Those were the days. The days were I could spend 48 hours caning it so hard that I gave myself septicaemia, and still rock up for work on Monday to write my top games mag column about what I can remember of my clubbing exploits.
Nowadays it's all fooking websites and YouTube and lists and shit. Well fook off! Because get this - I'm better at doing games journalism than any of these fooking four year-olds with their tunnel earrings and trendy fooking glasses that they've got now. And to prove it here's the best list you'll ever read.
Seriously, you're gonna want to share this with your fooking mates, because they'll literally piss themselves thrice. It's Cyber-X's 10 Things That Couldn't Look Less Like That Bloke out of The Witcher 3.