.
"Notch will become known as the inventor of Silly Rope, and his cave game will become a microscopic footnote in his obituary.
"There are numerous obstacles to overcome, of course. Notch is still at the theoretical stage. He lays awake at night imagining all the different things with which he could use the Silly Rope. It could be used for binding horse legs together in an emergency, or tethering a blimp to a temple, or hanging a felon by his neck until throttled.
"The biggest problem Notch faces is how to actually go about manufacturing Silly Rope. First, Notch must learn about chemistry, or something, and buy a factory. And then find some really big cans to put the Silly Rope in. As the development process continues, he should probably find some way to make the cans smaller, without compromising the integrity of the Silly Rope.
"Also, there's marketing to consider. A name change might be required. 'Silly Rope' suggests that the Silly Rope could be used only for silly things: spraying it over the crowd at Morrissey concert, or spraying it at a woman's arse.
"As previously stated, Notch considers that Silly Rope will be used for sensible things also. Notch has considered the names 'Sensible Rope', or 'Serious Rope', but that doesn't quite convey that Silly Rope isn't merely the same thing as normal rope, of the sort that is readily available today.
"'Rope In A Can' has been suggested by some (without prompting, I should add), but - again - it fails to encompass the totality of what Silly Rope can potentially accomplish. Currently, Notch favours the name 'Silly & Serious Rope', though Notch fully expects that to change before he can hit the market; the product has a long road ahead of it, and Notch will not be rushed. Watch this space. These are exciting times. Rass!"
"Notch's Silly Rope will prove to all that Notch is more than just a computer cave game guy. That he has more tricks up his mighty sleeve.
"Notch will become known as the inventor of Silly Rope, and his cave game will become a microscopic footnote in his obituary.
"There are numerous obstacles to overcome, of course. Notch is still at the theoretical stage. He lays awake at night imagining all the different things with which he could use the Silly Rope. It could be used for binding horse legs together in an emergency, or tethering a blimp to a temple, or hanging a felon by his neck until throttled.
"The biggest problem Notch faces is how to actually go about manufacturing Silly Rope. First, Notch must learn about chemistry, or something, and buy a factory. And then find some really big cans to put the Silly Rope in. As the development process continues, he should probably find some way to make the cans smaller, without compromising the integrity of the Silly Rope.
"Also, there's marketing to consider. A name change might be required. 'Silly Rope' suggests that the Silly Rope could be used only for silly things: spraying it over the crowd at Morrissey concert, or spraying it at a woman's arse.
"As previously stated, Notch considers that Silly Rope will be used for sensible things also. Notch has considered the names 'Sensible Rope', or 'Serious Rope', but that doesn't quite convey that Silly Rope isn't merely the same thing as normal rope, of the sort that is readily available today.
"'Rope In A Can' has been suggested by some (without prompting, I should add), but - again - it fails to encompass the totality of what Silly Rope can potentially accomplish. Currently, Notch favours the name 'Silly & Serious Rope', though Notch fully expects that to change before he can hit the market; the product has a long road ahead of it, and Notch will not be rushed. Watch this space. These are exciting times. Rass!"
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
THIS ARTICLE OFFERS A BRIEF HISTORY OF GAME COMPANY LOGOS - AND NOTHING TO DO WITH WASPS
DIARY: SEAN MURRAY - THE REASON I CAN'T ENJOY THE SUCCESS OF NO MAN'S SKY IS BECAUSE OF DRACULA
IT'S NOT FOR US TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH THESE PHOTOS OF VINTAGE GAMERS... BUT PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO SHOW THEM TO YOUR DAD IN THE BATH?
THIS ARTICLE OFFERS A BRIEF HISTORY OF GAME COMPANY LOGOS - AND NOTHING TO DO WITH WASPS
DIARY: SEAN MURRAY - THE REASON I CAN'T ENJOY THE SUCCESS OF NO MAN'S SKY IS BECAUSE OF DRACULA
IT'S NOT FOR US TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH THESE PHOTOS OF VINTAGE GAMERS... BUT PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO SHOW THEM TO YOUR DAD IN THE BATH?
RSS Feed
