DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

DEVELOPER DIARY: NOTCH - WHY MINECRAFT WON'T BE MY CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT

20/9/2016

16 Comments

 
Picture
"It was never meant to be like this. When Notch created the popular computer game Minecraft, Notch saw it as a simple little cave game.

"It was never meant to be Notch's greatest achievement, and the thing for which Notch will be most remembered, long after Notch is gone.

"For Notch, Minecraft remains a means to an end. Fortunately, it has bestowed Notch with almost unlimited wealth, and that shall allow Notch to pursue his true purpose. Minecraft is therefore naught but a stepping stone towards the real reason Notch was given life: to invent Silly Rope."
Picture
WHAT IS SILLY ROPE?
"Imagine you are at a party. People are passing around the Silly String cans, and begin spraying.

"The coloured strings spurt through the air like streamers. But there is something missing: a certain thickness and durability. Perhaps if Silly String was more substantial people would be having even more fun. Who knows?

"But then somebody starts a fire. The room is burning. The door is burning. The buffet is aflame. The only escape is through the window - but the party is on the fourth floor! Someone has the bright idea of using the Silly String to climb down to safety.

"The first person to grasp the cord falls to her death. No wonder it is called 'Silly' String, LOL. This is where Notch's Silly Rope steps in. Silly Rope is thicker, stronger, and even sillier than Silly String. It can be used in many emergency situations, as well as almost all party situations. Silly Rope cans will spray forth a rope that has the equivalent tensile strength of fifteen cans of Silly String. Maybe even more."

Picture
UP NOTCH'S SLEEVE
​"Notch's Silly Rope will prove to all that Notch is more than just a computer cave game guy. That he has more tricks up his mighty sleeve.

"Notch will become known as the inventor of Silly Rope, and his cave game will become a microscopic footnote in his obituary.


"There are numerous obstacles to overcome, of course. Notch is still at the theoretical stage. He lays awake at night imagining all the different things with which he could use the Silly Rope. It could be used for binding horse legs together in an emergency, or tethering a blimp to a temple, or hanging a felon by his neck until throttled.

"The biggest problem Notch faces is how to actually go about manufacturing Silly Rope. First, Notch must learn about chemistry, or something, and buy a factory. And then find some really big cans to put the Silly Rope in. As the development process continues, he should probably find some way to make the cans smaller, without compromising the integrity of the Silly Rope. 

"Also, there's marketing to consider. A name change might be required. 'Silly Rope' suggests that the Silly Rope could be used only for silly things: spraying it over the crowd at Morrissey concert, or spraying it at a woman's arse.

"As previously stated, Notch considers that Silly Rope will be used for sensible things also. Notch has considered the names 'Sensible Rope', or 'Serious Rope', but that doesn't quite convey that Silly Rope isn't merely the same thing as normal rope, of the sort that is readily available today.


"'Rope In A Can' has been suggested by some (without prompting, I should add), but - again - it fails to encompass the totality of what Silly Rope can potentially accomplish. Currently, Notch favours the name 'Silly & Serious Rope', though Notch fully expects that to change before he can hit the market; the product has a long road ahead of it, and Notch will not be rushed. Watch this space. These are exciting times. Rass!"

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
THIS ARTICLE OFFERS A BRIEF HISTORY OF GAME COMPANY LOGOS - AND NOTHING TO DO WITH WASPS
​
DIARY: SEAN MURRAY - THE REASON I CAN'T ENJOY THE SUCCESS OF NO MAN'S SKY IS BECAUSE OF DRACULA
IT'S NOT FOR US TO TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH THESE PHOTOS OF VINTAGE GAMERS... BUT PERHAPS YOU'D LIKE TO SHOW THEM TO YOUR DAD IN THE BATH?

16 Comments
Gamerscribe link
20/9/2016 12:41:20 pm

Thank you Biffo, you mad funny monkey you...

Reply
Da5e
20/9/2016 01:26:26 pm

'Ambivalent Rope'

Reply
Seano
20/9/2016 02:00:28 pm

That's a bit sexist. Why not spray your silly rope at a man's bum?

Reply
Chris Wyatt
20/9/2016 02:07:55 pm

Bumrope

Reply
RichardM
20/9/2016 03:18:06 pm

Thia reminds me of the article about Notch's hat.

Can we have more headwear related articles, please? What is under Dave Perry's bandana, please?

Reply
Mr Biffo
20/9/2016 03:25:59 pm

Are you coming to Digifest? You might find out...

Reply
RichardM
20/9/2016 03:36:27 pm

Sadly not! You uncaringly scheduled it opposite the family holiday, the missus being wholly unswayed by arguments like 'we can bring the children to Disneyland next year' or 'we might find out what's Dave Perry's bandana'.

Oh well. Hopefully there'll be some Digi mugs left over.

Mr Biffo
20/9/2016 04:58:55 pm

Disneyland? In term time? What nonsense is this?!

RichardM
20/9/2016 06:42:14 pm

They're not at school yet! Don't be calling the social on me. Agreed that it seems a bit decadent bringing under fives to Disneyland, but it's only the Paris one: we'll do Florida when they can definitely remember it.

Mr Biffo
20/9/2016 09:13:47 pm

I'll let you off... Have a good one. Frankly, I'd have chosen Disney over Digifest too.

RG
20/9/2016 04:36:14 pm

Sillirious Rope - for crazy fun and practical uses.

Would the rope come out as one colour or as a combination - like lots of silly string woven together into a sturdy but gaudy rope? If this is the case it would simply be a case of creating an auto-rotating multi-nozzle(tm) that would knit together the contents of several silly string cans.

Or perhaps I'm over thinking this...

Reply
Voodoo76
20/9/2016 04:44:52 pm

Surely this idea won't make him as much money as Minecraft. I don't understand why he'd pursue this idea. What about Minecraft 2 or something.

Reply
Chris Wyatt
21/9/2016 09:35:47 pm

Maybe someone roped him into it?

Reply
Kara Van Park
20/9/2016 11:39:50 pm

The product Silly Rope has several similarities to my patented pending 'Tendrils of Whimsy

Reply
Ben
21/9/2016 06:03:49 pm

Dopey Rope, you idiot.

Reply
iulian onea
21/7/2017 06:59:46 pm

there herobrine

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    May 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ